Regaining Repose
by TeaAndGlee
Summary: A Cheerio, dating someone who could easily be branded a dork… well, no one ever said high school was easy. Marley Rose is finally giving it a shot with Ryder, a glee clubber and honorary geek. As they battle through their last year at McKinley, there is sure to be drama - will Marley let their turbulent year brainwash her into the popularity mind-set? SEQUEL TO 'NEW PERSPECTIVE'.
1. The Prologue

**Back, as promised ;)**

**Just so any new readers know: this story is the sequel to my other story, **_**New Perspective**_** – so if you haven't read that, I thoroughly recommend you do so you can fully understand this story.**

**I was going to wait to post this up in October so it would hit the 1 year anniversary of **_**New Perspective**_**, but I just couldn't wait any longer! Enjoy.**

**DISCLAIMER: Glee isn't mine.**

* * *

Senior year. Class of 2015. Next year, she would be let out into the world. Of course, when she was a freshman, she never dreamt that this would be how it would go – the dream was always to get popular, get loved, win prom queen, fall in love with a prince charming with a gorgeous physique, then go off into the big wide world knowing that no one could touch Marley Rose. That was always the dream. And this senior year was hardly anything like that dream at all.

"Up. No, down. It looks more casual down. But it's chilly today and everyone will be wearing them up… but down. Yes, definitely down. Hold on, let's try it up again, just to make sure…" The brunette bickered to herself indecisively, doing so whilst pulling the zipper of her boyfriend's hoodie up to his chest, before another idea shot into her brain and triggered her to place the zipper of the navy hoodie back down at the hem, unclasping it altogether and letting the sides of the clothing article swing calmly at his hips. The model in question, of course, being none other than Glee Clubber and raging fan of science and math, Mister Ryder Lynn.

"Babe," Ryder cut in, surprising both himself and his smaller doe-eyed girlfriend. Upon hearing the chestnut-haired boy's interruption, she paused, halfway through another mumbling sentence and a zip-up, looking up at him with a worried look etched across her pale face.

"What?" She whispered, frustrated, annoyed at her own tentativeness. Her hands still gripped the hem of his hoodie.

Ryder's face softened at her narrow expression, and he began caressing one of her cheeks with a large thumb as he shrugged. "The hoodie doesn't matter." He brushed aside, hoping she would believe his words.

"Yeah, but…" Marley shrugged back in response, looking down at her perfectly manicured nails, painted a pale, natural pink. Despite having been painted just yesterday in preparation for this day, they began to chip at the tips, undoubtedly due to her anxious nibbling and picking at them. She let out a final huff. "I'm sorry. I guess I just want everything to be…"

"I know." Ryder understood, accepting Marley's train of thought instantly; he had been fussing about this too.

20 minutes later, following simple talk about what small things were happening in their lives soon and when – trips, parents, applications, dates, movies – it was about time to start moving in.

The couple agreed several nights before to come in early for the first day of school and meet behind the dumpsters, preparing themselves on the day so that it would be easier to take in the moment; to gain composure. Then, once this tranquillity was gained, they would walk into school together, holding hands, making themselves vulnerable to the public eye and – ideally – with confidence. But after a long summer of countless perfect nights without the pressure of high school or the ever-scary social ladder that McKinley possessed, the pair were out of practice, and feared they had miscalculated things. Would they curl under pressure? Act unnatural? Slip down the linoleum floor and make complete fools of themselves right for the student body to see?

"Mar, maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe we should wait a little while, wait until everyone is more relaxed." Ryder caved. To be frank, he was petrified. The boy knew very well what the students of that school were capable of: seemingly eating them alive, slushying them until their skin is a permanent cold, malicious teasing, even physical assault. And now it was time for Marley to do the reassuring.

"Ry, we're seniors now. It's the first day of school, I'm sure no one will even notice us because they'll be too busy catching up with each other." They both knew that could very well be a lie. "Okay, okay. Okay. Breathe. We can do this. Just act nonchalant, like nothing is even weird. Nothing _is _weird, right? It's just a relationship."

"_Just a relationship between a Cheerio and the biggest dork in school, yeah, I'm sure it's _totally_ casual."_ Ryder almost retorted sarcastically, but he was too whipped and overtaken with nerves to interrupt as his girlfriend continued her assurance.

"Mr Schue emailed us and told us that we'll be having a quick Glee Club meeting before the mandatory school assembly, remember? All we have to do is grab our stuff from our lockers, and walk to the choir room. And then, when we're in there, we can breathe easy, alright?" Marley went on tiptoes and gave Ryder a reassuring kiss on the cheek (and, doing so, appreciated her last few moments of privacy). "Everything will be fine." She mumbled into his skin.

Though she still didn't know if she was saying that to her boyfriend or herself.

Marley pulled her hands out from her Cheerios sweater cardigan, shivering at the cold morning air that now smoothed over them, before straightening her back up. "You ready?"

"I guess." Ryder bit his lip, rising from his leaning position against the school's brick wall. Raking a hand through his Bieber-styled hair, messing it up slightly, and adjusting his black-frame glasses, he confirmed his statement. "Okay, ready."

"Okay," Marley returned with a nervous stride, taking a few steps closer to the entrance with the boy, before frowning and stopping in her tracks. "Wait, wait, wait." She jittered.

"What is it-" Ryder halted and looked at her, before snorting instantaneously at the blue-eyed girl's actions. She had licked her thumb and was now smoothing over Ryder's locks, neatening and fixing the mess that he had done to it a couple of seconds ago.

Moments later, Marley finally looked satisfied and they began walking again, only to stop for a second time after a few more steps. This time, the brunette's thin fingers gripped around the loose hems of Ryder's hoodie, about to try zipping it up again.

"Marley." Ryder spoke abruptly, catching her attention once again, looking at her blankly.

"Fine, okay, sorry." Marley shook her head of her thoughts on the clothing article, and began taking slow but sure strides, closer to the entrance of McKinley. They let a few students passed them, and soon, they were right by the double doors. The cheerleader mumbled something incoherent under her breath before rushing into the school, giving Ryder no other option but to follow suit.

And then, they were in. And the hallways were packed.

Flooded with students and teachers alike, all abuzz with news on vacation or the semester to come… given any other situation, the couple would have done the same. But not now. Now, on the first day of their last year at high school, there was more important business than gossip – the gossip would soon be about _them_, anyway. Marley bit back the urge to roll her eyes at how awfully dramatic the whole event was. Look at them, just a few peaceful high schoolers, but by tomorrow they would be making the New York Times, or something equally, outrageously ridiculous. Why did this even have to be dramatic in the first place? Why is everything taken so personally; so seriously at this school? Why is a cheerleader and a "geek" dating suddenly the biggest love affair of all time – why are they branded star-crossed lovers? Why is this the modern Romeo and Juliet? The story of the McKinley High School century? Before she could go more into what was wrong with humanity and her high school, she felt a pair of eyes look at her.

Slowly turning her head, he looked at her. Nerves. Expectancy. Reassurance. Anxiousness. All mixed within the brown orbs he possessed. She couldn't use words – not now, now that so many people were around… for some reason, it felt wrong. So she used her eyes as well, and a simple head nod, telling him that she was ready. That was all it took for his hand to extend to hers, their fingers slotting together like the perfect jigsaw puzzle, intertwining, sharing mutual clamminess.

They began walking, looking nowhere in particular, guiding each other through the crowded hallways, though for some reason the people parted like the Red Sea at even the sight of the pair. It was ridiculous. She felt ridiculous, he felt ridiculous. But they continued to appear nonchalant to the ever-growing witness count. Marley's blue eyes drifted aimlessly towards the end of the corridor, landing on a certain Jacob Ben Israel, who was frantically jumping around the hallways and ricocheting off the lockers like a tennis ball, interviewing everyone on their vacation; she sent a silent prayer, hoping at all costs that he wouldn't stumble upon her and Ryder. And so, hoping her prayers would be answered, they continued venturing down the chaotic hallways of McKinley with their hands still intertwined. First stop, Ryder's locker. Then Marley's. Then the choir room. Then the auditorium. Ryder began regretting the entire thing, etching another nonchalant expression into his face, hoping there wasn't too long to go before they stopped – which is why relief flooded over him as they arrived at his locker.

Marley let out a sigh as she watched him exchange books, letting the other unrelated conversations going on in the hallways surround and reassure them. She contemplated peering over her shoulder to see if anyone was looking at them, but eventually decided against it, coming to the conclusion that it was better off not knowing instead.

Marley's locker followed on their journey soon after. Putting in and exchanging folders and books into her Cheerios backpack, the cerulean-eyed teenager instinctively started mumbling every fault in their performance. "I kept narrowing my eyebrows and not looking nonchalant. People knew I was uncomfortable with them watching us like that – and I am, Ry. I am! I mean, why can't we just walk through the halls like a normal couple should? Oh God, I almost tripped. Jeanette and Kasey from the Cheerios looked right at me – right at _us_ – oh jeez, oh God, oh-"

"Marley, shhh." Ryder pacified. "Everything's fine. You look great, and it doesn't even matter what they think, remember? It's us against them, and we're always winning." He grinned to reassure her.

"Mhm, yeah. Sorry. I'm okay." Marley brushed off, grinning back.

"You're sure?"

"Positive."

"Okay then. You ready?"

"Mhm," The girl confirmed as she slung her red, white and black backpack over one shoulder and grabbed Ryder's sweaty hand with her own once again, marching down the corridor with new confidence that Ryder attempted to match. He tried to focus on the fact that he was living the dream: he was walking down packed hallways of high school with a beautiful Cheerio fastened on his arm. He belonged only to her, and she belonged only to him – how devotion should be.

Their journey was almost at an end and, ignoring a few sniggers as they sidestepped a pack of jocks, they finally wormed their way through the crowds and came face-to-face with the choir room. Stepping in hurriedly as if the space just outside the room was lava, they finally arrived into the welcoming embrace of the area. The brunette finally drew her clammy hand from Ryder's equally moist one, and wrapped her arms around his neck, breathing her first true sigh of freedom into his shoulder. Encircling her waist in his arms in an instant, he breathed in the reassuring scent of her perfume, looking behind her at the equally comforting room he was in, and let out a chuckle. Never had he been so anxious walking down a simple hallway before.

His chuckles and thoughts appeared contagious, because now, Marley was giggling into his hoodie and mumbling "that was the scariest trip of my entire life, as stupid as that is" under her breath. Though she was glad, because it was nowhere as bad as she had dreamt it would be… nevertheless, it was still terrifying, considering their past.

When the Cheerio finally broke away from the hug, she took the liberty of looking right in front of her. Tina, Blaine, Sam, Artie, Sugar, Katie… all people that she knew and who had, after a while, finally accepted her, and he only hoped that they – especially Katie (although I guess she expected it months ago anyway) – would accept _this_.

Ryder sighed for the umpteenth time that day, walking away from their spot at the door and venturing instead over to a chair to the left of the room, on the bottom row. The boy was slinging his bag down his shoulder and disregarding it on another chair to his left as Marley began walking over, abandoning her backpack on the floor near his. The brunette girl sat across his lap with a grin and rested her hands on his shoulders, then leaned forward and connected their lips for a reassuring, adoring kiss, soon sealing it with a second peck-

"Uh, hello?" Tina exclaimed. The pair hadn't known that pretty much the entire club had started watching them from the minute Marley sat across Ryder's lap.

"Um… hi." Marley pulled away from Ryder and replied, keeping with the concept of nonchalance.

"Wow, it's been five minutes back in school and there's already drama."

"There's no drama-" Ryder started to butt in.

"A Cheerio and a dork having a public relationship in McKinley _isn't drama_? I don't know what you guys smoked in the summer, but it sure is getting to your head." The fellow clubber scoffed.

"Maybe we're trying to _make_ it no drama." Marley said calmly, though she didn't know how much more serenity there was left in her.

"Yeah, like _that's _possible." Sugar scoffed.

"Seriously, when did this happen?" Artie asked. More agonising questions followed, and even though the sight of Ryder getting more and more crimson was increasingly adorable, Marley hated this invasion of privacy. She was usually use to this, considering that when she was still very popular, these would be regular occurrences, but enough was enough, and her boyfriend was still extremely new to this kind of bombardment, so she finally lost her temper and yelled for them to shut up. Having been finally content with the quiet in the room, she persisted in telling them that even though it wasn't any of their business, she and Ryder _were _together.

"And if you could make as little a deal out of it as possible, well, that would be just perfect."

* * *

**Chapter one complete! I'm so happy to be back with this second instalment. I'll most likely right other things as well, and keep with my **_**Anecdotes **_**story, but I must say: it's great to be back.**

**Please review, favourite and follow this story if you like it! I'd love some feedback :)**

**-Beth :)**


	2. The Rising Nerves

**Here's the second chapter :) I hope you enjoy it! **

**For various reasons, I've decided to time jump to a week before Sectionals – so around November. I also introduced a certain someone in this one…**

* * *

"Okay, so, mock all you want, but I'm just gonna come out and say what everyone's been thinking of this book since it first came out: Wuthering Heights _sucks_." Marley proclaimed as her shoulders slumped. "Firstly: Heathcliff is a freaking _psychopath _\- I mean, what guy digs up his ex from her grave and hugs her? That's _beyond _creepy. And, secondly: why did they have to make it so damn confusing? Two Catherines, Linton and Earnshaw, how the book inexplicably switches to be in Nelly's point of view after the fourth chapter or whatever, and Jesus Christ, don't even get me _started _on the language. Like, I understand that it was written a million years ago or something, but I'm pretty sure that there are some things in that god-awful book that even the people back _then _wouldn't have understood. Like, there's this one line which I only recall because of its pure _ridiculousness_, where Nelly or someone said "Is it like?" and the reply is "Yes."What the actual hell? Is it like _what_?!" Marley gestured wildly in frustration, her eyebrows narrowed in confusion and anger as her boyfriend watched amusedly from a meter or so away, on the pink rug in the brunette's bedroom. "And then our English teacher – who, by the way, is one _hell _of a perv – goes and tells us we have to write an essay on it, and that the essay is worth _thirty per cent of our final grade. _No way am I getting into college after attempting to decode that awful thing that people call a book. It's like Mr Hanson actually, physically _hates _me."

Ryder just chuckled in reply. "Mar, you're overreacting."

"No, I am not." The blue-eyed girl groaned. "I just really, really, really, really, really hate Wuthering Heights."

"Come on," Ryder scoffed. "It's a classic novel."

"Yeah, more like a classic pain in my ass." Marley grumbled.

The boy sighed as he tried to think of more reassuring words that might put his girlfriend in a better mood. "You'll ace the test, Marley. I know you will. And Mr Hansen _loves _you."

"Does he? Because I think he's more interested in what size my bra is, from the looks of it." She crossed her arms as she straightened her back again, looking at the countless revision notes she had attempted to make in preparation for this exam. As of late, nothing much had stuck.

The brown-haired boy huffed once again, trying to think of more things that could lift her spirits. "Look. The essay deadline is a few weeks away, and I'll help you study as much as I can for it. I know you're struggling, babe, and I don't blame you for it at all, but everything will be okay, I promise. And hey, even if you do awfully and get a bad mark, you can always retake it."

Marley looked at him intensely for a few seconds, before her eyes strayed away from him once more as she breathed out deeply. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Thank you." She stifled a smile before planting a soft kiss on his lips which he reciprocated. More kisses were bestowed on the young man's lips as the brunette crawled over, onto his lap – something that she did frequently, Ryder found - not that he minded.

When the pair finally parted, the girl grinned as her eyes fluttered open to gaze at him, then the small space between their chests. After a while of listening serenely to the sound of his steady breathing, she finally spoke: "I'm glad we can do this without people staring at us." Ryder nodded in response.

It was something that the two hardly ever spoke of, but it was far from invisible and they both knew it. Since coming out as an official couple at the beginning of the school year, sniggers and stares were still aimed at the pair unsubtly as they walked hand in hand and stole _very _short kisses in the hallway; in all honesty, Marley was just glad it was nothing worse yet, but deep inside she was afraid for what would come – she was petrified for anything else that might happen, since it had only been the first few months of the entire school year. She knew very well that just because there was a silence, it was never going to be a permanent silence.

Ryder saw her expression drop over seconds since she uttered the words and brought up a conversation that was probably better avoided, so, in his usual good-guy nature, he tried to change the subject quickly, delving into his mind and hunting for something as quickly as possible that would lift the atmosphere. "So, how are rehearsals for Sectionals going?"

Marley sighed in response – Ryder thought that would be the only response he would get, but luckily, the cheerleader finally found words. "I'm nervous, I guess. Which is stupid. But yeah." She bit her lip.

"You're gonna be awesome, though," Ryder hummed in response as he smiled, hoping she would do the same, and kissed her quickly to lift her spirits. She sighed again.

"Only if my serenity is in check," She giggled. "I have so much to worry about."

"Like what?" Ryder insisted she reminded him.

"Well, I'm soloing the opening number, I'm basically choreographing the entire number too, my song choice is pretty appalling, it's my first show choir competition, due to popular demand I've included a demanding move in my solo which as of late I am struggling with… and my Cheerios sectionals competition is in the same week. So only a few things to be worried about." Marley teased as she conjured up the ideas in her head.

"Hey, listen to me," Ryder said as he ran his hands up and down her waist and hips soothingly. "You're gonna be fine. It's totally normal for you to be nervous about these things, but you don't need to worry, okay? I know you. I know how talented you are. And, more than anything else, I know that you can nail all of those things you just listed, as long as you keep a positive mind-set an as long as you remember that even if those things don't work out, it's okay. And I'm always here for you." Ryder grinned as he spoke the words meaningfully.

The girl beamed, suggesting that the boy's grin was contagious. "Thank you."

"Anytime." The boy said in return, leaning in for another kiss.

"I'm glad I can count on you and your corny motivational speeches to get me out of the dumps." Marley mumbled against his lips.

"Ssshhhhh."

"Maybe we should keep our distance. Your dorky cliché-ness is going to rub off on me soon." Marley joked in between kisses.

"What do you mean "_soon"_?" Ryder teased, earning a playful slap on the arm in response. "So, Cathy, are you ready to get back to studying?"

"_Do not _call me Cathy. I want nothing to do with that poor excuse of a novel." Marley retorted in false rage as she slid off his lap and back onto the hot pink rug.

* * *

"Sectionals!" Mr Schuester exclaimed as he wrote the word on the whiteboard at the front of the room in large, capital letters; everyone else clapped and whooped at merely the word, all except one – the brunette clapped along so to add to the crowd politely, but was having difficulty when trying to overcome her several worries. As a result, she only half-listened as Mr Schue went on about how they needed to work as a team and should channel all energy into their performances, the words all becoming a blur, eliding and growing ever meaningless… she had heard the speech thousands of times for different occasions, anyway. Upon hearing her name woven into Mr Schue's next sentence, she listened a little more intently, but still very much in a daze.

"Now, Marley has told me that work on her solo with the girls is going great, with only a few more things to polish, and the other group numbers are coming along well, but I think that there still might be work to be done before we are guaranteed a Sectionals trophy – after all, the competition is only a week away." He paused, looking thoughtfully at his audience, before a peculiar grin crept onto his face, his voice booming. "That said, I brought in an old ND alumnae to help us prepare ourselves for Sectionals. Some of you might know her, she graduated two years ago… so please, put your hands together for the one and only, Miss Santana Lopez!"

"Santana Lopez?" Marley's eyes widened, accompanied by her head snapping up from her lap and, within seconds, the Latina girl herself was walking into the room wearing one of her casual, albeit criminally tight dresses. Upon seeing the older girl in the flesh, her eyes widened impossibly further and she screamed, shocking everyone in the room - it caught Santana's attention, at least. Santana instantly swept her eyes across the room as she stopped in her tracks, prepared to slap whoever the source of the irritating noise was, but when her eyes landed on a girl dressed in a Cheerios costume, a girl she hadn't seen since her senior year of McKinley, her mood suddenly capsized into something lighter.

Soon, it was her turn to yell. "Oh my God, Marley?!"

Marley nodded excitedly before instantly jumping up from her seat and darting to the older girl, engulfing her in a tight hug which Santana instantly returned as they mumbled "oh my God"s and "what are you doing here"s into each other's hair, oblivious to the perplexed looks they were receiving from the other people in the room. When the younger girl finally pulled away, she didn't even look around the room before she began chatting animatedly and at a fast pace to Santana, who replied matching her speed; it was only when someone unsubtly coughed in their direction that they pulled away from each other completely and acknowledged the others in the choir room. Various confused expressions saw Marley explaining everything.

"Basically, in the Cheerios, everyone is assigned an older mentor so that the team is closely-knit and better at performing together and all friendly and whatever at practises so that someone doesn't "accidentally" drop someone off the top of the pyramid at pep rallies…" Marley smirked rather darkly, before shaking her head. "Not the point. Anyway, when Yours Truly joined the squad as a budding young freshman, her assigned mentor was none other than Santana Lopez, who was just starting her junior year. We clicked instantly – no surprise." For comedic affect, Ms Lopez bowed at the mention of her name, as the sea of confused faces soon washed away gradually upon the brunette's explanation.

"Ahhh," Santana grinned somewhat philosophically, "I remember getting her started on her first contraceptive back in her ripe old freshman year…" Santana reminisced thoughtfully out loud, earning a playful slap from Marley.

The thing is, Marley never knew that Santana was in Glee Club as a junior and a senior, or that she helped lead them to a Nationals victory. Then again, maybe she mentioned it once or twice… she wasn't sure. Likewise, Santana was more than surprised to learn that Marley herself had joined the club, and had bagged a long-term boyfriend who was also not her usual type (to emphasise the least). Santana was unquestionably surprised at the girl's unmistakably different personality.

"Listen," The older girl spoke in a hushed tone to the brunette. "We really have some catching up to do… are you free after school? Maybe we could meet at that coffee store that I'm surprised is still on its legs, yeah?" Santana smirked, earning a winning smile from her younger friend – coincidentally, the first one in a long time.

"Totally."

With that, Santana greeted her other acquaintances in the room, and a few new faces which she happily accepted (among these lay Ryder), before the club finally returned to their Sectionals preparations.

Seeing her old friend again at least took some of the weight off Marley's shoulders for a while.

* * *

"Okay, so you're telling me that as if Coach Sue didn't torture you enough, you have to drink _protein shakes _now?" The 20-year-old McKinley graduate guffawed as the beverage in question made its way out of Marley's bag in sachet form, the brunette playing with it in her fingers before decanting the powder into a plastic bottle filled with water and shaking vigorously.

The other girl's response came in between giggles as she shook the liquid. "It's a new thing she's trying out this cemester. She swears by these things, and thinks they'll improve our _"sloppy actions"_, so we have to drink these around the clock. They actually taste okay, surprisingly enough."

"Yeah, well, I'll be the judge of that. I've tasted things wild beyond your dreams, Rose. It's what Adjacent does to you." Santana said upon snatching the shake from Marley's fingers and taking a swig, before grimacing. "God, that tastes like it came from beneath my grandmother's toenails – how can you consume that on a daily basis?!"

The cerulean-eyed cheerleader chuckled at her mentor's verdict. "It's not _that _bad…"

"Oh, I beg to differ. You don't know what's in those God-awful shakes, Mar-"

"Protein and the essential and additional vitamins I'll need to survive through the Cheerios?" Marley sneered in reply. "Gimme." The Latina girl let the shake out of her grasp, taking a long swig of her coffee to clear the taste away.

"Uh, ladies, no outside beverages in the Lima Bean," a pimple-infested teenage worker echoed apprehensively upon approaching the two girls, who sat down on a small table in the café. The squawky teenager then turned to Marley, who batted her eyelashes at him. The boy's next response was a simple "Never mind" as he giggled and sniggered, sauntering off in his nervous state, cheeks reddening.

Santana didn't hesitate to roll her eyes. "Ugh, boys. So _disgusting_. It's people like Mr Chuckles over there that make me relieved that my lady loins don't operate that way." She reclined back into her chair, sipping her coffee. "And aren't you forgetting you have a _boyfriend_, Rose?"

"Oh, please." Marley chuckled as she sipped on her shake. "That wasn't anything that he should be afraid of. I love Ryder, and he loves me."

"Alright, Mar. Enough with the sappy stuff – you've already sucked the life out of me with your nauseating account on the events of your junior year." Santana spoke uninterestedly, inspecting her nails. The two had been at the Lima Bean long enough already for Marley to tell her everything about last year, catching her up on every little detail – despite the older girl's current emotions, she listened intently and interrupted where necessary along with every inch of the storyline. In return, the brown-eyed girl had told her all the details on her adventures since graduation, focusing particularly on the events happening within her college in New York City. "But I will admit, you and Four-Eyes-Donkey-Teeth are adorable."

"And I will look past the malicious overtones of that comment and say thank you." Marley grinned in return.

There was a moment's silence – a rare occurrence between the girls – as Marley sipped on her protein shake and Santana considered the next lead to the conversation. Another item to add onto the long list of things the two girls had in common, was their gossipy and flirtatious nature, so it came as no surprise that the 20-year-old was growing tired of their PG conversation.

"Okay, let's skip all of the fluffy, goody-goody feelings that I have now discovered you have… and let's talk about the saucy stuff."

Marley paused mid-sip and slowly lowered her drink. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Mar, come on. How is he?"

"How is he… what?" The brunette insisted, her face threatening to turn red.

"Do I really have to spell it out for you, honey?" Santana spoke nonchalantly, while Marley's eyes never strayed from the girl. With a magnificent sigh and a roll of her eyes, the brown-eyed girl spoke again, arching one eyebrow. "How is Care Bear… in the sack?"

The complete opposite to how the girl would have reacted a year ago, Marley began blushing violently and giggling. "You're… I…"

"Wow, he's really that good-?"

"I. Um." Were Marley's next stutters as her eyes darted from side to side once, then flickered down to the disorientated tassels on her Cheerios skirt.

Santana's face stiffened. "I totally saw that look. What's going on?"

"We haven't done it yet, okay?" Marley blurted out. "We haven't had sex yet."

"What?" Santana howled in surprise, her eyebrows narrowing.

The cheerleader sighed and prepared herself for another row of stutters. "We're- I'm-… he's not ready yet. And, surprise surprise, I actually care about this one, so… we're taking it slow."

Unfortunately, the older girl couldn't help the cackle that erupted through her mouth as she threw her head back. With every laugh, Marley's face grew more and more crimson, keeping her mouth clenched shut as she tried to mask her feelings by taking another swig of protein shake. She inwardly scolded herself. Was this all she had become - a girl who wore her heart on her sleeve?

Once she had calmed down at last, Santana looked at Marley and finally saw the damage she had done. "Jesus, you're the same colour as your uniform…" Santana observed and, as Marley's eyes cast downwards, the girl sunk back in her chair. "Crap, you're actually serious. I'm _so _sorry…"

"Hey," Marley tried to giggle the fiasco off. "It's okay, seriously. I know I've changed a lot since you last saw me, but… it's for the best, I promise."

"I know it is. Sorry." Her friend insisted. "So… Four Eyes really isn't ready?"

"Um, can we change the subject, please?" Marley averted, taking another sip from her shake.

And with a final eyebrow raise and a smirk, Santana obliged.

* * *

**Second chapter is done! I hope you liked this one. As always, reviews are most welcome ;)**

**Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MELISSA BENOIST! My inspiration :') and omg she FAVOURITED MY TWEET ABOUT WISHING HER A HAPPY BIRTHDAY. I WAS TREMBLING. NO JOKE.**

**For those of you who are interested, or not… my Twitter is: bethha_ :-)**

**Until next time, **

**Beth :-)**


	3. The Competition

**Here's chapter 3 aka the Sectionals chapter!**

**For the visual aspect of things, the outfits are Season 4's Sectionals ones – the black and gold dresses and suits. I loved them so much and they're honestly my favourite outfits that the NDs have ever worn, so of course I had to introduce them in here. Enjoy :-)**

* * *

Marley tried to steady her shaking hands as she gazed into her lap during the turbulent bus drive to Carmel High School, nerves beginning to take over, but, alas, nothing worked to calm her. It didn't matter how many times she repeated dance moves or song lyrics or reassuring words over in her preoccupied brain, the queasy feeling never strayed from her stomach, pumping through her veins, only loudening the dancing voices which frantically yelled over each other in panic inside her head. She groaned inwardly, hitting her head against the cool glass window of the bus and securing her coat further around her body at the subsequent chill that erupted down her spine.

Her shiver was not unseen by Ryder. He sat next to her on the bus, contacts replacing his glasses in preparation for the event about to take place at Carmel High. He was nervous, to say the least – memories of the last time he had performed, at Nationals, were occupying his thoughts - but she had a right to be just as nervous. He knew how it felt to have everyone resting their hopes on you. It was him last time, with his solo at Nationals, and now it was her – at her first show choir competition – and she was the main attraction after their 11th place failure in LA. It was only Sectionals, but it was crucial at this point, and everyone relied on her to give them energy; to get through this round and have a shot at redeeming themselves at Nationals.

Her happiness was always priority, and even if he made her just a little bit happier than she was, he would consider that to be better than nothing at all. It was for this reason that the seconds she was sad were agonising, and something needed to be done, so he did the first thing he could conjure up in his mind: he reached for one of her cold pale hands, previously resting in her lap, and took it into his large ones, instantly warming it up.

At the touch of warmth, Marley lifted her head off the glass window and turned to him, giggling nervously. She knew what he was doing. Usually, at times like these, it would have lifted her spirits tremendously – now, though, it was a different matter.

Sensing her still-heavy spirits, his mind compelled him to say something to sooth her more. "Please know that there isn't any pressure on you. It may seem like we're a bunch of weird geeks who want nothing more than a Nationals trophy, but if you're not comfortable or you mess up, we're not going to eat you alive." He joked, chuckling, hoping she would do the same. She did, though not as relaxed as he would have hoped. "You're not going to screw up anyway. I mean, just think about what happened on Tuesday – you were _flawless_. And I don't have a single doubt that you will do the same here."

The Tuesday that had just passed marked the success of the Cheerios in _their _Sectionals championship. Of course, with Coach Sue as their leader, no one expected any less – nonetheless, Ryder had still gushed about it non-stop to make Marley more confident and to prove that she was more than capable of securing another Sectionals trophy. Marley was still to be convinced.

"Yeah, yeah… sorry. I guess I just need to focus." She reassured herself more than reassuring Ryder, nodding her head hurriedly to confirm some sort of satisfaction before plastering on a winning smile and looking Ryder in the eyes – she always was a good actress, and that came in handy now when she was this ridiculously vulnerable. Marley had cheered on McKinley when they went against Carmel High in sports games, but now, she was actually _competing. _That, alone, terrified her.

* * *

With only a minute to go until their performance, Marley sat at the wing of the stage, nibbling on her lip after the club's warm up and show circle; she couldn't bear the seconds ticking away. Seemingly, it was obvious, as Ryder stopped his conversation with Unique to check on her, and kneeled down in front of her in dismay of her despondency.

"Marley, baby, you're gonna be fine-"

"But fine isn't good enough… it has to be _perfect._" Marley stuttered, then rolled her eyes. "Jesus, I haven't been this nervous for anything since my first Cheerios competition."

"You _will _be perfect, Marls. I know you will, and you always are. You're gonna destroy this." Ryder soothed as he looked into her eyes. "You said this is one of your favourite songs, right? And you could do it in your sleep?" To this, Marley nodded violently, as if trying to assure herself rather than to answer Ryder's question. "Then you'll do an amazing job. I've seen it, Mar. The dance moves are to a T, the singing is on point… you just need to embrace it and be confident. Can you do that for me?"

After a while, Marley bit her lip, just looking into his eyes, then gave a firm nod. "Yeah, yeah, I can do that."

Ryder grinned. "Good." With that, he leaned forward and lifted himself up from his knees to give Marley a reassuring, loving kiss on the lips that lasted several seconds, only cut short due to the overhead speaker as the event's commentator spoke animatedly and boomed across the area. Marley instantly looked at Ryder with a panicked expression etched across her face. "Ry…" She whimpered.

"Just remember what I said, okay?" Ryder cooed as he led her off her seat by her hands, which he was still grasping. "You look beautiful, and you're going to be amazing. Good luck, okay?"

"Okay." Marley sighed, then smiled and took her place by the wing, reluctantly letting go of her boyfriend's hands. "Thank you, Ry. So much."

"No problem." Ryder smiled warmly as he backed away from the wings, letting the girls of the group in front of him for their number. "Don't be scared, remember! Just embrace and enjoy it!"

"I'll try!" Marley giggled, before hearing Mr Schue shush everyone and begin to count the girls into their cue.

As the old-sounding string instruments that played a starring role in the beginning of the introduction boomed through the auditorium, the New Direction girls – Tina, Marley, Sugar, Katie and Unique – entered from both sides of the stage, hands on hips, strutting further onto the stage with the music. When they finally assembled, two girls each were at either side of Marley, who was in the middle, forming a diamond shape in the centre of the stage on the various steps. As the violin part ended, the girls settled in their spots with their heads down. The drum hit, that powerful first time. Their heads snapped up. As the guitar and drums lead the intro, the girls began separating further, doing simple yet exciting choreography to the music in sync as Marley walked down to the front of the stage, acting nonchalant, inspecting her nails with a hand on her hip, before the singing part began and she joined in with the energetic choreography as she began to sing with attitude.

_I'm in the business of misery,_

_Let's take it from the top._

_She's got a body like an hourglass, it's ticking like a clock._

_It's a matter of time before we all run out,_

_When I thought he was mine she caught him by the mouth._

_I waited eight long months,_

_She finally set him free._

_I told him I couldn't lie he was the only one for me._

_Two weeks we caught on fire,_

_She's got it out for me,_

_But I wear the biggest smile._

_Whoa, I never meant to brag,_

_But I got him where I want him now._

Now in a line across the stage, facing the right, the girls sank down to their knees whilst fanning themselves with their left hand, adding to the tenaciousness and vivacity of the routine.

_Whoa, it was never my intention to brag_

_To steal it all away from you now._

As the girls body-rolled back up, they moved with the hard drum in sync – from Marley, no one expected any less.

_But God does it feel so good,_

_'Cause I got him where I want him now._

_And if you could then you know you would._

_'Cause God it just feels so..._

_It just feels so good._

A simple sashay of hips from side to side in unison - to the guitar riff and drum beat - at the end of the small introduction to the second verse was all it took before they moved on to different, equally electrifying choreography.

_Second chances they don't ever matter, people never change._

_Once a whore you're nothing more, I'm sorry, that'll never change._

A shrewd lyric, and to it, Marley faked innocence within her dance, slightly different to the other girls.

_And about forgiveness, we're both supposed to have exchanged._

_I'm sorry honey, but I passed it up, now look this way._

With that, the blue-eyed girl pointed to the other side of the stage, where the other New Direction girls were, dancing and donating their vocals to the background. As she continued singing, she walked over to join them.

_Well there's a million other girls who do it just like you._

_Looking as innocent as possible to get to who,_

_They want and what they like, it's easy if you do it right._

_Well I refuse, I refuse, I refuse!_

_Whoa, I never meant to brag_

_But I got him where I want him now._

_Whoa, it was never my intention to brag_

_To steal it all away from you now._

_But God does it feel so good,_

_'Cause I got him where I want him right now._

_And if you could then you know you would._

_'Cause God it just feels so..._

After ending her high note and hearing the wolf-whistles of the crowd, she walked slowly during the brief, calm moment to her next position on the stage, near to the right wing. And there he was, beaming at her performance albeit slightly nervously, but it gave her a warm, fresh feeling in her stomach. He was endlessly fascinating. That thought alone was enough for her to break character just for a second and grin uncontrollably as she tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear, soon biting her lip, trying to regain composure as she sang the next lines sweetly.

_It just feels so good._

Simple hand actions were all that accompanied the four lines before the climax of the song, sashaying hips and singing winning harmonies as the girls danced together in perfect unison. All Marley could think of now was the dreaded instrumental section.

_I watched his wildest dreams come true_

_Not one of them involving you_

_Just watch my wildest dreams come true_

_Not one of them involving..._

As the instrumental hit, the girls danced with more complex choreography which, thanks to the torturous dance rehearsals, they all executed perfectly. Marley swung her hips as she walked to the left of the stage, before she stood in her position, facing the wing. Feet shoulder width apart, heart pumping, she was ready.

As the guitar part climaxed, she took a deep breath before flipping herself over onto her palms, using her handstand as a boost to flip herself back over, onto her feet. She repeated the action a second time, and on the third flip, she missed out the hand boost, flipping straight back onto her feet - all by the end of the instrumental part. She sang with an extra, much-needed boost of energy courtesy of her present performance rush.

_Whoa, I never meant to brag_

_But I got him where I want him now._

_Whoa, I never meant to brag_

_But I got him where I want him now._

_Whoa, it was never my intention to brag_

_To steal it all away from you now._

_But God does it feel so good,_

_'Cause I got him where I want him now._

_And if you could then you know you would._

_'Cause God it just feels so..._

The girls walked into the centre, reforming the diamond shape from the very beginning of the song, with Marley in the middle.

_It just feels so good._

Looking down as the last drum beat hit, hands secured behind their backs as cheers erupted from the audience, causing Marley to crack a smile as she tried to get her breathing back to normal. She rearranged her left hand into a thumbs up behind her back; the girls behind her noticed, and stifled a small chuckle which wasn't noticeable to the crowd. It was then that the remaining members of the New Directions – the boys – united with the girls on the stage, ready to move on with the remaining two songs of their set.

* * *

Almost two hours later, and the cerulean eyed teenager was stuck. She had come to an impasse, and couldn't quite decide on two particular events.

Which was better: winning Sectionals, or the two minute long hug from Ryder which followed immediately after?

Of course, the stereotypical holding up of the trophy, cheering, jumping up and down and hugging every member individually took place as soon as _"from McKinley High School, the New Directions!"_ was called out. Afterwards, though, when the show choirs had exited the stage, Ryder caught up with her again, whispering a simple "I told you that you could do it" amongst all the cheers and songs that bellowed through the halls as the group made their way into one of the classrooms of the high school which acted as their green room. It was those 8 words, along with a soft kiss planted on her cheek, which triggered the hug the minute they arrived in the classroom.

"Thank you." Marley would whisper into his shoulder occasionally.

"Don't thank me, it was all you." Ryder would chuckle back, kissing her head.

And for two minutes straight, that was how they stayed – him stroking her back and waist, her giving him comfort with her body, puffing out the calmest breaths there ever were against his black button-up shirt and waistcoat, and it was serene; it was tranquil, and after weeks of stressing, it was what they needed. So, when the time came for the two to pull away, it was an act of reluctance, but their embrace was not completely over.

"Hey," The chestnut-haired boy spoke softly into the air between them, causing Marley's eyes to flicker up towards him. With false eyelashes now in place, her ocean-blue eyes were even more captivating. With her attention gained, he edged towards her with one arm still encompassing her at the waist as he moved his other hand up, caressing her cheek with his thumb, leaning closer and closer until their lips connected softly. Marley, upon reciprocating the gesture, placed her hands on his chest as the pit of her stomach gained a fluttering sensation – the duration of the kiss was long, but not as long as the second one which the brunette initiated afterwards.

"We should… uh…" Marley said in a hushed manner once the second kiss had ended, seemingly in some sort of hypnotic trance at how her hands moved up and down his waistcoat. "…Get back to… the thing…" she finally spoke as her eyes fluttered back up to focus on him, biting her lip as she broke out into a grin, triggering Ryder to match her expression. Apparently, though, the post-euphoria was premature, because it wasn't until after two more kisses that Marley finally lead Ryder by the hand into the middle of the classroom, where all other New Direction members were celebrating and taking turns holding the trophy. This was considered a privilege by the brunette. Despite having been head cheerleader, even the highest role of the Cheerios was in no position to even lay a finger on a trophy that the squad won – Coach Sue would immediately take them to be re-polished and re-buffed, before finally earning a spot in her cabinet, which remained untouched by everyone apart from the Coach herself. It was yet another reason why, to Marley, Sectionals felt like one of the biggest achievements of her life to date.

* * *

"First things first, congratulations!" Mr Schue chuckled throughout the choir room, causing cheers as he gestured to the Sectionals trophy, now standing proudly in the room's glass cabinet for all eyes to see. "I must say, there was no question – the score sheets revealed that you guys rocketed ahead of the others – and that is a huge success! Hats off, guys. I mean it." He then spoke sincerely, triggering a reassuring squeeze of Ryder's hand, courtesy of Marley Rose. The special treatment she had been getting over the past few days was spoiling her, yet making her feel more adored with every second; frankly, she adored it.

Once the group had settled down, Mr Schue plucked the cap from the board pen and moved to the whiteboard, about to write something, when a knock silenced the room.

"Am I interrupting?" An Indian accent echoed through the room, initiating Mr Schue to stifle a chuckle.

"Of course not, Principle Figgins. Come in."

"I just wanted to stop by and congratulate you all on your fantastic win at Sectionals." Principle Figgins said animatedly, booming through the room. "I have a little treat for you in return." As soon as this was said, an ocean of excited whispers erupted throughout the teenagers as they drum rolled onto their laps, excitedly, Marley even letting go of Ryder's hand for a brief moment so she could join in. "Well, I feel that your rocketing success would simply not go unnoticed by more people, so… you will be performing your set, costumes and all, to the entire student body, this Friday… I couldn't resist giving you the opportunity, seeing as more people should know how talented you are. See you all on Friday." With that, he was gone.

The choir room exploded with excitement and passionate chatter about the upcoming event that was just confirmed, each indulging in compliments and talkativeness before Mr Schue could stall the meeting no longer, and they would actually have to prepare something.

All except one.

Instead, the blue-eyed teenager sat motionlessly, staring helplessly into the distance with a look of panic, trying to comprehend everything that had taken place within the space of about 45 seconds. It was uncalled-for; it was meaningless to her – and performing with the _Glee Club _and her _new boyfriend _in front of the entire school, including all of the people who torment her? It was terrifying. Her heart dropped into her stomach, making her feel ten tonnes heavier as all of the people around her continued celebrating, even singing and dancing a bit in their sets while she sat as motionless and as cold as stone.

* * *

**Dun dun duuuuuun… more drama to come next chapter. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, though, and please review if you can spare a few seconds!**

**Of course the song is **_**Misery Business **_**by Paramore… you probably could have guessed it would be a song by them, knowing me…**

**Sorry for any errors – GCSEs are both physically and mentally draining, but I finished my first piece of English Language coursework so it's okayyy. And sorry that this wasn't my best chapter, along with everything else, I have a severe case of writer's block but wanted to get this out so that the timing was parallel-ish to real life. **

**Until next time,**

**-Beth :-)**


	4. The Consequence

**Back with chapter 4! Sorry if this chapter is a bit shorter, but a lot happens.**

* * *

"Uh, can I talk to you for a second, Mar?"

The girl in question, although trying to hold back vomiting due to her nervous state, smiled warmly upon hearing that voice. "Of course. What is it?" Saying these words, Marley put down her mascara brush and swivelled around in her seat, where she had been nervously applying her makeup with a quivering hand, and looked up at Katie. Upon seeing the blonde's anxious expression, Marley's face became more concerned. "Sweetie, don't worry. This is an opportunity for the school to finally see and appreciate your talent-"

"It's not that." Katie instantly dismissed.

"Oh…" Marley's eyes widened. "What is it?"

"I… I just… I keep having these thoughts… like, I know you are totally a friend. Honestly one of my best ones…"

"Same here, Katie." Marley chimed in with a grin as she clasped one of Katie's hands in hers supportively.

"Yeah," Katie breathed with a smile, although Marley could still see something was up. "But, I don't know… I've been having these thoughts lately, and I've been seeing the connections and… I…" The blonde sighed heavily before finally plucking up the courage to ask her question. "Is _Misery Business _about me?"

Marley was taken aback. "W-Why would you think that?"

"I don't- I… I dated Ryder about the time you hit rock bottom, and maybe you thought that I stole him away from you and all that, but you finally have him and… it was _your _song choice, so I didn't know if it was just a coincidence that those were the lyrics or if you were being passive aggressive, or…" Katie trailed off, looking in every direction possible.

"What? No… no, no, no. I picked the song because I love it, and I frankly think I could kick ass with it at Sectionals!" Marley giggled, stifling a small chuckle from between Katie's lips. "I didn't pick the song because of you at all, Katie… When you and Ryder were dating, it hurt, obviously, but… I wasn't mad at you at all! I was madder at myself. Please don't think the song is about you, sweetie. Please, please don't. I see you as an amazing friend, and I'm actually so happy and glad that you're cool with all of this." Marley grinned.

"Okay… sorry, I have a habit of jumping to conclusions… it's- I… I just-"

"Hey." Marley said calmly to get Katie's attention and snap her out of her rambling. It worked. "It's okay. I do that too. And I don't blame you or hate you for thinking it at all. So, are you okay? I mean… are we still cool?"

"Definitely. Thanks, Mar."

"Good." The blue-eyed girl beamed. "Then let's go kill this set."

"Are _you _okay?" Katie asked after a few seconds. "I saw your face when Figgins came and told us about performing… are you scared that your old friends are gonna judge you or something?"

"Uh, to be completely honest… absolutely." Marley nibbled on her lip. "I mean, I don't want them to have this control over me anymore, and what happened last year is none of their business, and I know people who have gotten over everything but… I also know people who are just looking for a reason to bully me." Marley looked down and composed herself, trying to get her complexion (which had transformed into a fearful look in seconds) back to a neutral expression. Having done this, she looked back up to a concerned Katie and plastered a smile back on her face. "But I'll be okay. I promise. Now, I think it's time we join the other members for another awful, cheesy, nauseating _'show circle'_." Marley used air quotes on the last two words as her friend giggled in reply, pulling Marley off her chair to go and find the other members of the New Directions.

The brunette's eyes, threatening to gloss over at the thought of the events about to take place on stage, landed on her boyfriend and his landed on hers, connecting instantly. Upon reading her expression as a nervous and dejected one, he raised his eyebrows and mouthed: "Are you okay?"

Marley took a while before answering with a quick nod, although her facial features said otherwise. She still looked frightened as hell – even more frightened than when they were about to perform their set at Sectionals, earlier that week. She looked horrified at what was about to take place. With that thought in mind, he made his way around the circle that was forming, over to where the brunette was standing. Without saying anything, Ryder encircled his arms around Marley and gave her one of his signature bear hugs, which she reciprocated in seconds, winding her arms around his back and leaning her head on his shoulder, on her tiptoes. Ryder felt her quiver and whispered things into her hair to comfort her. When that didn't help, he pulled away and looked her in the eyes, placing his palms at both sides of her face and caressing her cheeks with his thumbs.

"Shh, shhh… don't cry, Mar. Tina would kill you if you ruined your makeup." Ryder joked with a small smile, which Marley tried – and failed – to return. Ryder sighed before whispering. "Look at me." And, alas, now that he was wearing contacts, it was even harder to escape his stare; she focused on his brown-eyed gaze, getting lost in it for seconds. "They can't touch us, Mar. Don't let them get to us. If they see us break, it'll just be another thing for them to tear at. And I don't want them to tear you – to tear _us _– apart. And they won't. Because we're stronger and more mature than they are, remember?" The girl looked from his right eye to his left, before sighing and looking down. Ever since the incident happened last year, her confidence had not quite risen back completely from its plummet. Ryder lowered a finger to her chin and pushed upwards softly, driving her to look back at him, before continuing. "You're so talented. And this event gives us an opportunity to show them just how talented you are; how you've changed into someone who's better. And I know there's a lot of pressure on you right now, and I'm not denying that… but… God, I'm gonna sound like Mr Schue when I say this…" That earned a sad little giggle from between Marley's lips as she listened to him, never straying from his eyes. "Use all this negative energy, all of this anger for what they did to you, all of this hate and worry, and channel it. Channel it into _Misery Business_, channel it into the rest of the set. Because you. Are. Unstoppable." Ryder finished his speech, looking into her eyes with a look of reassurance and promise, sealing everything he had said with a forehead kiss, as his lips moulded around a spot on her soft, pale temple. Marley closed her eyes and let out a shaky sigh, before biting her lip.

"Show circle time!" A member of the New Directions with long, brown dreadlocks – Joe, Marley recalled - hollered, causing everyone to rush more into the circle, making it whole.

"Ugh, I hate these damn things." Marley rolled her eyes, earning a chuckle from Ryder, who placed an arm around her waist as everyone donated a hand into the middle of the circle.

"_Use all this negative energy and channel it…" _Marley thought to herself, mimicking Ryder's words as she stretched her left arm into the circle. And suddenly, all the worry – the voices in her head telling her she would mess up the backflip, or hit an off note, or mess up a dance move – evaporated from the pit of her stomach and turned to dust. It was all still very much there, but now, as she took her place at the wings of the stage after the group's pre-show ritual, it was slightly easier to ignore.

* * *

Marley traipsed down the hallways with an uncontrollable grin on her face that afternoon. As she strutted down the halls, she reminisced how things had gone since the New Directions performed their Sectionals set in front of the whole school. No one had teased her, or anyone in Glee Club for that matter, and frankly? It felt amazing. Like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders and now she could walk with her head high, after all these weeks of anxiousness. Maybe it was just her being naïve and ignoring any whispers behind her back, but she sure hoped not and it didn't really seem that way at all.

It was the end of the day. Marley's fellow students looked at her and waved or smiled politely as they made their way back home; the brunette reciprocated. She certainly wasn't the most popular girl in the school, but she was definitely less timid and could finally relax. Besides, popularity was becoming a smaller and smaller part of her life… that's what she was trying to make of it, anyway.

Looking around her, witnessing the now-empty hallways, she contentedly put her books back in her locker after twisting in the combination, and, in turn, took out ones she would need for homework tonight, if she managed to do any at all after Ryder had dropped her back at her house this evening… and that thought made her grin impossibly wider. It was a Friday, therefore it was her and Ryder's date night; it had been that way since the beginning of their relationship. Yet another reason why this day could not get any better – or, any day for that matter. Because every day meant another occasion to be with the most charming, sweet, considerate, funny, polite, fascinating-

"Nice performance, Garbage Can." Came the sneer of a teenage boy, followed by the rustle of fabric, triggering Marley to surreptitiously peer around from behind her locker, expecting to see some jock waiting to slushie her in the face. Nothing. Marley assumed the voice must be coming from around the corner.

"I bet that good for nothing Cheerio was real proud of you." Arose another voice, and Marley shuddered at the harsh words. She recognised the voice slightly, as she thought she might have done with the other male voice. Then, her ears were violated once again by the sound that she knew instantly – the slam of a locker. Or, rather, something slamming _against_ a locker. "….Oh, and herself, for that matter," The voice continued to growl at the victim, "now that _she's _accepted your idiot group of misfits."

A cry bellowed through the hallway, accompanied by the sound of knuckles hitting skin.

The tormenters didn't stop there. Marley instantly felt a deeply unpleasant feeling sink down to the pit of her stomach as she heard several grunts coming from the target of the jocks, accompanied by the persistent sounds of banging and slapping.

"Please, guys, I never did anything to you." The voice of the victim rose into the brutal conversation in between groans, sounding unintentionally like a whimper, causing his bullies to guffaw. Marley tried to discover the source of all the voices, when something travelled to her ear canal and caused her to instantly drop the books she was cradling and abandon her locker completely:

"No, but your precious little girlfriend did. Didn't she, Four Eyes?" The third voice said in a rough tone.

That was all it took to connect the dots for Marley. She rushed around the corner and found a horrific scene: her boyfriend on the floor, back against the lockers, as three men with a letterman jacket each surrounded him, kicking, punching. Of course she was naïve. Maybe there were no insults thrown at her, because they were instead all pointed at _him_. Suddenly, the unpleasant feeling in her stomach was replaced with white hot anger as she clenched her jaw, nostrils flaring, eyes blazing. She began storming down the corridor, closer to the scene and unafraid.

"Hey!" She yelled, now just a meter away from everything that was happening, causing the four to look at her. She was small compared to the rest of them, but with her hands on her hips, she looked menacing nonetheless. The three tormenters began to smirk, thinking they could easily overpower her, but rather than wasting even a second talking, she started fighting immediately, socking the closest jock to her in the eye and not even watching him as he stepped back and cursed loudly. Instead, she made her way to the second one and punched him in the nose before using both her palms to push him into the locker opposite; the third jock was harder to overcome, but with a knee to his groin, he sunk down to his knees with a yelp. The brunette stood for a second, pleased with her work and breathless, but soon remembered the reason why the anger had overcome her in the first place. She turned to her right, and there he was – her boyfriend, lying there, looking up at her with an impressed look on his face, though more of his expression told her that he was still in great pain. His chest rose irregularly, his wheezes and heavy breaths echoing throughout the hallway.

Marley stepped closer to him before kneeling down on his level, centimetres away from his face. She looked at him, distraught, and moved her hand to caress his cheek. "Ry…"

The chestnut-haired boy replied with a low growl of protest when Marley's thumb pressed lightly over a patch of skin that was starting to bruise. Marley winced and drew her hand back, instead focusing on the damage done to him: his nose was bleeding, a bruise peppered his right jaw, a cut on the left side of his forehead was obvious - as well as one on his right cheek - and his lip was beginning to swell up, probably due to thrown punches. The skin surrounding his right eye, as well as its eyelid, was purple. Her eyebrows knit together, wondering where his glasses were; he read her expression instantaneously and pointed down the corridor with exhaustion. There lay the glasses, strewn on the floor further down the hallway, chipped.

The brunette looked at her boyfriend with pure sorrow as he looked weakly back up at her, and found herself swallowing down a lump that was now present in her throat, blinking back the tears that had finally arisen to her eyes. Why would someone do that to Ryder? "Let's go back to your place, okay? I'll drive. We can get you cleaned up there."

Ryder shook his head drowsily in reply. "Nuh… Mom's there. She'll talk. And I want your first official meeting with my parents to be a brighter occasion than this." Ryder chuckled as he slurred the words carelessly together, and Marley smiled for a moment, admiring his ability to lighten the mood even at the worst of times.

"Okay, let's go to mine instead." Marley soothed, to which Ryder nodded sluggishly.

"Use my car." The boy mumbled through swollen lips.

"Alright. But I'm driving, okay?" Marley insisted in a soft voice, brushing a bit of his floppy side fringe out of his eyes.

"Mhmhhph." Ryder responded. Marley took that as a yes – even if it wasn't, she was going to drive him either way.

Regardless of a few winces as Marley held his bruised arms to help him up, the boy limped down the hallways while helplessly leaning on his girlfriend, nonetheless standing surprisingly well. However, Ryder stopped the both of them as his gaze sunk to the floor, landing on his glasses. He was considering if they were broken for good or maybe they could still be saved. With that thought in mind, he keeled over with a grunt, extending his hand, trying to pick them up - nevertheless, kneeling down was something very painful to do at that moment in time, so Marley gingerly placed a hand on his shoulder and brought him back up.

"Let _me_." Marley cooed as she crouched down and retrieved the glasses, before standing directly in front of her boyfriend. Opening them up, the cerulean eyed teenager carefully slid them back onto his face, smiling sadly at the obvious mark down the right lens before standing at the boy's side again, lifting his left arm over her shoulders to support him as he began shuffling along with her helplessly. Luckily, Marley was strong, and kept him steady until she eased him into the passenger seat of his car.

Once she got into the driver's seat of his car, she couldn't help the tears that streamed down her face. Hastily wiping them away with a sniff, hoping that he wouldn't see her cry, she took out the key he had sloppily fished out of his pocket and given to her, and placed it in the ignition. She had to stay strong for him. It was the least she could do, after she had gotten him into this horrible mess.

* * *

**Yeah, sorry about that. I had that planned since I began the story… your faith in me will hopefully be restored in the next chapter, as it's short but sweet, and involves a flashback.**

**Please review if you can, I'd really appreciate feedback!**

**Until next time,**

**Beth :-)**


	5. The Healing

**Sorry this chapter is a bit shorter, but it is packed with some fluffy stuff to even out all the angst (hopefully).**

* * *

"Here, I think this stuff will stop your cuts from getting infected…" The girl spoke softly, extremely contradictory to her usual tone and manner. The circumstances were different; it was the event that had triggered this change in the first place. As she mumbled the words, she took silent steps over towards the Rose's granite kitchen island, which stood proudly in the middle of the well-lit kitchen – or, what would _usually _be well-lit. Of course, the weather had wanted to adapt to the rather gloomy situations and – combined with the fact that it was November – it was dark, despite the time being only 4 or 5 in the afternoon. The injured teenager himself sat on this shiny kitchen worktop, as commanded by his girlfriend, who had now taken the position of a nurse in the hopes that she could make up for the mistakes of that day with her limited healing abilities. The nurse herself carried a soft cloth dabbed with some antiseptic that she had found in the medicine cabinet, and had later prayed would contribute to the healing of her boyfriend's wounds.

And, boy, was he in a state. His face was bruised and cut, his clothes sloppily hanging onto his frame as he looked dully at the floor. Given any other circumstance, he would try and squeeze his eyes shut whenever he felt pain, but now, the black eye and general soreness of his muscles prevented him from doing that; he had nothing else to do, so he just stared at the shiny, cream tiles that graced the kitchen's floor.

Upon reaching Ryder, Marley gingerly hooked a finger underneath his chin and lifted his face up, so that she could take a better look at where he needed the disinfectant. Slowly but surely, she began dabbing the sterilised cloth to his cuts, trying to work past the inevitable winces which hissed through his mouth at the sting, whispering apologies time and time again. She is guiltier than ever. She knows that it was her that got him into this position.

Desperately searching for something that might put that crooked half-smile on his face again, or at least deduct some of the pain, she found herself talking. "Listen," but, alas, she couldn't think of something that was unrelated to the topic, so instead, she spoke her feelings: "I don't ever want to get you into messes like this ever again. You didn't deserve one part of it… I feel awful, Ryder. It was all my fault."

The brunette should have known that the comment wouldn't get past Ryder in a heartbeat, and he was shushing her as soon as she finished her sentence, lifting his head up more whilst she still worked on his wounds. "It's not your fault, Marley. Those people who inconsiderately disrespected our relationship – it's _their _fault."

"Yeah…" Marley breathed. "But it's still mine as well. They wouldn't have targeted you in the first place if I hadn't gone and screwed them all over in junior year." She spoke in a scolding voice near the end, not towards Ryder, but towards herself. She was too naïve in thinking that her countless flings had no consequences afterwards, and it was even worse now that she had finally settled down with someone. "They're all my exes – they want to destroy my happiness no matter who I'm dating."

Her words caused a sad smile to form from Ryder's lips and a steady exhale from between them, hoping that the action alone would comfort her, seeing as his body was restricted. It was an action that she returned as she continued to dab at his injured skin, but it did almost nothing to heal her feelings.

"Ryder…" She spoke softly, having lapsed into silence for a few more minutes, giving her a lot of time to think and consider her mistakes. She looked at him, setting the cloth down on the counter for a moment, thinking about how she was going to say what she needed to. "I hate hurting you…"

"I'm not hurt-" The boy tried to convince her, to no use as she interrupted.

"Yes, you are." She insisted, trying to force the tears that were quickly forming to subside. "I feel like if we keep going on with this, all they'll do is just keep tearing us down and," she composed herself with a short breath, "all I care about is you, and I don't want you to hurt anymore, and maybe this is too much…" she tried to compose herself with a breath again, but instead it came out as a shaky one, so she continued: "…too much to continue."

It was out in the open. It was suggested. As it was released into the atmosphere, Ryder's blood turned cold and his jaw clenched. Finally, he asked: "Is… is that what you want?"

"Of course it's not what I want." Marley chuckled humourlessly. "I just want you to be protected, because _that's_ all I want." She bit her lip as tears glossed over her eyes for the third time that day, looking at him and trying to reassure him by running her hand up and down his thigh.

Ryder looked at her and sighed heavily, before sitting up more on the worktop and looking her in the eyes. "We agreed that this was going to be hard, Marls. I mean, look at us… look-… look at me! But we promised each other that we would try to stay strong, even when it got hard, like this. Are you still keeping your promise to me?"

"Yes… of course…" Marley cooed.

"Good. Because I am too." Ryder managed a small smile.

It was then that Marley regretted everything about what she had said, and tried to fix it with a poorly constructed apology. "I'm so sorry that I doubted us for a second, Ry." Marley said after a while. "I just… I don't want to hurt you, and I don't want _them_ to hurt you…"

"Well, then we have to show them that they can't do that. That our relationship is too strong for them to break." He said simply.

"Yeah," Marley breathed in agreement as she rested her head on his shoulder (one of the few places that wasn't bruised). "I love you, baby."

"I love you too." Ryder sighed, triggering Marley to press her lips softly against his, not too hard so that his swollen bottom lip would hurt, just right.

'I love you' wasn't something that was said often between the two of them, mainly because Marley was still trying to get to grips with the actual _feeling _of love; of actually _saying _the three words rather than just speaking them. Ryder didn't mind – he felt that the over-exaggeration and seemingly mandatory ritual of saying the three words at every opportunity was so mainstream that it was tearing the actual meaning from the words. It was for these reasons that the two settled for the ever-so-slightly more unconventional ways of expressing affection.

But, when they did say those three words, it was _always _as romantic as the first time.

* * *

_It was near the end of summer vacation, and the two were at Marley's house. The sun was just starting to set, and all the bugs were arriving in the sun's absence and landing, nipping at the two as they sat outside eating the Chinese food that they had previously ordered. They had spent the entire night laughing and messing around, being light-hearted, without any kind of density on them at all, and the outdoor lights that reflected onto the wooden patio in the back garden - looking out onto the luscious gardens that came as part of the Rose household - was the only light outside, apart from the slowly arriving stars that were gradually making an appearance in the kaleidoscope sky. The two had watched movies, played games, baked and even jokingly danced around in the dull kitchen light as it slowly began to get darker; they had spent the entire day together._

_Marley twisted her fork around in the cardboard Chinese food box, swirling around the last of her noodles and chicken. She wore a simple white shirt with patterned denim shorts that hit high up her thigh, with her silky, brunette tresses styled up in a messy bun. Ryder wore a blue plaid shirt with jeans. It was modest – no extra effort was needed between the two of them - and Marley's face only sported concealer and mascara with a touch of blush, thus confirming the unspoken modest dress code between them. Marley raised a forkful of the food to her mouth, before slight irritation became apparent on her hand._

"_Jesus, these bugs…" Marley murmured as she later cursed under her breath, clutching the back of her hand._

_Ryder pouted at his hurt girlfriend. "Here, how about this…" He quickly said – the boy hated whenever she was the slightest bit unhappy, and tried to alter her emotions the minute such an emotion arose. With the words said and the brunette's attention gained, he softly grasped the girl's bitten hand and kissed the small lump that the insect had left behind._

_Marley grinned. "Awww, you are the sweetest. And the cheesiest, but whatever." She teased._

"_Shhh," Ryder chastised playfully, still planting kisses on the girl's barely injured hand. "All better?"_

"_Definitely." The cheerleader nodded, causing Ryder to let go of her hand and place it back where it was previously, resting on the wooden table. A simple action, but it triggered an emotion deep inside Marley that was desperate for his touch against her skin again. "Uh, I think my other hand just got bitten too…" she said, nibbling on her bottom lip._

"_Okay," Ryder beamed, kissing her other hand with the same deliberate and soft actions as before. He released her hand. She wanted more. _

"…_And my cheek, Ry." Marley pouted, leaning closer. At this point, the brown-eyed boy understood her implication and sniggered slightly under his breath, moving his lips to her cheek nonetheless and planting a soft kiss against her right cheek that lasted seconds longer than the others. Marley grinned in response to his touch, and soon enough, Ryder found himself smirking as ideas arose into his mind. With equal pace, he kissed the spot diagonally left of his previous camp on her cheek, parallel to the top of her lips, but still gracing her cheek. After a few more seconds, he kissed downwards diagonally left once more, on the corner of her mouth. Marley's eyelids fluttered shut. Extracting his lips again, he finally arrived at Marley's lips and kissed them more passionately, but with the same slow, deliberate actions as before. The girl kissed back in an instant as her hands grasped his instantaneously, intertwining their fingers like the perfect jigsaw. The two stayed like that, kissing, absolutely still as a chill began to waft along with the summer night breeze, giving Marley even more goose bumps than she already had. Finally, after an abundance of long seconds, the two pulled away in unison, and the girl's eyes flickered open again slowly. Ryder sat there, looking at her with admiration from the small distance between them on the wooden bench._

_Ever since their first kiss, Marley had felt different. Like with every second it lasted, her stomach was filled further and further with butterflies until she was frightened that her stomach may explode – it was the nicest kind of butterflies ever imagined. Out of the countless guys she had dated in the past, he was, admittedly, the best kisser. In fact, it wasn't just the kisses that gave Marley butterflies – it was the way he cared so much about her, or the way his face lit up whenever he was happy, or the way his face fell into concern whenever she was sad, or the way he ran his hands up and down her waist and hips to sooth her when she got stressed, or the way he laughed. It was something she hadn't felt before – something she always tried to convince herself she had with the other guys, but knew deep down that she would never feel. _

_Love._

_And that was enough to send Marley blushing, looking down at their laps in a fluster._

"_Mar?" Ryder said, soon becoming deeply concerned. Marley looked up for a second, seeing his face: filled with apprehension, with care… and it reminded her of her new discovery. Her head drifted back down. "Mar, are you okay?" He said next, and she chose not to answer. How could she say anything now? When he saw that that didn't work, he sighed and tilted her chin upwards, though she still looked down. "Tell me what you're thinking."_

"_I'm thinking…" The blue-eyed girl said finally, but sighed and squirmed at the thought of saying those three words for the first time to anyone. After a few more seconds of unbearable silence, she finally plucked up the courage to say what she needed to. "I'm thinking… I love you."_

_There were a few seconds then, when she finally looked up at him, where it felt like years were passing before her eyes, waiting for his response. Panicking. Regretting. Self-loathing. _

_It was then that he answered. Not by any words, but by fixing his hands over hers even more, intertwining their fingers again and giving them a reassuring squeeze. He then spoke words that were loud enough for only her to hear. "And I'm thinking… I love you too."_

_Marley inwardly let out a sigh of relief as her eyes warmed to his, and her hands squeezed hearteningly back. They leaned closer to each other in sync, connecting their lips with passion and gentleness. When they pulled away, they simply whispered 'I love you's to each other, reciprocating the other person, before holding each other closely. They were the only two things in the word._

_Well… them, and the bugs._

* * *

When the two finally pulled away from their kiss, they simply looked at each other, blinking slowly and serenely. Marley bit her lip instinctively as her face scanned over his damaged one, her hands impulsively running up and down his chest soothingly as a healing mechanism.

"Are you okay?" Ryder asked, caring as ever, concerned. He knew what emotions came with every one of her expressions.

His question caused a small giggle to erupt from between the brunette's lips. "Why are you asking _me _that?"

"I don't know…" He smirked in turn, winding his arms around her waist and running his hands from waist to hip – an action constantly carried out by him to sooth her. "I know that face that you had."

The brunette's eyebrows knit together. "What face?"

"It doesn't matter." Ryder chuckled. "Are you okay?" He urged, hoping he'd get an answer – and a positive one.

The blue-eyed girl grinned as she still nibbled on her lower lip before nodding firmly. "I'm okay."

"Good." The boy spoke simply as he looked at her, impulsively leaning forward to capture their lips, ardently but quickly.

"I think Nurse Marley's done for the day… wanna watch a movie?" The girl in question suggested as Ryder leaped off the kitchen island in response, taking her hand as they walked to the Rose's living room.

* * *

**Yeah, I couldn't have too much angst for too long, could I? Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter – if you did (or if you didn't), please leave a review so I can get some feedback/constructive criticism/whatever, because you guys are awesome and I love hearing from you all!**

**-Beth :-)**


	6. The Bitter Winter

**Hello again! Here's another chapter. Just for the heads up, we're a bit ahead of time in the Regaining Repose Universe, as it'll tell you in the first sentence – it actually begins in the last week or so before the Christmas holidays, and then, later on in the story, a few days before Christmas itself. The ads are on TV, so I'm using that as an excuse… I mean, if the John Lewis advert is out, it **_**must **_**be the season to be jolly, right?**

**Hope you enjoy :-)**

* * *

Monday morning, first of December, and Ryder pulled up to school in his simple, silver car, ready for what was sure to be a wretched day. That weekend, he had slept round at Marley's on the couch on the Friday and had left Saturday morning, excusing himself with the subject of homework and his parents. His girlfriend had been very much sceptical, and her caring attitude towards him never ceased; for that, he was grateful – he just hoped that she wouldn't continue to take what happened out on herself. If anything, it was _his_ fault – or, at least, that's what he thought – because he was in the way of the jocks. Ryder knew that Marley kicked herself for letting him get injured. He had pretended that he hadn't seen her small breakdown in the car before she began driving to her house that Friday afternoon - instantaneously welling up with tears, wiping them away hastily – for her sake, but he wasn't stupid. He knew her. He knew she secretly wanted him to stay at her house on that Saturday for their safety, so she could try and get the thoughts out of her head by taking care of him. The boy would have stayed if he could, but he couldn't.

Resting his hands on the steering wheel for a moment, contemplating everything that had happened last week – the week that began so smoothly, and ended a disaster - a high from winning to two other show choirs in the area to a tremendous low from losing to the local bullies. Ryder checked his complexion in the rear-view mirror nearby: the scratches and cuts still remained on areas of his face (though less severe, thanks to Marley's nursing) as well as the bruise that graced the right side of his jaw (thought it was not as perceptible as it had been), his black eye was still very noticeable, but luckily his lips had gone back to normal from their swollen state. The chestnut-haired boy wore contacts instead of his usual glasses, as the specs he typically sported were under repair.

He was terrified of running into his tormenters. One of the reasons they picked on him in the first place was because he had gained Marley's attention instead of them, so he had to keep the girl under his wing – there wasn't a doubt in his mind that she'd want to give him similar treatment. With his heart pumping faster with every passing second, he reluctantly removed himself from his vehicle and swung his backpack over his shoulder, hissing slightly as a dull pain ached through his arm at the action. Gritting his teeth in worry and anticipation, he slowly made his way towards the school.

Just then, a car he knew very well – a grey Porsche – parked into a spot nearby; due to the family's wealth, it was casual to her. The Cheerio herself soon trudged out of her car and locked it after her departure, throwing the keys carelessly into a pocket inside her red, white and black backpack. As it was now winter, the brunette wore matching uniform pants underneath her cheerleading skirt, and a Cheerios jersey which she found herself securing around her torso further due to the chill outside. To accompany these, she wore a cosy, woollen, crimson coloured scarf which was woven around her neck and tucked into her jersey, though she still shivered against the freezing, foggy air that misted across the area of the school. Her eyes had lost their sparkle. Like the weather, they were chilling; she had experienced a tough week, too.

Her eyes drifted up to see him, causing her to crack a simple, concerned smile. "Hey, babe."

"Hey." He smiled, walking towards her as they made their way closer to school together, interlocking fingers.

"You're looking better…" Marley observed quietly, trying to cling onto the positives. "Are you feeling better?"

"I do feel a bit better," Ryder shrugged. "I'm still in a bit of pain, things still ache… but I'm doing okay."

"Good, good." She shivered against the cold air which slid down her back, using her free hand to adjust her scarf. Then, in an even more hushed tone, she added: "Ry, if you ever need any help today, with _anything_…"

"I know." Ryder dismissed, stopping in his tracks to face her. "And thank you for being so supportive and for nursing me this weekend. I really do appreciate it."

"Hey, what are girlfriends for?" Marley fanned the compliment away, giggling before leaning up on her tiptoes and kissing him chastely on the lips. "I love you."

"I love you, too." Ryder replied adoringly as Marley sank back down to her normal height and continued walking with him again – 'I love you' had become a more regular thing over the weekend, perhaps because of all of the events that had taken place. Perhaps Marley had finally accepted it.

"Hey, do we have Glee first thing?" The ocean-eyed teenager spoke up in between comfortable silences.

Ryder squeezed his eyes shut as his head felt like it was about to explode – he had forgotten about Glee Club. "Yeah…" he whispered, scolding himself for forgetting, thinking of everything all at once.

Marley, noticing his sudden aura of discomfort, used her other hand to stroke up and down his arm consolingly. "Hey, we don't have to go if you don't want to."

"No, no, no. Running away from these issues won't make it better – they'll hear the story from someone else, and that'll just make things even more complicated." Ryder insisted as they finally arrived at the school door. "Come on, it starts soon. Let's go."

Marley mumbled a sentence of obedience before walking into the warmth of the school, never straying from Ryder as they walked through together. People stared. He looked down. She looked menacingly at the glares in question, raising an eyebrow as if to say "what do you think you're looking at?" This expression only developed further when the culprits – one with a band aid over his nose, one with a black eye and the last jock with an evident limp – wandered past the pair in triangle formation.

Finally, with the help of his girlfriend, Ryder had assembled his books and the pair now ambled slowly towards the choir room. Upon arriving, Marley gave her boyfriend's hand a reassuring squeeze before the pair paced into the room. Everyone had already arrived, and there was a moment of peace that, predictably, was cut short.

"Woah…" Sam detected gloomily. "Dude, what happened to your face?"

This rather insensitive observation triggered a deep breath from Marley, who was determined not to yell at her friends. "After our performance on Friday, a few guys on the football team cornered him. I managed to fight them off when I saw what was happening, but… the damage was already done at that point."

"So… those three jocks with the bruises and limps – _you _did that?" Katie, who sat in the corner, answered in disbelief.

"I took a self-defence course last summer." Marley brushed off nonchalantly as Ryder sat down. "But this isn't about me. We're trying not to make this a big deal."

That comment didn't cease the questions. "When did this happen, exactly?" Blaine asked with a voice full of concern.

"After school. Most people had gone home, no one was around to watch." The brunette shrugged as she took a seat next to Ryder on the front row.

"Why did it even happen?" Artie asked quietly.

Marley sat motionless at that comment, not even turning her head to the side to look at the questioner. She knew why: they wanted revenge against her, because they were all victims to a sloppy ending of a fling; of total public embarrassment when they were dumped in the hallway by her. They wanted her unhappy –in the end, she supposed, they achieved that. "I don't even know." Marley chuckled humourlessly, thanking her acting abilities.

"But… why couldn't he have just escaped with a slushie? I mean, we've never been targeted with real, physical violence like that… the only thing any of us have come closest to is getting shoved into a locker, or something."

Apparently, Marley's wall against the truth was poorly constructed. "It must have been something more personal, something one of us must have done to one of them…" Tina smirked, basking in the glorious realisation of her new theory. The brunette felt Tina's eyes burning into the back of her head – Tina Cohen-Chang always did have a grudge against the Cheerio. "It was her."

At this point, Ryder's nostrils splayed as one of his hands subtly gripped harder onto the side of his chair, driving Marley to take a better look at him. His eyes were closed, like he was trying to concentrate on something, or to zap himself out of a situation. That was usually how he reacted to these situations, being introverted. Marley, though, seized her extroverted personality and used it to her advantage, turning around to Tina, who sat one row above her. "Excuse me?"

"I'm very good at remembering things…" The brown-eyed girl shrugged simply with a snigger. "You dated all three of those Neanderthals for one or two weeks at the beginning of junior year before proceeding to call it off in the middle of the hallway. You humiliated them. And now that you've settled down with someone – someone less popular than them, nonetheless – they want revenge. So they take it out on him with the full intention of tearing you two apart. Personally, I think it's ingenious." She sneered, crossing her arms before concluding her hypothesis. "Therefore, Ryder getting his face busted is completely, entirely, whole-heartedly, one hundred percent-"

"_Shut up!_" Marley surprised everyone by yelling and turning around to the intimidator in question. "Even if it was my fault, does something I did in my junior year even matter?"

"Well, it obviously matters to them-" Tina attempted a snarky reply, only to be interrupted by the other brunette again.

"I didn't mean that! I meant: should it even matter to _you_? I thought we were "family" in this God forsaken club, but by trying to reassure him, you're tearing _me_ down. It doesn't work like that, especially not if we're _dating_." She growled. "And if anything, it's _your _fault for accepting Principle Figgins' offer to perform to the entire school!"

"_Excuse me? _That performance was an opportunity for us! It was a chance for the other people at the school to see who we really are!" The brown-eyed girl retorted.

It was the brunette's turn for tough love. "You really thought that a stupid little performance would change other people's perspectives? Stop being so naïve. Everyone pins us as losers and that's how it's always been, so it's about time you accepted that."

"Even so, how _dare _you say that the fault was mine? You haven't even been in this club for a year. This time 12 months ago, you were still powering through every guy at this school! Besides… it would have happened sooner or later. You didn't think that you'd be tease-free for the semester, did you? You didn't_ really_ think that everyone had accepted that Beauty and The Beast were finally going out publicly, especially after everything that happened last year?" Tina retorted, gnawing at Marley's nerves.

That comment silenced their argument for a few agonising seconds, before the cerulean-eyed girl finally composed herself with a reply. "I admit it: it _was _my fault about what happened to Ryder."

"Babe…" The boy in question tried to object, but Marley broke out of character and firmly but kindly denied it.

"No, Ry, it was. They told you _face to face_ that it was." She spoke softly, before turning back to Tina and regaining composure. "Even though it was my fault, that doesn't mean that those jocks win. If anything, it pushed my already non-existent thoughts of giving those guys a second chance even further out the window. Those Neanderthals haven't gotten their revenge yet, and they never will."

"But their aim was to make you unhappy, right? So they _did_ win. You're all upset, and Ryder's face is all messed up. They achieved. They won." Tina countered.

"They didn't win. They just want me to go back to the way I was, but I'm never going back. I'm in a real relationship now, and I'm not going to screw it up." Marley tried to keep calm, looking at the Asian girl intensely.

This prompted a mocking chuckle from Tina. "Sorry, sweetheart, but how long is _that_ gonna last? Sugar and I have a bet going on about when you'll finally snap out of your daze and go sauntering off to have meaningless sex with the next guy you see!"

That comment silenced the room, and when the words finally travelled through Marley's ear canal and were comprehended in her foggy brain, instinct took control. Eyes sinister, nostrils flaring, she found herself standing up hastily from her chair and stepping towards Tina-

"Marls." A voice mumbled lowly as a hand made its way to her stomach, softly but firmly pressing against it to prevent any forbidden actions which would take place - the girl didn't have to move a muscle to identify the person as Ryder. She kept glaring at Tina, breathing heavily out of her nose as the boy rose to his feet, getting in between the two girls. "Mar, don't sink to her level. Don't let her get to you. You're lucky that Figgins is unobservant with his students, otherwise you'd already be suspended for fighting back those guys. If you start something up with her, it'll go on your permanent record, which already has one mistake on it. Another one, and you'll have to give up college. Marls, please don't do this – please don't do that to yourself. She's just trying to get in your head."

After a while, Marley finally took a step back, though still staring menacingly at her tyrant. Before Mr Schue finally arrived with apologies and previous whereabouts, she muttered something that she hoped would force enough distance between the two for a while:

"You haven't overpowered me yet, Harajuku girl."

* * *

"Ready… go!" Marley said excitedly as she sat on her magnificently varnished coffee table in the household's living room, scanning her watch as the second hand struck twelve, signalling the start of another minute. It was the 23rd of December, and both of their parents had agreed for the two to spend today in each other's company, since both of the families were seemingly very busy during this time of year – this week in particular. The two, having finally found a boring moment in the day – between lunch and dinner – decided that it would be fun to try a new challenge – seeing how many mince pies they could eat in two minutes.

Ryder began, hurriedly releasing the mince pie from its restrictive casing. He wasted no time in scoffing the pastry into his mouth, struggling as he attempted to chew and swallow the pie, as Marley witnessed in front of him, laughing.

"You've never been so attractive." Marley spoke satirically in between giggles.

"Shut up." Ryder just about mumbled through his mouthful. "Why can't you do this with me, anyway?"

Marley scoffed. "I'm on a _diet_, silly."

"You're on a diet at _Christmastime_?" Her boyfriend spoke, confused. "Why? What's the point?"

"The point is the Cheerios have a gig the week we get back after Christmas –and it's Sue's orders." The brunette girl explained, shrugging the matter off as she continued to look at her watch.

"But…" Ryder whimpered, trying not to spew pastry flakes onto his girlfriend – it was proving difficult. "It's, like, _Christmas_."

"I'm not gonna diet on Christmas _day_, you dork." Marley chuckled as if the matter was blatantly obvious. "Just… the other days."

Ryder looked like he was going to protest, and almost did, if he didn't feel like he was going to choke on his mince pie. They sat in silence for the rest of it – aside from the girl's continuous giggling with every attempted chew.

"Time's up, time's up!" Marley shrieked just as her boyfriend was trying to take another mince pie out of its case. She counted the poor pile of finished foil cases – it didn't take long. "Two?! You only ate _two _in _two minutes_?!"

"Shouldn't you be grateful? I mean, your boyfriend is a polite eater. It's everyone's dream." Ryder shrugged, struggling to stick up for himself.

"Sure." Marley sighed after a while, grinning hopelessly at him. It was her first Christmas where she was actually with someone that she cared about. Thinking about this, she lifted herself off the varnished mahogany coffee table and in his lap instead, connecting their lips briefly, pressing their foreheads together and looking into his eyes behind the distortion of his glasses (which he had finally gotten repaired). After a while, she spoke again: "Do you want to exchange gifts now?"

"Sure." He reciprocated, lifting her off his lap as she squealed, leaving briefly from the room to retrieve her present. Upon returning, he found her again as she sat with her legs crossed on sophisticated leather couch, grasping a sizeable present in her pale hands. "Is that… for me?"

"Of course it is, goofball." Marley rolled her eyes. "Now sit." He did as he was told, holding the considerably smaller present in his hands. The brunette's eyes transfixed on the item and it triggered a warm smile which Ryder couldn't help but see as pitiful. "Open mine first."

"Okay…" Ryder spoke wearily as he began ripping the bright wrapping paper from its interior, revealing the gift inside. A giddy laugh projected his reaction soon after. "Oh my God, you didn't."

"I did." Marley chirped, basking in the success that came with getting him a present he actually liked, when he was so hard to shop for. "Well, you kept going on about it, so I had to get it for you, didn't I?"

"I can't believe it…" Ryder said, turning the large book over and over in his hands – it was an autobiography about one of his favourite scientists and mathematicians, someone whom he looked up to – his post-gift delight and utter admiration as he examined the book filling Marley's stomach further with a fresh, blissful feeling. "Th-Thank you! God, I love you even more. Thank you."

"I'm glad you like it, I was really worried that you wouldn't…" Marley confessed, nibbling on her lip, earning another chuckle from her boyfriend, who sat opposite her on the same couch she sat on herself.

"In what universe would I not like this?!" Ryder questioned, completely confused as to why she might think that was the case. "Thank you." He repeated.

"Alright, alright. You're welcome." Marley finally accepted, leaning across to envelope him in a hug filled with warmth, getting as intoxicated as ever by his cologne as she buried her head willingly into his shoulder. Upon finally pulling away, the cerulean-eyed teenager squealed and clapped her hands at a rapid pace with much excitement. "My turn!"

"Here." Ryder spoke sincerely as he sheepishly handed over the tiny box. "I-I'm sorry it's not much, but-"

"Hey, don't judge a present by its size, right?" Marley assured him, playing with the actual saying as she carefully took the present from Ryder's nervous clutch.

She looked at its exterior – it was wrapped in simple green wrapping paper, then secured with red string, crossing over the top with a bow where all the strings met – it seemed to be wrapped nervously; there was a certain aroma of his anxiousness around it, especially when she flipped the small parcel over to reveal uneven pieces of tape securing the string and paper together. She smiled. Never had an inanimate object seemed so unmistakably like _him _– messy but beautiful, and hiding something that only she could open – and she opened it upon pondering on that for a while, sensing Ryder's growing nerves on her potential reactions. Once she had slid her finger under a bit of wrapping paper (loosely secured by the tape) and using that as a gateway to discovering the contents inside, she soon lay her eyes upon a white box. Looking up to her boyfriend one final time – seeing his eyes transfixed between the present and her, his lip bitten apprehensively – she slowly robbed the box of his lid. Awestruck.

"Ry…" Marley fumbled with language; with words, as she looked at his gift to her. "I can't believe you remembered…" She stared at the gift, captivated, mesmerised, fascinated as the boy began to sport a grin on his face.

"How could I forget?" Ryder arched an eyebrow in response, smirking as she took the present out of its casing.

"Easily!" Marley found herself giggling. "It was _months _ago…" She returned to a dreamy tone, reminiscing. The two had been walking in the park in summer and, when the time finally came to return back home, the two simply strolled along the streets of Lima, gazing drowsily into the countless shop windows, enthralled by the countless lights around them now that it was finally getting darker. When the two had strolled by the local jeweller's, the brunette couldn't help but stop in her tracks to admire each diamond, each gem, each silver masterpiece in the window, puffing out little sighs and breaths which settled as condensation on the window. A particular piece caught her eye – a small necklace which would only settle below the collarbone, with a small, silver outline of a peony. It sat sadly in the cramped corner of the shop window and an old tag hung loosely off it, depicting its cost as considerably less than the other, more extravagant jewellery items in the shop's window. Marley, at the time, had pointed this out and had said instead that the necklace was her favourite – after all, simplicity in jewellery was often her style, and peonies were her favourite flowers. She had left the sight of the shop with some reluctance that evening, and it had been on Ryder's mind ever since. "I can't believe you actually remembered…" Marley repeated, before focusing her gaze on him once again, a huge grin spreading itself across her face immediately. "Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you so, so much!" Marley showed a fraction of her gratitude and engulfed him in a hug immediately after this, with Ryder not hesitating a second to reciprocate the gesture.

"No problem." He chuckled into her hair at her grand sign of appreciation.

Upon tearing away with hesitancy, Marley looked at him. "Can you help me put it on? And then I can show Mom before we have dinner."

"Sure" The chestnut-haired boy agreed as Marley leant up to her knees and pivoted around on the couch, with her back now facing him, handing him the delicate piece of jewellery. Ryder fumbled with the clasp, cursing a few times under his breath as he failed to link the necklace together at the back of her neck (and humouring Marley in the process), before he finally managed to get the necklace to hang and settle at her neck on its own. He grinned at his work, and moulded his lips around a spot on the back of her pale neck to tell her that his job was complete. "Merry Christmas." He murmured, settling his hands at her waist from behind, triggering the girl to twizzle back round to meet his eyes.

"Merry Christmas." She replied sincerely, looking at his eyes, still ever-so-slightly distorted behind his glasses, but still projecting the deep brown that they possessed. Then, she was leaning closer to him and clutching his cheek, connecting their lips for a passionate kiss filled with gratitude; pulling away softly, slowly, the two were still in close proximity with one another – close enough that their foreheads met. The brunette shuffled closer, now slowly sliding onto his lap as Ryder secured her waist in his hands again, her own hands now settling at his shoulders and chest. After a while, she spoke up again. "Thanks for this. It's nice having someone to celebrate with this year – someone I care about a lot." Marley smiled timidly, triggering an even bigger smile from Ryder as he pecked her on the cheek for good measure.

"Marley!" Her mother called through the grand house in a shrill tone. "Do you kids want to join me and your father for a warm mince pie?"

The girl couldn't help but chuckle as her eyes focused on the coffee table, and the tin foil cases and pastry crumbs which she and Ryder had left there. "That's okay, Mom." She replied in between laughs. "I think we're good."

* * *

**If you're struggling to visualise Marley's peony necklace, do not fret – there are links to pictures of it in my profile :-)**

**Another chapter! Gosh, this is getting me all festive and it's only mid-November... Woops. Anyway, half angst, half fluff. Hope you enjoyed it!**

**Please review if you get the chance – I love hearing from you all, it makes my day, honestly. Perhaps you might even want to hazard a guess as to what happens next…**

**Hopefully I'll be able to update soon, but I'm kind of busy with school and now the school's production of Grease (yaaaaayyy) – I'm teen angel. It's hilarious.**

**Until next time,**

**Beth :-)**


	7. The Beginning, Meeting and Consequence

**Hi, me again. Sorry for my unplanned hiatus… Christmas was even busier than usual this year, and combined with all that, work and dyeing my hair blue (which now won't come out by the time I have to go back to school… woops…), it was a massive setback getting this up and published. In all honesty, I started writing this on Boxing Day – I was writing pretty much whenever I could until now, trying to get this polished – and now it's finally up! This chapter is, as you might have guessed given how long it took to write (and given the lengthy title), **_**very **_**long. I'm sorry about that (unless you like long chapters, in which case, today is your lucky day!). Really, this was meant to be a filler chapter – I guess my mind went off on a bit of a wander. A lot happens in this though, so stay awake (if you can).**

**Aaaaaanyway, without further ado, the chapter! **

* * *

For the brunette, January came around as a whirlwind. Christmas had graced the world with momentary peace and the sweet, crisp breeze… and then came the stress. Of finals, of essays, of the return of the dreaded: school. This wasn't helped by the fact that she hadn't seen her boyfriend since that beautiful day on the 23rd, meaning that there was an unfamiliar deprivation of reciprocated feelings (love, of course, being one of these), no one to kiss at New Year's and, as a result of all of these, a negative change in mood. She found herself bossy once more; unhappy, unnecessarily sarcastic all of the time, often finding herself alone in her room for entire days. In the end, she decided that school would save her from that misery, even if it meant replacing it with a brand new misery to deal with.

And that's where school comes in. The early morning frost had settled on her car, causing her to agitatedly scrape it off amongst the bitter chill around her on the first day back. She decided that January 2015 was a pain already, numbing her skin, coaxing shivers out of her as she winced at the sound of the ice scraper teasing at her car windscreen, rolling her eyes at how utterly useless her attempt at putting on more layers had been – she was wearing her cheerleading top, her skirt, jacket, bottoms, a scarf, a knitted headband (which graced the back of her neck, her ears and wound around to her forehead) _and _gloves, but she still felt the winter against her skin.

Eventually, she had managed to get to school on time – despite the morning's struggles – and as she rolled her car into a parking space, her thoughts could not decide themselves. Her mind became a mix of colour, torn between happiness and fear of what was about to take place. In the end, all that she could assume was that it was a strange sort of adrenaline, urging her to take a step into the January weather outside, and into McKinley. There was no escape. With a roll of her eyes, she tread cautiously out of the vehicle, rubbing her hands together and praying that the friction would warm her up.

A few paces away, and the brunette already had an intense desire for warmth, longing to go back in the car. She tried to walk away faster, attempting methods that would drive her away from her temptations and bring her closer to the warmth of the school – she was pursuing this when Ryder saw her.

"Mar!" That voice tried to find its way through the thick air, but it did not reach her as she continued to venture towards the building amongst the relatively empty parking space (it seemed that a large proportion of students had opted to have a lie in before showing up to school). He tried to make his footsteps faster, although his pacing was still cautious, well aware that pushing anything could result in a slip due to the icy state of the tarmac. He tried again. "Marley!"

Luckily, that time she heard (and so unknowingly prevented any ice-related accidents in the process), spinning around in a circle to identify who the voice was coming from, her face lighting up at who it was when she finally acknowledged him (it took longer than it should have, but it was early and her vision was somewhat sacrificed). "Ryder!" Within moments of shouting his name amongst the almost deserted parking lot, she was trying her best to jog towards him, attempting to let out her energy into each step so she didn't crush him with the hug she would inevitably give him (adrenaline was still with her), but still vowing not to slip on the way.

He chuckled as he saw her. Her cheeks were flushed due to the cold, and as she ran over to him, the seconds became elongated in his mind, as he took a few steps towards her, awaiting her embrace in desperation. When the girl finally reached him, she practically jumped and squealed as she threw her arms around his neck in an instant, closing her eyes as their embrace finally dawned on her and she grinned into his shoulder, breathing in his cologne as it found its way up her nostrils. "I've missed you so much." The cerulean-eyed girl mumbled into his coat.

He wrapped his arms around her thin waist, securing her in his grasp instantaneously, his cheek pressing against her white, knitted head-wrap and her hair – sculpted into a slick ponytail, as usual – taking the time to note _her_ scent, sweet and subtle, like it always had been; he had missed it, and being reminded of it once more instigated a smile to form at the corners of his mouth. "I've missed you, too."

Reluctance slid through their veins as they eventually pulled away, though their arms were still tangled around each other as they found themselves looking at each other for a few seconds. Eventually, the brunette slid her hands down from behind his neck and instead grasped onto the thick fabric of his coat, grabbing it in her hands and tugging at the material – that was all that was needed to bring his body closer to hers, attaching their lips for a long overdue, ardent kiss – and even as their frozen noses pressed against the other person's cheek, they didn't care.

And so, like always, they walked around school together that day, facing all of the misery that everyone was experiencing, of course spending time with their friends as well. They were reunited after days, and were already organising more things to do together over time as they laughed and joked around like they had the year before.

The strife returned at lunchtime.

The brunette had collected her tray from the cafeteria's bar, a salad, an apple (rolling around and bobbing precariously as she moved) and that ever-present, compulsory protein shake when she spotted Ryder, settling down with his friends from Glee Club, donating and receiving smiles as he took a seat. It wasn't long until he was scanning the room for her with the hopes of waving her over, but the brunette's attention had long since been wavered when her gaze shifted, over to something that astonished her; something unbelievable. Her old Cheerio friends had beaten Ryder to it, and were shouting her name over the havoc of the lunch hall, calling her over to the 'popular' table, red and white colours clustered around the desk like a rugby huddle as they all talked and wolfed down their food. Marley had forgotten about her past life considerably – how exciting, how gossipy, how carefree it all seemed. Then, she turned to Ryder again. She bit her lip. Those jocks who huddled together on the table had _hurt _him, months before – some of his cuts were still visible, even though most imperfections on his face had cleared. Revisiting the 'popular' table would have a great impact on what her Glee Club friends thought of her… but then again, the same would happen if she chose the Glee Club table.

Something happened then which made her decision considerably easier: as Ryder was attempting to reel her in, he noticed just who he was situated next to: Tina Cohen-Chang. Ever since their conflict in the choir room before Christmas break, they hadn't spoken; it was obvious that the brown-eyed girl still despised her and, frankly, the cerulean-eyed girl didn't jump at the idea of talking to _her _either. As her boyfriend called her over, she comprehended Tina's menacing glare – one which warned Marley to keep her distance, or else. A gut instinct told her that she should obey the message, and so she traipsed towards the jock table, praying that Ryder wouldn't notice.

It was a naïve thought to begin with. "Mar!" He walked over to her, smiling – although the expression faltered. "Where are you going?"

The girl in question froze, but hoped she could appear nonchalant when she told him: "I think I'm gonna sit with my friends from the Cheerios today, if that's okay, babe."

Ryder tried to gloss over his initially shocked reaction with a chuckle as he looked over to the table she was talking about, and spotted those three jocks that had hurt him in an instant. "W-Why?"

Marley sighed and then grasped her lunch tray more firmly, pushing the rim against her stomach slightly. "It's nothing. I just feel… like I need to reconnect with them. I've been kind of separate from them recently. And I know that's not necessarily a bad thing, but… some of them are really nice people. And maybe if I talk to the ones who aren't as nice, I can finally smooth over what they've done to you…" Ryder looked down momentarily at that comment, "and what they've done to your friends over the years. It's nothing to do with you or the Glee Club," She reassured him and, whilst doing so, turned her gaze to land on the Glee Club's marked territory to find Tina still glaring at her, moving her school bag onto the only available seat – the one which hers would have been. The blue-eyed girl fought the urge to roll her eyes as she focused back on Ryder. "It's just reconnecting with some old friends – that's all." She bit her lip before asking gingerly: "I mean… is that… okay?"

The taller teenager looked down at his girlfriend for a few seconds, attempting to change his emotions from what they seemed to the brunette – she obviously wouldn't have added the question at the end if he didn't look like an abandoned puppy. He shook his head, attempting to turn his mind into a clean slate, then grinned. "Of course. That's absolutely fine. I'll see you later, okay?"

Marley visibly deflated as she impulsively breathed out a sigh of relief. "Okay." She smiled warmly, before going on tiptoes and pressing a soft kiss to his cheek – she was so afraid that he would take the whole thing personally. "I love you." She sealed everything with those last three words, before sashaying off to her lunch table for the day. Ryder had no choice but to watch her go.

Somewhat defeated, he dragged his feet back to his own table, plastering a grin back onto his face like he had in front of her. As he sunk back into his chair, it was obvious that his friends had seen the fiasco.

"Aw, what happened?" Tina spoke mockingly as she stuck a fork into her food, looking at the new arrival pointedly.

The boy himself was trying to perfect the act of nonchalance in front of them – the one Marley had taught him herself. He pretended not to hear her, focusing on his food, then looked up. "Huh?"

"Your girlfriend just ditched you for her popular friends." Sugar observed, raising her perfectly plucked eyebrows at the boy.

Ryder shrugged. "I'm not bothered. She's just trying to smooth things over with them, get them on our side and stuff."

This instigated a scoff from Unique to accompany the group's disbelieving expressions. "I'll believe _that _when I see it…"

The boy chuckled. "Come on guys, she's doing us a favour."

Sam looked down at his food. "Either that or you just lost yourself a girlfriend, dude." He found himself sneering, earning a glare from Ryder in the process.

"You're being ridiculous – everything is fine." The boy insisted, laughing the matter off again. He had made a habit of laughing things off by now.

* * *

"I know, but what if they think I look too… formal? But I don't want to look like, dressed _down_ for the occasion... Just – what's their favourite colour?" Marley squirmed in her room, frantically looking at the several pieces of clothing in her neatly tidied, impressive walk-in wardrobe – suddenly, none of them were suitable to her; none enthralled her. She balanced her iPhone against her cheek and her shoulder as she took out a dress, looking at every part of it with her intense, blue-eyed gaze, until she huffed and returned the item to the clothes rack she was standing in front of.

Her agitated and nervous manner triggered a chuckle from her boyfriend. "And why does that matter?"

Marley groaned and picked her phone back up, holding it to her ear once more. "I don't know! I mean, if I'm wearing their favourite colour, there might be some psychology there in my favour. Like, they might warm to me more easily."

"Mar, colours don't matter. Wear what makes you comfortable, and I'm sure they'll warm to you for _you_." He spoke sincerely, kicking back onto his bed, looking at his white ceiling, smiling to himself.

"You must be mixing me up with someone else," She chuckled as she continued to look at her different frocks, tops and jeans. "The only person that's _ever_ warmed to me instantly was _you-_"

"And _I _was raised by _them. _Look, it's not like I _am _my parents, but I'm their son. They'll warm to you, I know they will." The boy smirked, though he knew she couldn't see him.

A silence overtook them for a few moments as Marley contemplated things, mumbling her thoughts under her breath. Eventually, she spoke again. "What about a skirt? I have this black skirt which I can wear with a casual top and it's automatically semi-formal… do your parents mind semi-formal?"

Ryder bit his lip, so to conceal a laugh. "Babe, they would probably still meet you if you showed up in a garbage bag."

"Oh." Marley licked her lips, thinking for a moment. "So would they only be okay with casual, then?"

At this point, the chestnut-haired boy rolled his eyes. "No, no, they're fine with _whatever _you wear, honestly. You don't have to come in your best gown and you don't have to come in a garbage bag - Somewhere in between is all they're really expecting." He spoke clearly. His tone projected his emotions: he was growing less tolerant of her bickering.

Marley detected this, heaving a sigh of her own as she sat down on a chair in her wardrobe. "I'm sorry." She began dejectedly, then spoke again, her voice timid: "I guess I just really want them to like me and I'm just… nervous." She admitted, nudging a more soothing tone out of Ryder.

"It's okay. I just wish you weren't so nervous – I mean, there's really nothing to worry about. They're not mean people… I just wish I could do something to make you feel…" He trailed off as she began a new turn in the conversation.

"I know, but there's nothing you can do. I mean, it's your _parents_ – I had to meet them someday, right?" She joked, finally finding the courage to walk over to where her skater skirt was and pick up a cropped sweater which she had been umm'ing and aah'ing over for a while. Turning her phone to speaker and resting it on a cushion nearby, she began undressing so she could put the clothing items on.

"Right. And hey, it's not like you've _never _met a guy's parents before." Ryder tried to reassure her, but his soft reassurances turned into daggers as they reached the receiver, the words collapsing down Marley's ear canal as she paused from her undressing to look to the phone, breathing out a strangled sigh which caught in her throat – a strangled sigh which, thankfully, Ryder never heard. She couldn't find words to tell him that she _had _never, in fact, met a guy's parents before – her lovers would ensure it never happened because they were embarrassed of her, or they would have broken it off within days, so the guy's parents never even _knew _their son had been dating someone. The latter usually overruled. Marley paused from her dressing to scramble to her phone, only wearing her bra and underwear (and her sweater, which now dangled from around her neck). She giggled into the receiver to hide her fretfulness from him, kneeling down to where her phone was, relieving the silence. "Yeah, I guess so." Silence interrupted their conversation again for a few moments, before Marley spoke again quietly, picking up her phone and taking it off speaker, pressing it back up to her ear as she adjusted her sitting position on the carpet – she was now curled up in a foetus position. "Ryder?"

"Yes?" He answered immediately.

She breathed the umpteenth sigh that day. "Thank you."

He giggled, scratching the back of his neck. "For what?"

"For not leaving me and giving me parents to meet in the first place." She spoke simply, grinning, projecting her smile through her words, triggering that grin to become contagious.

"Well, you're welcome. And I'd never leave you, Marley." He spoke sincerely, causing her to smirk as the loving words reached the brunette's ears.

"I know you wouldn't." She confessed, leading to a small chuckle from the other line. "Now, I should probably go and shower so I smell nice for tomorrow…"

"Right, okay." He acknowledged. "See you tomorrow, Mar. I'll pick you up at five. Love you."

She giggled, rolling her eyes at how smitten he was for her as he signed off. "Ditto." She bit her lip, still beaming greatly, before ending the call, feeling herself come down from that high that he had provided for a while (despite the fact that their conversation's topic was extremely unnerving to think about).

Her social skills were flawless, she could easily make someone fall in love with her bubbly and sly personality, and her dress sense was to die for, but there was always something so frightening about meeting the boyfriend's parents – especially since she knew that the loss of _this particular boyfriend _could have her shattered beyond belief. The fear of saying something accidentally offensive, wearing the wrong thing, not showing her full potential, telling a joke that wasn't funny or, God forbid, leading them to think that she was the wrong match for their son, began to seep in once more as she zipped up her skirt and became even more apprehensive than what she had already been. Finally pulling her arms through the woollen burgundy sweatshirt she had around her neck from the end of the call and pulling it down, she turned gingerly to the full-body mirror to the left of the room. _"Yes,"_ she thought to herself, knowing full well that if she disagreed with her choice she would have to undergo more outfit hunting – something she wasn't prepared to waste her time with anymore. _"I think that'll be fine. Subtle makeup, but a bold lipstick. Maybe some heeled boots. French manicure, if I have time. I'd need to pluck my eyebrows tomorrow so I don't look all straggly-"_

"Marley! Dinner's ready!" Her mother shrieked from below, the teenager's nostrils instantly recognising her mother's Thai vegetable curry from upstairs.

"Coming!" She yelled back, looking at herself one last time before swirling out of the room with tired feet. _"Everything has to be alright, doesn't it? That's just how things work… Even if they don't like me, it's not like _they're _dating me."_

* * *

The brunette grabbed another strand of hair and wrapped it around her waving wand, waiting patiently for it to be done as she gazed into the mirror before her, inspecting her makeup, her eyebrows and her nails hastily – she had gone through with a lengthy beauty routine to ensure she looked her best for the events to take place that evening, and she was now adding the finishing touches to her hair, curling the last strand to give it a beachy wave that she hoped would impress Ryder's parents. She checked her phone with a press of a button, ensuring that she had up to ten minutes to complete her look, before she released the strand of hair from the wand and let it fall with the rest, perfectly tousled in a way that she liked, but not looking cheap or unintentionally messy. She was standing up to have a look at herself in the mirror when she remembered something _vital._ Her lipstick.

As if fate was entirely against her in that minute, her phone pinged with a text from Ryder, telling her that he was early and was already pulling up to her driveway. She groaned, scrambling through her lipstick drawer, attempting to find her burgundy hue and pencil, quickly outlining her cupid's bow before she filled it in with her burgundy coloured lipstick. The door knocked – Ryder was probably wondering what was taking so long.

Cursing under her breath, she eventually found her high heeled boots and slid them on over her black tights, grabbing her parka as she stumbled down the stairs, eventually opening the door after a deep sigh. She grinned in spite of herself as she saw Ryder's expression change from worried to pleased. "Good afternoon."

"Uh, good afternoon." He beamed back, tapping his foot lightly out of sudden nerves, leading Marley to notice as she grasped his chin softly and initiated a soft kiss upon his lips, leaving a good few seconds before she finally pulled away, biting her lip slightly to prevent from laughing at his awestruck face and his lips, now with a few areas of lipstick on them from where her pressure mostly lay. She took a perfectly manicured index finger and swiped it across his lips, taking off most of the lipstick, nonetheless smudging in the parts which remained to make it look more natural. "You look very pretty." He observed, chuckling as he realised what she had done and taking the moment to admire her ability to pick out the perfect outfit, despite their bickering the night before.

"Thank you." She grinned, taking one of his hands in hers. "Shall we go then?"

"Y-Yeah, I mean, if you're ready to." He stammered, forgetting where they were a bit as he blinked a few times, leading her off the steps of the porch and towards his car.

"I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be." She sighed, getting into the passenger seat.

The potentially awkward journey was filled with last minute reassurances and filling the brunette with things she probably needed to know about his family and his parents. He warned that his father might ask her about her grades and work values – after all, he was a PhD, school was very important to him and, in his opinion, education was the most valuable thing in life. Marley was an A+ Math student and often got similar marks in English (even when studying 'Wuthering Heights'), and averaged a B+ in her other subjects – she hoped that would please Mr Lynn enough, despite the fact her Physics, Chemistry and Biology grades were averaging a B, or a B- in bad semesters. Ryder was something of a prodigy, as he got A's or A+'s across the board. The boy himself also cautioned that his mother's smiles often seemed faltered or false, but not to take that to heart – it was just how her face rested, now that she was getting older. With every reassurance, every caveat and anecdote, the cerulean eyed girl's voice became frailer, and altogether she was drifting further into silence, her gaze wandering emotionlessly out of the window beside her.

As they parked in the Lynn's driveway and her boyfriend finally had the opportunity to look at her straight in the face – rather than precarious side glances – his own expression sank at how she now had her head raised towards their standard house, gazing towards it as if it was a paper shredder and she was an old envelope, about to dangle between its teeth. "Marley." He cooed, hoping to get her attention.

Within a second, she snapped her head towards him (her wavy hair trembling softly for a second or two with the impact), sniffing, and raised her eyebrows. "Yeah?"

He sighed and took her cold hand – worrying her even more as he politely informed her of her parent's quirks had, naively, not crossed his mind. "Nothing they do or say is going to stop me dating you."

Her fake smile threatened to peel off as she thought of the things they _could _do or say. What if something came up about her past relationships – what would she tell them then? What if, upon telling them about herself, they dragged Ryder into a separate room and broke it to him that they had decided she wasn't fit to their standards? What if they forced Ryder to break it off because she wasn't clever; well-dressed; studious; caring; pretty enough? "I know." She forced herself to say. "I'm just nervous, is all."

"There's no reason to be." He breathed the words in her general direction. "They're nice people and they have boundaries. I've told them a few things about you already and all they've ever said is how they can't wait to meet you." He smiled. "Besides, you've done this before, haven't you?" The girl's dazed expression wavered ever more as she hid her face with her hair, praying that this wouldn't be one of those times when he coaxed the truth out of her by just looking at her eyes – and, as if her prayers had been completely ignored, he softly clutched onto her shoulders, forcing her to look at him. His expression had faded too. "Haven't you?" He repeated, praying that she would snap back into reality with a grin and an _"of course I have, babe"._

Whatever he had been hoping was dissimilar beyond belief as she forced her head to turn away from him, giggling nervously into her lap instead, flattening out her black skirt. His eyes grew in realisation as he released his grip on her shoulders, his arms drifting back to his sides in awe as he still looked at her. Marley must have sensed his eerie mood, because she was sucking in a breath and speaking with a voice so quiet, the boy almost didn't hear her. "I'm sorry I never told you. It's… a bit embarrassing to tell."

The boy bit his lip, but no, he wasn't angry. He was a bittersweet concoction of dejection, confusion and exceptionality. "Just… how come?" He chuckled, though there was hardly any humour behind it at all.

"I don't know!" She groaned at herself, lifting her head up and resting it against the headrest in agitation. "I guess I've never had a long term relationship before like this, so I'm gone before the boyfriend's parents even knew I was there in the first place. Or, the guy had no real interest in a relationship and didn't require me meeting their parents, because they only wanted a fling or something." She spoke the last in a rather hushed tone. "So… it never… happened." He risked making eye contact with him, trying her best not to appear so unbelievably fragile that he felt guilty if they went through with this.

A hint of a smile began to make itself apparent on his lips, before he leaned forward slightly to capture her lips in a quick peck, pulled away and instead rested their foreheads together. "It seems scary, but it's only one dinner and a bit of chit-chat. My mom's cooking is great, I promise." That comment made her grin, because the idea that he even needed to reassure her about the food in the first place was an outlandish thought. "And they aren't going to pressure you to say anything, or do anything that makes you uncomfortable. They just want to get to know you – that's all. And when they've gotten to know you, they can form these opinions, but they're separate. They don't matter to us, and besides, their opinions won't be bad, because you're _you_. And if they don't love you like I do, to hell with them. Okay?"

After a while, the glint in her azure stare returned from its absence; she smiled as her gaze brightened towards him. "Okay." A hint of worry still nestled itself within them and threatened tears, but it was slowly subsiding. She hoped that seeing Mr and Mrs Lynn for the first time wouldn't trigger its return.

A few steps to the front door was all it took before Ryder was fishing out his key and jamming it into the door with a hint of anxiousness, his girlfriend praying that he couldn't hear her heartbeat, growing ever louder and faster, climaxing in her ears. Before he turned the doorknob, the chestnut-haired boy turned to the brunette, scanning her as she tapped her foot slightly against the ground and shrugged her parka further around her body, feeling the chill of January greatly even though she felt like she had just run a mile. Sensing his concerned gaze, the girl turned to him and gave a sincere smile, telling him with her eyes that yes, she was incredibly nervous, but things would be okay. Returning her smile, he twisted the doorknob and bellowed through the house:

"Mom! Dad! We're here!"

Marley felt Ryder shut the door behind her, blocking out the winter breeze as the girl herself frantically wiped her clammy palms on her coat, running her tongue over her teeth to ensure that there wasn't anything stuck in between them, saving her from any potential embarrassment. After a few agonising seconds, with Marley admiring her surroundings (this was not only the first time she was meeting Ryder's parents, but was also the first time at Ryder's house), her attention soon flickered to two figures walking down the stairs hand-in-hand, looking semi-formal – within seconds, the brunette felt underdressed, but put on a small smile. As their bodies came more into view with every step down the stairs, Marley notified them both as relatively slim and as their faces became presentable, she saw that Ryder looked unmistakeably like his father (who also wore glasses) and her mother was beautiful despite her complexion showing signs of ageing, projecting that mysterious faltered smile like Ryder had told her about. As the Lynn's made eye contact with her for the first time, the brunette's petite smile grew as she saw Mrs Lynn whisper a not-so-subtle "she's pretty" to her husband.

As the parents finished their descent, the brunette gave them both a warm smile simultaneously, despite the fact that her emotions internally were panicked, and deeply self-conscious as she stood in front of them. Is this how Ryder had felt when he met _her _parents, back in August?

The teenage boy in the room was the first to break a seemingly long silence, clearing his throat. "Um, this is my Mom, Helen, and my Dad, Richard."

Marley convinced her grin to grow, holding out her hand for Helen to shake, then Richard. "It's lovely to finally meet you both. I'm Marley." She explained sweetly, anticipating with gritted teeth for them to say "hey, like the dead dog movie!" or something similar, but the pair remained politely mute. She wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

"Well, make yourself comfortable. Richard will take your coat and dinner will be in about twenty minutes. Do you like shrimp, Marley?" Ryder's mother spoke warmly, still inspecting her.

"Yeah, I do." Marley spoke, tempted to writhe as she could feel their gazes seeping into her skin. After a while, she peeled off her coat and handed it to Ryder's father with a polite "thank you" and a sincere smile in his direction. After that, the two adults sauntered off elsewhere.

The brunette sighed shakily upon being left alone, before she knelt down to her feet and began unzipping her brown, high-heeled boots. "Are you okay?" She heard a voice above her, and detected the tone instantly as the son of the household.

Sliding her shoes off, she smirked, putting the boots to one side neatly and growing back to her normal height of 5'8. "I'm just making myself comfortable." She sneered, looking up at his now-confused expression.

"Did you, like, shrink from ten seconds ago?" He queried, causing her to chuckle. Shortly, he found his arms tangled around her waist, pecking her on the nose for good measure before asking: "so, what do you want to do for twenty minutes?"

Marley pretended to think, though she already had an idea stored from the moment she walked into the household. "How about you show me the rest of your home?"

A grin crept up on Ryder as he took his coat and shoes off, before taking her hand and leading her through his standard-sized house. Inside, it was warm, and the colours on the walls were neutral and homely, nonetheless brightening up the space and cleverly making rooms appear bigger. The brunette was lead through a hallway filled with family photos of Ryder and his family. One picture in particular caught Marley's attention as she halted her boyfriend's footsteps with hers, gazing up at the beautiful portrait of all five family members, huddled together and smiling, their bodies filtered black and white. Marley pointed to two girls on the photo. "Are those your sisters?"

"Yeah. That's Abigail," he pointed to one young, feminine face on the board, "And that's Veronica." He slid his finger over the canvas, to the girl next to the one he had just gestured towards. "Abigail's 22, Veronica's 20."

"So you're all two years apart?" She giggled. Ryder shrugged in response, leading her down the corridor soon after, where they were greeted by doors with more paintings and furniture strewn about.

"In there is the den, the music room's there, bathroom, and in there is the living room." He gestured to each door clearly, before leading her into every one as she admired the interior designs and homely wooden panels which occasionally framed a room. Inside the music room was a black piano, a few guitars and a fireplace. They exchanged small talk about who played which instrument. Finally, the living room presented a magnificent fireplace, a television and plush fabric sofas, inviting them to take a seat – they turned away with some longing still panging through them when they exited that room.

Soon, Marley was led back through the corridor of family pictures and up the stairs which she had faced upon meeting Ryder's parents. Finding herself on a new floor with more mirrors and artwork on the walls, she gazed at each one as Ryder talked through more of the rooms. "That's my parent's room, Dad's office, another bathroom, and – oh yeah, this is my room."

Marley's eyes widened, strangely stunned about the fact that she was going to see his room for the first time – something about that reverted her to innocence, something she only explored now with him, as a delicacy. "_Your room?_" The words flew unintentionally before she could stop them. He chuckled, opting to respond with a nonchalant "yeah" before pressing open his door and leading her inside.

His bedroom was surprisingly simple, showcasing royal blue walls, a plain, white bed with cushions and a comforter of a similar blue tint, a desk; a few posters of – guess what – astronomy, on the humble blue walls and a meek, wooden wardrobe. The brunette turned a full circle, scanning the room, finally noting something that gave this simplicity some innovation: a grand bookcase, filled with novels, classics, Dickens, Shakespeare, non-fiction books on science, history books, encyclopaedias, biographies, autobiographies – the girl even spotted the familiar spine of the large book she had given the boy for Christmas – all arranged by genre, then alphabetically. It was so… geeky.

She loved it.

"Wow," The brunette let out a whisper of astonishment, glossing her eyes over each book. "So many _books_."

The boy bit his lip, attempting to subtly glance at her expression to make sure she wasn't alarmed or creeped out by how much of a book worm he was. "Yeah?" He agreed, though it came out as more of a question - he was still struggling to spot if her reaction was positive.

A giggle erupted from her throat, relieving Ryder of stress. "I don't think I've read that many books in my entire life! Have you read _all _of them?" She turned to him once, giving him a doe-eyed smile before treading ever closer to the large bookshelf, which took up the whole wall.

"I mean, I've read most of them, but… I try to read when possible." He shrugged the matter off.

She turned around to him, raising her eyebrows. "Don't try and discredit yourself, babe. It's still impressive."

"It is?" It was the boy's turn to raise his eyebrows, and her response was a simple nod.

"Mhm." She smirked, running her smooth, pale hands up his plaid shirt. "So, now that we've established that your room is awesome, are there any more areas of the house that I haven't seen?"

Ryder raised his eyebrow, thinking intensely for a moment, before turning to him and performing one of his renowned shrugs. "I mean, upstairs is just Veronica and Abigail's rooms and the attic. Nothing that would be worth having a look at, really."

The teenage girl's Cheshire Cat-like grin grew impossibly broader. "Well then, I guess that concludes our tour." She sneered, slowly leaning up closer to him as she began to stand on her tiptoes gradually, her long eyelashes threatening to flutter against his cheek as she gazed from under them to look into his eyes, before closing hers in anticipation.

They were about to kiss, wonderfully, longingly, pensively, when the voice of Ryder's mother could be heard from downstairs, calling up to the two teenagers. "Dinner's ready!

Within an instant, Marley reopened her eyes in a fret, her pupils zipping over Ryder's face like a squash ball bouncing off the walls as she sunk back on her feet, biting her lip with instant, fresh nervousness which was not hidden by her complexion. She was so up in the clouds, the sensation of falling back to earth – and, consequently, the harsh reality: she was going to meet Ryder's parents – came as a sudden, painful shock to her, freezing her in a state of worry until her boyfriend's warm hands tried to pull her out of it, grasping onto her cold ones in reassurance. "We'll be down in a second, Mom!" He acknowledged her call, before turning to Marley. "You're gonna be fine. They're gonna love you. I mean, out of all the people you've ever spoken to in your entire life, how many people have loved you and how many people haven't? You're instantly likeable, Marley. Now come on, I bet they're dying to get to know you." He let go of one of her hands but kept a tight hold on the other as he began their descent down to the dining room.

Upon reaching the room, Marley noted the wine-coloured walls and matching, patterned curtains, a large, elaborate painting of a Spanish dancer on the wall. The middle of the table had been lightened with a few candles, and the lights were dimmed ever so slightly to set the mood as what Ryder's mother had first instructed her to feel: at home. Marley grinned as she noticed her boyfriend pulling out one of the oak chairs for her, thanking him before she tucked herself into the table – it was, like the chairs, oak, and had a burgundy throw over it, mirroring the colour of the walls. Appreciating the momentary calm, a pleasant, invigorating but warming smell of freshly-steamed rice, herbs and spices wafted up her nose. She spoke her thoughts: "It smells wonderful."

"Thank you." Mrs Lynn arrived in the room just as Marley spoke, nodding at the teenage girl as she brought in two plates of piled rice, some herb-covered shrimp displayed neatly on the top amongst vegetables and a sauce. She placed the plates on Marley and Ryder's places, Marley looking up at her as she did so and thanking her genuinely.

Moments later, Mrs Lynn returned with two more plates of food and her taller husband in tow, settling in their own places, opposite the two teenagers. The brunette girl waited patiently for some kind of signal; a nod, or scraping of cutlery to tell her when they were to start eating. Luckily, the waiting game was not too agonising to threaten her, because Ryder's mother gave her a polite smile before raising her cutlery to her plate, beginning to cut the food up and scoop the rice and prawns onto her fork. Marley began to do the same.

As the flavours met her tongue, they danced, complementing the other accompanying tastes. The brunette savoured the flavour of the rice the most, because she had been on a no-carb diet and decided that today would be the day she broke the rules slightly, so not to be rude by refusing any potatoes or rice that she would have been offered at the Lynn's dinner table. She told herself to chew 20 times before swallowing, so not to seem impolite but also as a dieting method to substitute her eating carbohydrates. Finally swallowing, she felt obliged to make a comment about the lovely meal. "This is lovely, thank you." She spoke genuinely, hoping it didn't sound as forced as it did to her. Looking somewhat surreptitiously around the table, the girl began taking another bite, taking less time to savour and swallow so the awkward silence that filled her place wouldn't get too comfy. She dared to speak again. "In my family, we hardly ever have meals all together around the table because we never manage to set time aside out of our lives to do that. It's usually my Dad – he's always working." She chuckled, explaining, fighting to keep the conversation as light-hearted as possible so it wouldn't turn into an interrogation.

"What does your Dad do then, Marley?" Ryder's father was the second person to speak.

"He's a doctor. Right now he's the head lecturer at the medical University." She explained, taking another mouthful.

"Oh, right." Richard nodded, seemingly interested. "Quite high up then?"

"I guess so. I mean, he has a PhD." Marley shrugged, soon internally regretting it and praying that it didn't come off as arrogant or offending Ryder's father.

Once again, Ryder's father nodded. "Will I have heard of him?"

His son sneered, interrupting the conversation for a brief moment. "Do all PhD's know each other?"

Richard's attention turned to his son, then down to his plate. "No," he admitted. "But sometimes we do. What's his name?"

"Uh, Lawrence Rose?" Marley squinted, suggesting as Richard's mouth became a strange sort of proud smirk as he nodded.

"I have his book in my office. That's your Dad?"

Marley giggled, shrugging once more. "That's my Dad." She repeated.

Silence lapsed gently into the room once more, before Ryder's mother spoke. "And what about your Mom, huh?" She picked up a forkful of rice, letting it hover halfway between the plate and her mouth as she spoke before eating it. "What does she do?"

"My Mom works part-time as an assistant buyer." Marley explained, to which Helen nodded as they both ate more of their dinner. The cerulean-eyed girl thought it would be polite to ask of Ryder's parent's occupations, and opened her mouth to do so after she had finished her mouthful, but her boyfriend had beat her to it, explaining that Richard has a PhD in Psychology and also does lectures at a different university in Lima when he has the chance, and Helen was mainly a stay-at-home Mom but worked for a company which sells toner. Over the next few minutes, they shared anecdotes over the table as the brunette listened intently. A few carefree stories were told which triggered miniscule chuckles and laughs, and Marley should have known that the topic would soon change onto something more serious.

"So, Marley, what are your plans for the future? College and stuff, I mean?" Ryder's father queried in a less easy-going tone, presenting that ever-present concern for academia which her boyfriend had warned her about. The brunette suddenly felt something warm clutching her knee cap softly, warmly, and soon identified it as none other than the chestnut-haired boy's hand, telling her when words couldn't that she didn't have to answer that question. Marley gulped down the lump in her throat which tried to make itself present upon the awkward question, before smiling and facing Ryder's father.

"I'm not one hundred percent sure yet, but I think it's between English and this other thing. I mean, English is probably the subject I'm best at and I usually get straight A's or A+'s, but my cheerleading coach has chosen me and this other girl out of our squad to be up for a Cheerleading scholarship in Kentucky. Only one of us will get it, so it's 50/50, but it's completely unconditional and cheerleading is something I'm really passionate about. I've sent out all my résumés though, just in case that doesn't work out." She nodded, taking a smaller bite out of her food – it was something she did to quench her nervousness.

"Cheerleading, huh?" Ryder's Dad seemed interesting, but the teenage girl couldn't help but spy disapproval as well, or doubt.

"Y-Yeah." She didn't mean to stutter. She really didn't. She thought this was going so well, and _please understand that she wasn't scared of you, Richard Lynn_. She just felt so incredibly strange, and all her efforts of keeping the conversation casual had been discarded. She now felt very much interrogated – it was part of her personality, being overdramatic. She cleared her throat. "It's kind of like a sport. Most people just think it's people prancing around a football field, but it is quite demanding – especially at a college level – and it's very competitive and fierce, probably even more so than football. Like, there's more pressure to not only participate in competitions, but to win championships to be considered for spots on squads with these huge, athletic programs in college." Praying that she didn't sound like Wikipedia had just possessed her, she finished with a nod, looking down at her plate and seeing it as a conquest for her to finish now. Then marked the return of Ryder's hand at her kneecap under the table. He could sense that she was growing rapidly uncomfortable. She could sense his eyes on her now, and though she knew that he had some sort of sixth sense when it came to her, Marley hoped that Ryder's parents couldn't tell how tense she had become.

Ryder's father nodded again. "So, in the scholarship, do you do any other subjects alongside it? Or is it just cheerleading?"

"No, it's a few other academic bits and pieces too. I think it's one other main subject which you can get a major in if you wanted to, which is why I'd love to get the scholarship because I could do English and get the best of both, really." Marley smiled.

"You're good at cheerleading then?" Richard persevered, raising his eyebrows. Ryder cut him with a glance.

"Dad…" He warned, sensing that he was murdering this topic already and making his guest _extremely _on edge.

"I like to think I am." Marley chuckled, but Richard looked as though he needed more convincing. "I've been a cheerleader since I was a freshman at McKinley, and I've been Head Cheerleader pretty much up until this year when my coach wanted to switch things up." Ryder gave her a side glance – he knew why Coach Sue had decided to give the head role to someone else: because Marley had been let go after her downfall in the summer term, all because of him. Suddenly feeling a pang of momentary guilt, he was glad she chastised it as 'switching things up'. Marley continued. "And we win pretty much every competition we're given. And I've been involved with every competition apart from one, and that was only because I couldn't make it."

"_Because you'd been fired unfairly." _Ryder almost corrected, but wanted to stay out of that terribly dark place, so he opted to keep his words as thoughts.

Richard finally gave a satisfied grin as he was near to finishing off his meal, though the brunette still saw disapproval ridden in his face, wanting to rise above the surface of his skin. Ryder's father then turned to his son, replacing his expression with a proud beam. "Ryder'll be off to Yale soon though, won't you, son?"

Ryder blushed, looking down at his food bashfully. "We don't know that, Dad. I probably won't even get in."

The boy had sent in his application to Yale for a Physics or Math major a month ago, with the help of his parents. He was desperately hoping that he'd get in, seeing as Yale had been his college aspiration since he was first aware of the aspect of college, but he knew the chances were slim. It was a lottery he despised, but all he could do was hope. Perseverance was often supplied by his proud, often boasting father, and his mother of course, but less to a degree of the arrogance his father supplied. The rest of that motivation was courtesy of Marley.

It was for this reason that the brunette wanted to flash him a warm smile, say "I know you will" and bestow a kiss on his cheek, but she couldn't. She could go as far as the first step, but that was all she had the nerve to do in front of his parents.

So, as a substitute, Richard motivated his son instead. "I'm sure you will, son."

"I wish I could help you with all the Physics stuff, but I'd probably just confuse you with how little I know." The brunette blurted out, catching everyone's attention as she joked.

She soon regretted it as Richard acknowledged the comment with a resounding "Oh…?"

The azure-eyed teenager turned to him again. "Science isn't really my thing, I guess. I probably would have failed my tests last year if it wasn't for Ryder." She admitted, grinning sheepishly, hoping she had saved her bones slightly by talking up their son.

And, once more, they began to talk about grades. Richard wasn't satisfied until he egged that B- tale out of her. Richard was a nice man, and clever, he just got so incredibly enthused by the aspect of grades – he was one of those people who prided grades, that thought you could tell people by their grade point averages; that grades meant everything.

Maybe that was what he saw when he looked at Ryder, but maybe not; maybe that was just what he saw when he looked at Marley – someone who was too passionate about cheerleading to notice that one B- on her report card.

Helen must have seen that the conversation was growing denser eventually, because she shifted the topic to Glee Club – something which, thankfully, lightened everyone's mood as they discussed the upcoming Regionals competition in April. It was months away, but that thought alone carried some of the mass of the conversation on its shoulders as everyone finished their meal, Richard and his wife clearing everyone's plates up. Ryder grabbed the momentary alone time with Marley with two hands.

"Hey," he grasped her attention, looking into her eyes as she turned on her seat towards him. "You're doing well, it's my Dad who's being super invasive."

"Your Mom's been really quiet," The brunette observed. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"Nah, she's probably just admiring you." Ryder sneered, instigating a chuckle from Marley as he kissed the corner of her mouth. Before they even had the opportunity to do something else with their time, Ryder's mother re-entered the dining room as she lay out spoons for desert. "Richard's just finishing off the desert. Do you like apple pie?"

Marley grinned. "I _love _apple pie."

"Dad's pie is amazing, you're gonna love it." Ryder assured her, grasping one of her hands and savouring her touch before he would have to be apart from her again. His mother handed out plates smaller than the ones they had used for dinner; upon depositing Ryder and Marley's plates on their places, she noted how their hands balanced between their laps, linked and holding each other firmly but softly. A smile managed to escape from her as she noticed, but assuring that they didn't notice her watching them, she sauntered off to the kitchen, averting her eyes (and her smile).

Luckily, afterwards, the evening was uphill. Ryder's mother spoke far more and, as a result, the conversation had become more easy-going and fun. As Ryder had guaranteed, the apple pie was probably the best she'd had in her life, and was a sweet, syrupy break from her diet for a change; she gushed about it at the dinner table, hoping that it would cover the wounds of Richard and Marley's relationship so far – seemingly, it did. All the density that they had met briefly before was forgotten about for a while, and the four chatted amicably whilst still learning things about Marley.

And so Marley left – with Ryder in tow, to drop her back at her house – with good thoughts, seizing the opportunity to give a _genuine _"Thanks, I had a great time meeting you both." The parents reciprocated with a similar phrase, Richard going to fetch her coat as she became taller thanks to her boots. With her coat on and final goodbyes strewn across the area of the front room, Marley soon followed Ryder into the bitter January winter with a final wave goodbye to Ryder's parents.

"That was… okay, I guess." The brunette shrugged as she sunk into the passenger seat.

"See, it wasn't so bad, was it?" Her boyfriend teased, leaning closer to her before turning back and pulling his seatbelt over his torso.

"I… guess not." Marley admitted again. "I mean, it could have gone better, but… it could have gone a lot worse."

"Good. Mediocre was all I was looking for." He joked, leaning over to his girlfriend one last time to kiss her on the cheek as she laughed, before putting the keys in the ignition and reversing out of his driveway, to her house. The car ride was mostly silent as the chestnut-haired boy turned on the radio, sensing she didn't want to talk too much as she had already just spent an entire evening doing that.

Finally, after four songs had played on the radio (or thereabouts), the two arrived at the Rose's residence. Marley sighed, preparing herself for a goodbye, before Ryder had other ideas and opened his own car door, hopping out abruptly before navigating her side, pulling open the passenger seat door, anticipating her to step out of the car, which she did. "Walking me up my porch, are we?"

"It's the least you deserve after today." He shrugged, before arriving at her doorstep, twizzling her around to face him, her back to the door as she fumbled with her keys.

"Thanks for tonight. I'm glad I got it over with, if nothing else." She chuckled, feeling herself lean closer to him.

"I'm proud of you." He told her sincerely, practically bumping foreheads with her because of their close proximity.

That comment made her guffaw. "It's not like I deserve a medal or anything – it was your first time too a few months ago."

"Yeah, but that was different. Your parents were just glad I got you through your Physics exam." He joked, smirking, earning a playful slap with both her hands on his chest.

"Hey!" She giggled, looking at him through charmingly squinted eyes, crinkling up her nose like she always did when she laughed. Soon, their aimless flirting and teasing could only last for so long as they leaned together in beautifully imperfect, uneven, slow head movements, until they blindly found each other's lips amongst the dark night, the pathetic little lanterns on either side of the front door of Marley's house as their only light. They were kissing for several minutes, just holding each other and making up for those hours earlier where they couldn't do anything, despite being in such close propinquity for hours on end. After a while, the brunette giggled. "Ryder, I have to go." She mumbled into the little air between them through kiss-swollen lips, moving her head slightly so that his planned kisses were instead donated on her cheek. A minute or so more, and a final peck was given from Marley. "Goodnight." She fumbled with her keys in the door, facing him, before waving and disappearing into her house.

Finally parking once more in his own driveway, the chestnut-haired boy locked his car and stepped surreptitiously into his house with the full intent of finding his parents and asking them what they thought of Marley, but he was halfway up the stairs when he heard two voices which saved him from any steps; any calls; any finding.

"Oh, Richard, stop complaining! She was a lovely girl."

"But really, what's shaking pompoms in Kentucky going to do for her after college? I mean, a B- in Physics?" The unmistakeable voice of his father chuckled through the lounge, and Ryder felt his blood run cold as the man he hated to call his Dad continued to rant. "And she said that if it wasn't for our Ryder, she would have flunked!"

"See, he's _helping _her. As his parents, we should support that-" Ryder could hear his mother attempting to stand up for their relationship, but it was cut off by Richard once more.

"But what exactly is the reciprocation there? He's helping her pass finals, and what? I mean, she seems very lovely, but I can't help but think that she'll be a bad influence on him at the end of it. Remember that Halloween when he was in junior year? He came home drunk! Never in my entire _life _have I seen our son drunk, Helen. But he was wobbling and slurring, and all because of a party that _she'd _invited him to. Doesn't that make you wonder?"

"Well, maybe, but you don't have to dig at _her_ for it – maybe it was Ryder who got too excited or something. You seem to have this perfect image of him, but he's still a teenager, honey; he still has flaws, and you need to recognise that before blaming someone you barely know-" Helen's calming, soothing tone tried to remind her husband of his madness.

"I'm not saying she wasn't lovely, and polite, and charming, but I'm just trying to face the facts here, honey. Ryder will be off to college soon, and I think he just needs to know that maybe he's worth more." The boy in question gritted his teeth as he overheard their conversation. He had spent more than a year slaving over her, and now he's worth more? "I think someone just needs to give him that extra push, or he needs to find someone with independence, or someone more similar to him. He wants to study Maths; Physics; read more books – she's probably just that typical teenage girl who loves cheerleading and parties." Ryder turned on his feet. "I mean, with a Daddy like Lawrence Rose, how can someone turn out like that?"

"Maybe because people aren't their parents?" Ryder walked into the room, interrupting their conversation to find his tall father standing up with a glass of red wine, his mother sitting down with hers. They looked at him with amazement spread across their faces. Ryder walked casually into the room, even though he had a red hot anger hidden deep inside him. "And I know she got a B- that one time on a Physics paper because her grandmother had died and she couldn't really focus on school, but I don't think she even expected her _own _parents to worry about that. So why should you?"

His father took a step towards his son, gingerly and slowly. "Son…"

"And maybe she used to party a lot and drink, and maybe she loves to shop, and she's sarcastic, and she's more enthusiastic about cheerleading than basically all of her other school subjects, and she _would have _flunked that Physics test, and those Math tests, and even that English test on _Wuthering Heights _if I didn't help her on them, and maybe she has a walk-in wardrobe in her house which could practically be a mansion, but you know what? Guess what she was doing for hours on end last night whilst on the phone to me." He didn't give his parents any time to actually guess, leaving it a rhetorical question as he used it as an excuse to breathe instead (he hardly ever stood up to his parents). "She was in that walk-in wardrobe in a state, trying to find something perfect to wear that wasn't too formal, or too easy, or too casual, so she could try and get you two to like her. Hours she spent, just on the phone to me, fretting about how you might react just if she walked through the door wearing blue instead of red, or jeans instead of a skirt. And after I finally got her to relax and calm down, you know what she said to me? She said _"Thanks for not leaving me and giving me parents to meet in the first place"_. So if you _dare _say she's not good enough for me, you need to rethink things."

The longest silence reigned over as another step proceeded from Ryder's father. "Ryder…" He carefully tried to speak again in a more warning tone – he was not used to his son sticking up for himself.

"All I wanted you to do was at least _try _to like her." The teenage boy chuckled, though the humour lacked. "But you just _had_ to make her uncomfortable and scared with your abundance of questions on college, and school, and grade point averages. And I would have understood if you didn't want me to date someone who flunked every exam they were given, but I _never, ever _expected you to react like _that._ I can only hope that the next time you see her you make more of an effort, because right now, I think she's struggling to see the nice, caring, good side of you."

He considered leaving it there for the longest time as the silence took over from the absence of words; in the end, he thought he'd seize the opportunity and pack one final punch: "And I guess that makes two of us."

* * *

**We made it! Gosh, 11,000 words. I need to chill.**

**For any of those looking for a visual, you can find Marley's parent-meeting outfit in my bio, as well as her headband in the beginning of the story!**

**I don't know about you guys, but for Ryder's mother I'm picturing Sally Hawkins (she's British, but I've recently seen her in **_**Blue Jasmine**_** and she does an amazing American accent for that!). As for Ryder's father, I see Tom Selleck or a kind of Bart Johnson-looking guy.**

**Until next time (hopefully not over a month?),**

**Beth :-)**


	8. The Dark January

**Yaaaas, I updated sooner! Sorry if this chapter has a few mistakes – the first week of school killed. A lot. I am so exhausted, you don't even know.**

**Please read the A/N at the bottom. You might find a few hints for upcoming chapters too…**

**Oh, and sorry for the angst.**

* * *

Ryder bit the inside of his mouth as to prevent his real emotions escaping his current, firm grasp – nonetheless, that hand inside his mind keeping his emotions under captivity was weakening; trembling; dying to tell her what he really thought of her recent actions. She had been spending time with _them _an awful lot more lately, and even though he was well aware that it isn't particularly healthy for couples to spend every waking second within each other's presence, he couldn't help his own jealousy. After all, they had hurt him – physically and mentally – for years, until now. His club still got pushed into lockers, or teased in the hallways, but there was a considerable lack of violence in general; only one slushy had been thrown this year. He assumed that it was because of her. And now, ever since that incident on that afternoon that they performed in front of the entire student body, people were well aware of what Marley Rose could do if someone _did _lay a hand on the Glee Club – especially Ryder. The sportsmen and women – the popular, happening people of McKinley – were as much on the Glee Club's side as was possible without risking their stellar reputations.

So why was his girlfriend still hanging out with them so much?

Her appearances at that table of white and red had increased as the weeks progressed. Now nearing the end of January – already the most depressing month of the year, as usually expected – she was spending alternate lunchtimes with the pack. He always asked her why, but these last few days it had been even harder to withstand his composure. He always knew what the answer was, but that didn't stop him.

"It's just to get on their good side, so they don't do bad things to you or the Glee Club again, babe. And maybe I can actually explain to them that Glee Club is sort of cool, you know?"

Ryder would say that he knew. And then came her usual farewell: a kiss – sometimes on the cheek, sometimes on the lips, depending on who was around and how wounded he looked – and an "I love you", as if she knew that he needed to be reminded of that. In all honesty, he did.

But today was different. After kissing him on the cheek; after saying those three words, something beyond Ryder's usual reaction wavered. She sounded much more… vulnerable. She didn't just kiss him and leave - like she usually did – with a smile on her face, nonetheless. She hesitated this time, as if she was waiting for him to say something else; _do _something else. Ryder sighed, thinking he knew what had been bothering her. Getting the jocks and cheerleaders on the Glee Club's side wasn't an excuse that she even believed _herself _anymore – there was something else, something on another level. He thought he knew. "Marley… is this about the thing… with my dad?"

Marley bit her lip at that comment – maybe she had expected him to suggest that, and that's why she hesitated. But why? Why did she hesitate over a topic she desperately wanted to leave in the past? "Uh…" She pondered, looking into his eyes as she became hypnotised into the matter, her bright blue gaze intensifying. "I don't know." She murmured, almost soft enough to be a whisper, but there was urgency in her tone. She wanted _him _to know. Besides, he had given her reasons why she shouldn't be bothered by it, that night.

"_Boy, have I missed you." She giggled, reaching for his shoulders again and squeezing them lovingly. It had been two days since they had last seen each other._

_The brown-haired boy obviously wanted to remind her of this, so he chuckled. "Mar, it's been two days."_

"_I know." She shrugged, looking to the side with an expression of carelessness. "But I wasn't really _with _you then. It was like we could have been in separate rooms, like there was invisible glass between us. The only time I could speak to you were when your parents weren't there." She spoke as if she was in that room again, those two days ago, her voice as hushed as it would have been, had she dared to speak to Ryder with Helen and Richard still present._

"_You could have spoken to me, you know." He chuckled again, taking her hands from where they were dangling in between the couple's bodies as she sat on his lap, smoothing the soft, pale skin over with his thumb. "They knew we were dating, you didn't have to feel awkward."_

"_I know." She said for the second time that day. "I was just… nervous, you know, that they would talk if I did anything that they thought was… open, or something. I was just worried that they'd say things about what I did… yeah." She poorly tried to explain, but Ryder understood._

_He just didn't want to tell her that what she was worried about, actually _happened_._

_The boy nodded. "I know, but you did it. You've met them. And now it's all over-with." He raised his eyebrows as if to demonstrate to her spirits. Her mood did lift, thankfully._

"_Yeah." She breathed, as if she had been holding her breath for an age. The brunette lowered her head to his, pausing for a moment to kiss his nose softly, and drawing back as an important question made itself present in her mind. "And… what did they think of me?"_

_Ryder's heart rate quickened. He grinned, deciding that he could play with the fibres of truth slightly and tell her the good news first, then make up some more good news to replace the discontentment of his father. "My mom _loves _you. She thinks you're really nice, and clever, and that you're very pretty." All true, and his mother had made it very clear upon finding him in his room later that night, after watching the quarrel of her husband and her only son. _

_Marley's nervous smile had been promoted to an impossibly wide beam, filled with hope; relief; gratitude. She leant down further and cozied her head in the __crook __of his neck. "I heard her say that I was pretty." She mumbled into the sensitive skin of his neck, wrapping her arms around his torso as he adjusted himself beneath her strewn-out legs, reattaching his hands to her hips softly. She sighed contentedly into his skin, forcing a shiver up his spine – a shiver of relief, but he knew what her next question would be, and he was still contemplating how to approach it. It finally came: "And what about your Dad, huh? What did he think of me?" She no longer sounded nervous, though. She breathed the words out in a content slur, and he could feel her grinning against his neck. She was expecting good news._

_No, he couldn't lie to her. He wouldn't dare play with those fibres of truth anymore, now that she had reacted as giddily as she had. He tensed up beneath her. The truth would hurt her. All of her fears, all of her concerns would haunt her again, only this time, she would have to live with the fact that they were true. It wouldn't matter to her if it was only his father – it was one of two people, and that was enough to have her spiralling into crippling sorrow. But he couldn't lie to her._

_She must have sensed the tension which arrived, or felt the way his jaw had tensed, or his hands had clenched into an uneasy fist, because she moved her head off his shoulder and looked at him from where she was. "What?" She mumbled, her voice growing fragile, that grin completely fading from her face. He still couldn't speak. "What is it?"_

_And even as she rose all the way up until their eyes met, he bit his lip and clenched his jaw, and didn't mutter a word. Her slouched, relaxed body began to straighten, her eyes returning to that intense gaze. "Oh." She whispered, that moment of easiness having long abandoned them now. Her hands straying from his torso completely as she travelled further into that trance of realisation. "H…He doesn't…?"_

"_Marley…" Was all Ryder could say. A frank 'No, he doesn't.' would have been fine, if only her eyes weren't glossing over; if only Ryder hadn't been Ryder – if only Ryder wasn't himself and had traded lives with someone who could be frank to begin with._

"_Well?" She snapped now, her voice considerably raised from its fragile purr as her eyes became frantic and more intense. _

_Ryder gulped, just looking at her. She seemed so scared - she visibly attempted swallowing down her fear, but it didn't work. Ryder shuffled slightly so that he could see her clearer, before drifting his gaze to her décolletage, close to where her peony necklace lay. "I'm sorry."_

_Marley looked at him, and her eyes softened. He didn't mean for this to happen as much as _she _didn't mean for this to happen. He was as cautious as she had been, this entire time – he just played it out better, lending her the illusion that he was confident. She saw all that now as her vision went blurry. She didn't want to cry, but she couldn't seem to absorb those tears back into her eyes. "What did he say?" She smacked her lips together so they looked like a horizontal line, before pursing them, like she always did when she was vulnerable. _

_Ryder knew he couldn't lie, so he alternatively dodged detail and opted to speak positively first. "He thought you were lovely, and polite, and charming-"_

"_No, he didn't." Marley refused to believe him as she rolled her glossy eyes, before landing them on him. Her tears pleaded for the truth, threatening to fall from her eyes if he failed to do this._

"_He did, I promise. He thought you were lovely, and polite, and charming. It's just… he also thought that you…" He bit the inside of his mouth. He couldn't do it._

_But she wanted him to tell her – no – he _needed _him to tell her. "That I what?"_

_Ryder sighed, pausing after every comment. "That you weren't achieving as much as he thought you should be… that cheerleading isn't a good career move… that we're too opposite… that… that our relationship is one-sided… that you're… spoilt."_

_A silence inevitably made itself flexible to fit around the space that Marley's words were unable to fill, and Ryder couldn't help but look at her – his sniffling, vacant girlfriend – and how her expression stayed in stone, seemingly forever. She didn't look back at him. She seemed suddenly mesmerised by his sweater. Many times, she looked like she was going to say something, but she never did… until a minute or so after the deafening, agonising silence. Having known her for over a year, he struggled to recall a time when her voice was more fragile than it was right then as she spoke: "I c-can… I can work… on that."_

_Ryder clenched his jaw once more – he was struggling to believe that his father had made his girlfriend want to adjust herself to fit his ugly, illogical ideals. It made his grudge against the man only grow. He forced his face to soften, though, before she could see that it had tensed up; he then hooked his index finger under her chin and led her gaze towards him. "No, no, don't. Please don't. My dad's a total jerk, and you don't need to change yourself to fit his dumb standards. You don't need to change for _anyone_, Marley. Please."_

"_But I need to make myself good enough for you." She spluttered in a slightly louder tone, partly mocking Ryder's father, but partly believing it. _Mostly _believing it._

"_No, you don't. You don't need to do anything. It's my dad who needs to make amends, not you." Ryder assured, stroking her waist and hips upon impulse – his brain had been trained to know that she loved it; that it calmed her. He wanted so desperately to calm her. She gave him a look that said she had acknowledged his attempts of soothing her, but that she was upset nonetheless because she felt so unbelievably useless to him now. He felt the need to assure her that his father's opinions were in no way similar to _his _opinions, so he did._

_But afterwards, her whole body still felt numbed with pain, making her head throb and her throat sore as she failed to conceal a whimper from him. The first tear fell from her left eye, although Ryder had kissed it away before it had reached the bottom of her cheek. At this point, Marley scoffed at herself because she was probably being so overdramatic, but deep down, she was well aware that parents not liking her; parents judging her, was probably one of her biggest fears. Her words became muffled and broken. "I j-ust wanted the-m to like m-e…" _

"_I know you did, Mar. And it could be a lot worse, but my Mom loves you. So that's one little victory that you have to try to remember." Ryder cooed, brushing the second tear away with his thumb – this one came down with a black tint, from her mascara._

"_I'm trying t-o…" She bit her bottom lip as it trembled, Ryder's recollection of his father's opinions swirling around in her brain. "I'm… s-spoilt?" She looked back up at him, her breathing growing heavier._

_Ryder swore he felt his heart skip a beat at how unbelievably wounded she sounded. "No, of course you're not." He whispered into her forehead now that she had bowed her head in worry and shame. The boy could feel her smuggle whimpers into his sweater. _

_Minutes of crying followed. At first, she tried to hide them, so not to bother him, but Ryder placed one of his hands on her back and began rubbing up and down. She saw that as some sort of escape, and slowly gave into louder, choked-out sobs. It made him want to cry himself, because she was so incredibly broken – what if this triggered something to happen to them? What if his stupid father had just sacrificed Ryder's relationship with Marley – someone he believed to be the love of his life? No, he couldn't cry, no matter how much he wanted to at _that _thought along with everything else – he had to be strong, especially now, for her. _

_It was, with much relief, that they found a lighter moment. "Ryder?" Marley mumbled, lifting her head to look up at him. _

"_Yeah?" The boy in question had replied, looking down to her as he caressed her cheek with his thumb, wiping away run mascara as he moulded his lips to her forehead for a moment, softly._

_She sniffed, choking out her words. "I think I got slobber on your sweater."_

_And they laughed. The brunette girl giggled, crinkling up her nose as she fell into the crook of his neck again, now with a lighter mood. Ryder rocked her in his lap, caressing her waist as the two became serene for a moment._

_Moments had passed, and the boy thought that she might have fallen asleep (her breathing against his neck was no longer hitched, but instead drew long, quiet breaths, in and out), so it was with surprise that she spoke again. "What are we gonna do?"_

_Ryder bit his lip. "I don't know. But I'll tell you what we're not going to do."_

"_Yeah?" She spoke keenly, wrapping one arm around his torso again, longing to know what his theory was. Maybe it could lead them to a way out of the gloomy, dark space they were in now. _

_Ryder sighed, feeling Marley's body move with him as he exhaled. "We're not going to let the opinions of my dumbass father change anything. You don't have to speak to him ever again, if you want. I just need you to promise me that this won't affect us."_

_Marley bit her lip. She knew then that it might be harder at the beginning to keep that promise, but she realised: Ryder was Ryder, and Richard was Richard. The only way they could be similar was because of their DNA. She leaned up and kissed his jaw, as softly as her clumsy, cry-swollen lips could muster, but with passion. "I promise." She said eventually._

"No." She became resilient from thinking of that awful occurrence, snapping back into reality with her eyes fluttering to the floor of the cafeteria, before looking up at him again. He could see through her lies, no matter how much he had wanted to hear her say them. He had wanted her to tell the truth more. "I promised you that was never going to be the reason, remember?" She arched her eyebrows, her expression suggesting things but offering nothing. "It's not that." She said, her eyes accidentally falling – as they always seemed to, these days – on Tina, ever glaring. Marley struggled to even remember why she had a grudge anymore. Maybe Tina believed that everyone had given into Marley's new personality too quickly; maybe she was afraid that it was all another scam. Paranoia haunted the school, and she could see that in Tina – she could even see it within herself.

She could definitely see it in Ryder.

"Then… what is it?" Her boyfriend cooed, ever concerned. But Marley couldn't say what it was – she couldn't just tell him that her and one of his friends were at each other's necks lately, and that she was, frankly, scared to sit with her - not only was she scared, she was worried as hell that if they did sit together, things would lead to violence. The one thing her and the brown-eyed girl had in common was their brattish impatience, especially in the company of their enemies.

Marley bit the inside of her mouth, quickly sculpting words in her head. "Don't worry about it, seriously. I'm sorting it out tomorrow anyways, and then I'll get to spend more time with you." She smiled, watching as Ryder reciprocated her look but also physically flattened himself in front of her. He wanted that reason so he could fix her, but Marley needed to fix this feud herself – and she would later, she meant that. She was very conscious of the fact that she and Ryder hadn't seen each other much since that fateful afternoon after that equally fateful evening with his parents, and prayed that he didn't think anything of it. Wishful thinking, of course, but it was still in her prayers to any God that would listen.

The "popular" crowd (and she hated to call it that now) were ever enticing, and they _were _still her friends – well, almost all of them – so spending time with them wasn't a drag by any means… she just wished that her boyfriend was allowed. That way, she could have the best of both worlds, but there was no point in trying to ignore the Romeo and Juliet reality: if the jocks mixed with the Glee Club, the repercussions could be endless. She hoped that one day she could be a bridge for the two groups, but it was, again, wishful thinking.

And so Marley sighed, her brain instantly trying to conjure up some kind of compromise; upon finding it, an impossibly wide smirk made its appearance across her face. "What if I were to make up all time lost this week with a dinner at Breadstixx on Friday night? On me?" She bit her lip, hoping with everything in her that he would accept her poor apology.

He grinned, before that look transformed into a teasing sneer. "Sure, I'll take you up on that offer."

Marley became her perky self again, giddily rocking within her stance, balancing between the balls of her feet and her tiptoes, before nodding. "Good. See you later, okay?" Finally steadying herself on her tiptoes, she gave him a passionate peck on the lips, using Ryder's chest as something to keep her stable as she placed one hand on his chest, one hand still holding her lunch tray (which now stood between them) and holding the kiss for a second or two, before pulling away, grinning widely and swaying off to the jock's lunch table.

Once again, Ryder had no choice but to watch her go.

* * *

The next day, Marley found herself occupied by some kind of nerves. Strange, seeing as this was the girl she had unmistakeable power over this time last year; nerves nonetheless. She really needed to at least _attempt _this apology, but if she said any sort of amicability with the girl would be a gain on her behalf, she would be lying through her teeth.

Finally shutting her locker, ensuring her backpack was, in fact, on her back and filled with the books she would need for homework, the brunette sauntered across the hallway as her high ponytail swung from side to side behind her. "Hey." She half-yelled as she met the Asian girl at her locker - the girl in question was sorting out books and folders.

Upon hearing the call and recognising the face in front of her, she rolled her chocolate brown eyes. "Look, I don't have time for insults. Some of us actually have to go home on time?"

Marley huffed – God, this would be even harder than she thought. "I didn't come over here to insult you, Cohen-Chang. I just wanted to… talk."

"_Talk_?" Tina guffawed. "Since when have you ever wanted to talk to me?"

Marley rolled her eyes. _Oh my God, This girl had to be more of a bitch than Bree. _"I just wanted to…" _Say it. Come on, you're doing this for Ryder. _"…apologise. About saying things, and threatening to hurt you, and then almost _actually _hurting you, and for calling you 'Harajuku Girl'. That wasn't nice. I just want to make amends."

"Again…" Tina sneered. "When have _you _ever wanted to make amends?"

Marley fought the urge to grab that girl's head right then, and slam it against a locker. One thing the girl hated, probably even more than _Wuthering Heights _(and that was saying something) was being misunderstood, or mistaken for her past self. She just needed to drill into the girl's head somehow that _that wasn't her anymore._ "Listen, psycho: I'm not doing this for you, okay? Hell, I'm not even doing it for me – not that much, anyway. I'm doing this for Ryder. I've kept my distance from you for weeks, and you might have looked intimidating once, but I always get the last word. My word is that I want to sit on the Glee Club table again without feeling uncomfortable, and I won't bore you _or _give you the luxury of knowing what's happened in mine and Ryder's life recently, but all I'm gonna say is that I'm particularly wounded right now, and if I don't spend more time with Ryder, _pronto_ – even at lunch – I might stay that way for ever. Now, that probably wouldn't affect you – in fact, you'd probably be over the moon if I was vulnerable permanently, but we're seniors now. We need to be mature. And maybe I'm not used to monogamy, or apologies-"

"Certainly not good at apologies…" Tina observed. Marley emitted the quietest growl ever heard.

"All I'm trying to say is that we should try and be around each other without wanting to rip each other's heads off. We need to take the high road, and that means bearing to be around each other no matter how bad we want to pelt out the insults, okay? I'm trying to change, but I won't be able to do that if you keep getting in the way, so maybe you can find your humanity – the gooey stuff that I know _has_ to be there _somewhere_ – and accept my apology. And God, I know I'm bad at this, but… you're in Glee Club. And so am I. And apparently that's family, and we should look out for each other, and… yeah. I'm really sorry for all the crap I made you deal with." She smacked her lips together, crossing fingers in her mind that her God-awful apology would prove acceptable to the girl in front of her.

Tina looked at her for a while, seeming confused, before shrugging. "Okay."

Marley squinted. She actually couldn't believe what had just happened in front of her eyes, and knitted her brows together in misunderstanding. "_Okay_?" She hissed. "I apologise to you, _personally_, and tell you that we're _family_, and all you say is "_okay_"? No "I'm sorry too", no hug, no smile, nothing?"

"Look:" It was the brown-eyed girl's turn to explain herself. "We obviously don't like each other, and one tiny apology isn't going to smooth over all of those scars from years gone by. So you can roll your eyes at me, and bitch, and moan, because I'm past the point of caring now – _I'm_ being the mature one here. Your mess from junior year is _your _mess, not mine. And lunch tables aren't going to make a difference for whatever you two star-crossed lovers are going through – for all I care, move to the popular table permanently. I mean, the rest of the Glee Club seemed to kiss the ground you walk on almost instantly after you joined, but I am _never _going to forget how you made me feel – and, on top of it all, you _stole _our star performer for yourself."

Marley was speechless at that point. "Wh..._what_?!"

"That's right! Probably the most logical reason why we didn't win Nationals last year was because of Ryder's lacked focus – he was too busy focusing on his love triangle between you and Katie that he lost all feeling in his solo. And on top of that, you had the nerve to backflip into our club like a freaking saviour, and then break Ryder and Katie up?"

"I never broke Ryder and Katie up." Marley hissed. "They did that happily amongst _themselves_. And, for the record, that was _never _your business."

"But you still stole Ryder from me – from _us_. That day you almost pounded me in Glee before Mr Schue walked in, Ryder stuck up for _you_. He even said "_don't sink to her level". _A year ago, he would have said that to _me _about _you_, not the other way around!" She retorted.

"Things change! Why can't you just drill that into your head?" Marley spat, now past anger and instead moving onto actual _disgust _at what her colleague was saying.

Tina smirked – she was enjoying being the manipulative one; seeing how the tables had turned. "I'm just saying what everyone else in that room is thinking."

Marley's eyes widened, her face now revealing symptoms of dejection. "How do you know that?"

"I just do. I mean, it's obvious. Once you inevitably ditch Ryder, and the Glee Club, they'll return from their brainwashed state and finally give into those thoughts. For now, though, you're just living a pretty little lie." Tina snickered.

Marley gritted her teeth. "Well bad news, Bird Flu: I'm not ditching. Ever. So you'll just have to…" She raised her voice, seriously considering grabbing her by the neck of her stupid, good-girl chiffon dress and hurtling her into the locker opposite, but a memory seeped into her mind. She could almost feel Ryder's hand pressed against her stomach again, telling her that she is worth so much more than violence – reminding her that one punch and she'll be waving college (and, along with it, her hopes and dreams) goodbye. Another thought arose: What would Ryder's father think? That question had been taunting her more and more lately, no matter what she was doing, but now it asked her that question with so much more urgency. That offer of an English major; that cheerleading scholarship she had been gushing about over rice and shrimp weeks before would be history, and then what? Richard wouldn't be able to deal with Ryder dating a Lima-Loser while he made plans of going to Yale. She unclamped her fists, relaxing her hands and her face, giving into what seemed like a defeat, but was really only doing the right thing.

"I'll just have to what?" Tina mocked her cowardice.

Marley smirked. "You'll just have to cope with being around me until we get out of this hellhole. Apology or not, you've stopped me for long enough. And maybe one day you'll seek revenge, and maybe you still think I need 'a taste of my own medicine', but I don't care. You've forgotten how to forgive and forget, and if you still think that you're being mature, take a long, hard look in the mirror. Because honey, you're nothing but pathetic, immature and _bitter_." Leaving Tina gasping, she began walking away, a smirk finding its way onto her face as an impulse. She slipped her thumbs between her uniform and the straps of her backpack and, turning around one last time, she packed the final punch: "Oh, and hasn't someone told you that collar dresses are totally out? And, I mean, knee-high socks were never in anyway…" The azure-eyed girl drifted her gaze up and down Tina's outfit choice provokingly.

She finally felt the restraints loosen on her body as she turned back forward and exited McKinley – the weight of those chains, those limitations, leaving her finally after weeks of captivity. Maybe she didn't make amends, and maybe she should watch out for Tina's revenge, but she was no longer afraid. She was free. She could no longer be trodden on.

Confidence and growing popularity again? Marley Rose was rising from her ashes, and she hoped desperately that Ryder would rise with her.

* * *

**Not as many as 11,000 words, but a lot still happened xD I just wanted to say sorry to any Tina fans out there, I did kind of make her a bit of a bitch in this story, but I do think Tina is quite bossy and moody on the show, and I needed to exaggerate that for this story. Sorry.**

**Please review and tell me what you thought! My chapters aren't getting as many reviews as they used to anymore, and I've pretty much planned all the story and all the chapters out, so if you don't think it's worthwhile that I continue, please let me know so I don't bore you all to death xD I'd love to continue with this story and have grown a great attachment to it, but at the end of the day it's all for the readers :-)**

**Things are beginning to get rocky on the Ryley front, too. Expect a fluffy chapter next (the Valentine's Day chapter! Yeah, not exactly parallel to real life with the planning), but you might want to buckle your seatbelts for the bumpy ride after that one…. Without revealing too much :P**

**Until next time,**

**Beth :-)**


	9. The Apologetic Valentine's

**I thought you guys deserved a momentary break from the angst, so here: a Valentine's Day chapter. Hope you enjoy, and please review! :-) Also, there's a song in this one, so…**

_Italics – Ryder_

**Bold – Marley**

_**Both – Both.**_

* * *

Those past few weeks had been tonnes on her shoulders, aching her with every day, every moment she saw his smile quickly fade to defeat. Every time she had turned down another one of his hopeful – yet more and more naïve – offers for her to sit with them. For the first few days after her outburst with her colleague, she sat with the club with no interruptions, but then returned the tug of war relationship she had tried to ignore between the two clubs, and she always fell into the middle, becoming that ever-desired flag for the teams to win.

"_Hey, Mar." A fellow Cheerio – Lana – approached the brunette. She was slightly taller and her ponytail was even higher, with skin as pale as edelweiss but her hair a winter midnight. Fitting, as the two were currently standing underneath the sky's grasp outside McKinley, after a particularly taxing cheerleading practice, which went on until 6 in the evening. And Marley still had homework to do._

_The smaller brunette turned on her heel and, upon seeing the brunette, smiled. "Hey. What's up?"_

_The girl chuckled. "I have my work cut out for me. Thirteen guys are kissing the ground I walk on, hoping I'll give them a chance now that we're approaching _you-know-what_…"_

"…_And what is it this time? Why are none of these guys fitting?" Marley raised her eyebrows, knowing Lana very well: she was beautiful and popular, and – unlike how Marley used to be – wouldn't just pick any guy with a letterman jacket; she was looking for certain characteristics. Everyone knew her as the hard-to-get popular girl._

"_Well… they all have fundamental flaws. You see, half of them are God-awful kissers, and then the others are, like, I don't know… it doesn't feel right. You know?" Lana sighed in frustration before ending her sentence with a smirk, moving her hand around in her Cheerios bag before grasping her hands on some gum, handing some over to Marley before she even asked. She appeared sceptical. "Don't worry, babe. It's sugar free."_

_Marley popped the pieces into her mouth, chewing for a few serene seconds before smirking and turning back to Lana. "And what about the other Neanderthals, huh? What about them? I'm sure _any_ guy would feel privileged to be in the arms of Lana Sanderson this Valentine's Day..." _

_The taller girl giggled, before sighing, chewing on her gum for a while as the spearmint aroma wafted around the two girls. She contemplated things. "I don't know. I think for my last Valentine's Day as a high schooler, I don't want it to be just _anybody_, you know?"_

_Marley grinned to herself – She and this girl had a lot in common. "I know."_

"_Like… you and Bieber. I mean, sure, he doesn't have a letterman jacket and he probably breaks like a pretzel, but… he seems sweet. He's a forever guy. Where do you s'pose I can get me one of those?" Lana spoke into the cold air in front of her, listening to the sound of nearby traffic and watching the lights that came with the cars that drove by, wriggling her toes in her white sneakers as her gaze drifted to the orange hue that came from the streetlights. _

_Marley snickered. "One thing I've learnt is that you can find forever guys in the weirdest of places. I mean, there's a guy in Glee Club called Sam... Tall, blond, not even remotely bi-curious, good singer and dancer, _huge _lips… I think you two would make a cute couple." Marley bounced the words off her tongue as she looked at Lana, who giggled._

"_I'll see how it goes with these thirteen other guys first." A silence chased after their laughs and soon held them captive for a while, so it was with surprise when Lana spoke, almost gingerly, to the brunette again. "How's it going with you two anyway – you and Care Bear?"_

_Marley bit the corner of her mouth. "You _actually_ want to know?"_

_Lana simpered. "You've been dating this guy publicly for five months, Mar. Why wouldn't I want to know the dirt?"_

_The cerulean-eyed cheerleader turned her head to her grey-eyed friend, giggling, before a sigh took over her. "It's going great, I g-guess…" She felt obliged to say next: "I mean, I met his parents last month."_

"_Well shit," Lana spoke expressionlessly, as if she was surprised that Marley was making such a small deal out of it. "And how did that go?"_

"_Okay…" Marley bit her lip. "His mom loves me. His dad kind of hates my guts." She was still so overwhelmed that Lana wanted to know about her relationship with some nobody – it was something no one had ever asked about before._

_Lana grimaced, before lapsing once again into laughter. "Damn… are you two okay though?"_

_Marley smiled, thinking about the last few days. Days when she could sit next to him, fumbling with his hand under the lunch table, laughing with him in the company of his – and her – friends, even sitting on his lap a few times as they bestowed kisses on the other person's cheek when people had turned a blind eye. She looked down at the hard tarmac beneath her as it shimmered lightly with the glow of streetlights and dew. "Yeah, we're awesome. Especially these past few days or so."_

_The dark-haired Cheerio gave a smile – a genuine one – a rare occurrence within her high school career. "Cute. Is that why you've been at his table at lunch more often?"_

_And Marley couldn't say _"No, I just gave his menacing little bitch of a friend a talking to and I loosened the reins a bit" _– especially not in front of Lana. She would think of Marley as weak; Ryder didn't even know of the feud between her and Tina – how could she let a friend from the opposing side in on this secret mismatch of opinions? Instead, she sighed, before slapping on a grin. "Yeah, I guess so."_

_Lana, again, tried to fight a grin, inevitably failing. She soon turned it into a smirk. "Alright, Rose. Just don't let your boyfriend keep you from _our_ table at lunch too often, alright?" _

_Marley scolded herself. "No…" She mumbled, forcing a chuckle out of her lips. "Of course not."_

Ever since that night, she had gone back to that 50/50 relationship which she loathed between the show choir and the stars of the school. Ryder's face had fallen even more than it had before when she rejected his offers again, promising him something new every time she had to refuse, explaining that it wasn't her, it was her friends. It was nothing for him to worry about, she would explain. He would nod, but the twinkle in his eyes had been painted on. It became weaker with every refusal, to the point where he didn't even bother walking up to her and asking for her anymore, instead watching her from where his table was as she greeted her friends with smiles and laughs. He could feel her slipping out of his grasp so easily, and he hated that. Especially after his shirts had been stained with her makeup, his mouth had been stained by her lipstick, and the back of his eyelids had practically been tattooed with her name.

It was for these reasons that, when the cheerleader in question made herself comfortable on a chair next to Ryder in the cafeteria with a swish of white and red, he simply looked at her and her lunch tray in awe for moments on end, before stuttering out a "H-Hi."

Marley looked at him, his stuttering making it clear to her that he was surprised. She hated that. She had been apart for him for so long that sitting with him one day had made him awestruck. She grinned, vowing to reduce her lunching with the jocks to once a week, before grabbing his chin and pressing a loving kiss to his lips – again, to his surprise, before he began kissing back. She didn't care as she felt the Glee Club's eyes on them, pulling apart after a few seconds before taking the moment to admire his blushing face. "Hi."

"Wh…" He attempted to speak as his friends looked at the couple bemusedly. "What are you doing here?"

Marley, for a second, became deeply saddened. Had she been absent for so long that he hadn't wanted her there anymore? Was her absence so long that he had just assumed that she would never come back? Those were never her intentions – she was just spending time with the 'popular' group, although now she struggled to find a different meaning behind it other than keeping her old friends happy, and keeping her new friends slushy-free. She had always wanted to be a bridge between them, but not like this. _Never _like this. The sapphire-gazed brunette smirked though, and raised an eyebrow somewhat seductively, grasping his large, clammy hand and weaving her fingers in between the spaces between his own. "Why wouldn't I be here?"

"Maybe he forgot what you looked like, you know, with you being at _that _table so much." Tina spoke into her soup.

Marley cut her a glance, deciding instead to ignore her. Tina Cohen-Chang wasn't worth a second of her time anymore. She turned her head back to Ryder, rolling her eyes and then smiling as he began to do the same. "What do you suppose Saturday is?"

Ryder seemed confused for a second, but his disordered expression soon adapted into a cunning grin. "Might it be Valentine's Day?"

The brunette giggled. "And guess who's going to make up for all the time we've lost together with a special surprise?"

"You don't have to do that…" Ryder breathed.

"Yes, I do." Marley replied in an instant. "Please, let me celebrate our first Valentine's Day together – how about you come over to my house and the surprise will take place there?"

Ryder sighed. "What about_ my_ house? I don't want you doing all the work."

"I swear it's at my house, okay? I wouldn't want to trouble anyone." She struggled with trying to conceal that _"anyone" _meant Ryder's dad, as he sunk back, but with a grin still present across his features.

"So," Ryder beamed. "What are we gonna do?"

"Oh, no, no, no." Marley smirked, averting her attention to her salad as she speared a piece of cucumber and lettuce with her fork. "It's a surprise... And can we agree on no presents? Otherwise I'll totally freak out. It was bad enough at Christmas."

To that, Ryder's beam became impossibly wider as it twisted into a teasing sneer. "I can't make any promises, Rose."

"Hey!" Marley gasped, returning her gaze to view him, where she was met with the sight of him leaning closer, capturing the bridge of her nose in a soft peck, triggering a giggle as she scrunched up her nose in the process. She ignored the scoff and eye roll from Tina that she caught in the corner of her eye, and the agreeing look which the girl and Sugar exchanged, opting to focus her attention on her food and shake instead with her hand underneath the table, caressing Ryder's knee. He was worth the annoyance thrust upon her by Tina and the pressure she often received from the jocks and Cheerios, and she'd prove that to him on Saturday.

* * *

"So it was really good, huh?" Marley inspected her nails as she spoke the words in a rather monotonous tone, pressing her iPhone against her ear and cheek. Of course, Ryder had been on a trip that day (selected by his Physics teacher to be one of the few people attending) to go and see lectures at the University of Lima, including some semi-famous physicist; he had come away from the event in a buzz and, as a consequence, phoned his girlfriend up immediately upon returning home, just as she was doing the same after yet another strenuous Cheerios practice. She had tried to seem excited at first – she really had – as she matched his hyper and lively tone, but the exhaustion of the practice and the rest of the day's events had finally collapsed onto her shoulders all at once, as her eyelids grew heavier with every blink.

"Mar, you wouldn't _believe_. This guy talked about The Doppler Effect for minutes before going super philosophical about it. It was _awesome_. And the way he described stuff, wow…" Ryder admired in an almost smitten tone, into the receiver.

Due to her exhausted state, the brunette couldn't help but chuckle. "Wow, Ry. Maybe you should be hanging out with _him _on Valentine's Day instead…"

Her boyfriend let out a thin laugh. "Sorry, it's just that-" the line went silent all of a sudden, Marley beginning to ponder over what had happened within the space of about two seconds, about to call his name, before the eighteen-year-old returned back to the line with a curse. "Crap… have I really been talking for _forty-five minutes _about my trip?"

Marley scrunched her eyebrows together and tore her phone away from her cheek for a millisecond, inspecting the call duration, before chuckling once more. "Seems like it, babe."

"I'm sorry." Ryder almost whispered as a guilty tone washed over his voice. "So… how was _your _day?"

The sapphire-eyed girl bit her lip, grunting slightly as she sank into the mattress of her double bed, looking up at her plain, white ceiling. "Same-old, same-old, really… I kind of got harassed as well."

"What?" Ryder giggled, knowing instantly by the deadpanning in her voice that she was maintaining her sarcastic personality, nonetheless still slightly concerned – nothing would change that. It was just his own personality coming through and panicking, making mountains out of molehills.

"It's paparazzi season." She sighed nonchalantly, as if it needed no further explanation, before adding: "JBI's been bouncing off the lockers like a tennis ball on Red Bull… he kind of trapped me in the hallway before Cheerios practice and asked what "Beauty and The Beast" were doing for the most nauseatingly romantic day of the year."

Ryder couldn't help but laugh at her monotonous commentary of the day's events. "And…?"

He could hear her smirk even through the phone. "Oh, you don't think I _told _him… do you?" She spoke provokingly, twisting her voice to sound innocent but seductive. Ryder let out a noise of pondering, leading her to add even more of that fake purity in her voice. "Well, naturally I told Afro that that information was extremely confidential, and that I wasn't revealing any hints to even the most promising set of ears."

Ryder couldn't help the nervous grin that splayed across his features, tightening his chin. "Will you at least tell me if I need to bring anything – a change of clothes, money, what?"

Marley was silent for a few seconds, before purring back into the phone as one of her knees bent up, her foot now pressed against the mattress as the other leg still remained straight. "Neither a change of clothes _or _money is needed – just… maybe a few pillows? I don't know how many we'll end up with. I mean, my parents are gonna be out of town anyway, so…"

This was the first time that something triggered a response in Ryder's brain, as he finally noted how quickly this conversation was lacking chaste, and growing more and more into one of… _those conversations_. Something that – being a 'nerd' – he had never experienced before. Something he was totally unexperienced with… and here he was, talking to the most experienced individual he knew, as they ventured further into that undiscovered territory. His mind began wandering further into that dark, vacant space; that mystery, always leading him back to a question: What _was _Marley planning on Saturday? "O-Oh." He bit his lip. He was so unexperienced with this area of life, he didn't even know what to say or where to start. He was petrified. "So… w-when do you want me to come over?"

Marley sighed. "I don't know, it'll take me a while to get everything sorted…" Ryder gulped at that comment. "And then, your curfew is 11:30, right?"

"Yeah… 11:30 at the latest." Ryder clarified, his limbs beginning to shake slightly as his stomach obtained a sinking feeling.

"Right… come over at 5 in the afternoon?" Marley suggested, her voice becoming a higher pitch with her question.

Ryder let out a shaky sigh. "Sure."

At this point, his girlfriend could definitely sense something on-edge about the boy, and she couldn't let it pass. "Babe, is everything okay?"

"Huh? …Oh! Yeah, yeah. Why wouldn't it be? It's Valentine's Day in three days!" He chuckled somewhat nervously, leading Marley to feel no more comforted than she was before.

The brunette bit her lip. "Don't be nervous, okay? I know for a fact you'll _love _what I have in store for us." She smirked, lapsing into that purring tone near the end, thinking it would comfort him. It did the opposite. The chestnut-haired boy laughed apprehensively again, trailing off with another number of reassurances. Marley, once again, huffed. "Right, I'm gonna take a shower since Cheerios practice made me all sweaty… I'll see you tomorrow?" She spoke hopefully, returning to a slightly giddier mood when he confirmed. "I love you." She cooed, still attempting to ease him.

Ryder nibbled on his lower lip, before raking a hand through his hair. "I love you too." He spoke sincerely, but nothing could make him forget the possibilities of what Saturday had in store for them. The two hung up after a few more loving exchanges, leading Ryder to stumble to his bed and lie on his back thoughtfully, his mind never taking a break or relieving itself, thinking instead about those possibilities with no interruption. He was in that state of mind for minutes, before another call came through on his phone: Marley again. He didn't hesitate to answer. "Hey."

"I just had this awesome idea. It's like, _awesome._" She answered as a way of greeting, her tired tone instead overtaken by eagerness – Ryder didn't quite know what to expect from the phone call, but he wasn't expecting that. In all honesty, his powerful brain was now in a sudden trance of confusion.

"Wh…?" He tried to form words, but luckily, his girlfriend eased him out of any misunderstanding.

Once more, he could envisage her: lounging across her huge and elegant bedspread, enclosed in a cotton dressing gown with a towel covering and drying her freshly-washed brunette tresses – no powder or paint in sight – inspecting perfectly manicured nails as a mischievous sneer began to spark from the corners of her mouth. "I want you to hang on every word I say, okay? Literally everyone has been expecting this from us ever since we made it official, and disappointing people is the last thing I want to do on my senior year. So: are you listening?"

Ryder felt that previous, bruising pressure floating off his chest as he joined her in a grin. "I'm all ears."

* * *

The next Glee Club meeting was that Friday, only one day until that most romantic of days. Of course, anticipation had wanted to eat him alive as a result, and not only with concerns of whatever his girlfriend had planned for tomorrow. He was nervous for the events that were about to take place, frankly. The very brunette that had been on his mind a lot more lately was currently holding his hand, squeezing it every once in a while: her exterior projected someone fearless, but in reality, she was suffering from worries too, though they were different to his: she was confident about the current events, only saving her brain capacity for thoughts of tomorrow. She was unsure about how he would react to her idea, and prayed that his thoughts would be positive.

As the two walked into the choir room – which was all donned up in Valentine's Day decorations – they gave each other a perceptive smile, before sauntering over to their seats. They couldn't help overhearing the other conversations that bounced back and forth between the other members of the club.

"I'm telling you guys, she literally _came right up to me_ and asked me out to Breadstixx for tomorrow. I swear, I've never talked to her in my life."

"Alright, Sam, I know it's Valentine's Day but only complete weirdos _make up _dates for tomorrow…" Artie spoke pointedly as he turned on his wheel to face the blond man, who was lounging back in his chair, looking smug. Marley began to sneer knowingly.

"I'm serious!" The subject raised his hands in his defence. "Lana Sanderson came up to my locker, said she'd heard about me and thought that she wanted to give me a shot, something about it being her last Valentine's Day as a high-schooler…"

As her grin grew to an impossible extent, someone finally noticed, making himself known by pressing a kiss to her cheek and hooking his chin over her shoulder. "What are you smiling about?"

The girl smirked, her boyfriend's chestnut-haired 'do now visible in the corner of her eye. "Just call me Cupid, babe."

"Alright!" Mr Schue clapped as he stepped profoundly into the centre of the room, almost making the cheerleader jump as she realised he was there. "One day until Valentine's Day 2015… let's finish our annual assignment off on a high! Any volunteers?"

And so, it was to pretty much _everyone's _surprise that Marley Rose's hand shot up in an instant, conveying another mischievous grin. Mr Schuester had no choice but to gesture warily towards her, joining the rest of the room in their curious expectancy.

The cheerleader saw this as a signal. "Well, it's V-Day tomorrow and everyone is either getting lucky or getting lost in a pint of cookie dough ice cream… so, considering the majority of this room will be indulging in the latter, Four Eyes and I thought we'd try and lift your spirits with a much-anticipated duet. Of course, Sam won't need his spirits lifted because my girl Lana is giving him a shot or whatever – and you can thank me for that later – but the rest of you can sit back and relax." Marley simpered, before grabbing Ryder's hand and all but dragging him up to the front of the room, where many of the members of the club appeared surprised at the events which were about to take place, and the way by which Marley sought after them. Ryder soon walked off to the side, retrieving two stools for the two as his girlfriend uttered words of appreciation, making herself comfortable on one of them, before looking at Mr Schuester, waiting for him to snap out of his trance to prompt them.

"Uh, take it away, you two." He eventually came around, Ryder grinning nervously as he cued the band to start playing with a light riff and the peppy instruments. The chestnut-haired boy still beamed in spite of himself, before beginning the song, looking adorably into the space between her and his lap.

_I've got this friend_

_I don't think you know him_

_He's not much for words_

_He's hid in his hardened way_

Gaining a bit more courage, he looked through his eyebrows, up at Marley – her eyes sporting that familiar intensity, urging him on and giving him new audacity. He smiled into his next words.

_Oh, I've got this friend_

_A loveless romantic_

_All that he really wants_

_Is someone to want him back._

Launching into the chorus with perfect harmonies, the couple sang together with winning vocals, sweet enough to give the audience a toothache, but with indescribable power.

_**Oh, if the right one came**_

_**If the right one came along**_

_**Oh, if the right one came, **__along_

Soon, the cerulean-eyed teenager came to the conclusion that movement needed to be added, so stood from her seat as she sung sweetly, moving away from the boy and grinning mischievously like a child who had covered white walls in crayon.

**Ooh, I've got this friend**

**I don't think you know her**

**She sings a simple song**

**It sounds a lot like his**

**Ooh, I've got this friend**

**Holding onto her heart**

**Like it's a little secret**

**Like it's all she's got to give.**

She turned back around to Ryder, beginning to walk towards him again. Those lyrics seemed so emotionally honest to their situation: behind all the makeup and glamour, all she could give him were those mere emotions which she had manipulated in the past. As the chorus hit once again, she snuck behind Ryder as he followed her gaze, harmonising with her, slowly rising to his feet and following her every move.

_**Oh, if the right one came**_

_**If the right one came along**_

_**Oh, if the right one came, along**_

The instrumental hit, and with it, the teasing actions continued as the cat-and-mouse interval of the song began to play out, the irony of the lyrics ringing in everyone's ears.

_It'd be such a shame_

**If they never meet**

_She sounds lovely_

**He sounds right out of a dream**

_If only_

**If only**

_**If only…**_

The two were now standing, facing each other with a new, refreshing look as the suspenseful interval ceased, leaving the two in simple but perfect harmonies.

_**Oh…**_

Moving as the chorus built up, the two found themselves enthralled by the words as they provoked each other's movements playfully again, accompanying their mischievous grins.

_**Oh, if the right one came**_

_**If the right one came along**_

_**Oh, (**_**I've got this friend) **_**if the right one came**_

_**If the right one came along**_

_**Oh, **_**(I've got this friend)**

_**If the right one came, along.**_

Ending the song in a happier tone, the two grinned, sighing in unison before hugging, Marley burying her head in his shoulder as she rocked the pressure of her feet onto her tiptoes so that she could reach him, mutually soaking in the inevitable applause. This prompted their teacher to bounce off his own seat and congratulate the two, launching into another speech about love and honesty, and many other countless things which he had already talked about before. The brunette shooed away the urge to roll her eyes, nonetheless still beaming – the song couldn't have gone better, but that faint feeling in her head and that heavy feeling in her stomach was still staying put as she remembered: that was only the first hurdle.

Ryder was similarly nervous, but for a straying reason: he had planned something for tomorrow, something that he only prayed she would accept.

* * *

The sun was a kaleidoscope at just before five in the afternoon on that next day, as Ryder took a brief moment's gaze away from the tarmac road in front of him and the street lights, tinting the sunset surroundings an electric shade of orange, before reminding himself of the traffic light and pressing his foot down on the pedal when a green circle lit up above him. He was nibbling on his lip apprehensively with a clammy hand on the steering wheel, threatening to slide away from its camp on the wheel and fault the direction of the car. He was a mere two minutes away from Marley's house.

Using a split second to check himself in the rear-view mirror, he inspected his face, and later, his outfit: his hair seemed slightly windswept as his usual pair of specs framed his face, wearing a casual-ish outfit of a blue flannel shirt and navy jeans, vans and a hooded cardigan as protection from the bitter cold, still persisting as a consequence to February. Checking the front mirror, he looked into the backseat, where a bouquet of peonies lay. God, he prayed that she would like them. Even if the circumstances were different and they weren't her favourite flowers, he knew that she'd still accept them, but it was all part of his nervousness now: doubting things he knew were practically undoubtable.

Pulling into the grand Rose household, noting the few lights on that he could see from inside – also noting that her parent's bedroom was unquestionably unlit – his heartbeat peaked in his ears, thumping to a superhuman extent, thinking back to her hints over the phone and her flirtatious remarks about this day in the past. He sighed. Heaven knew nothing could save him now, and he just prayed that if that theory was true, she would be understanding if he concluded that he wasn't ready. This was his first Valentine's Day where he was actually with someone – let alone that someone being his _girlfriend. _With that thought in mind, the brown-eyed boy reached into the backseat and retrieved the bouquet of fresh flowers, ensured that his planned idea was still safe in his pocket, before opening the car door and letting the cold air in for a brief moment before he stepped out, shutting the same door behind him and instead travelling to a different one: Marley's front door. Raking a trembling hand through his hair and straightening out any possible flaws in his exterior, he knocked the door.

It was moments after when a cry bellowed out from inside the house. "Hold on! One second!" Ryder chuckled at her frantic voice as he could practically visualise her applying the finishing touches to whatever she had been working on for the past few hours. It was _not, _in fact, "one second" until she answered the door, but rather more than sixty times that, as Ryder began to feel the chill numbing his skin. Once more, he could hear her clumsy footsteps as a rushed "Just wait one second!" hollered through the door to his ears once more. A few more rustles from inside, and soon, the brunette herself was opening the door.

Ryder would be lying if he said she wasn't worth every second he was waiting – and more. The teenager was wearing makeup how she seemingly always did – dramatic around the eyes, subtle everywhere else, and enhancing her lips with a shade of matte lipstick, making them look larger; her smile appearing even whiter – her lips looking even more tempting than they already were. Her winged but smoky eyeliner made her eyes appear even larger, projecting that deep, sapphire blue which they obtained day after day. Her lips were stained a matte, burgundy colour, not dissimilar to the shade she wore on the day that she met his parents. She wore a mini red bustier dress and golden studs for earrings, hidden amongst her flawless, messy curls. Her face lit up in an instant. "Hi."

"H-Hi." He said immediately afterwards, pulling the bouquet of crimson-red peonies from their hiding place behind his back, but before he could introduce them, her hands were flying up to her face and her beam grew impossibly wider.

"Oh my God…" The brunette gasped. "Are those for me?"

The boy holding the flowers almost replied with some sarcastic, joking retort, but that voice and those most sapphire of eyes made him whipped enough to answer any question, no matter how idiotic it seemed. "Yeah." He grinned after a while, slowly edging the bouquet towards her as she accepted it in an instant, burying her face within them for a moment or two to capture their fresh scent.

"Thank you so much. That was so sweet, you didn't have to do that." She gushed, before realising her manners and taking a few steps towards him, leaning up on tiptoes as she ghosted one of her hands over his cheek, sealing her gratitude – and initiating a greeting – with a short, passionate kiss, the bouquet of peonies as the only boundary between them. When she finally broke away, her grin was even wider. "Happy Valentine's Day."

"Happy Valentine's Day." Her boyfriend reciprocated the greeting, before finally notifying her outfit as more formal than he had expected, his eyes lingering innocently on some areas longer than others. "Are we going somewhere?"

Marley noticed how that question had come about in an instant as she traced where his eyes had lingered, knowing it was not a dig at her but rather a compliment. She smirked, her cheeks tinting into a blush, before responding. "Can't a girl just look nice for her boyfriend on a date?" She giggled, raising an eyebrow.

Ryder matched her expression. "Of course, my mistake."

Marley nodded, looking over his complexion once more playfully, before loaning a subtle smile. "Come in."

That was all it took before the two were entering the sizeable house, Marley closing the door as to shoo out all of that cold air which desperately wanted in, unknowingly allowing Ryder a glance at how thin and slender she looked. He sent out a silent prayer that she wouldn't be on a Sue-inflicted diet this evening. He also took the time to notice how flustered she was and, turning around, began to realise why: tea candles were lit all over the front area, and a faint song was crooning all the way from the kitchen stereo. He turned around to the brunette who was to blame for all of this. "Wow."

Marley let a miniscule smile pass, just looking at him as she began to blush, her face tinting an even more intense crimson. She seemed… shy. She seemed as though she needed him to say that, or else she would be crushed with doubts that he hadn't liked her efforts. She smuggled a cough, before regaining her composure and smirking once more. "Would you like to accompany me in entering the living room?"

Ryder grinned, his nerves rising from the pit of his stomach once more. "Y-Yeah, I would." He beamed, before following her into the living space.

That space of wood and leather – that he had never truly explored before – was remade to look so much more homely. Throws had been planted over the sofas, the fire had been lit and the TV had been differently angled. But those were merely afterthoughts when he easily spotted the fruit of the brunette's labours: In the centre of the room, white sheets were balancing together harmoniously to form a tent-like fort, with a mattress laid inside the large fort and an array of cushions on top of the blanket-draped bedding, a bowl of steaming popcorn on the side of everything. On the table nearby stood a deep green, stout bottle of red wine and two glasses. He couldn't help the way his breathing hitched at her utter care and perfection, and how every feature of the room came together. She had made a wealthy man's room a teenage dream. "Wow…" He responded again.

Marley giggled from behind him. "You've said that already." She noted, before walking in front of him, trying to scan his reaction sceptically, praying for everything she was worth that he liked it. After a long silence of Ryder just skimming his eyes over the room, Marley winced. "Is it… alright?"

Ryder balanced between wanting to laugh and wanting to apologise, because something made her ask that question, and it was either her being cautious or him not being expressive enough. Instead, he chose to assure her. "Oh, no, no… everything… Marley, everything's _perfect_."

And how couldn't she crack a grin after _that _comment? "It is?" Ryder nodded in response, and the two became sappily lost in each other's gaze for a second, just basking in the glory of each other's company, exchanging subtle smiles and glances, before Marley spoke in a dazed manner: "I'm gonna go and put these peonies in some water. Please, make yourself comfortable."

And Ryder did, first treading back into the grand front hall to remove his sneakers before returning to the sheet fort, crawling in and sitting gingerly on the mattress, not wanting to misplace anything, before feeling relaxed enough to extend his long legs, leaning his back against the foot of the three-person sofa which the fort was half-engulfing. He could hear the sprite-like steps of Marley skipping down the magnificent Rose staircase, before entering the living room and crawling into the fort to meet her boyfriend with a grin, meeting him with a kiss as she settled her hands at his shoulders. She pulled away for good after two kisses.

Something soon crossed Ryder's mind, returning from its absence at last. He cringed visibly, leaving Marley in a new, sudden state of concern. "What is it?" She said as her eyebrows interweaved.

"I… I just remembered I forgot to bring pillows. Sorry." He admitted, sighing, soon growing confused at how she grinned.

"I found out I already had enough to assemble the fort with earlier today. Sorry, I forgot to text you about it." She confessed, her voice becoming apologetic as the corners of the bespectacled boy's mouth began to curl into yet another smile.

"Don't be. I forgot them anyway, didn't I?" He joked, triggering a poke to his ribs as they chuckled for a short moment, before Marley leaned closer to him once more and captured their lips, leaving several seconds before she pulled away, now leaning her hands on his chest and grabbing onto the tiniest fistfuls of his shirt to keep herself in balance kneeling down. She grinned against his lips, before leaning their foreheads together.

It was Ryder who broke the silence, previously only interrupted by their calm exhales and smooth, drawn in breaths. "This is kind of a first for me." He admitted in a hush tone. Marley only looked into his eyes with a look that begged for him to explain further. "I've… I've never had a Valentine's Day with someone before. Last year I was kind of thinking of you, but now I'm with you it's different… and it's new, obviously, 'cause I've never been in something that's lasted this long or that's been this awesome before, but obviously you know that cause I just told you, b-but-"

"Me too." Marley jumped in, so to save his breath from rambling. She stroked his knee cap as she said this, looking down at that moving hand that she controlled.

Ryder was confused, to say the least. "_You've never _had a Valentine's Day with someone?"

Marley scrunched her face up for a moment, biting her lip, before swaying her head slightly. "No, I have… but… it was so _different_. There was nothing very romantic about it. Last year I was having that weird, unofficial fling with you, and Bree set me up with this guy from Carmel High that she was friends with, but he wasn't exactly romantic. In fact, I didn't even kiss him because I was too busy thinking about all the things that you could do better." The boy in question couldn't help but sneer at that comment, his face still appearing curious from below, and engaged in her retellings. "And then the year before, Rick the Stick took me to KFC and then proceeded to make a move on me in the back of his gunky Range Rover." They both chuckled at that thought for long seconds, before Marley's face became serious once again as she looked up to the ceiling. "And then… on my Valentine's Day of freshman year…"

No. She didn't want to think of that night right now. That was the night which changed everything for her; the night when she had made the mistake of her high school career, which would haunt her and leave her regretful forever. The night where she gave herself to him so easily, when she should have held her pride. The night of her last naivety… the night before her first heartbreak, leading to reinventing; moulding herself back up into a different sculpture, having been manipulated so easily. She hadn't told anyone about that. Only the man who it involved knew, and they were long since separated. Eight months into a relationship or not, she wasn't ready to tell that to anyone, and maybe she never would.

"On my Valentine's Day of freshman year, I was with someone that I can't even remember the name of." She chuckled, practically celebrating when he laughed too, not suspecting for a minute that she was lying through her teeth. She flickered her eyes down to where her hand was stroking his knee once more, before looking up to his eyes again. She smiled. No, something like what happened three years ago would never happen again for as long as she was in this relationship – one day, she may even be ready to tell him, if they were lucky. She beamed. "But now I'm with you, I feel like all of my mistakes finally add up. I feel like I've been woken up, and I'm free. With you. And it's like all of those guys were anchoring me down, but now I'm free." She repeated that word over and over again in her mind. _Free_. Her eyes glossed over ever so slightly, but tears would not fall if either of them could help it. Ryder ventured even more into that look of love that he possessed as he reached for her torso, caressing her waist. Marley graced one of her fragile hands onto his cheek again, stroking it with her thumb. "And I feel like after all of that crap we've dealt with, we've just grown so much. And I don't think I've ever been this happy because of that." Ryder pecked her cheek and then her button-like nose as she giggled in spite of herself, sighing when he pulled away. "Right. Now that the cheesy stuff is out of the way, would you care to indulge in a movie with me? And then we can have dinner."

The teenage boy raised his eyebrows gingerly. "And… what's for dinner?"

"I think I'm gonna order pizza." Marley spoke nonchalantly, bending up onto her knees and reaching for the DVD collection.

He was surprised, that was the only word for it. Relieved too. "No diet or detox or anything?"

Marley paused from her searching and turned to him once more, the force of the spin moving her curled hair ever so slightly out of place. She smirked. "Only _idiots _diet on Valentine's Day. I mean, how am I supposed to eat the chocolates I bought for us? And the wine I stole from the pantry?"

Ryder suddenly reverted back to his innocent mind. "…_Stole?_"

The brunette chuckled, returning back to her movie search. "You're too cute, Four Eyes. My parents prefer white anyway, and they wouldn't even notice if it was gone. Relax."

After a while, he did, but was still concerned about her – as he always was. "So you're okay with pizza?"

She grinned as she began plucking DVDs out from the cabinet. "I'm detoxing all through March anyway. I might as well save my splurge day to be Valentine's Day, and with you, right?"

Ryder beamed. "Right."

One thing you have to know about Ryder is that he is a _huge _superhero fan. The Avengers, Captain America, you name it… so it was to no surprise that the two agreed on watching _X Men: Days of Future Past_ as their romantic movie; the two were never conventional.

Halfway through the film, in between the occasional kisses and mouthfuls of popcorn, Marley spoke. "Jennifer Lawrence is awesome. She can, like, _rock _blue skin. I'm telling you Ry, the minute J-Law comes to Lima, I'm ditching you faster than you can say 'Mystique'. And I'm not even gay."

Ryder laughed. Yeah, his girlfriend was awesome.

As the end of the movie approached, the brunette excused herself from her previous camp (underneath Ryder's arm, snuggled into his neck with their legs tangled together) to order their pizza. Upon returning, watching the end of the film and exchanging several more passionate kisses with the chestnut-haired boy, soon after it was that pizza which they were munching on, occasionally feeding each other the crust. Finishing the food eventually between them, Ryder had only one thing on his mind: when he should present his surprise, and what her reaction would be. He decided eventually that he'd wait until after dessert.

M**r**arley soon escaped once more to blow out a few of the candles that were no longer needed as to still ensure they were safe, as well as retrieving a box of chocolates for them to share as they watched a second movie, and she knew exactly the movie in mind.

"_Ghost_?" He guffawed, securing his arm around her once more, having just witnessed her slide the DVD into the movie player, waiting for the menu options to appear on the flat-screen.

She grinned. "Yeah." Although the boy still appeared unconvinced, raising an eyebrow. "Come on, babe…" She whimpered, hooking an index finger under his chin. "It'll be romantic. I _promise_."

Of course he caved, because – as always – that sapphire gaze hypnotised him to follow her every move. He relaxed once again as they leaned back in unison, Marley not resisting the urge any longer and sitting on his lap, Ryder's head bowed onto her shoulder, hands around her waist as her own hands became wrapped around his, the film beginning to play. The brunette couldn't help but feel close to him in that moment, as they simply relaxed together and watched the credits roll on, occasionally nudging forward in order to claim a chocolate from the heart shaped box which Marley had brought in. The touch of his neck curving around her shoulder seemed to relax her, and so, she was transported even further into that state when the famous scene made itself present on her flat-screen TV. The music droned on in her ears.

_Whoa, my love_

_My darling_

_I've hungered for your touch_

_A long, lonely time_

_And time goes by so slowly_

_And time can do so much_

_Are you still mine?_

The song continued to play as the young actors on her screen continued with their pottery, playing with the other person's fingers amongst that messy, glistening clay. She was becoming transported into that world for mere moments, before a touch of plush lips pressing against her shoulder made itself known, threatening to make her break out in a grin and shiver at the same time. She settled on biting her lip, as the man behind her continued his path of kisses up her shoulder, to her neck, to the back of her left ear, leaving his girlfriend trying and failing to conceal the hitched breathing behind her lips as she felt herself edging towards him even more. That melody on the screen was still playing, and was almost halfway through now, when she felt something else wanting to make itself known once more. A voice whispered in the brunette's ear. "I have something for you."

The chestnut-haired teenager still pressed a few barely-there kisses against her ear after that, but stopped before any more could happen when Marley was spinning around on her legs to face him, still sitting in his lap. "Yeah?" She murmured, mesmerised by him once again as he began to smirk knowingly. She lifted one eyebrow. "I hope you don't mean you got me a present, Ry…" He gulped, sudden nerves overruling his knowing expression for a millisecond, before finally pulling out what he had been hiding in his pocket: a small, black box, not dissimilar to the one he had gotten her for Christmas with that peony necklace lounging inside it. This one was smaller, more cubed. She bit her lip for a moment, captivated by the tiny, mysterious box for moments on end, before sighing. "Ryder…"

"I love you." He assured her, presenting her the box officially and somewhat awkwardly. She took it gladly, looking at him once more before finally opening the curved, black box's lid.

There, sitting proudly on a cushion of navy velvet, sat a sterling silver ring with the band winding into an infinity sign, one of those metal strands embellished with crystals. The girl's orbs grew impossibly wider as sapphire met crystal and silver, visibly halting her breathing as her hands began to quiver slightly. It was beautiful. Marley was afraid to pick it up or look back up at him for moments on end, because she was struggling to grasp onto the fact that it was real, it was genuine; as if picking it up or averting her gaze away from it would mark the end of its existence. After a minute or two, Ryder began to speak, causing her eyes to flicker back up at him and her arms to be lowered, so the box was now resting in her hands, balanced on her knees. "It's a promise ring. I got it because… well… now that we're together, I never want to even picture a life where you're not in it. And – like I said – I've never been in a serious relationship like this, ever. Or one that's lasted this long. And I feel like as long as we're together, nothing bad can happen to us that we can't get over. So… this is me, promising that through thick and thin, I won't lie, or talk too much about science," Marley giggled at that particular promise, a tear threatening to spill from her eye. "Or cheat, or hurt you. And through thick and thin, I promise not to make any idiotic mistakes or do anything stupid." He bit his lip apprehensively, his body threatening to tremble as he felt her eyes penetrating him in the most addictive way, relieved but nervous now that his ideas were out into the open. "Marley, will you promise me?"

Moments went by where Marley appeared more dazed than the boy had ever seen her, flicking her attention to him and lingering there, before looking back at that beautiful silver ring which sat in her lap. After a while, she caught her lip in between her teeth and began to grin, soon offering the boy a noticeable nod as her form of agreement. That was all it took before Ryder was beaming himself, taking the box away and tentatively plucking the ring from in between the velvet, holding it to her right hand before sliding it onto her third finger, seemingly quivering slightly with excitement and nerves. She bit her lip as she looked at the ring, in awe of its beauty; of his generosity. "I love you." She spoke as an impulse, gliding her hand up to his cheek for the umpteenth time that day, grinning as she leant in towards him. She didn't care for cheesiness at this moment in time, contrary to her usual reactions at times like this. His hands seemed to grow glued to her waist these days as he watched her close her eyes and meet him halfway in a slightly open-mouthed kiss, before letting himself become captivated by the moment. She held that kiss for minutes, before pulling away and watching the space underneath them where their bodies almost met. Her features splayed into a tight-lipped smile, looking back up at him as their noses brushed together involuntarily.

No words needed to be said for the next occurrences, as the smaller girl grinned at the feeling of his body heat radiating off to meet her, and that new sensation of a sterling silver ring on her finger. Needless to say, countless other kisses were exchanged, each one more dedicated and urgent than the last, Marley even stifling a carnal noise from inside her throat as they continued, eventually pressing their bodies together fully as she still sat on his lap. Soon enough, the boy was done with being suppressed and decided to take matters into his own hands, flipping her over to the bottom of their piling bodies and continuing things further still, eventually ending in a battle between teeth and tongue.

As this encounter continued, the cerulean-eyed cheerleader discovered something hidden between each stop for breath; each one of those ardent kisses: she couldn't remember a time when she felt more relaxed, more excited by someone. All this time, she had a feeling that Ryder was something that all of the other guys weren't, but she still went on with their relationship without giving it much of a second thought, until now. Ryder was sensible. He never dared to go further until she wanted him to. He didn't allow himself to be walked on, but he was considerate enough to know boundaries at least. He never called after her with objectifying names, or referred to her as if she was a trophy in a casket rather than a human being. He treasured her company; he made her better. He helped her to see that there was more to life than the bitchy insults she threw carelessly; than her outfit choice and her makeup; than the cheerleading squad. He taught her that it was okay to be nerdy; that it was okay to dance around in the kitchen at two in the morning on summer vacation, so long as they didn't wake her parents' slumber. It was okay to dance around like an idiot. And the thing was: she didn't need a necklace or a ring to tell her that. She just knew, and it was for all of these reasons that he was superior to all of those other men, and these reasons that drove her to take fistfuls of his flannel shirt and drag him unbelievably closer to her, and he didn't mind. He just paced his hands at her sides once more, gliding them over her torso before settling them at her waist again, not daring to go any further.

With every second they continued, every kiss to her lips, and cheeks, and neck, she was even more certain that she was ready. Not only because she wanted to this time, not only to be foolish – like in the past – but to be able to share a moment so close with him. The brunette pulled away for breath before going back to him, lapsing into another passionate kiss as she leapt forward in her desire, courageously tugging on his flannel shirt before sliding her now-clammy hands down the fabric to the hem, slowly gliding her hands underneath and feeling his bare, toned stomach.

As Ryder felt their skin-to-skin contact in an area previously not explored, he reacted in a slightly less conventional way to the stereotype of eighteen year-old boys: he panicked. His breathing hitched as their tongues still battled for dominance, but he opened his eyes as they kissed, not knowing what to do. He knew she didn't mean it, but he felt trapped into doing something he simply wasn't ready for. With gentle urgency, he removed his hands from where they were just a few moments before – swimming over her ribcage – and instead used them to softly but firmly grasp her wrists, removing her hands from his stomach. Closing his eyes again, he remained, kissing her as if nothing happened.

But something had happened, and Marley knew it. She sensed the insistence in his grip as he moved her hands away from his skin, and sensed the way he grew uncomfortable by her touch as his mouth forgot to kiss back for a few milliseconds. She had made him uncomfortable. She had pushed this upon him, and she felt foolish; guilty; stupid because of it. Of course he wasn't ready, but her heart was beating so fast and getting so carried away that her head forgot that for a while. She felt like she could cry out of mere distress for herself, carried by this new found hatred. Her thoughts were too occupied by all of these negative feelings that she hadn't even noticed she had stopped kissing him until seconds after, when he was looking at her worriedly from above.

Of course, he instantly felt responsible. "I'm sorry…" he blurted out in a whispered tone, his voice cracking slightly as guilt slid through his veins at a dreadful pace.

Marley's eyes nearly glossed over at just him saying that, because why was he even considering apologising? Her hands strayed further from him as she used them instead to hoist herself up slightly. She looked at him dead in the eyes, flickering between his two pupils surrounded by that shade of chocolate brown, and his kiss-swollen lips. "Sex doesn't matter to me." She spoke, each muscle she owned deadly still as she said the words simply, not bothering to sugar-coat anything – she knew it was what they were both thinking anyway. She continued, upon viewing his unmoving expression. "It used to, yeah, maybe, but it doesn't anymore. I gave myself so easily to people in the past…" She gulped down a lump in her throat as she thought back once again to those dark times. "…and maybe I'll tell you more about that some other time, but the point is: I thought sex was meaningless. But it isn't. It's something you need to hold onto for as long as you can, and I'm new to this whole monogamy thing, and I used to sleep with guys on the first date, but you're different. So if it's another eight months, or another eight years, I'll be patient for as long as you want me to be, because I know how important someone's… first time… should be. And maybe I didn't realise that until it was three years too late, but that doesn't mean you should do the same. I can wait, Ryder. I really hope you know that." She ended up hushing the last sentence into the air in front of his neck as he still viewed her from above. A deafening silence reigned on as only the movie – still playing, seeing as they hadn't cared to turn it off – interrupted the lengthy breaths the two were taking. Finally, Ryder relieved the silence, not by words, but by pressing a soft kiss to her lips which she reciprocated instantly – not with the bruising pressure the two had obtained before, but matching his softness instead.

That kiss was merely a grazing compared to the other ones they had shared that night, but it was so emotionally honest to the girl nonetheless. When they pulled away from that moment, she and Ryder looked at each other for moments on end, gazing at each other with inquisitiveness. After a while, he spoke in a frail voice: "Thank you."

Marley smiled – a genuine smile – as he began to do the same, before they went back to each other briefly, stealing a few more kisses and taking things slower; more tenderly this time, rather than reverting back to how they were mere minutes before.

* * *

11:27pm, and the boy was finally dragging his feet reluctantly back into his house. Initially, he saw his mother removing earrings in the hallway's mirror and wearing an evening dress, barefoot, with slightly faded makeup. She and Ryder's father had been out that evening. Noting that her son had finally arrived home, checking the clock, she spoke to him through the mirror. "Nothing like cutting it fine, huh sweetie?"

"Sorry, Mom." Ryder mumbled, but that subtle telling off was nothing to put a dampener on his mood. He was up in the clouds at this point.

"Ah, Ryder. You're home." Richard soon strode in self-assuredly, clapping his son on the back as a way of greeting. "How's your friend?"

Ryder gritted his teeth. "My _girlfriend_ is fine, thanks Dad."

The taller, older man shrugged at this comment, watching as his wife gestured him a playful telling off. "And what did you kids get up to, son?"

It was Ryder's turn to shrug as he attempted to ignore his father's denial. "Nothing much. We ordered pizza and watched a few movies together at her house."

For some reason, Ryder's father looked slightly taken aback at that comment, as if he was expecting some sort of dig or explicit detail. "Sounds like a fun night." Helen grinned, inspecting the earrings she had just taken out in her frail, pale hands. Her son admired her ability to always look on the positive side of things, unlike how his father sometimes was.

Ryder reciprocated her smile. "It was."

* * *

**Wow, that turned out so much longer than it was meant to be. I hope you enjoyed it, though, and tell me what you thought!**

**Also: MELISSA BENOIST YOU ABSOLUTE PERFECT HUMAN BEING. SHE GOT SUPERGIRL! I was honestly fangirling so hard, I was in the same room as my sister and my mum at the time so I had to conceal my feelings but I'm pretty sure they could hear my breathing going irregular :P When she dyed her hair blonde, that was the main theory, but now it's actually true I just asdfghjklehjidjosgdgjoajojdlhh. Love her so much. And those jennoist riots thought! The pictures! The tweets! Can you hear me crying? …Additionally, I saw **_**Whiplash **_**as soon as it was released in UK cinemas. It's totally my favourite film now – it was sooooooo good. The popcorn actually fell off my lap at one point because I was just so **_**awestruck**_**. If you haven't seen it already, you really need to! **

**Just so you readers know, this is the calm before the storm… and you're all gonna hate me within the next few chapters. So sorry. But I had this planned from October ;) Holler at me with your theories!**

**The songs used were '**_**I've Got This Friend'**_** by The Civil Wars (love that band, and I was really sad when they broke up) and, of course, **_**'Unchained Melody' **_**by the Righteous Brothers from the movie, **_**Ghost**_**. As always, I recommend you check them out!**

**To find Marley's outfit and the promise ring, click on the links in my bio under 'Regaining Repose' ;)**

**Until next time,**

**Beth :-)**


	10. The Preparations

**Back again :-) enjoy!**

* * *

It wasn't as if people had forgotten where she originally came from – even if they dared to, that smirk and that splash of red and white always reminded them, as did her sarcastic tone. People didn't dare be intolerant towards that tone. It was unquestionable now that she had now regained near to all of her popularity… he guessed that was a good thing. The mere hallways of McKinley had become her red carpet, a few people now tearing away from the sides like they used to just to ask her how her day has been, a few others clinging to their lockers even more out of fear. But she wasn't to be feared anymore. He often indulged in counting the number of positive expressions in comparison to the frowns whenever she and he walked around, and the latter was seemingly suppressed these days. Of course, things hadn't _completely _turned back to normal: a few still sniggered and stared them down (that was to be expected, and it was hardly a surprise that she wasn't the most popular girl in school), but nothing that would give her too much bad press. _Bad press. _It sounded like he was dating a celebrity. Come to think of it, he kind of was.

Valentine's Day had drawn attention away from the turmoil for moments, though, so it was a surprise on Monday morning when he had forgotten what it was like not to be around her. Recently her lunch hours had been swaying more towards the Glee Club, and at least he was happy about that; however, it didn't change how he missed her whenever she would sashay in the opposite direction. The brunette had returned to her countless apologies, and he had returned to accepting them in turn. She would always "_try to make up for it on Friday_", but in the amateur, 'new to monogamy' way that she always did (excluding Valentine's Day), with things like watching a superhero movie whilst cuddled up on the couch with her steady breathing ghosting his neck or chest, looking up at him like he was the most important thing in the world as he thought the same about her. The thing was: he was feeling more and more like those feelings that he had weren't reserved – everyone at McKinley saw her that way too. He felt more like a fanboy than a boyfriend. Even when they were walking in the hallways together, a friend would always approach her and invite her to some party – another reason for her absences. Their relationship began to balance more on phone-calls after school than any real, physical contact.

But he still loved her, because that was what the promise ring stood for: they would stay strong and fight together, even when things got hard. Even when popularity got in the way.

She wore that promise ring every day, only taking it off for Cheerios rehearsals (where jewellery was strictly prohibited), and the necklace still on weekends and Friday dates. He admired her for that. It was like a symbolic way of telling him that she was still keeping that promise, without having to say anything – besides, at this rate, they couldn't waste any time they had together talking about it. He still saw her fairly regularly: in school, in a few classes, on dates, in Glee Club. But their relationship seemed to require more effort than it used to. He could see by the slight lines on her forehead and the way she twisted the promise ring around on her finger that she had recognised it too. Currently, they were just basking in that aroma of minor uneasiness together – again, without having to say anything.

The pair had made their way to Glee Club on one occurrence, having not been in contact with each other for the duration of the day so far. He had arrived first out of the two, giddily taking a seat in his usual spot as he relaxed. He couldn't wait to see her. When the brunette cheerleader eventually strolled in with a leisurely spring in her step, her thumbs wound between her backpack and her body like they always were, her face instantly beamed in excitement as she caught sight of him; every muscle in her body was whinging with longing as she resisted the intense urge to sit on his lap (she'd been told off by Mr Schue for doing that before), instead taking a seat next to him as her ponytail swung from side to side. "Hey, you." She spoke teasingly before she sat down, tearing a hand away from a strap from her backpack and running it through his hair, shaking it slightly to mess up his locks.

"Hi." He grinned giddily as he watched her discard her bag to the side, perching on the end of a seat and grabbing hold of his chin, edging it towards her as their lips connected fervently, if only for a few seconds – she had a habit of doing that, but he had never even considered objecting to it.

With that, she lounged further back into her seat, crossing one leg over her thigh as she looked back at him observantly. "You look cute today." She smirked, biting her lip.

He blushed, adorably enough. He wasn't like her – he was far worse at taking a compliment without bursting into an exasperated fluster. He grinned almost comically wider before leaning forward slightly. "You look cute every day." He kissed the top of her ear, noting how she groaned at the contact.

"Relax with the cheese, Four Eyes. I'm on a low-dairy diet." She scolded jestingly, watching how he drew away sheepishly. As he leaned back in his seat, she wound an arm over to his side, stroking one of his thighs up and down as the brunette herself giggled, looking at him in a mesmerised state.

Inevitably, something – or, rather, _someone _– interrupted them. This time, it was their motivational teacher, smoothing his hands over each other a few times as he strode into the room, clad in a typical grey waistcoat under a white shirt, with the sleeves scrunched and rolled up casually. "Right! Everyone, it's time to get our groove on for the next big event: Regionals. I have some great ideas stored up, so… let's get started!"

"Wait, we're gonna start preparing _now_?" Marley questioned satirically. "I thought this club's style was waiting until the week before it actually happens and just… gambling it on chance with kick-ass harmonies. What, do you actually understand the concept of time now?" She raised an eyebrow, urging him on with a sneer.

Mr Schue pressed his lips together for a moment, before replying. "Marley, I just have ideas that might take a bit more time to perfect, that's all. The stakes are higher than ever this year, and if we want to have a shot at that Nationals trophy again, we need to kick the game up a notch. Now…" His slightly annoyed expression transformed into one of his usual happiness. "Would anyone care to hear my planned set list?"

* * *

Surprisingly – and on the contrary to what Ryder had often described – Mr Schuester's set list… wasn't bad. Obviously his idea of 'chart' hits was marginally outdated to how it was currently – he had chosen the ballad as '_Say Something'_ by A Great Big World, with Blaine and Tina carrying that duet – but it wasn't _completely _cliché and off. The brunette believed that if she could get her fingers on the reigns of the choreography, they might actually win. Besides, she had missed manoeuvring the group around recently. It might be a nice way to blow off steam around current events. The set list was varied. Everyone was going to star, and upon revealing the three songs, people seemed content with everything.

And so, it was confusing to say the least when Mr Schue asked to tear Sam and the cheerleader herself away from the abuzz group for a moment or two. There couldn't have possibly been another thing to tell them apart from giving them the choreography nod she had hoped for, but that was sort of a given - she did choreograph Sectionals. Once in the hallways, the brunette eased herself into a halt on the linoleum floor, her weight balancing on her slouched left hip and her feet apart in a confident stance as Sam strode out casually. She placed that smirk on her face, raised two expectant eyebrows and crossed her arms, bawling in agonising impatience on the inside. Eventually, Mr Schue acted on a thoughtful pivot to turn to the pair, casting his eyes over the taller blonde before wetting his lips and glancing at the menacing Cheerio. He pondered on his words for a while as the teenagers' expectant gazes grew only further, before all curiosities were dealt with as the teacher opened his mouth. "Competition in show choir gets tougher every year, and I know we have a strong set list which will keep us on our feet for Regionals, but we're going against the Dalton Academy Warblers, and they've been our toughest opponent since the New Directions began." He sucked in a breath – a nervous one, it seemed – before casting a grave look over the two once more, his eyes ricocheting between them and diluting in hope. "We can't just have good singers – we need good dancers, too. And that's often how Dalton's beaten us in the past, but now we can match them. But… only with the right balance, in the right places." The curly haired man paused – he was half expecting the sapphire-gazed brunette to let out an impatient vituperation, but she didn't; she appeared hooked on whatever he was about to announce. "I want to change the game up a bit this year. We're gonna make the boys' song less of a dance number, and instead, we're going to add a lot of physical movement to the ballad."

"So… wait…" Sam scrunched his face up in confusion momentarily. "_We're _doing the ballad?"

"Kind of, yeah, I suppose." Mr Schue glossed over, nudging the high-schoolers before him even further into confusion. He sighed, before finally reaching his proposition; that destination he had sought after. "Tina and Blaine will be singing, but you two will be dancing for them. Acting out – if you'd like – an emotional movement so that the audience can really connect with the song. The song's a bit past its sell-by date, I know, but with two singers and two dancers on the stage, it'll give the crowd something different. Food for thought." He pondered over that phrase for moments, before his eyes widened again, and in a subtler tone, he hushed out an invitation: "Are you interested?"

"So… like… expressive dance? Abstract stuff?" Marley cocked a perfectly shaped eyebrow up, letting the other droop as she obtained a look of doubt and curiosity.

Mr Schue shrugged. "It'll still be dance. It won't be too abstract, or too expressive… just to let the audience feel angst and to add to the song. Not too much of an acting thing, really, but still a dance." He repeated, and Marley's look of dubiousness softened slightly, but it was still noticeable.

Sam was the first to speak. "I'm in. It seems cool, I think we could do it. Marley, what do you think?"

After a while, the cerulean girl had seen all of the positives and negatives and came to her conclusion, answering the teacher and the blonde boy first with a mischievous grin. "I don't see why not."

Mr Schue appeared physically relieved, before getting to the technicalities of everything. "You probably won't be able to dance in your full show choir attire, so I'll speak with Tina to organise separate costumes which'll give you more freedom. The ballad is our opening number, so Sam, you'll do the song and then get changed during the guys' number. Sorry, I couldn't think of another way that would work out." He winced, but Sam was reassuring and wasn't fazed by it much at all. "So you'll both change during the boys' group number, and you'll be back on in your normal outfits for the ending group number. You'll have to change quickly. Is that okay?" The two nodded in agreement. "Good. Now, to get this dance to absolute perfection, it might be a lot of rehearsals after school, during lunch period, maybe even you two meeting together on weekends… are you committed for that? Because if we're going to do this, we're either going to give it our all or we'll have to drop it entirely… so… is that going to be a problem?" Again, both were obedient and shook their heads. "Right. Shall we have a first session… uh… after school on Friday? Is that good for you, Sam?"

"Yeah, seems fine." He shrugged, before the two turned to Marley. She, similarly, brushed over the matter and told them that she'd be there.

Mr Schue couldn't have looked more satisfied. "Great." He cracked a toothy grin, before sidestepping past the two and striding once more into the choir room, leaving the two no other option but to follow suit.

Upon sitting back down, the brunette too appeared pleased. She heard footsteps bending to meet her, and looked up from her giddy expression to see her boyfriend. He was looking at her inquisitively from above. "What are you so happy about, Rose?"

She chuckled past his formal question as he sat down next to her, lounging back in her seat smugly. "Mr Schue wants me and Sam to do this dance number alongside '_Say Something'_. Sounds cool."

Ryder grinned. "That sounds awesome." He admitted, leaning forward to capture her cheek in a kiss for a moment, before drawing back. "He was talking to you guys for a while, we were kind of confused what took so long."

A giggle was offered in response. "He was just incorporating a lot of dramatic pauses into things, I don't know. And he was explaining all the technicalities behind it… and about being committed, or whatever." The bespectacled boy's beam stayed put on his face as the bell echoed in their ears, scooping up his bag soon after and depositing it on his back as Marley did the same, weaving her dainty fingers in between his upon settling the bag behind her. She huffed. "But yeah, it seems cool. Rehearsals start Friday after school."

At that point, Ryder froze and became slightly tense. She had forgotten. Or… had she? Was she telling him this as an introduction to another excuse? He decided to ask a question that would complete the puzzle all at once. "I… I-I thought we had a date on Friday?"

Marley seemed extremely bedazzled for moments on end, before she winced as if she had just experienced a thousand scolding burns on her body, and used her spare hand to dig her fingers into her hairline. "Crap. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry." She shook her head, knowing how much that date meant to the both of them, seeing as they saw little of each other recently.

Ryder felt a pang of guilt slide through him for triggering her apologies – typical of him, of course – and instantly squeezed her hand. He chuckled; a poor façade. "Hey, don't worry. We can rearrange."

"Sorry, I just… um… I'm free Sunday?" She pondered, raising an eyebrow in anticipation for an answer.

He bit his lower lip instinctively, then exhaled through his nose upon caving and allowing a tight-lipped smile to seep through. "Sure."

There had only been a mere two occasions when the two had missed a Friday date night. It was a tradition, of sorts. A tradition that the boy hated to see broken. Her forgetfulness had triggered the alarms of a thousand more thoughts of fear and paranoia in his brain, and he could only hope she _would _make up for it. He may have been selfish, but he thought that it was what he deserved.

* * *

There was one sentence that clanged through his eardrum, violated his insides, and plagued him with sadness lately; one sentence which seemed to echo off the walls of McKinley, ricocheting back into their conversations consistently: "Mind if I take a rain check?"

Ryder spun round on the ball of his foot to walk in front of her as they progressed down the hallway, scanning her as if looking at her would give him an answer for her excuse. He noticed – as she inevitably winced at him – that there was something deeper behind her eyes. Some kind of regret, or sorrow… that look of mystery that usually found its way into her orbs was compromised almost entirely. He huffed, not even bothering to sugar-coat his response. It had been the sixth time already. "What is it this time?"

She bit her lip, looking up at him for a moment, before gathering her shoulders up in preparation for his disapproval. "It's my friend Mary-Anne's birthday party…" Ryder sucked in a breath and turned his head to the side, and in turn, the brunette frantically tried to explain the matter to him as her tone increased in urgency. "It's her eighteenth, and she wanted me to do her makeup and hair and she told me that if I couldn't make it, she'd rearrange the whole thing, and…" She looked down. "She's allowing plus ones… maybe you could come, too..."

"No." Ryder spoke in an instant, his tone as firm as he could muster up in front of her. "I wouldn't want to ruin Mary-Anne's eighteenth; you know I don't belong at parties." He bit his lower lip once more as he turned instead to his locker, twisting in the combination and focusing on that rather than her.

Marley sighed. "But you belong with me, okay?" She attempted to break through his concentration on other things by leaning her back against the locker beside his and looking him in the eyes. His eyes wavered towards her. "I mean, I'm trying my best to refrain from singing the song." She joked, but her humorous afterthought had sent his attention away again. She looked down at her feet and paid notice to the noise of other conversations in the hallway, before looking back up at him. "Listen, I know you. I know this is hurting you, the way I keep blowing you off for rehearsals and parties. And I know that you don't want to be that guy who doesn't let his girlfriend do things without him, or doesn't allow her cancelling dates to do other things. You're a good guy, Ryder. And I know you hate that right now, too. And I know you also dislike how popular I've gotten because you think it means that I don't have time or feelings reserved for you anymore, but babe, that's where you're wrong…" She tried her best to convince him, taking time to swallow down her guilt best she could as he leaned a large hand against the frame of his locker. "Every time I have to cancel a date, every time I don't sit with you at lunch, my feelings only grow stronger for you. And that makes our dates even more special." She tried a small smile, as he finally turned to her with a sheepish expression on his face.

"I guess you know me better than I thought you did these days." He admitted.

Marley's small smile became even more filled with pity as she moved her hand to ease up and down his chest instead. "I can tell Mary-Anne I can't go, if you want. I mean, this girl is willing to rearrange her party just for me." She giggled, raising an eyebrow.

And like always, Ryder caved. He couldn't imagine the disappointment that this other Cheerio girl could act on if he made Marley refuse the party invitation. The blue-eyed girl was right – he never wanted to be the guy that handcuffed his girlfriend to him at all times. "No, you don't have to do that. There's always another day, right?"

Marley seemed uneasy, but gently hooked her moving hand up to his neck nonetheless and rose up to her tiptoes, capturing him in a soft kiss for moments on end, pulling away and brushing their noses together impulsively. "I love you, okay?"

That added 'okay' was obviously another mark of reassurance. He praised her for her attempts and yet loathed them at the same time because he could feel the pity leaching through her tone. He looked between her two pupils, surrounded by that intoxicating shade of blue, wetting his lips and pressing them together before reciprocating. "I love you too."

That moment lasted seconds before another distraction posed a threat to the pair, as Sam walked up to the two. "Uh, hey Ryder."

The blonde's greeting caused the boy in question to turn towards him, as did the brunette girl. "H-Hi." He grinned politely, but grief founds its way into his bloodstream again as Marley's attention was, once again, wavered.

Sam nodded at the boy once, before turning his attention to Marley with a smirk that Ryder could have sworn was flirtatious. "You ready, Marley?"

"You bet." She reciprocated his look, before turning back to Ryder. The boy – although trying his best to disguise it – was trying his best not to throw up. Something like that had weirdly made him _more_ nervous. She bestowed a short but ardent kiss on his cheek, looking into his eyes as if she was searching for something. "I'll see you later, babe?" He nodded in response, and with that, Marley and Sam began traipsing away from that density, greeting each other properly with smiles and laughs as they progressed further down the halls of McKinley.

Ryder huffed as he watched them go out of earshot and into their own world, talking. "I wouldn't promise anything."

* * *

**Thanks for reading, and don't forget to review with your thoughts about this chapter/story/where this might be going for Ryley/general ponderings about life (or, you know, MELISSA AND BLAKE AT THE INDEPENDENT SPIRIT AWARDS, OMG I CAN'T BREATHE). I'd love you forever ;)**

**Also: I started watching **_**The Flash**_**. I watched the whole series as it stands now in less than a week or so. I need help. This show has hella impacted me. It is all I think about now. Omg. If you're into it, seriously hit me up!**

**Sorry I didn't get this chapter up as soon as I would have hoped – although I'm on half term (although it's the last day, sniff sniff), I recently got a new puppy and she's adorable, but she's a piece of work :P our other dog's not sure about her yet, but I'm sure they'll be BFFs in a few weeks, lol.**

**Until next time…**

**-Beth :-)**


	11. The Misconceptions

**I'd like to apologise for not updating sooner (family issues and school etc.), and also in advance for this chapter. Hearts get broken. The angst is real. Sorry. Besides all that, I hope you can enjoy it! **

* * *

Every day that week there had been an excuse. Some rehearsal; some party; something more important than him. He couldn't even decipher which of her 'I love you's were real anymore, because it was so often that she had to say it…. _Had _to say it. She was so afraid and compelled to reassure him because his teeth were grit a little bit more after every occurrence, every time she sauntered away from him with one of her friends, or – more commonly these days – Sam. Ryder was still fond of the blonde man, but the way in which the boy's attitude had become more flirtatious alarmed him. Maybe it was paranoia or superstition of sorts, but mostly it was fear. And it was definitely fear of losing her, even fear of loving her. For the first time in his life, Ryder Lynn feared both holding onto things and letting go of them, and it was these uncertainties which threatened to drive him off the edge. He was never like this before… only around her. And that was another thing: was she good for him, or was this whole relationship a recipe for disaster? He despised his own thoughts day after day, and how he was questioning their relationship so often. Their relationship had once been a firm wall of ice, but now her popularity and his tentativeness were encouraging an ever-growing flame further towards that wall.

What was even more painful these days is when she gave him no warning. The chestnut-haired boy would even be waiting patiently at a table at Breadstixx, or standing outside a movie theatre when she would call and inform him that she'd have to cancel because rehearsals were overrunning, or her parents or friends needed her for an emergency. He felt more and more like second best. Meeting with her outside school had become a luxury to them now, and they'd gotten in trouble for public displays of affection within McKinley. They couldn't help it; they were so desperate for _something _to keep hold of, and they never knew when they'd have the chance to be close to one another again.

Despite everything, he still loved her. And he had to, because she felt the same way and it wasn't as though she was unaware of what she was doing. She knew this was killing him, and convinced herself every day to stop taking up offers when she was well aware that she had a date reserved – she just hated saying "no" to people when she went to a school where practically everyone depended on her.

Late March, and his paranoia was beginning to deny principal truths. Marley always had been a flirt, and no one expected any less. Of course, things had dialled down when Ryder meandered into the picture, but she still had that same sparkle and smirk, or that smile which could have suggested something more. Now, her boyfriend saw everything differently: telling a jock that she'd be there at a party, and any time she was around Sam, he couldn't help but feel nauseous. Her subtle suggestiveness had turned a neutral expression into a teeth-grinding, nostril-flared blaze of heat. He failed to mask his acidic looks that were so obviously seeping through, but he always tried to keep his temper intact, and never burst. That wasn't like Ryder. Or, at least, that wasn't like the Ryder that _she _knew.

That night, she saw a different Ryder – one she most certainly did not recall.

It was the night of another tedious rehearsal – a Friday night – and the brunette girl herself had promised Ryder that she would make time for him afterwards to get some frozen yogurt, at the very least. Ten minutes past their agreed time and he still sat in his car, waiting amongst the orange hue of lights in the McKinley High School parking lot, until suspicion began to dictate his actions and possessed him, unleashing a burning in his dilated pupils; an intense sensation of mistrust. That possessive suspicion nudged his feet into the building, hurtling him through doors that eventually led to the auditorium.

It was then when this Ryder began his transformation into the Ryder that no one had ever seen, even less so expected. As he saw Marley slowly and elegantly spinning into Sam's arms, touching his cheek softly with her palm and fingertips with her nose on his other cheek, puffing warm air onto the corner of his mouth, he was awestruck. The last cadence of the song sounded through the speakers as Sam stood, encircling Marley by the waist, his hand touching her bare stomach due to the sports bra she was wearing for rehearsal. They stood like that for seconds until the song ended. At this point, the new witness was boiling in anger as he scanned the two people he held dear in his life, holding each other for seconds on end, knowing from the passion in her eyes that her boyfriend was nothing but an afterthought to her. Finally forcing his feet to leave the room, he propelled his rigid body out of the school in a strange state of realisation; of betrayal; of his new acquaintance: anger.

Minutes later, he heard footsteps tap against the tarmac in the parking lot. He didn't see them – he was leaning against his car, looking inside it with his back to the school as he bit his lip hard enough for it to bleed. He was fumbling with his car keys to drive back (seeing as he obviously wasn't needed in her presence) when he heard her begin to apologise behind him, her wary tone informing him that she had sensed his anger. Maybe she had seen his clenched fists. "Sorry I was late, we couldn't get the lift right-" Marley began to explain once greeting him, and Ryder turned around at long last, though it wasn't at all the reaction she had been hoping. The still-present scowl on Ryder's face as he turned around told the girl that there was something else wrong – something that couldn't be cured with a simple apology. "Hey, are you okay, babe?"

"Why?" Ryder said simply.

He had sent her into confusion with one punctual word. "Why what-"

"Why, after all this time I've trusted you, do you decide to cheat on me?!" Ryder couldn't help but yell back. Anger was no longer an acquaintance as he came face-to-face with her. With tears threatening to rise, anger was a friend.

Marley was taken aback as her eyes narrowed, her stomach dropping as an indescribable weight made itself known on her body. "_What_?"

The boy sucked in a breath before biting the bullet, not bothering to sugar-coat anything as his voice took on an evident shake. "Is that why you've been cancelling our dates, huh? Is that why rehearsals overrun and you suddenly don't have time for me anymore? You're too busy making out or finally indulging in your sexual needs with Sam? One of my _best friends_? Because if that's true then you're one hell of a backstabber Marley Rose, and you haven't changed one bit since last year!"

She didn't hesitate to persist with her one word question; he had thrown her into even further confusion and another load of weights now pounded on her body with every word. "What?! Ryder, I promise you, I am not cheating on you with Sam! I don't think of him that way, he's just a friend!"

Ryder chuckled humourlessly. "A friend. More like a friend with benefits, right?"

"No!" Marley firmly denied, still standing in a blur of emotions and uncertainties. "How did you even jump to this conclusion?"

This was where Ryder narrated what was painfully etched on the back of his eyelids. "I was out here wondering where you were and if you were going to stand me up again, so I went inside to check if everything was okay, and caught you spinning _into his arms_ and _caressing_ his goddamn _cheek_ as he swam his hand _all over_ your ribcage."

When Marley heard that, her shoulders sank and her jaw dropped. How could he have misinterpreted that? "We were practicing, Ry! Mr Schue told us that we didn't have enough emotion, so he choreographed that last bit for us and we were practicing it. Baby, you know I would never cheat on you…" Marley walked up to Ryder and caressed his cheek, opting to console him rather than fuel his vicious temper.

"Well, you can't exactly blame me for thinking it, considering your past and all…" Ryder said bitterly, sending his girlfriend into a new state of astonishment - and she realised she would have to move mountains in order to change his emotions.

Mouth slightly ajar once more, Marley dropped her hand from her boyfriend's cheek in shock. "Jesus Christ, I can't_ believe_ you're throwing that in my face." She spat as she began shaking her head in disgust.

Ryder clenched his jaw. "But it's true, isn't it? You and Sam?"

"No it isn't! Of course it isn't, Ryder! Did you get a fresh dose of paranoia this evening, or something?!" At this point, the sapphire-eyed girl wasn't in a blur anymore. Instead, she just stood firmly in an area of disbelief and violation.

"But why do you keep blowing me off then?" Ryder persisted, needing to know facts if he was to be proven wrong. He demanded real reasons as oppose to the flimsy excuses he had received recently.

The boy's stubborn demands sent her even further into a feeling of violation; of disrespect and unfamiliarity. The girl yelled now as if the answer was so blatantly obvious that even a corpse could comprehend. "Because we want to perfect it! _Mr Schue_ wants us to perfect it! And I don't know about you, but I actually _care _about this stupid Glee Club and I want us to win at Regionals!"

"It's hard to believe that, considering you wanted nothing to do with Glee Club a year ago." Ryder retorted.

His narrow-mindedness was new to the brunette, and she struggled to like it. This was someone else driving her off the edge, and not her boyfriend. She knew it, and it was only a matter of time before he snapped out of it. Still though, Marley battled. "People change, Ryder. All the time!"

"Well, obviously not you. Once a slut, always a slut, right?"

Marley opened her mouth to say something, but merely let out a shaky sigh before clamping her lips tightly together. Her maze of emotions met oblivion all at once, and she now couldn't help the numb feeling that throbbed dully through racing veins as her eyes began to uncontrollably well up with tears, Ryder just staring at her in the dull glow of the parking lot lights. That final vituperation had made everything reduce to nothing but dust in their wake, as the fog began to clear in his jealousy-driven brain.

Unfortunately, he only realised she was being true to her word when it was too late. "Marley, I'm so sorry, I-"

"No." The girl in question said as a tear ran down her face. "Don't try to save yourself with _"sorry"_." Her words slithered off her tongue like venom as her face remained as firm as a boulder; she could practically feel that flame fizzing inside of her stomach in humiliation, anger, disbelief… every emotion she had vowed never to feel again. "Recently I've been busy and I know that's agitated you, but all this time I thought you still stuck by me. I thought you were still the Ryder Lynn that I fell for last year; the guy that was nothing but respectful, and civil, and sincere, and _good to me_! But those lines aren't blurred anymore. It's obvious what you think of me now. And not only do you not _trust me_ after all we've been through together; after all I've shared with you about myself… but you also think I'm still the same whore who broke your precious little heart in junior year." Marley spoke the words bitterly as more tears cascaded from her eyes.

It was useless attempting to grasp at those last shreds of their relationship, but he tried nonetheless. "No, Marls-"

"Don't you _dare _call me that. Ever." Marley half-hissed, half-whimpered as her bottom lip began to tremble. Another shaky breath escaped her mouth before she finally broke the silence between them. "We're through."

"Wait, Marley-" Ryder whined as he reached out to grab her wrist, trying to hold onto her as if letting her leave would be letting go – and he feared letting go. Alas, the girl tore away from him in an instant, as if he had a deadly disease.

"No! Don't touch me!" Marley barked, before looking at her right hand, which shook vigorously. Nostrils fuming, she began to force the beautifully decorated ring off her trembling third finger – the ring Ryder had lovingly given her for Valentine's Day: the promise ring. "And you can keep this piece of junk, too. Good luck trying to find someone who's willing to wear it for you next!" The brunette screeched as the tears streamed down her face with no interruption and, as a final gesture before storming off back home by herself, she threw the ring right at Ryder. Of course, Marley never really had a good aim despite her athletic status, and the piece of jewellery missed him and instead landed in a puddle a few feet away, but she didn't care. With one final mistrusting glare, Marley paced angrily away from the scene, sniffling uncontrollably, leaving Ryder no choice but to bask sourly in the aftermath alone.

Once the girl was well out of earshot, Ryder finally had the courage to move from his rigid state and instead shuffled over to the puddle, retrieving the ring that his girlfriend had worn faithfully just ten minutes ago. Only now, the ring was not warmed by her fingers, but was instead cold and considerably wet, and his girlfriend was now his _ex-_girlfriend.

"_Oh, Ryder…"_ He scolded himself as his eyes watered in devastation. _"What have you done?"_

* * *

The now-blotchy-faced teenager clumsily threw her keys down on the table, her heart racing at a dreadful speed. Her mother and father were out and wouldn't be back until Sunday, so she had the entire house to mope to herself, luckily – she hated to think of what she would have said when her mother inevitably rushed to the door to find a tear-sodden daughter, sniffing and slobbering like a miserable hound. Thoughts were going through her head at a thousand memories per minute, never straying from the unfortunate 5 minute fight that eventually broke them apart for good; the five minutes that told her everything she needed to know about him. Thinking about this triggered an involuntary whimper from between her lips, as she made her way to the staircase, sitting on the third step up with a sigh. She put her head in her hands. Why did she always have to screw things up between them? Those thoughts were almost gone as soon as they rose to her mind, though, because _no_, _he had screwed it up this time_ \- it was him who jumped to conclusions and forgot his loving courtesy for a few minutes. But… maybe she should call him. Maybe she made a mistake on ending things, especially the way they did…

"_No, Marley! He messed up, and you have every right to be furious! I mean, what boyfriend calls his girlfriend a slut, no matter how mad he is? So what if he didn't mean it? Considering the fact that he still said it, it must have been in his head somehow."_ A voice inside Marley's muddled brain spoke up, and it was proving very difficult for the brunette to ignore. _"You know what? Don't let him ruin your fun. Relationships suck, and you knew that all along. What's the point in being with one guy for the long term anyways? You're young, you're sexy, and you're single now!"_ The brunette's mind reasoned, trying to make her see the positive, but Marley couldn't understand how these thoughts were meant to make her feel better right now.

"_Hey, wasn't Kasey having a party tonight that she invited you to a few weeks ago?"_

And that was all it took for her brain to switch back. Back to the junior year Marley; back to the fun, flirtatious, young teenager who didn't care for guys that were just going to plummet her self-esteem. Besides, the whole idea of spending her evening alone, crying into a tub of ice cream seemed boring anyways, so she decided to get up, walk up the stairs, clear her smudged makeup and enter her luxurious room with new – yet still wavering – confidence in her step. She looked at the clock beside her room's door – it was only 7pm. The party started at eight, and that gave her enough time to send a text to her Cheerio friend, decide what she was going to wear, reapply her makeup and drive there in time for the fun to truly begin.

Maybe the Glee Club was just holding her back this entire time. Moreover, everyone on the Cheerios and most guys on the sports teams had brushed past the whole fiasco that happened last year by now, so she _could_ just be herself… if she wanted to. No hiding away, no concealing true colours – the misery could wait until the weekend. Turning to her iPod doc station, she quickly searched through her songs to find something fitting. It had been a long time since she had listened to anything from the charts _personally_, so she thought that maybe getting warmed up in preparation for the dubs of popular music (that would surely be the background music of the party) wouldn't hurt. Letting the easy chord progression weave its way to her eardrums, she finally felt assured enough to let her hair down from the high pony she had been wearing all day; she smoothed her fingers through her hair, soothing the scalp, before inspecting it in the mirror – it looked perfectly fine as it was, maybe just a brush through and a few loose curls for volume, but that was all that needed to be done.

The brunette then sashayed over to her walk-in closet, looking around for the perfect dress to wear. The array of colours activated a small smile at the corners of her mouth – she hadn't been to a party in so long, and she'd forgotten how ironically liberating it felt to wear a criminally skin tight dress - the ones that Ryder refused, saying she didn't need to wear garments like that to impress him. Of course that was sweet and something that made her heart turn molten in her body – and it was certainly a change from her past boyfriends – but she realised now how much she missed looking pretty for something; having people to impress. In the end, a gold-green and black lace dress with three-quarter length sleeves was selected, and she slid it on effortlessly over her modest, black lace undergarments which she had previously changed into upon getting home.

She sat back at her makeup table as she opened the desired palettes, brushes and tubes for the evening. Deciding in the end she wanted a misty look to go with her dark dress, she began applying her makeup, with dark, smoky eye shadow and winged eyeliner. This addition of makeup, like picking a dress, took time; it was not helped by the fact that her hand had taken on a tremble due to the rush of emotions from that night. Those thoughts still threatened to waver her concentration and accuracy on her makeup, reminding her of everything he had said – and every moment before that, as she went back to remembering all of the amazing opportunities he opened up for her –nonetheless, she had no choice but to brush those thoughts to the back of her mind with a flick of her mascara wand.

Finally, gracing her lips with a crimson shade and applying some bronzer to her cheekbones, she inspected her look in the full body mirror next to her wardrobe: the perfect dress, the perfect simple-but-dramatic makeup and, now, picking up a pair of black high heels, the perfect shoes. Now all was left was to style her hair a bit and grab her clutch bag, and just 20 minutes later after that, she was ready.

* * *

The thumping outside the house and the loud, muffled chatter immediately informed the blue-eyed girl that she was at the right address. She found that smirk which she had always been amicable with had crept up on her, but she didn't mind. Tonight, she could forget about him, and enjoy the party and the sensation of being single. Knocking on the door abruptly upon walking down the pathway to Kasey's house, she brushed a stray strand of hair from her face, along with the thoughts of the night's events once more – it seemed to happen every time her focus wasn't already occupied, as if those thoughts were racing her other ones to find a bigger place in her fogged-up brain. The door opened in seconds.

"Marley!" The brunette was greeted by her slightly smaller, strawberry-blonde cheerleading colleague, who was fashioning a similarly short dress. Upon seeing one of her closest friends, Marley's face lit up.

"Kase! God, I'm so glad I could make it." The girl greeted back, using a long term nickname for the girl as she gave her a hug, which the smaller girl reciprocated.

"I'm glad you could too – everyone will be so happy that you're here!" Kasey beamed as she replied over the loud drum and bass track in the background. The girl peered around the space behind her friend, before asking a question that the brunette wanted most to avoid: "Where's Ryder?"

Those two words sent a sharp pain back through Marley as those thoughts were given a kick-start, winning that constant race in her mind once again. "Oh," Marley managed to say after a few seconds' delay. "Right, yeah. Um... we sort of broke up, a few hours ago. Hence why I'm here instead of with him." Marley said, not looking at her friend, but instead, everything else around her. She was trying desperately to occupy her brain with something else.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry!" Kasey gaped, realising she shouldn't have asked. Kasey was one of Marley's only friends that truly accepted that she and Ryder were together.

"It's fine, don't worry. I…" Marley fumbled with her words, before concluding with: "I realised what a jerk he could be and called it off. I'm okay, seriously."

"Well, I'm still sorry." Kasey insisted, stroking up and down Marley's arm comfortingly. If anything, it made her more on edge. "But hey, nothing like a party to take your mind off it, right?" She smirked.

Despite her discomfort, the girl's smirk was contagious to Marley as she began to brighten up. "Yeah, I couldn't sit around eating ice cream when I could be embracing my first hours of singleness here."

"Well then, come in! Get yourself a drink in the kitchen. Seriously, as much as you want. The vodka supply needs to be gone before my parents even knew this happened." The Cheerio joked, letting her friend in. As the brunette walked into the party, scanning her eyes over the buzzing teenagers, she finally felt relaxed. She felt… at home here. And so, when more of the guests noticed her arrival, she met them halfway in chatter and hugs.

An hour later, Marley came to the conclusion that she really needed a drink, pronto. After an abundance of 'where's Ryder's, she decided that maybe this whole idea _wasn't_ a good plan, and although she tried to deny it, she was definitely having withdrawal symptoms from that friendly, chaste, not creepy but always romantic arm that found itself draped over her shoulders, or those palms which ghosted her hips and waist. Everywhere she turned, he was there. But it was the version of him that she had only met for the first time that night, and his harsh words repeated themselves over and over in her mind; she needed something to quench her thirst and clear the memories away all at once. She knew exactly where to find that.

Attempting to obtain at least _some _of her seductive charm in her miserable state, she sashayed her way to the kitchen – which acted as a bar – and grabbed a red cup, sloshing in a very generous amount of vodka and topping it with coke to take some of the sting off soon after. Upon finally assembling her drink, she took a long swig, before setting the plastic cup back down on the counter. She looked emptily at the drink in the kitchen light, thinking for a good few seconds that she was about to cry, before her grim thoughts found themselves interrupted, both blissfully and painfully.

"Well, well, well, Marley Rose." A teenage boy, around six foot one, strode into the kitchen, up to the girl in question.

The blue-eyed girl looked at him, before smirking and instantly recognising his face. "Good evening, Mark Thompson." She batted her eyelashes at the boy, matching his formality. The two were acquainted, to say the least - but that was ages ago, in sophomore year, and the two never really had an official end to their fling – not meaning that they had hooked up since then, but in the sense that they only drifted apart, and never officially broke up. Besides, they were never exclusive, and it was just one of Marley's notorious casual affairs.

"What is innocent-bad-girl-turned-Glee-Clubber doing here at a house party?" Mark smirked.

"I got bored of being the girl next door. This lifestyle is way more fun than that PG crap." Marley deadpanned, leaning against the counter top. "And, besides, I knew everyone missed me around here."

"Well, you're certainly not wrong." The dark-haired boy simpered, leaning his muscular arm against the fridge nearby. "And, where is Justin Bieber himself?"

This caused a giggle to rise from the blue-eyed girl's throat. "Well, Thompson, despite Bieber's extremely high test scores, I came to the realisation a few hours ago that he is a dumb idiot, and upon my realisation, I broke up with him." Marley brushed off as she took another drink of her beverage.

"Wow. What did he do to snap you out of your sickeningly romantic trance, then?" Mark egged her on.

"He came to the stupid conclusion that I was cheating on him when I was really just rehearsing a dance number, and called me a slut." Marley spoke nonchalantly, earning a wince from her friend.

"Ouch," Mark exclaimed, making an observation which acted as an explanation to that one-word answer: "I didn't think Care Bear had it in him to be mean."

"Yeah, well…" Marley sighed. "Anyway, it's over. And I don't want to sound like some nauseating rom-com character, but… I'd prefer it if we didn't talk about it." The brunette spoke into her plastic cup, already finishing her drink in a long sip.

"And I don't want to sound like the stereotypical, rom-com best friend," Mark sneered, "but sure, we don't have to talk about it. Although, I will just say…" The boy leaned closer to Marley and mumbled into her ear, his warm breath caressing her skin, "He's a huge jerk."

The girl smirked at the boy's flirtatious attitude as she made herself another drink, then turned around to him with that omnipresent, enigmatic twinkle in her eye. "You're drunk, Mark."

"Maybe," The taller teenager reasoned, "but I'm positive that my eyes aren't fooling me when I tell you that you look _so incredibly hot_ tonight." He bit his lip as he ogled at her.

"Yeah, no, you're definitely drunk." Marley confirmed, letting a sinful giggle escape her lips. "Go home, little boy."

"Not without you," Mark sniggered flirtatiously, causing his target to snort and raise an eyebrow quizzically.

"How much have you had to drink, sweetheart?" The brunette said, her voice as smooth as velvet as she began to lean her slender body against the kitchen counter.

"Does it matter?" Mark spoke almost incoherently. Then, upon seeing Marley's narrowed eyebrows, he chuckled. "I've had two beers. Now dance with me."

"What?" That sinful giggle was well and truly gone, and in its place was a new concept of confusion.

"Dance with me! I know how good your moves are, and I want a part of the action." The tall boy confirmed, giving her little room for excuse.

"Mark…"

"The old Marley Rose would." The boy hummed, tempting her, silencing any protests. Only a few seconds passed before she set down her drink and took his hand to the living room, masquerading as a dance floor.

And so they went, dancing and singing along wildly with their friends to the track on the stereo, and she had forgotten how liberating it felt. Her notes were slurred and off-key due to the alcohol she had so far consumed, and she knew it would become more off-key as the night went on, and she didn't care. She didn't care about Ryder for a few minutes, she didn't care about that ever-problematic Glee Club, or the betrayals of the evening so far – she was on her home turf, with her people, and she loved it. Every sip of alcohol was exhilarating, every dance move fuelling her growing energy. As she played drinking games, talked animatedly to everyone and flirted, she couldn't help but feel alive. As if ever since June, she was dead, and now she had been lifted out of that permanent slumber at long last; her soul was thriving. And effortlessly.

That was until a slow song found its way onto the stereo. Her initial, now-drunk personality caused her to yell "Booorrriiiiiingggg!" as the song made its way to her ears, but any other angry slurs were silenced by a tap on her shoulder. She turned around.

"May I have this dance?" Mark crooned, holding out his hand, making use of his notable charm as he swayed slightly from side to side in his merry state.

"Maaaaaark…" The girl trailed off, knowing what he was capable of doing. She had been down that road before, and could recall the same advances; the same ways of appealing to her.

"Come on, what's holding you back?" The tall man slurred. Marley knew what was holding her back – it was seemingly obvious in her expression, because the boy before her identified it immediately. "And don't say it's Four Eyes, Mar, because you broke up with him. Isn't it time to move on from that jerk?"

"It's been five hours." Marley whined, taking a swig of her drink. Oddly, her muddled brain provided logic in that moment.

But that observation still didn't quite rebuff his advances for good. "Exactly. And you know very well that five hours alone is long enough." Mark smirked.

"Maaaaaark…" The girl whimpered again. "I miss him. I miss my jerk of a boyfriend." She slurred in another wail, once again speaking the truth when a sober mind wouldn't have.

"Your jerk of an _ex_-boyfriend," Mark corrected, "called you a slut in front of your face."

For the first time that evening, Marley seemed flustered and silenced for a second. The taller boy almost thought she would be flabbergasted for an age with how dramatically she had halted, but she soon found her way onto a new (although weak) argument. "But he didn't meeeeaaaaaan it. He's so good to me."

"Then why are you here? Why are you spending your evening with me instead of with him?" Mark reminded her, causing her to sigh.

"Because I broke up with him," Marley said, now very confused and dumbfounded once more. "Didn't I?"

"Yes." The boy sneered, confirming her question as he lowered his head to her, attempting to be sympathetic as a new approach. "You broke up with him, and now, you can dance with me. And nothing has to happen." Mark soothed, though they both knew that he was lying – but that didn't stop Marley from finally caving, taking his hand as he wrapped his other arm around her waist. "See? This isn't so bad, is it?" He smirked.

"You smell good." Marley batted her eyelashes as she leant her head on his shoulder, only possible because of the high heels she was wearing.

"Guess who's drunk now…" The dark-haired boy sniggered, though his own slurring meant that he was equally wasted.

"Sssshhhhh, we're dancing." Marley cooed as she moved her hands to dangle around the back of his neck, with his own arms encircling her waist, smoothing his hands over the definite curve there. A tinge of her mind considered that as a betrayal, but that tinge fizzed out with another inhale of his cologne.

Mark giggled uncontrollably at Marley's eyes fluttering shut in front of him impulsively. "Is Little Miss Marley sleepy?"

"No, I'm just very comfortable here... with you." Her Dutch courage spoke for her, foolishly. That smidge of logic which was present once before had now vanished for the evening.

He grinned as the pair began to progress around in a slow circle. "Oh, really?"

"Mhmmmph." Marley giggled in response, before her eyes fluttered open to look at him, discovering only now that he was gawking at her. "What is it?"

"You're sexy when you're drunk." Mark observed as his mouth struggled to pronounce the words clearly.

"Oh, so I'm _not_ sexy when I'm _not _drunk?" Marley challenged with a smirk.

"You know what my answer is, Rose."

Her perfectly shaped eyebrows furrowed together at that bizarrely baffling retort. "No, I don't actually. My brain feels a bit like jelly right now. So you should tell me, otherwise I'll be sad."

Mark was finding her strange, annoying-yet-adorable personality more and more tedious – frankly, she hadn't been this hard to crack in the past, and he was losing patience, though he attempted to chuckle it off. "Shut up-"

"Don't make me sad." She chastised mockingly, pulling a charming frown in front of him before breaking out in quiet giggles.

"Okay, then." The boy whispered, and then, leaning down, he pressed their lips together, closing the gap between them, surprising her in an instant. It was soft, albeit slightly sloppy, and she could taste the alcohol on his lips, but they were warm and inviting – especially seeing as she had been craving any sort of affection for the last five hours or so. Several seconds passed, before Marley pulled away. That sober mind returned for a moment, and she knew - despite her single and drunken state - that this was wrong.

"Mark…" Marley spoke hoarsely in shock and warning - they both knew what could happen if they continued.

"Mar, Bieber's not here anymore. Do you see him anywhere? He's gone, okay?" The boy countered, and upon the inevitable sadness that Marley's face then projected, he lifted her chin up with his finger, leaving her no choice but to stare helplessly into his secretive gaze. "But I'm here now. You can channel all your emotions into something else. All these feelings, all these needs you have… You can finally give into them with me. Come on, it's time to let go. And you and I both know the perfect way to get over someone." He ended with a smirk.

She didn't know what it was, but in that moment, something snapped inside of her. All of these needs she had lovingly sacrificed for Ryder came back all at once. When she was dating Ryder, there were no needs, and she was happy taking it slow with him, but now… all of the thoughts she had hidden away for months returned and left an empty, aching feeling in her stomach. An aching feeling that needed to be filled, and she knew how. Mark was offering it to her on a silver platter, and it was preposterous, but it was also preposterously tempting.

Mark spurred her on again, by kissing the corner of her mouth, and she let him. Moments went by, where Marley's eyes never strayed from his lips. Her impractical lust grew.

"Marley, I know you want to. It's obvious."

"I…" The brunette breathed, as she continued with her internal battle. It was harder and harder to listen to her head, practically screaming at her not to; to slap him right in the face instead and stumble to Ryder's house to make up immediately. But her stomach ached for love, any sort of love that she could find, and she was so desperate for the feeling of someone's lips on hers again, of wandering hands, of someone telling her she looked beautiful rather than telling her she was a slut. So, after several moments of fighting with her own emotions, she finally decided which one was more important… in the same way she had made most decisions that night: foolishly. She couldn't change her stripes as she thought about the night so far: feeling so at home, having fun with old friends, being part of the popular and exciting crowd with whom she was well-acquainted. Besides, she knew that it was what the old Marley would have done. And since she wanted to go back in time to then, she figured that Mark would be her momentary time machine.

So she caved, using her hands that were wound around his neck to bring him closer to her and reconnecting their lips with passion and lust, Mark not hesitating for a second to reciprocate.

* * *

The next morning, Marley woke up slowly, letting out a groggy whimper as her eyes adjusted to her surroundings. A bright light was coming from the huge window opposite the bed, and she groaned, protesting against the sunlight. Her head was pounding, and she clamped her eyes back shut.

What even happened last night?

She begins to recall, remembering vague recollections of drinks, people, music… and after a few more minutes, a wail from between her lips punctured the air of the room softly as she began to recollect the meatier aspects of yesterday. Ryder. Yelling, crying, throwing the promise ring at him before bawling all the way home. They broke up, and recalling that was enough for more memories to come flooding back into her clouded brain: getting ready for the party, arriving, Kasey, dancing, singing, beer pong… but there was something else; something else that Marley couldn't put her finger on, no matter how hard she tried to scavenge through her cluttered brain and rewind her blurry vision from last night. She remembered walking, stumbling in zigzags to someone's driveway, giggling uncontrollably…

She felt a rustle of bed sheets next to her, and couldn't bear to open her eyes again, so she assumed that it was the cat. Yes, the cat.

But Marley didn't have a cat.

And suddenly, this wasn't her bed. This wasn't her room. And this all became very apparent when she felt lips graze along her jawline, along with a groggy voice sniggering: "Good morning, sexy."

Marley's eyes shot open as her hung-over brain finally comprehended everything, looking around her to confirm her suspicions: someone else's room, someone else's bed, but… the clothes and undergarments strewn across the floor of the bedroom were undoubtedly hers. She bit her lip and prepared herself for the worst, as she turned to her left – a dark-haired boy, covered by the thin white sheets, stubble gracing his lower face as he smirked at her, his hand caressing her far waist in the most sickening, seductive way; Marley became very aware of the feeling of her bare skin against the duvet.

She dug the heels of her hands into her eyes, rubbing violently, as if she could rub away reality and the memories of last night, but alas, all she rubbed away was her makeup – the heels of her palms were now dusted in black; she probably looked awful, but there were more important things to care about at that moment in time. More important things that she wished she could forget or change, but things that needed attention in her clogged up brain… if only he gave her the chance to do that.

Suddenly feeling very exposed, she tugged at the bed sheets that covered her, pulling them right up to her collarbones so there was no chance of him seeing her like last night again. She turned to him again with a frustrated sigh, then asked gingerly: "Are you… naked?"

"Don't act all innocent with me, Rose," Mark sneered sleepily. "You can't pretend that last night wasn't amazing."

"I don't remember much of it… or, what you're hinting at, anyway." Marley insisted, feeling increasingly ill as the realisation of last night sunk in with his cloying words.

"We were both pretty drunk, Mar. But that doesn't change how awesome it was." The boy replied with a mischievous grin.

Her frustration was reaching new levels; frankly, she was afraid for the both of them as this red hot sensation rose to her throat. "I feel like I'm gonna throw up."

"Well, you did have a lot of vodka last night-"

"No, no, not because of that, no." Marley blurted out, squeezing her eyes shut. This couldn't be happening. "Last night was a mistake."

"Care to explain how?" Mark smirked. "You're single, I'm single, and it was a simple little fling. Nothing to get your panties in a twist."

"No, it was a mistake." Marley persisted with added annoyance, putting her head in her hands. "A huge mistake."

"Is this about Bieber?"

Marley stayed silent. Ryder. It didn't matter that they were broken up, she still felt like she had performed an act of betrayal. That was something she vowed never to do, but here she was, lying in another man's bed on a Saturday morning after a drunken mistake.

Her muteness connected the dots for the tall boy. "Of course it is." He said exhaustedly. "Let it go, Marls. Care Bear's not here anymore. Stop wasting your time and be with someone who will _actually_ put out-"

"Sometimes relationships aren't just about _"putting out",_ Mark." Marley grumbled between her fingers. She dragged her hands down her face, letting out a sigh, then bit her lip, leaning back in the bed.

"Mar," Mark began after a long silence. The girl turned her body away from him, looking instead at his bedside lamp. He huffed in response to her movements, and edged over to her side of the bed, running his hand up and down her hip – the way Ryder used to, but it was far from the same. The action repulsed her now. "Don't say you regret last night. You were all over me." He mumbled, kissing her ear.

"I was drunk, Mark." The girl breathed. "I was alone and desperate and completely wasted, and you took advantage of that. You _knew_ I would be all over you."

"Why are you so dissatisfied? You were in need of adoration and I gave it to you. I was just giving you what you wanted." Mark reminded her as his lips moved to her neck. The brunette tore herself away in an instant and sat up.

"You made me cheat! You tempted me when you knew I couldn't say no!" She exclaimed.

"Who were you cheating on exactly, Marley? Ryder? Because you broke up with him! You had _no one_ to cheat on!" The boy recalled, irritated that he wasn't getting the usual 'morning-after treatment'.

"I proved him right! Ryder calls me a slut, and then I sleep with someone else less than 7 hours later! Don't you see that?" Marley yelled, then calmed herself down, taking a few breaths. "I should go."

"No, stay-"

"And do what? Go for another round? You're a pig." Marley spat as she turned her body to the side of the bed, letting the sheets fall from her upper body as she put her underwear and bra back on with her back to him.

"Let me give you some aspirin, your hangover probably kills." Mark tried to reason with her.

"Aw, you're a true gentleman, Mark Thompson." The cerulean-eyed girl spat back sarcastically.

They stayed in silence whilst she zipped her dress back up and searched around the room for her heels and purse, putting the jewellery she wore last night in her clutch upon finally finding it. Mark shook his head. "Maybe I took advantage of you, and that was wrong. And I'm sorry. But the old Marley wouldn't-"

"The old Marley isn't here anymore, so save us both some time and stop clinging onto that fantasy." Marley shot back, interrupting him as she slid on her second shoe. "Goodbye, Mark. Thank you for a pleasant evening." She chuckled humourlessly, before leaving his house.

Luckily, Mark lived only a few blocks away from Kasey, so a few minutes of angry striding was all it took to retrieve her car.

Once inside the vehicle, Marley stayed motionless, both hands on the wheel, though she had no intentions of driving home just yet. She bit her lip as her eyes began to well up with tears at a rapid pace. She stayed like that, crying, sniffing, whimpering for a good few minutes, occasionally whispering "what have I done?" as more tears streamed down her complexion, ruining her already-smudged makeup. Minutes passed, until she decided to get her phone out of her purse and check if she had any texts. 9 missed calls. She tapped into her phone, not bothering to see who they were from, then pressed the device to her ear.

"_Marley, baby, I'm so sorry. I was a huge jerk, I know. I shouldn't have said what I said, and you know I didn't mean it… but I guess that doesn't matter to you, does it? …Listen, I don't blame you for ending things between us. I went too far. I jumped to conclusions. But, all I'm saying is… please give me another chance. We can make this work, and go back to the way we were before everything got in the way. I love you so much, Marley. Please, just… just call me back when you get this. I love you."_

Marley choked out a few sobs as she listened to the voicemail. His voice was so filled with desperation and longing, with passion and desire… yet she had thrown everything away with a few drinks. She listened to the next voicemail with her flaming anger sizzling easily into profound regret.

"_I can't stop thinking about you. My brain won't quit replaying everything: how one minute, you're caressing my cheek and acting so sweet, reassuring me about you and Sam… and the next, you're crying and telling me never to go near you again. I can't believe I said those words to you, Marls. I didn't even recognise them as they came out of my mouth. Please, please, please know that it wasn't me. I don't think of you like that; I trust you more than anything in the world not to cheat on me."_ Those words hit Marley particularly hard. _"I'll never stop apologising for what I did. I'll never stop wishing that I could go back in time and not become jealous for no reason the way I did. I love you so, so, so much, Marley. More than you will ever know. And if you let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up for what I did to you. Please call me."_

"I love you too…" Marley sniffled into the receiver, though she knew he couldn't hear. The 7 other messages were similar, desperation growing more and more in his voice with every one. Marley was sobbing uncontrollably at the end of them all, despising herself with every word of adoration which slipped unsuspectingly across his naïve tongue. Every time he said that he trusted her, a shiver erupted through her spine and a sharp pain returned to her head – both the events and her foolish drinking were to blame for that. Every time he said he wanted to go back in time, she whispered that she wanted to do the same, as if he was next to her instead of miles away. Never had she been so distant and _felt _so distant from him; never had she felt so tortured, so awful; never had she felt so much hatred for herself.

After 20 minutes of crying, she finally calmed down enough to make a call. Pressing on the name and initiating a request, holding her iPhone up to her cheek, the person picked up instantly_. "Hey, Mar."_

"H-Hey." Marley sniffled back as more tears trickled down her cheeks.

"_Is everything okay?"_

"No, not really." Marley whimpered through more sniffles. "Santana, I did something really stupid and I need you to help me."

* * *

**Yeah… sorry. I had it planned since October. Besides, I'm too mean to keep their relationship happy, aren't I? Marley's dress for Kasey's party is in my bio for those who are interested, too... if not, maybe it will take your mind off all the heartbreak I gave you in this chapter?**

**In other news, who freaked out about Melissa in her Supergirl costume? I was so hyper, even though this whole week I've been so incredibly drained – blame the school musical (I can't stop singing Grease now, aaah).**

**What angered me beyond belief, though, are those not-so-nice comments, saying things like her boobs are too small, or the costume wasn't "sexy" or "revealing enough". Some people are even saying she looks like a librarian, and I saw one person saying she looked like a "ditsy soccer mom in a cosmetic store". What the hell is that even supposed to mean? How can people just make instant conclusions that she isn't the right Supergirl because she isn't showing her cleavage, her legs and stomach etc.? 1) It isn't her fault for **_**wearing a costume, **_**2) Have you heard of sexism? It exists and you're flaunting it with your dumb superheroine standards. Kindly be quiet.**

**Twitter rants aside… please review if you can, I'd love to hear your thoughts. A special gold star goes out to the lovely Tif S for her comments and observations, and for her awesome stories right now. You slay!**

**-Beth :)**


	12. The Comforter

**Here's another chapter – hopefully you'll feel better after the catastrophes that ensued in the last chapter? Or not? I guess we'll see.**

**For those who are wondering, I worked out the exact dates of when all this took place (because I'm a bit of a dork and it would have bothered me otherwise): Ryley broke up on March 27****th****, and the encounters of this chapter and the next chapter spread across the weekend of 28****th**** – 29****th**** March.**

**This chapter is very much rated T, just in case you couldn't already guess that, and just so you know to steer clear if you're triggered by a bit more extreme language, or by underage drinking etc… this T/W really should have come with the last chapter, but oh well…**

* * *

She found her head resting at the foot of her bed more and more over that eventful weekend, gazing up at the ceiling, or leaning against the edge in a foetus position and staring ahead in a blank haze. She reminisced, sourly. She didn't even consider homework at this point, not even thinking about possible excuses she could proceed with on the following Monday. The thoughts just kept swirling in that hideous whirlpool of pandemonium. It seemed as though her eyes often drifted subconsciously to the window pane of her room; to the centre; to a bouquet of peonies. It had been weeks since she had felt those fresh flowers in her grasp, and now they were all but potpourri as the floor below it became littered with the dry, shrivelled-up aftermath. If she had known on Valentine's Day that the bouquet would come to foreshadow their relationship once dead, maybe she wouldn't have accepted them.

At some point over the weekend – Marley couldn't, nor cared to remember when – she called Sam. Not to vent, not to make the same mistake she had already made on that drunken Friday night; she told him that the rehearsal they had planned on Sunday would have to be compromised. _But the competition is less than three weeks away_, he had reminded. The brunette knew, and she told him that, but it was more important – besides, their routine was near faultless anyway, as was the rest of the set. The vocals and the choreography were perfect, with time to spare for tweaking things. It was ironic, though, that she only thought to cancel any rehearsals until _after _she had separated herself from Ryder. Maybe he was less important to her than she thought.

But if that was true, why had she spent the entire weekend so far calling up any witnesses that had seen her and Mark yesterday, practically blackmailing them not to tell Ryder or anyone else (if their drunken brains had let that memory slide), all the while crying into Santana's shoulder after she had legged it to Lima spontaneously from NYU?

"_Jesus Christ, when you said you'd done something stupid, I didn't expect it to be a Ben and Jerry's fiasco." Santana spoke upon finally tracking the brunette teenager to her house, letting herself in and finding the girl curled up on her bed with a spoon and a carton of ice cream - anyone that knew her knew that she never ate the sugary substance because she would have an earful from Sue otherwise. The brunette made an effort to keep sugar out of her diet as much as possible. It was rare occasions when she consumed the cold, therapeutic dessert – occasions such as great remorse or heartbreak._

_Upon hearing Santana enter, Marley attempted a thankful, welcoming response, alas all of that was lost in the translation and instead only a dog-like wail was heard. The McKinley scholar could figure out the seriousness of the situation instantly – she looked even worse than Santana had imagined, and she had imagined things on the whole two hour flight there._

"_Look, I'm gonna hazard a wild guess using my Mexican Third Eye: Bieber did this to you?" The girl rolled her eyes as she rested her bag on a nearby table and sashayed gingerly over to her bed, perching on it and raising her eyebrows._

_Again, Marley tried to accentuate words, but it was easier said than done. "N-No… I d-id this t-to… m-yself…" She slurred into the uncomfortable air of the room._

_Santana was awestruck, but her so-called mind reading abilities couldn't have been far off. She sensed it. "Okay, Mar. Why don't you… try… to explain what happened?"_

_And she did. A few times she had to pause so to keep her voice from turning into an ever-growing crescendo, but Santana seemed to be able to connect the dots in between her choking sobs and incoherent wails. By the time she was finished, an entire pint of cookie dough ice cream had been sacrificed._

"_So… you broke up with Ryder, but you didn't mean to, but you did, and then sauntered off to some party and slept with that Mark guy, and then legged it out of his house the following morning and then Ryder had left you a bunch of Care-Bear messages, and then you called me, and then drove home, and then opened a pint of ice cream and took some aspirin, and changed into your pyjamas, and was just about to put on 'Bambi' when I came in?" Santana attempted to confirm the lengthy explanation in one sentence, and was relieved to hear the story completed and established when the brunette nodded her head miserably._

"_I just… how could I be so stupid?" Marley sunk back in her bed with her head resting in her quivering palms. "I've never gotten so drunk that I just… _blacked out _like that. I don't remember sleeping with Mark at all. I just remember the morning after and everything he said, and this sensation I had which I could just tell from that it had actually happened…" Her voice was beginning to get better until that sentence, but now it crumbled on recalling everything she had so badly wanted to erase from her memory. "And Ryder and his stupid 9 million messages, and how he just- he didn't mean it- but now- now… everything he said is _true. _He calls me a slut, and then I sleep with another guy. I mean, how the hell am I going to bounce back from that?"_

"_Well, I'm gonna tell you what _I'm _gonna do: I'm gonna go all Lima Heights on that Mark guy because he, like, raped you. That isn't okay." For the first time in an age, there wasn't a hint of sarcasm or witty comfort in the older girl's voice. Her look alone could injure._

_Marley tore her hands away from her face. "It wasn't… rape… I wanted it too, remember? I was the one that practically sucked his face off first." She reminded her friend, actually fearful due to the girl's morbid expression._

"_Maybe, but he took advantage of you. He knew you were soppy and miserable and very, _very _drunk, and he did it anyway. I'm pretty sure that's still an awful thing. I mean, don't _you _see it that way?" The older girl's expression softened but was still far from warm and unserious. _

_The brunette struggled to see the externals, returning her hands to her face and speaking through her fingers. "I… I don't know what to think anymore. I mean, of course I initially saw Mark as the bad guy… and I saw Ryder as the bad guy… but now, I just see me. I just see me, and how all of this was _my _fault. None of this would have happened if I just worked with Ryder past it; if I just cancelled a few rehearsals or parties; if I didn't go to that fucking party…"_

"_Okay, shut up." Santana ceased the list of regrets with a sharp interruption and a raised eyebrow. "Maybe that's true, but you need to stop blaming yourself for everything. You were just being human. I mean, I thought Justin Bieber 2.0 was a nice guy, but apparently that wasn't true, was it?"_

"_No, you don't understand!" Marley insisted through nibbling on her fingernails. She took a deep breath and drew her hands away from her face once more, expecting the damage on her nails with another strenuous sigh. Breathing was a difficulty. "I sh-should have known Ryder would break. He's been so nice all this time, and I've _never _known a guy _that nice _without blowing off any steam whatsoever. Maybe that outburst was just… him being human."_

"_Oh, so freaking out about a dance number and calling his girlfriend a slut is _human_?" Santana deadpanned._

_The sapphire-eyed girl still appeared torn. "I-I don't know… maybe… I mean, considering all of the weight on him over the past few weeks when our relationship was really weird and shitty and one-sided-y…"_

"_So you didn't sit with him at lunch and skived off a few dates. I've had worse relationships." The girl's chocolate gaze flicked to the side, before returning on her wounded friend. The friend in question huffed in frustration and wriggled under the woman's eyes._

"_No, it- it was so _constant_. And I knew it was hurting him, and I still didn't do anything about it. I just- this was the first guy who actually cared about me in like, forever, and he treated me with respect, and he was smart and funny and kind and sweet and cute, and-"_

_Santana rolled her eyes at her sappy, remorseful rant. "And _what_?"_

_Marley looked down, sniffing once as another tear rolled down her cheek and her eyes grew darker, blinking salty water back slowly. "And I took him for granted. I mean, he was the first guy I actually loved… since…"_

"_Since Dylan?"_

_The girl's breathing hitched, remembering that long-lost memory that only Santana knew about. The only person she had exposed that secret to. She nodded, "Yeah," and felt new tears begin to flourish in her red, ever-darkening eyes._

_The tanned girl didn't mean to bring up that memory, she really didn't, but not saying it herself meant that the brunette would have to let that thought dance in her labyrinth mind. Santana was only trying to save Marley from herself. At this point, their distance seemed so far away that she felt the urge to enclose the cloudy-brained girl in a hug, and did so as Marley began to sob. Santana rubbed her back. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry…"_

"_I-It's not y-our... it's not…" Marley buried those words in Santana's cardigan, not that they weren't already incomprehensible._

"_Hey, it's okay." Santana hushed, grovelling internally, trying so hard to find a new lead to the heavy conversation. "But you found out later that you never really loved him, and I know that took a lot, but maybe it's just like that with Ryder. Maybe you cared less than you thought."_

_Marley shook her head, tearing her head away to look her friend in the eyes. "N-No, no way. Everything's different, people are different… Ryder's different. There's this fresh feeling in my stomach, and it doesn't go away, and I know that there's something about him that's different. I mean, I can't think of any similarities that they share – him and Dylan. I know it's not the same, I just _know_." _

_Santana sighed. "I've never seen you so obsessed with a guy. And this guy likes _algebra_, and _books_, and _early nights._ Who are you and what have you done with Marley Rose?" She joked._

_Marley giggled, sniffing. "Don't get me started. I've already spent the whole weekend telling people that I'm not the 'old Marley' anymore. I've grown up. My taste is… different."_

"_So, instead you like book-worms and sleeping with douche-y jocks on the side?" Santana smirked, lifting an eyebrow once more, but shifting it back as soon as she noticed Marley's shaken, off-guard expression. "Sorry. Too soon."_

"_Yeah, "_too soon", _I slept with the guy less than 24 hours ago." But that joke still raised the point: that event _did happen_. And it still hadn't been a day since yet, though it already felt like years. She _wanted _it to feel like years. She craved forgetfulness._

_Her sad expression returning and a bright blue gaze threatening to fade to oblivion, Santana looked for a new topic frantically. It was no longer talking about it that helped; she required a distraction. "So d'you want a movie marathon? We can order pizza, Chinese, sushi…?"_

_Marley sniffed. "Sushi sounds better. I'm full and I'm on a diet… and it's my favourite food."_

_The dark-haired woman rolled her eyes once more. "Coach Sylvester has _definitely _gotten into your head… but okay, if it's what the heartbroken girl wants." She spoke almost mockingly, allowing Marley a miniscule smile before her face wavered and dazed out, just watching Santana as she pulled out her phone. _

_A thought decayed any emotions of happiness as her face went pale once again. "He's never gonna take me back… is he?"_

_Santana looked up from her researching. "…Is that what you want?"_

_Marley sighed. "Every emotion I have just ricochets back to him. He was so perfect-"_

"_Yes, I know, and charming, and sweet, and kind, and respectful, and a good kisser… I thought we went through this?" Santana huffed. _

_The cerulean-eyed gaze followed her mentor to the window as her phone rose to her ear, calling the sushi place that Marley was so fond of and knowing the brunette's order so well that the phone call almost seemed scripted. Marley sighed, and whispered as if the whole matter was a secret. "Of course it's what I want. I want him back."_

_Half an hour later and Marley was sobbing into her sushi. Santana turned around from the mirror and noticed. She exhaled heavily. "What now, Mar? Don't tell me, there was _sushi _there last night?"_

_Marley shook her head. "No… In June… end of school… when we first got together officially… auditorium… he bought us sushi… told me… h-he-" That was all she could muster before putting down her chopsticks and bursting into fresh tears and hounding cries. Santana dropped a piece of hair which she was twirling around a perfectly manicured finger and made her way over to the brunette for another hug._

"_There, there." She whispered. "Now come on. Finish your avocado maki."_

"_H-He… saved… the avocado maki… for me…" She tried to continue with her retelling, but Santana's attention was wavering. "His kisses…"_

"_Yeah, yeah, yeah, his kisses, his eyes, his smile, his haircut…" Santana rolled her eyes for the umpteenth time as she flicked a piece of sushi into her mouth and spoke through her mouthful. "Mar, you didn't even sleep with this guy, how could he have meant _this much _to you?"_

_The brunette blew her nose into a tissue nearby. "He just did, okay? Sex doesn't define a relationship, you know?" _

_Santana shrugged as she watched her friend wipe her eyes with the cuff of her sweatshirt. She felt… proud. She had changed, but she had matured; she was better. Perhaps not sensible still, but more conscious of her actions – if any conclusions were to be drawn from this bizarre weekend._

_Eventually, the food was finished, and on with the movies. "Nothing involving love or relationships." Marley insisted in a new bitter grump._

_Santana spoke dryly. "Well… that narrows our movie selection down to about zero."_

_Marley sighed. "Forget it, then. Maybe I should just go and change my Facebook status to 'it's complicated'."_

_Santana bit her lip. "Look, we both know that there's no way I'm letting you do that. Let's go and find your movie collection and find the perfect kick-ass movie to get your mind off Bieber, okay?"_

_Marley nodded vaguely, letting her mentor grab her frail hands and lift her body off her bed at last, leading her downstairs. Santana took no other input in consideration when finally reaching the movie selection, telling the brunette to rest on the couch as she plucked films from the rack in the living room, Marley just lounging back as she picked comedies, Disney, animation. A lot of movies. Santana sighed and admired her work before sliding the first movie into the DVD player. Hopefully, this would last them long enough for Marley's heartbreak to dim slightly for a while._

_At around halfway through the first picture, Marley was absentmindedly scrolling through her Instagram feed when her gaze drifted upwards to the time: exactly 24 hours from their break up. No tears were shed. Instead, she felt numb; it was if she didn't even care if she stopped living. She just wanted everything to end – she began to feel annoyed by the memories and their frequent interruptions in her life, rather than being upset by them. That was until her phone began ringing, a heart shaped emoji next to the name 'Ryder' (which she hadn't bothered to change) reminding her of everything that had happened in those 24 hours: the pain and the more painful. _

_Santana looked over to Marley's ringing phone as she stared at it with a helpless expression, her phone making her frail fingers vibrate with the mechanism. The older girl's face became serious once more. "Don't."_

_Marley struggled to tear her attention away from the screen as the ringing persisted. "But…"_

"_Marley, what are you even gonna say? "_I love you, I slept with another guy because of how in love with you I am_"? "_I still stink of vodka and I called Santana all the way from New York to help me stop crying over you"_? Let him go, Mar. And if you're not going to, you need to do it in person. Not some cheesy, crummy phone-call."_

_The ringing ceased, but the brunette's thoughts didn't. She could practically hear him leave another painful voicemail… or was 9 enough? Her considerations were halted by a sudden realisation: she was living this break-up through voicemails, when what she really needed was to talk to him. Santana could never have been more right. _You need to do it in person if you're not going to let him go_. And she couldn't let him go; how could she after today? Maybe she could hide the events with Mark from him, and tell him later… or never tell him at all. She despised secrecy within relationships – and could now see why Ryder had his initial suspicions; why he had gone insane because of them – but right now, it was one secret versus an escape from oblivion. No more dead peonies or sour recalls – she found the cure to all of her misery now, and without Santana, that realisation would have only come once it was too late. She needed to thank her for that later._

_While the wounds were still fresh, she needed to escape the sting by something that stung even more: seeing him in person. It was one vital sting, versus a wonderfully temping, treacly future. And Ryder offered both, just by the view of him. The truth was the sting, but he was the future._

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**There you go! What's Marley's next move? Who's Dylan? Theories?**

**Sorry this chapter was a bit of a filler, I just needed to get this out – I promise that things will get interesting again in the next chapter! Even though this was a bit of a boring one and a few weeks ahead of real-life time, I hope it gave you an idea of how Marley's character has developed… and I hope I wrote Santana convincingly enough *cringe*.**

**Also, have you guys seen all of those candids of Melissa on the set of Supergirl? My heart. Oh my God. It makes me happy to think that we'll be seeing a lot more of those still, and it really takes our motherly minds off the bizarre, inexcusable hate she gets -_-**

**I hope to update soon!**

**Beth :-)**


	13. The Forgiveness

**Hooray for posting things on the day they would actually happen in real life! You might like me a bit more after this chapter… ;)**

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Reflecting, hours seemed seconds. The brunette could map out every inch of those hours in her brain and trace back to all the areas of significance – the dreadful times that moved as slower seconds, or the happier moments which could be missed by a blink. Those hours, seconds – whatever she felt like calling them amongst her scribble of thoughts – didn't stop thudding on her. Her mind would stray, but it would always find itself magnetised to those hours. Those hours when the only place to dry her tears was on Santana's shoulder; those hours where, in the blink of an eye, dark thoughts would dominate. She was left to be submissive to her own demon, just like she had been submissive so many other times that weekend. She curled back against her spine, reeling against the thoughts, but they had so much more to do to her: they would take her sleep. They would take her away and mould her into whoever they wanted. She resisted as hard as she could, but the magnetic force of her thoughts would drag her back by her feet into what she believed was a world unescapable… or, at least, unescapable without him.

And still the brown-eyed girl's snarky words wove their way to the brain capacity that was still left - the words telling her to speak against the lump in her throat; to speak to Ryder and sort things out. She didn't have to tell him about Mark unless she thought she could take it. He had obviously wanted her back too, and seeing as their lust for each other was now unmistakeably mutual, better to talk through it now than postpone it further and risk him giving up, right? That was what Santana had said, at least. And even though Marley had an impressive amount of relationship history, the college girl's was better still. More knowledgeable, more logical, less foolish.

So, after several hours of Santana's sometimes-genius, sometimes-ludicrous advice, along with several hours of the brunette teenager crying into the twenty-something's hair with the greatest remorse imaginable, Marley Rose conjured up an idea – one never experimented before. Previously, when she had slept with other guys, she had shrugged it off with the conclusion that it was the original guy's fault, as he had not kept her satisfied enough. This time, though, it was completely different. She _cared _about Ryder. Ryder wasn't someone who could be shrugged off easily – he gripped onto her skull with clammy hands and awkward dangling, his glasses balancing precariously on his nose as his body trembled with fear of losing her. It was for that reason, that imagery and the addition of Santana's advice that she had arisen early on that Sunday morning, leaving a note for Santana, putting extra effort in her appearance – even more than she would usually – with the full intention of turning up at Ryder's house and asking for one thing only: , not for drunkenly sleeping with someone else – she stood firm with her beliefs: it was best to exclude that happening from Ryder at all costs – instead, the ocean-eyed girl desired his forgiveness for the way _she _had acted that night. She understood that her actions – throwing things, snapping, calling everything off rapidly and not working with him to get past it – were ill-mannered and the source of how all of the following events had taken place; she yearned for his trust, and it had been all she was craving for the past two days. It may have been hard to come by, but her cravings had a tendency to be impractical.

The girl looked at her watch, which depicted the time as 8:46am. She hoped that he was awake, or else, the conversation with one of his parents would be a dreadful greeting. Now thinking of it, she hadn't been to his house since her meeting with the two – a foolish retrace, as now she was wringing her hands even more fretfully than before.

Biting the bullet and briskly sashaying down his driveway, passing his familiar silver car before allowing herself into the area, the girl slid between the wooden fence that outlined the house and its front garden and began making her way down the simple pathway that lead up to the Lynns' front door. Nervous thoughts plagued her, manipulating her breathing pattern to breathe awkward sighs and sucked-in breaths. She knocked on the door with pale knuckles a few times. She noticed that there was actually a working doorbell at the side of the dark brown, glossy door. She huffed again. The brunette considered trying out the bell, but soon decided against it, considering that she hadn't given a member of the family a chance to answer the door yet and thought it would be less than ideal to anger Ryder _or _either of his parents; but then, an abundance of seconds had passed – they were an eternity in her brain. So, she rang the doorbell. Several more agonising seconds passed. She rang again. With still no reply, she was about to ring for a third time as her plaguing thoughts grew cold and impatient, uncomfortable still, until a pyjama-clad, drowsy-looking Ryder Lynn answered the door whilst hastily rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands. Upon opening them again, he tried to subside his hazy vision (in the absence of contacts or glasses) as he looked at a figure at the door. Not being able to recognise the blur that stood before him, he blinked a number of times, trying to retrieve his vision.

Apparently her vow of keeping in a reserved manner capsized quickly at the sight of him, because a curious part of her brain took over, driven by impulse, sending a message to her hand. It was this impulse that triggered fuming nostrils, glaring eyes and a sharp slap to Ryder's face, throwing him into even more confusion as he clutched his cheek; throwing herself into the confusion alongside it.

"What the f-" He hissed, trying to see the culprit. Long, flowing, brown hair made him assume her gender as female; she was about 5'8; her eyes seemed captivating even in a blur, and a couple more blinks revealed the deepest, brightest blue… "Marley?!" He concluded, blindly reaching for his spare pair of glasses which were kept near the front door. Sliding the specs onto his complexion, confirmations met him with the new warm sensation on his cheek. "Wh-…What are you doing here?"

Since slapping the boy out of sudden fury, her emotions had now much softened, and had transformed into things even wilder. Deciding to dodge his question entirely (her ability to respond was suddenly compromised), she engulfed him in a huge hug as she buried her face into his pyjama shirt, bursting into unexpected tears, mumbling "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry," into his chest between choked-out sobs.

That act of chivalry left Ryder speechless and confused, to say the least, which considerably delayed his reciprocation of the tight hug. Wearily wrapping his arms around her small waist, he finally spoke. He was still in awe of seeing her. "Wh… why are you sorry?"

"I…" Marley sobbed, "I shouldn't have just called it off with you when we could have just worked it out over time and now I've ruined everything…" She said in one breath, slurring the words together in a high-pitched voice, sounding like a howling dog. "I'm sorry…" She whined again, unknowingly urging Ryder on to put an end to her yelping.

"No, no, don't be sorry. It was _my _fault, Mar." He whispered into her hair.

"I r-ruined ever-ry-thing…" She still sobbed, now taking fistfuls of his shirt and sobbing into him even harder. The boy himself showed no sign of irritation, just bewilderment, if anything.

"Marley, stop. You wouldn't have slapped me if you thought it was _all _your fault." He chuckled upon reflecting on the strange turn of events, causing Marley's head to lift up, revealing her chaotic complexion. All the make-up she had applied in the hopes of looking her best had been smudged, tear-streaked: her mascara, her eyeliner and eye shadow, her face blotchy.

"I'm sorry about that…" She whimpered upon her recollection of what had happened merely a minute ago – the crying had briefly caused her to forget about her unpleasant greeting.

"Hey, it's okay." Ryder said, ever caring.

Having blinked back more tears so that she could see things clearly, the girl turned her gaze to look at Ryder's cheek. Sticking out from the rest of his face, it was a crimson colour. "It's not okay…" She sniffed, reaching up to caress the hurt skin. She cursed under her breath, looking down from his intense gaze, then spoke with a blurred concoction of fragility and anger which he had never seen in her before. "God, I'm so stupid!"

"No, you're fine." The boy giggled. "I'm fine."

She persisted, seemingly in awe that he could brush off each absurd occurrence with _"I'm fine". _"I slapped you!"

"You did, but… I'm fine."

She raised an eyebrow at him, still not buying his cover-up and angering herself in the process. "You hesitated."

"I'm just surprised that you came back." He admitted in a hushed tone, causing her to look back up at him as their eyes locked for long seconds. The anger and disbelief that clung to her insides fizzed away.

"I'm surprised I did too." The brunette finally spoke, chuckling slightly.

He continued to look at her for a second, then seemingly broke his focus to the cemented brick steps beneath them. He sniggered again. "I'm also surprised that _you're _apologising about everything that happened, when it should be me."

But the brunette girl wasn't having any of that, and for someone as clever as him, she thought it foolish that he had said that without expecting her to object. "Ryder…"

"Let me." He spoke firmly but with the same softness as before. She relaxed her facial expressions and sniffed sharply, then looked up at him in a way that was clearly an invitation to continue; the boy cleared the growing lump from his throat and prepared himself for what was surely an incredibly overdue and awaited apology – _in person_. "I'm sorry for calling you what I did and throwing the things you _used to do _into your face as a defence mechanism for myself. That wasn't me, I didn't even think before I said anything. I guess I was just kind of sad because I felt like we were drifting apart, and… I didn't do the mature thing and work towards it. I would change everything if I could, but… I can't, so… you'll have to settle with an apology." He looked down again, only daring to look up at her again after he had finished his next sentence. "I hope you can forgive me and we can start over to how things were before everything got all complicated."

He was wrong. The "defence mechanism" he used was now up-to-date, and she bit her lower lip as that stinging pain of untruthfulness writhed within her. Still, she continued. "Four Eyes, I don't know if you noticed, but… I wasn't exactly ecstatic to be breaking up with you that night." She giggled lightly. "I never _wanted _to break up with you – I've just never been in a relationship that's lasted this long before and I'm kind of new to this whole monogamy thing and of actually, like, _working_ on relationships. I'm used to just calling things off rather than working on them. I used to think it was easier... with you, it isn't." She confessed, before sighing in frustration towards herself and slumping down onto the front doorstep with another huff, looking ahead at the shrubs in the front garden which the Lynns' must have been proud of maintaining. She spoke the next line with realisation and monotony. "I think I forgave you the minute I left – I was just too stubborn to come down here sooner." She nibbled on her bottom lip, pondering over that for a while before finally driving herself to look up at him again. She omitted saying that she was also too busy fooling around with Mark and later crying into Santana's shoulder to come to his house sooner, and stuck with her theory that it would be best not to say anything.

"It wouldn't have mattered _when _you came back, Mar." Ryder finally said thoughtfully, sitting next to her. "What matters is that you did."

For a moment, Marley wanted to cry again, because if they worked on this together then she would have to continue lying about what _actually _happened after their separation. But she longed for him again – what he had just said just reminded the brunette of how caring and accepting he was of her antics – and was ignorant in thinking that this didn't have an ugly consequence, so she simply looked down his house's front pathway, thinking. She sighed. "So what are we gonna do?"

"I guess… whatever you want to do, really." Ryder breathed. "I think we both screwed up, and we're both new to this relationship thing, so maybe… I don't know… we start over?" He suggested gingerly.

Marley looked to her right, scanning his face before heaving yet again. "I don't want to start over."

Ryder looked at her, concerned. "You don't?"

"I mean… we built up this relationship from junior year, with all that crap that went on… and starting from scratch would just make things awkward, and… we'd inevitably drift apart, and I don't want to do that. We shouldn't just pretend this never happened, because we'll just never get around to forgetting it." She pleaded, albeit with a somewhat emotionless expression, biting her lip in trepidation as the beautiful spring morning around them became irrelevant.

"I don't want to do that either." Ryder admitted. "Let's just… move on from this. Work through it."

"Yeah…" Marley smiled at him warmly, then shivered when a breeze swept past them and interrupted the conversation.

"You cold?" The boy questioned.

The brunette brushed it off before the words even finished streaming from between his lips. "No, no, no, I'm fine."

He wasn't convinced, and reached forward to clutch one of her pale hands, practically frozen. "Your hands are cold."

Marley let out a supressed giggle at his actions – she had forgotten just how doting he really was, and failed to comprehend how – even in a drunken state – she could forget that. "You care about me too much. Guys don't usually do this."

"We _should _do this. It's just that few people actually do – we're a rare breed." Ryder explained, deadly serious, triggering another laugh from Marley.

"You're ridiculous."

"Ridiculously in love with you." Ryder corrected, earning yet another laugh and an additional grimace.

"Cut it out! Seriously, you're so cheesy – sickeningly so in fact – if we're gonna make this work, you're gonna have to cut the corn." Marley chastised as she wiped some of her run mascara off her cheeks. Raising her eyebrows at him and smirking with typical Marley Rose charm, before losing it to a small, tight-lipped giggle.

"Okay, okay! I'm cutting it out!" Ryder chuckled, leaving them in silence for a few moments as they looked at each other. Marley sniffed once more, still attempting to recover from her unexpected crying period – and then she was leaning closer, trying not to clumsily overshoot her balance, thankfully resting her hands on his knees to steady herself, hoping he would spy her intentions so she wouldn't have to strain her neck anymore – and he did spy her intentions. He met her halfway, impulsively caressing her left cheek before their lips met in a long-overdue, apologetic, promising kiss – one which lasted several seconds – before they pulled away unwillingly for breath. Marley couldn't help but compare the kiss to Mark's – and there was no question that Ryder's were better, more emotionally honest to her. She just hoped that one day she could be as honest to him, but nonetheless, she still felt it inside her somewhere.

Their foreheads were pressed together as they mutually basked in the post-recuperation bliss, Marley's hands moving from his knees and instead travelling over his chest – it was slightly damp and smudged in black and nude colours, revealing the extent of her makeup usage.

"Promise me…" Ryder murmured after a while, getting out the ring that he had retrieved on Friday after she had torn it from her finger – perhaps he had kept it on him in the hopes that this moment would present itself. Perhaps it was a coping mechanism. "…Promise me that no matter how hard things get, we'll try not to do anything stupid again."

Marley gulped, thinking about all of her thoughtless mistakes over the course of the weekend, switching her eyes back and forth from the red area on his cheek, to her make-up and tears on his pyjama shirt, to his brown eyes through his glasses. She held out her right hand, which had worn the ring proudly just two days earlier. With a shaky breath, she opened her mouth to speak, meaning every word as she considered how much he had to offer her; how he could fix her, shield her from the thoughts and mistakes. "I promise."

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**Hoped you liked this chapter – please review with thoughts/theories!**

**So… Glee ended. Honestly, I'm not all that sad. I thought I would be… but no. It's probably because – for me at least – Glee ended in, like, season 4. And they've treated Blake and Melissa pretty awfully, it annoys me – Melissa wasn't even in the last episode when everyone else was, and Blake was in for about half a second (no exaggerations). But hey, now they're successful without it :p **

**So yeah… even though I pretty much strongly dislike the Glee franchise now (I could go on for hours about all of the mistakes they've made and the good branches that they wasted!), I want to keep writing. Despite the God-awful continuity of storylines on the show, it was always the **_**characters**_** that I loved. If you like, I'm doing this for closure. I'm doing this to give the characters and actors the credit they deserved, rather than a rubbish send-off. Glee may have ended, but I have no doubt that the characters will live on here!**

**-Beth :-)**


	14. The Discovery

**Back again! Also, because I'm geeky like that: this and the following chapter's events take place on 5****th**** April, AKA Easter Sunday. Don't ask me why I need to calculate dates. It just calms me. Despite this, though, I have accidentally excluded 'spring break' for McKinley, so… woops. Hey, at least I have more logic than Glee!**

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The week following that blissful recovery was actually more perfect than either of them could have imagined. Naturally, guilt had taken over the both of them and they had initially shied away from talking about their breakup to each other, but a reminder of how they couldn't get further without it surely awakened them both. Logically, the occurrence would become less and less prominent in their minds anyway… or, at least, that's what Ryder thought.

Marley, however – her mind was going haywire.

Deciding the rest of the school didn't need to know (and after the sheer force of blackmailing, the people at Kasey's party didn't want to utter a word), the two presented their image of happily dating once again – holding hands in the hallway, joking and teasing the other person, sharing short kisses – but that didn't solve anything for the brunette girl. With every step in that school, her throat felt weighed down with the pressure of knowing what she had done; what had made her tears even more prominent over the remorseful weekend. She could practically hear Mark's obscenities ghosting down her neck within drunken vision and flashbacks every time she and Ryder went the tiniest bit further than short kisses – like the star actress she was, she tried not to let it bother her, but Ryder noticed as she kissed back with more hesitancy; less urgency. An "_are you sure you're okay?" _would only go so far. He felt like she didn't enjoy it anymore; that make-out sessions had somehow lost their meaning over the weekend. But she was trying so desperately to make it so that Ryder never suspected a thing, even if it killed her or rotted away at her thoughts way into the night, like it always seemed to.

On one occurrence – the Wednesday of that week, if she remembered correctly – they were holding hands and walking down the busy halls of McKinley when a flash of creamy yellow sleeves and a red torso made itself known past them, with swagger in the owner's step. Mark. She noticed his wicked smirk instantly before averting her eyes firmly downwards. He nudged her shoulder back as he jolted past. The girl's boyfriend noticed, pointing his nose up at whoever just walked past and then adjusting his gaze to fix on Marley, who he recognised as hurt. "Hey, are you okay? That guy probably didn't mean to-"

"I know, babe. It's fine." She lifted her head back up and sniffed to look at him as they approached his locker. "We're…" She bit her tongue, staring away for a second before focusing on Ryder again as he turned his locker combination. "Old friends." She lied through her teeth. "You don't need to worry, I-"

"Hey." He stopped from rustling in his locker to cup one of her cheeks, the girl in question unable to stare anywhere else but his profoundly admirable chocolate gaze. "I'm not worrying, okay?" He wanted so badly to prove to her that he trusted her, and that he admired her truthfulness. If only she could be truthful to him.

She breathed through her nostrils and sunk into his hand for a moment. "Okay."

He smiled at her and lifted his eyebrows as if to say "_you can relax" _before planting a soft, short peck on her lips which Marley just wanted to get lost in, and escape to a better world where there were no secrets gnawing at her veins and tearing her to pieces. She smiled and fluttered her eyes back open from their brief closing when he had kissed her, but he was gone – burrowing and digging in his locker once again for the right books. She bit her lower lip in apprehension as his averted gaze separated them momentarily. In a way, she was glad. Sucking in another courageous breath, she turned to see him once more, slapping on a wicked grin. "You're awesome, Bieber."

"I do try, Rose. I do try." He joked, readjusting his specs to add to the sarcasm and flare he presented in that sentence as she giggled.

"Want to come over to mine tonight? I have this killer Physics paper due in tomorrow that I could really use your assistance with… and cuddles. _Lots_ of cuddles." She sneered, stroking his arm as he chuckled. "Or we could go to Breadstixx and I could deal with the Physics paper later… make up some excuse maybe…"

"No, I don't want you failing this year. I'll come over and we can do homework together." He agreed, but added as a deadpan afterthought: "…and that honestly sounds like the least romantic date ever…"

"Nah, it'll be cute." The blue-eyed girl assured him as they linked arms upon him pressing his locker door shut, holding hands again. "It'll be like when we first started going out unofficially, last year."

"Yeah, only less complicated." The boy smirked, before dispersing to his next class with a kiss on the forehead and a waving hand.

The brunette huffed, nibbling on her lip once again as she watched him sink into a classroom. "That's what you think."

* * *

"_Okay, Bieber, I bear exciting news. Like, prepare to be excited."_

He chuckled, resting the phone on his desk and clicking the speaker icon as he opened his laptop. "I have prepared myself, Mar."

"_You think I'm just gonna tell you, babe? That is too sweet… no. It's all about the chase with me, you should know that by now." _He could practically envisage her smirk on the other line. _"Guess."_

He grunted in reply. "Baaaabe… you _know _I suck at guessing games…"

She giggled, and once again, he could only picture her position at that point in time: perched against her bed, nose wrinkled up adorably, hair down – it was a Sunday, after all. _"That's why it's funny for me! Come on, Ry. Guess." _

"Okay… is it… something to do with you?"

She chuckled. _"Nope. Strike one."_

He bit his lip, knowing already that his chances of actually comprehending were low – even for him. "Uh… something to do with _me_?"

"_Baby, your ego is out the park. Dig a little deeper if you want to go to Yale, sweetheart. Strike two."_ She teased over the phone, though he detected that her mocking comments were meant affectionately.

He groaned. "Alright, alright… just a stab in the dark… is it about… food?"

"_Close… but no. You know what, I'm just gonna tell you: Breadstixx is doing a Friday night special starting next week. All you can eat dessert, piano bar, and a Julie Andrews movie. How awesome is that?!"_

He chuckled into the receiver, picking his phone up again once more when his laptop was fully loaded up. "That sounds awesome."

"_No, "_awesome" _would only count for the dessert buffet. _Our _date night, laughing at tone deaf people on a piano and ending with a _Julie Andrews movie? _This is a gift. From like, heaven… or the Julie Andrews gods." _She bragged and corrected him with the typical snarky but loveable humour which he loved. _"So, what do you say? Next Friday, no rehearsals or seedy fro-yo dates, just a lot of chocolate, laughing and the Queen herself?"_

"Well… you haven't exactly put me in a position to say 'no', have you…?" He teased in response.

"_Hell no. You're coming with me." _She retorted with little adaptability in her voice. _"Seriously though babe…?" _She spoke in a softer, more delicately hopeful tone.

"Of course. It's a date." He chuckled, brushing their poor excuse of a fight off as he heard her screech on the other side of the phone.

It was a long time until Marley had just about calmed down, and when she did, that was her time up. "_Crap, I've got to go and have lunch with my family. I'll see you tomorrow at school?"_

"Of course, Marls. Love you." He spoke in understanding and adoration.

She giggled. _"Love you too, goofball. Happy Easter! Byyyeeee."_

He was awoken from his daze by her hanging up, and placed his phone down carefully on his desk with a satisfied smile. For one moment, he couldn't think of a single drop of rain on his parade; not a single fault in his skies; not a single grey cloud or a blur separate from the overruling clarity. He logged onto Facebook. Probably no one used it these days, but he often went on to stay in touch with long-distance friends or family, and messages had been flooding his inbox lately, so he thought it was worth taking a look.

Refreshing his feed, a variety of shared links and tagged pictures were presented to him, as always – most from a specific party, or a specific room. Rooms he didn't recognise, but a lot of other people seemed to – cuddly pictures with friends or partners had been upgraded to profile pictures and headers on a person's profile, and he could see that with just a few scrolls down. '_– With Marley Rose and 5 others – Kasey's Party'. _He smiled at her name – his Facebook sometimes glitched out and presented pictures and posts from months ago, to seem new. It must have been one of the parties she had attended weeks ago. He refrained from messaging his Aunt for a few more minutes and clicked on the photos of Marley and her friends – as per usual, she looked beautiful beyond belief. Her long, brunette hair cascaded down her front and back with a few loose curls and she wore a stunning gold-green dress. A dress he hadn't seen in her closet before… was it new? Couldn't have been. She would blab to him every time she purchased a new clothing item – it was yet another thing she loved, and therefore, he loved. He scanned the dress more before clicking onto what appeared to be a video.

A drunken video, at that. Four or so friends crowded around and singing out-of-tune together to a mainstream song booming from the stereo, in a dark room – a room which was dark but lit enough for Ryder to try and find a reason as to why Marley was tagged; where she was. He tried desperately to find that golden-green dress and those heels, or that beautiful brown hair, or that smirk. He sighed. Maybe it was another one of those occurrences where a person was tagged just for being at a party, not for appearing in the picture or video. He still searched for her through the making-out couples and drinkers in the background, struggling to find even a glimpse of golden-green, something to hang onto – he didn't know why he was so intrigued by her social life, but he couldn't help it now.

Somewhat thankfully, Marley appeared from behind to hug the people singing, telling them that she was leaving but that she had a really good time. She was obviously drunk, and muttered just loud enough for the camera to pick up her slurs as she thanked them on "helping her forget". Ryder didn't get that part. The girls smirked at her whilst the guys in the picture made crude gestures to someone behind her which the camera didn't see. Ryder bit her lip – he didn't like seeing her so drunk; so vulnerable. A tall guy with messily styled brown hair came up and bid the guys goodbye whilst the girls smiled… knowingly. Ryder knew those smiles somehow. He had seen them pointed at him, once... quite a lot of the same people pointed those smiles at him the past _week_, now he came to think of it. Marley traipsed giddily through the crowd of singers to the tall boy who was also leaving and smirked, leading him away, but not before the holder of the camera phone caught them going into the darkness – the exit – smashing her lips onto the guy's with a lust Ryder had never seen before as he lifted her up. People cat called and cheered provokingly. "Aren't you forgetting your nerd candy, Rose?" One of the boy singers yelled across the room as the three or four others went back to singing-slash-screaming.

"Fuck off, Jordan!" Was her reply, unmistakeably carnal as this mysterious boy put her down and she led him out of the havoc with a perfectly manicured hand.

Ryder sat, dumbfounded and numb but with every cell in his body telling him not to assume the worst – that's what he had done last time, and the lack of evidence got them into that mess at the weekend in the first place. He bit his lip and slowly forced his eyes away from the date of those photos posted. It was better off not knowing. He didn't need to know to be able to conclude that they were old, right? Marley looked different, and they had to be old because she wasn't wearing the promise ring. And she _always _wore the promise ring, if not the necklace. But she wasn't wearing either, so it had to be before Valentine's Day… maybe even before Christmas. Quite a lot of the girls wore long-sleeved bodycon dresses, so it was probably a colder time anyway. Nevertheless… the two were still going out at Christmas, and before Valentine's Day. They hadn't broken up once, and they had been together since June. Maybe it was from before June, when they didn't 'like' each other. May. It must have been May. It was a cold May… wasn't it? That's why everyone wore long-sleeved dresses. Or they were in fashion, maybe? But… in May, people still hated her. She wasn't popular in May, why would she be at a party consisting only of Cheerios and jocks? It didn't make sense. But it had to be May. Yes, it was May. That guy was just a fling – Marley was with _him _now, anyway. And she was faithful to him. She never cheated, or lied. She had changed. That guy was just a friend to her now.

"_An old friend…" _He thought, as he matched the face to the man who had nudged Marley at school on Wednesday as he sneered at her… knowingly. Another knowing smirk. It was only because Marley and Ryder were still happy together and some people hadn't gotten over it yet. That had to be what it was.

But the evidence pointed a different way, and the desperate restraints he was holding on his eyes were loosening under his sweating grasp. His eyes flicked up subconsciously.

_28 March at 1:04am. _Last weekend. The same night as their fight.

The same night as their break up.

He looked down for a moment to try and comprehend everything that he had just absorbed into his once-clear mind. That guy wasn't an old friend… he was a new fling. A new fling which Marley could still well be with, even _now_ for all he knew. _A new fling_. Marley had been keeping up a façade, hiding it from him, making him believe she wasn't a foolish junior but a monogamous senior who loved and was reserved for him and only him. She wasn't faithful, she wasn't sympathetic. She was another mask. She had played her cards right once more, only this time it wasn't a prank for her to get back at the glee club. It was the truth. And the truth was simple, but at the same time so complex: Marley had cheated that night, just hours later, and had cried to him on Sunday for all the wrong she had done. But she had done something more than just throw a promise ring away – and that 'something more' just happened to be a jock.

For the first time that day, he made himself useful and scrolled through more agonising photos until he found the suspect's name: Mark Thompson.

He wanted to say he wasn't angry, he really did; he wanted to say he was only disappointed and they could definitely work towards it and get over it quickly, like they had over that fight last weekend. But, to be frank, he felt like he didn't know _anything _for definite anymore. In hindsight, that weekend had so many levels, and each of them hurt him like a bullet through the arm. His body's trembling was growing harder to defeat, and his glasses balanced precariously on his nose – eventually, he took them off and placed them on the desk with slow and deliberate movements, trying to keep calm – it was proving difficult. He put the glasses next to his phone, but as he drew his arm away, his body stayed still and rigid in place, straight, not reclining. Long seconds passed as even his laptop began to taunt him, presenting a picture where, if he looked close enough past his now-hazy vision, he could see Marley and Mark amongst the darkness – their red eye showing up, or else he wouldn't have noticed them – with Mark's lips latched onto Marley's neck. He had logged onto the social network in blind adoration, and had ended up in blurred emotions of betrayal. Soon, the laptop became too mocking; too dominant, and so he slammed it shut in fury as his breathing hitched and increased in both volume and pace. He slowly reclined in his desk chair and brought his hands to his face, rubbing his forehead and his eyes before all but dragging his fingers downwards across his skin. The boy bit his lip. He wanted so badly to cry, but an even more desperate desire arose: he wanted to see her. He needed to know the truth rather than praying the matter was fake. Theories were going through his head already, naturally telling him he was in denial and Marley would never do such a thing. But then the point ascended once more: who was Marley, really?

The thoughts grew with force and time, until they were all but a swirling current which he was drowning in, and so, as an escape route, he was propelled downstairs whilst sliding his glasses back onto the frame of his complexion, and was grabbing his coat to drive to Marley's oh-so-familiar but now infamous house.

"Honey?" His mother called out as she sensed his fuming temper, arising from her office downstairs. "Where are you going?"

"Out." Ryder hollered through the household, before a gust of wind was the only thing to mark his existence, the boy himself slamming the door behind him and practically making a run for the car. His fingers trembled as he tried to put his key in the ignition, attempting desperately to work past the vigorous shaking in his hands.

It seemed decades had passed before the chestnut-haired boy pulled up in her driveway, but his temper had far from subsided. It had only grown stronger, seeing the window to her bedroom and the door which he had been at so many times before with kisses and sweet nothings. He rose from his car, surprisingly slowly given his anticipation and lust for answers, fear pumping through his veins and mixing with the adrenaline and despair. He knocked her door boldly, and prayed that she would answer it instead of one of her parents. He wanted less than anything to calm down, since he was on such a rush – he didn't think that was even possible at this point.

Thankfully – or, rather, the opposite – Marley opened the door, with her hair down as he had expected. Wearing a plain, loose tank top revealing one of her shoulders, a baggy, khaki coloured cardigan and comfy yoga pants, she would have looked effortlessly gorgeous through his normal eyes, but since different things had taken over his bloodstream, he only saw her as a traitor. Her expectant eyes lit up instantly at the sight of him.

"…Ryder! What are you… doing here?" She giggled, her sapphire eyes brightening and her face instantly glowing in his presence, but the euphoria was already dying down as she noticed his flustered, still face. "Babe… are you alright?"

He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing and his eyes threatening to gloss over only now, because she was clueless as to what she had done, and how she thought that it would stay a secret without him knowing. In a voice almost as quiet as a whisper, he tried to speak the words with just enough energy to tell her that he knew, but needed to know more; that she needed to explain and promise a hell of a lot more if she wanted another chance. He needed to show her the mistakes she had made that night, and prayed that she would give him reasons for her betrayals. It killed him to even think about them; made him feel sick to his stomach, but he needed to know. "Who's Mark?"

* * *

**Short but deadly? Hahaha… haha… ha... *cringes***

**Sorry. I kind of gave you false hope in the last chapter, didn't I? Awkward…**

**Look forward to the next chapter, though! Or- oh, wait- you might not want to look forward to the next chapter, after this bombshell of a chapter. But you should read it! YES, read it.**

**You know what else? Reviewing stories is totes in right now, fam. You should sooooo tell me what you thought about this chapter. 'Cause my reviewer count has gone down, like, a lot over the course of this story, and I'd absolutely love for this story to be just as popular as New Perspective! Also, seeing as, you know, this one is *cough* a lot better written….**

**Happy Easter in advance, and stay fabulous! Hopefully you won't have to wait too long until the next chapter ;)**

**Beth :-)**


	15. The Repercussions

**Sorry in advance. Also, slightly more "extreme" language in this chapter?**

* * *

Those two words were all it took to make what was left of her joyful mood crumble into oblivion, and all of a sudden, she wasn't sure if it was the crisp spring air ghosting over her skin or his words that had made her feel cold. Somehow, a part of her knew that this lie wouldn't fade; that he would find out – besides, the week had been too blissful for her not to think another storm was lurking on the horizon. She stared nowhere else but at him, like a deer in the midst of headlights knowing what was to come of her fate. The brunette deflated physically, sighing before looking down again. By the looks of it, the boy in front of her was growing impatient. She looked back up at him. "Ryder…"

"Please answer me." The boy in question pushed past any obstacle that she was about to create with a firmer voice than before, his face still showing no sign of fracturing – how long was that going to last?

"Marley?" The voice of Judy Rose echoed from the kitchen, full of concern for her daughter. "Who's at the door?"

The cerulean-eyed teenager let past a quivering breath, looking down again. "We can't do this here…" She looked back up, into his eyes, telling him through the connection they had to follow her once she had started to migrate up to her bedroom, opening the door upon climbing those steps with wobbly knees, but not turning to see if he had obeyed her request – she desperately needed time to herself; a break from that now-intimidating chestnut gaze. She bit her lip and squeezed her eyes shut as she heard his shuffling footsteps on the floorboards, pressing the door closed behind him as if any loud sound would shatter the universe in that moment.

There was a deafening silence, before Ryder was the first to speak, not daring to live in the dark any longer. "…Mark isn't an old friend, is he?"

Marley huffed. "No." Her one word answer caused another silence which she desperately wanted to break. "He's not a friend. He's just…"

"Just a guy that you kissed last weekend?" Ryder risked raising his voice an inch louder over the brunette's trailed-off explanation.

That's when she turned around, nibbling on her lip with eyes like glass. "How did you…?"

"I went on Facebook after our phone call. There were pictures and videos of some party last weekend, and you were there, and so was he. You seemed to like each other a lot, Marley." He chuckled humourlessly, still leaning against her bedroom door as she began to pace over to the window.

"No, no…" She whined over his explanation, shutting her eyes before looking out into the sickeningly refreshing neighbourhood. Something about a pathetic fallacy would have made her feel better; would have shown her that at least the weather would sympathise with her. "I told them not to… they swore they wouldn't…"

"What, were you just never gonna tell me?" Ryder had returned to his quiet, disappointed tone for a second or two as Marley turned back to him instantly.

She exhaled heavily and desperately once more. "Of course I was going to, Ry-"

"When?" He demanded of her. She seemed lost for the right words; lost for _any _words. He nodded in understanding, then walked over to perch on the side of the bed – a seat was the least he deserved.

She noticed his movements, but stayed where she was, not bearing to shift as if one step would send her flying sky high from some sort of force field. She bit her lip. "I promise you, Ry. It was _only _Mark. I thought we had broken up for good that night, what was I supposed to do?"

"How about: _not_ kiss a guy?" He retorted immediately, then smoothed his hands together, wringing them out as he leaned over them, tapping his feet anxiously on the floor. "What were you doing at a party anyway?"

"I don't know, I was miserable… I wanted cheering up, I guess… I thought parties were the way to do that." Marley tried to explain to him, but she knew she had already lost.

He sighed, still keeping his head firmly pointed at his feet. "And then what? How did going to a party an hour after our break up lead to you making out with some jock?"

"I don't know, it just did! I was _miserable_, I wanted cheering up and when everyone just kept asking where _you _were, I panicked. I thought I could forget for a while if I drank enough booze and sang enough songs, Mark was just… a side-effect." She tried desperately to explain, but somehow Ryder found this funny.

"A side-effect…" He sniggered darkly, lifting his head back up as Marley shied away from his piercing gaze.

"Look: I was totally heartbroken over you, and desperate, and I needed a shoulder to cry on – he was just being nice." The cheerleader tried desperately to straighten everything out, but Ryder seemed unfazed. She looked down, sighing, quietening her voice down from its momentary peak. "When he kissed me the first time, I knew it was wrong. But Ry, God knows I'm the weepy, clingy drunk, and when he just kept begging for more, I just… caved! …He was being so sweet and supportive, and he told me it was the perfect way to get over someone, and I understand now that _any _guy that wanted to sleep with a heartbroken girl would say that," Ryder's head rose up again slowly. "But you have to understand that-"

"You slept with him?" He uttered morbidly; Marley's drifting eyes and bobbing throat confirmed it in a matter of agonisingly slow seconds. "Jesus Christ…"

For a minute, any words were caught in the girl's throat, and she attempted to swallow them back down with the feeling of knowing she had just made the whole situation much, _much_ worse. Eventually, she defended herself. "I was desperate and completely shit-faced, Ryder. I would have said yes to anybody that night! Let's not forget that I wouldn't have been in that mess in the _first place _if you hadn't lost your damn mind and called me a slut!" She replied desperately, though it was growing harder for her to keep her temper.

"So this is _my _fault? You slept with a guy behind my back and it's _my fault_?!" Ryder shook his head in disbelief as his voice got louder with every punctuated syllable.

She overlapped his claims with her own ascending voice. "We weren't even together then! I broke up with you, remember?"

"Still, you having sex _mere hours later _kind of rubs salt into the wound, doesn't it?" He stood up and faced her.

She dared to take a step forward, her eyes burning into an angry, watery flame in front of him. "You know what, I can't _fucking_ stress this enough: _I was drunk_. A hamster could've made a more conscious decision! Look, it seems to me you're not focusing on the fact that this was _Mark's _fault, if anyone's. The guy knew I was sad and alone and very, very drunk, and he _used that _as a way to get me into bed with him! I don't know if you noticed, but that's kind of called _sexual harassment_!"

He shook his head, starting his sentence with just as much fury as the last. "And I don't know if _you _noticed, but it takes _two people _for sex to happen. That guy was drunk too, Marley. You were both as conscious as each other! If you didn't know what was happening, how do you know he did?"

"Because I know Mark! He tried that same shit on me when I was a sophomore, _sober_!" Marley retorted instantly.

Ryder couldn't believe his ears as he turned away from her. "Oh my God, you'd done it before as well?" He turned towards her again. "This guy wasn't new?"

"No, he wasn't new! If I wanted sympathy sex, you'd at least think I'd get it from somebody who I knew would be good at it!" Marley spoke without giving it much thought.

"So you _did _make a conscious decision to sleep with that Mark guy? You were looking for that in the first place?!" He asked in disbelief.

"Of course I didn't, Ryder! Why would you even think that?"

"Because it sounds like you just told me!"

Needless to say she wasn't good at fighting, especially with someone whom she had shared her life with for so long. Every word out of her mouth was another dagger in her body; every vituperation, and she began to struggle for breath as they basked in silence once more. She took a deep breath, before uttering in a quieter manner. "Sit down. I'm gonna spell everything I can remember out for you from that night, because you still don't seem to get it." When Ryder reluctantly did so, perching awkwardly on the edge of her bed again, she sighed. "Right. The truth is, when you called me… what you did… that night, it really hurt me. Not just in a '_how could you say that' _way, in like… a really personal way. It reminded me of a guy who hurt me before who hasn't been in my life in a long, long time, but I don't want to tell you about that guy because nobody knows about him, and I know that if I told you _now_ you would probably use it against me as a way to win this fight." She spoke, with her voice wavering and her eyes threatening to water once more. "And it pains me to even say that because you were meant to be the guy that would never use _anything _against me… but that night, you did, and it made me really, really upset. And I know you've already apologised, and I've already forgiven you, but that doesn't change how much it still hurt me."

She took a deep breath, before continuing. "When I got home from you, I cried for a long time but something in my conscience told me that I was worth more – and I know now that I really wasn't, but whatever. I went to a party because I thought it would make me feel better about myself; to prove that even though you didn't, people out there still cared about me-"

"But I did care about you, Marley-" He tried to interrupt for a moment, but she wasn't having it.

"I know you did. Like I said, that night was just an illogical mess. _Anyway…" _She persisted, sniffing. "People there accepted me, but because you had been such a huge part of my life, everyone was asking where you were. Within an hour, pretty much _everyone _knew that we'd broken up. And I was fixing myself a super alcoholic drink – and already regretting, like, _everything _– when Mark approached me with his bad-boy techniques and pretended to be a shoulder to cry on for me, and I held up my guard for a while but then I just… caved. And thankfully, pretty much the rest of that night is a complete blur to me. Naturally, when I woke up, I told him he was a pig and got out of there as soon as possible, and then for a while I was just sitting in my car and listening to all those messages you'd sent me and bawling my fucking eyes out. Santana came all the way from New York to comfort me on the Saturday, and on the Sunday, I finally grew a pair and went to your house. And this past week has just made me realise that I can't function without you, or else I'll just be a mess. And it also told me that I can't keep secrets from you at all, but Ryder, you don't know what it was like for me. How was I supposed to tell you? I couldn't just watch you give up on me, Ry. I love you too much. So please, please don't do this. We can work past this, can't we? That's what we've done with everything else that's come our way, and we're so right for each other. Please, just give me another chance and I'll promise-"

"Promise _what_? Mar, I've given you so many chances already, and we've made so many promises to each other. But somehow, you screw up or break a promise and somehow, I've forgiven you all this time. You break me time and time again, and every time I just get back up and waltz back over to you and forgive you, and that's how it's always been, hasn't it?" He looked up to her, no fury in his eyes as much as there was disappointment and remorse. "I'm… I-I'm tired, Marley. I'm tired of just dealing with everyone else's shit… and just moving on like it's some old dream. All my life, I've just been walked on…"

"I know…" Marley trembled. "But I've never walked on you, have I? We only make each other stronger…"

"Then how come after every time you screw up, _I'm _the one who gets weaker?" Ryder muttered.

"You're not, Ry. I get weaker too – you know that." She whispered, her voice taking on an evident shake.

"You know, it doesn't seem like it to me. You always have your popular friends to pick you back up again, rise again like the phoenix you are, get worshipped by everyone while I'm just this geeky thing attached to you." He looked down, admitting his state of mind whilst she stared into his head from her position above.

"Is that how you feel?" She spoke after a while, still standing over him.

"Sometimes." He admitted, having sucked in another desperate breath.

The brunette huffed. "Then why couldn't you have just told me?"

"Because I _couldn't_, Marley. You always had your hands busy with something else – some party, some friend; some choreography. And maybe I shouldn't be jealous, but sometimes that's just how I feel. I feel like you're getting ready for Kentucky and college life and I'm just stuck here – marooned here – for you to have someone to talk to." He grumbled, lifting his head back up and wringing his clammy, shaking hands once more.

She clenched her jaw in fury of how he was springing all of this upon her, as if she didn't already worry about those things herself. "I knew you were hurting, Ry. It killed me for the best part of three weeks along with all the other crap going on in my life! So if you think for a _second _that you didn't mean anything to me, you're wrong. You mean _more _to me!" She breathed through her nose heavily two or three times, helping her to calm down, before the wateriness in her eyes found itself revisiting; her soft tone returning. "That's why, after all this time, when something knocks us down, I get straight back up. Because I've never cared about a relationship this much in my entire life and for years I was so confused by the feeling of love because I'd never felt it. But with you, Ryder…" She knelt down in front of him and took hold of his shaking hands. "With you, I feel it every single day. And I have more flaws than I can even count, and God knows why I'm popular and you're not, and I'm in love with you." The girl swallowed as a tear rolled down her cheek, her sapphire gaze traveling up to his face, where he stared at her face, but didn't once connect with her eyes. "And there's a fresh feeling in my stomach, and it never goes away with you and every time you kiss me I feel like I'm living more than I've ever lived before… and you're flawed too, but what's important is we look past those flaws and we just become something indescribable; something… essential." She sniffed once more as her throat became harsher and her voice more fragile as a consequence. "And sometimes I screw up because this thing we have is so unpredictable, I just get lost but- but you always seem to find me because we're in this together. I make mistakes, but so does everybody else. You fix me, Ryder. You complete me. And I just know that if we threw this away I would spend the rest of my life just feeling empty and uncompleted. And something tells me that you would too, so please don't throw this away. Please."

"I do feel it too…" Ryder whispered, still only looking at her and not _seeing _her. "But none of that matters because of _what you did_." His voice cracked as he grew more vulnerable in front of her.

Marley squeezed her eyes shut as more tears flowed down her cheeks on impact, but Ryder was no longer there to kiss them away. "I know, I know…" She whimpered, keeping a firm grasp on his hands in case he had the intention of letting go.

"You're a whole different person to me now, Marley. I can't… I can't stop picturing you and Mark together. You said it yourself, I could forgive you and we could try to move on; promise each other, but I would never be able to forget… nothing you could do could ever make me forget…" He sniffed as the first tear rolled downwards and caught on his upper lip. He wanted to wipe it away, but Marley wouldn't let him take a hand away from her.

The brunette sobbed harder but tried not to let any sounds become more than a whimper, tears cascading like a waterfall as she leant over his hands, bowing her head to them and resting them together whilst her forehead rested on top. He looked down at her as the remorseful shedding of tears continued. "I'm sorry…" She whispered into his knee.

"You cheated, Marley…" He whispered back into the heavy oxygen around them as another tear rolled down. "You can't just apologise."

"I know…" She repeated, trying to calm herself down. Ryder tore one hand away from her whilst she looked up to him, still holding onto the other one, though with a gentler grasp as she wiped away her tears as well. She leant up further and sniffed, holding out her free hand and caressing Ryder's cheek gingerly, though he didn't protest. "I love you so much, Ryder. Mark means nothing to me; no one else means _anything _to me, apart from you."

He inhaled heavily, then nodded in her hand. "I know." He looked at her again. "But that doesn't make it better, Mar."

She looked down, before closing her eyes again. "It only happened once, I didn't know what I was doing… it's just another setback, Ry. We can work towards it. We… we were meant t-to be together, Ry…"

"Marley." He whispered to gain her attention, she looked up, dreading his response, letting him examine her blotchy face, glossy eyes and damp cheeks. "It doesn't matter how many times you did it, or if he meant anything, or what. It still happened." He looked over her trembling body once more, letting silence interrupt them for several seconds, before quivering himself. "Maybe we _weren't… _meant to be together…"

Marley's doe-eyed gaze widened even more at his suggestion, drawing her hand away from his face. "What?" She whispered.

He exhaled through his nose, looking down at their linked hands for a second and pondering over his explanation. "It's just… we've been toxic from the beginning, haven't we? We just… clobber each other. I'm this straight-A dork and you're a cheerleader. Complete opposites. Pretty much nothing in common."

Marley broke away from him and slowly migrated to the opposite side of the bed, staring at the wall with her back facing him. She sucked in a breath and spoke behind her. "Opposites attract…"

Ryder scoffed. "Mar, you slept with another guy. I don't think Coulomb's Law in physics is going to help us here…"

"And there you go again, making me feel stupid by not knowing what that is…" She spoke monotonously as she calmed down slightly. Something about not seeing him made it easier.

He sighed. "Where do you see us a year from now, Marley?"

Silence. She bit her lip, her body threatening to quiver and shake again at his point. _Where would they be a year from now, after this? _The brunette sniffed. "I see us trying to make a long-distance relationship work, because we love each other that much."

Ryder nibbled on his lower lip – he did always seem to be the more logical one of the both of them. "I see us almost eight hundred miles away from each other."

And once again, silence came to haunt them as Marley tried not to cry. She sniffed, then spoke through those manacles on her tears. "It might not be that way. I see us far away from each other, but I see us close mentally. I'll still think about you all the time, and I'll still love you. No distance… could e-ever come between us."

He lowered his head, wanting so badly to forget everything and believe her, but thinking of her as naïve still. "Then how come right now there's not even 2 metres between us, and all I can think about is you and some other guy?"

"Why do you think like this?" She mumbled after a while somewhat restlessly, luckily just coherent for him to recognise the words. "Why think a year away? Why not live in the now?"

"Because living in the now means forgetting the future." Ryder spoke simply in answer to her questions. "And the reality is simple: graduation is two months away. I can't be with you now and just forget about all of that."

Her blue eyes darkened at the comments he was making; the issues he was addressing and the way by which he was addressing them. "You sound like your parents, what happened to the Ryder I knew?"

"People change." He bit his lip, adding as a truthful afterthought: "I learnt that from you once."

The brunette nodded submissively, but she didn't like this change in the boy she loved; she thought that there had to be something to awake him from whatever trance he was in. Slowly, the boy heard rustling from the other side, padding hands and feet on her bedsheet to crawl to his side. Once she had arrived and he could very well sense she was there, he felt her thin arms snake around his torso, her head leaning against the back of his. "Please don't do this, Ry. You don't have to do this."

Biting his lip once more, he sounded hesitant. He could feel her body trying not to shed any more tears, and shivered at the impact of her hushed words ghosting down his neck. "Marley…"

Despite his attempts, she persisted with her last chance to make things right. "Almost a year ago, we were like this. At Nationals, remember? That got us in trouble too. I didn't come to school for days because I didn't want to face anything. But look how we rose from that… it couldn't have been easy but we figured it out, didn't we?"

He sighed. "That was high school drama, this is real, between us…"

"And when I betrayed you to get back at the glee club, with those posters of secrets and you thought you were done for, but you weren't. I couldn't stop thinking about you, and that's what led me to Nationals. I know that's what you were thinking too. And I know it's not the same, but it just proves that nothing that comes our way can't be defeated." She spoke, her head moving to the side of his until she had pressed a soft kiss against his temple. "See, we both clobber each other. Maybe I clobber you more than you clobber me… but at the end of the day, we rise above it. Together." She kissed down his face with slow, deliberate actions whilst trying not to seem so fragile, swivelling slightly on her knees and allowing herself easier access to his face. "Don't do this, Ryder. Please." She whispered into the air left between them before leaning in slowly, tentatively, kissing his cheek.

He did melt into that moment for a while, but not for long as he retrieved his sense and remembered what she had done once again. "No, Marley. Stop." The boy spoke as he pulled away, leaving Marley shrinking back repentantly, now moving next to him on the bed, thought keeping her distance. "Y-You..." He tried to get the words out. "You can't just kiss me and think that things will be better. It doesn't work like that."

He was reminding her so much of what they were like in that dark science classroom, a year ago – only this time, the tables had turned dramatically. Last time, she was the one resisting and he was the one begging. She looked at him again, before looking back down into her lap as more tears blurred her vision, now crying silently as the boy next to her stayed emotionless. Every now and then, in the midst of the silence, she would look up to see if she recognised him any more than she did before – every time she was just disappointed. He had become someone unrecognisable, just like she was to him. She didn't like that Ryder, but someone who she still came to despise more was the person who was responsible, at the end of the day, for this entire mess: herself. "I'm an idiot." She chuckled humourlessly after what must have been minutes of silence. She would try to explain why, but something told her he already knew. After a while, she spoke once again: "You were the first guy I've met who was out of my league."

He smiled and nodded, but the noticeable sniff that followed his ducking head told Marley that he was just as emotional as she was at that moment in time. Something else told her that he was avoiding her attempts at an inconclusive break-up. "We can't fix this, Marley."

She shut her eyes and instantly navigated a hand up to her mouth to catch any whimpers or sharp exhales which would break the silence, a few more tears flowing as she eventually felt brave enough to relax her hand, acting as a clamp over her mouth. She let a few sobs rack her body before trying to breathe normally. She looked down to her lap, seeing how her knees trembled. "This can't be it, Ry. This can't be it."

A moment's stillness was soon interrupted by the boy next to her, as he leaned softly over and pressed a delicate kiss on the side of her forehead as she leaned up to him, savouring his body warmth for that brief second before another chill made itself known. After a while, she shifted her head to look at him, wanting to know what he was thinking; wanting to relish this closeness they had while it lasted, before it was gone with what was surely the last remaining shreds of their relationship. Plucking up the courage, Marley stopped shying away from his mud-brown gaze and eventually looked up to his eyes. They awaited her, unmoved somehow, and eventually, he spoke: "Then how come it is?"

She calmed her body down enough over a few more agonising minutes of silence, still looking up at him with her glossy, red eyes, her bright gaze finally – once and for all – burnt out. She swallowed, looking down and shattering the deep silence like glass with a sharp sniff. "I think you should go."

Shrinking back into his forward-looking position again, he nodded sombrely. After a while, he spoke again. "What about tomorrow?"

Of course, there was school tomorrow, and with it, the start to another week. She sighed, not wanting her current, strong exterior to break yet again. "Tomorrow's just another day, isn't it?"

They pondered over those words for seconds on end, before Marley turned her face away once more, into her lap, staring at her yoga pants as if they could transport her back to that night and change everything. Eventually, as she ghosted her frail fingers over the spot where he had kissed her, she was reminded of what Ryder's shuffling feet sounded like once more as he got up. She didn't watch him go. She stayed with her head pressed firmly downwards as she heard him shut her bedroom door, meandering down the stairs and, eventually, driving off.

* * *

"Son?" Came a voice at the door, knocking whilst the call was voiced. The boy himself was sitting cross-legged on the floor, his nose in a book – something about focusing on the words in front of him made him almost forget what had happened that same day.

"Yeah Dad?" Ryder replied absent-mindedly when he felt his father's presence in the room, opening the door.

The man looked uncomfortable somehow, playing with his fingers in his pockets, looking down at his son on the carpet of his bedroom. "Uh, your mother wanted me to tell you that dinner's almost ready."

"Okay." Ryder dismissed, wishing his father would leave him time alone to just read and try to forget; when he lingered still, it made him think there may have been another reason. He looked up. "I'll be down in a minute, Dad…"

"I know, I…" He sighed hesitantly. "I found this at the front door. Thought I'd been ding-dong-ditched, but the person left this here. I think it's for you." He searched in his pockets, giving Ryder a small, sterling silver ring with the band winding into an infinity sign, one of those metal strands embellished with crystals.

Ryder let the ring sit in his open hand, before closing it. "Yeah." He nodded. "Thanks Dad. Let me just finish these last two sentences and I'll be down, okay?"

His father cleared off downstairs with an understanding nod, giving Ryder time to inspect the ring – and a note attached to it by string. Immersed in the bittersweet moment, he was unsure whether to smile or to let a precarious tear stray from his eye; it was no change, as the whole day had been something of an unsure happening in itself.

'_I couldn't keep _this_ promise from you -M xx'_

* * *

**Et voila! After over 5,000 words, Ryley is finito. Made you cry? Laugh? Hate me? Tell me in a review!**

**I'm not gonna comment too much on the fact that JENNOIST IS MARRIED, 'cause, you know, I've only **_**just **_**stopped sobbing uncontrollably. Not an overstatement. All I'll say is this turn of events pushed me off the edge and I finally went with an idea that I've been pondering over for a while – a Twitter fan page. So, shameless self-promotion time: jennoistcuter. You'll get the name when you go on it. Give it a look/follow for me? **

**P.S. did anyone see those pictures of them at The Longest Ride premiere? 1) ADORBS 2) I'm gonna drag my friend to see that film 3) Uh, hello people? Did you _see _those rings?! mY HEART ASDFGHKJHLDFJFJG**

**Aaaanyway, posting might get a little irregular from now on (if it wasn't already before) because exams are on the horizon, just a heads up for you lovelies.**

**Until next time,**

**-Beth :-)**


	16. The Aftermath

**Left you kind of high and dry last time… let's see what our faves get up to here ;) Hint: there are two songs! YAY FOR SONGS.**

**So the dorky knowing-the-time-of-the-events-taking-place-in-a-fictional-world me reigns again… the events of these chapter start on Sunday 5****th**** April and end on the following Friday. Sorry we're a bit behind! Blame school, kids.**

* * *

Needless to say a lengthy phone call with Santana was initiated by the brunette girl soon after. At first, there was a typical snarky reply, but the minute Marley trembled down the phone with a simple re-telling (made fairly incomprehensible seeing as she was crying the whole time), the older girl softened up and comforted her friend best she could through the incoherent sobs and wails. She promised that when she was next on vacation or had a free weekend, the two would definitely meet up and talk things out over coffee (or, more accurately, ice cream). After that phone-call, the brunette turned on her bedroom TV and watched _Friends_ for the rest of the night as her therapy; a way of piecing herself together before what was surely going to be a living nightmare tomorrow. Season Three – the season she forgot was so laced with drama… she found that out too late. Ross and Rachel were breaking up before her very eyes, and that's when she noticed how familiar it all seemed – she could imagine herself as the Ross of the situation as she began to fit all the words and scenarios together against what she and Ryder had been through, and it seemed so similar still that it scared her.

"_No, Ross! Don't! You can't just kiss me and think you can make it all go away, okay? It doesn't work that way – it doesn't just make it better." _The girl could practically feel the urgency in Ryder's voice ghosting almost the exact same thing down her neck, just a few hours ago. _"I think you should go." _The all-too familiar feeling of those words remorsefully extracting themselves from her throat repeated itself over and over, giving her chills.

And then came Ross (after a few more lines which had blurred in her brain), speaking just like Marley had, to repair damage that was unrepairable. _"There's got to be a way we can work past this, okay? …I can't- I can't imagine my life without you."_

As the couple cried, with Ross at his soon-to-be-ex-lover's knees, she could see both Ryder and herself in Rachel as her small frame trembled and shook. _"No… I can't. I used to think of you as someone who could never, _ever _hurt me. Ever. God- and now I just can't stop picturing you with her and I can't- and it doesn't matter what you say or what you do, Ross… it's just changed everything. Forever."_

"_This can't be it… I mean…" _Ross's ragged attempts at curing them seemed, once again, all too accustomed to her.

After that, it wasn't Rachel or Jennifer Aniston speaking. It was Ryder, as he ghosted his lips over her temple all too briefly before speaking the exact words projected on the screen before her. She could feel him say it, and the tears; the trembling; the truth – it was all real. _"Then how come it is?"_

With new found anger, Marley hastily grabbed the remote and pressed the standby button, muting the couple and abruptly turning the screen to some black oblivion. She stared at the motionless television, motionless herself, before all but whimpering like a puppy without its mother and weeping into her hands.

It wasn't long before her mother found her in such a state where she was taking desperate gasps for air in between the spaces of her fingers and her cries. The mother practically deflated at the sight of her daughter on the bed. "Honey…" When the girl's whimpering persisted, Judy decided to act on perching on the side of her bed and enclosing her heartbroken daughter in her comforting arms. She stroked Marley's brunette hair, shushing her, comforting her best she could.

"I loved him so much, Ma…" The once bright-eyed teenager wept into her mother's elegant kaftan. The sound made her heart ache.

"I know, sweetie, shh…" Judy attempted to console her daughter, rubbing her back gingerly as the woman mumbled those reassuring words into her daughter's head.

But that didn't cease her tears and her irregular breathing. "I've been such an idiot- I- how do I undo it, Mom? How do I stop the- the p-pain?"

Her mother sighed, continuing to stroke her back as she pondered over her daughter's broken sentence. Truthfully, she didn't know – she was never very good at advice. So, in some sort of melancholy way, Judy watched her child fall further and further into a bottomless abyss over the first guy she had ever cared about in three years.

* * *

As predicted, school was hell. The brunette held her books close and looked around her, anxious that the next step would send her bumping into _him_. She bit her lip, trying her best to maintain her same, snarky posture and attitude, but she felt like everyone saw through her façade. People saw her differently, or so she thought. They seemed to notice her and her surroundings more – they noticed that the two weren't walking down hallways like they usually did.

The worst part was at break, when everyone stopped in the hallways to retrieve and replace books from their lockers. What was usually crowded and less than joyful on a normal day was made worse by the fact that their lockers were opposite to each other, and so they inevitably ran into one another on their way there. He nodded at her, and she did nothing. Just looked at him. Something about seeing him for the first time since yesterday made her wounded emotions salty and bitter, and the taken-aback expression he failed at masking before leaving her sight informed the girl that he had definitely noticed. They could act like they didn't know each other all they wanted, but that didn't change the fact that they could read the other person like a book. Again, feeling eyes on them as she swapped Spanish for Geometry, she bit her lip and resisted the urge to slam her head into the side of her locker door. They couldn't keep going on like this.

And yet, they did. The next day lasted through and even more people seemed suspicious of the pair's obvious distance. Break came again and the same thing happened in terms of awkward eye contact, when, unzipping her backpack and placing books and folders back in her locker, Marley heard a voice laughing to her friend, rather unsubtly informing Marley that her distance from Ryder was seemingly obvious. _"What's up with Beauty and The Beast over there?"_

Enough was enough. They couldn't continue with this, especially not with Glee Club next – the group would see through them like glass and would make a mountain out of something which was already painful enough. With a swish of her curled ponytail, a slam of her locker and sapphire eyes intensifying, she stood high with perfect posture and navigated over to the other side of the lockers, up to none other than the ex-boyfriend himself. She wasted no time, and just began speaking in a hushed tone. "Okay, I'll be giggling and I'll push you away playfully, and then you'll put your arm around me and we'll sit together." Marley said to Ryder as a way of greeting, looking at him penetratingly as she spoke.

Ryder was baffled to say the least. "Um, hi?"

"Fine, if you want to pretend to be amicable for a second before we do this, fine." Marley rolled her eyes, despising how he was distracting her, despising herself for putting them in this situation initially, despising how he was wearing the shirt she always told him she loved and how he noticeably looked less torn up about the situation than she did.

Now, Ryder was _really _confused. "Before we do what?"

Marley groaned – she thought he was clever, but apparently not. "We need to make people think that we're still dating, right? Especially the Glee Club, they're _super_ observant. What, did you just think people wouldn't notice or something?" She sighed, leaning against the locker next to them which was seemingly unoccupied as the boy stood breathless. "And you thought _I _was naïve…"

Ryder smacked his lips together – Marley was seemingly bitter about their separation and wanted to take it out on him, and that was a fact. It was strange how much they disliked each other now. "Right. So we're gonna sit together? Is that what your miraculous plan is?"

The brunette rolled her eyes again. "Well, we can't just not talk to each other and then sit on opposite sides of the room, can we? They'll realise straight away that we broke up."

"So… you expect us to just sit next to each other and hold hands, and make out while Mr Schue isn't looking, and act like we never broke up, even though we hate each other's guts now?" Ryder scoffed in disbelief. Marley rolled her eyes yet again.

"Wow, and I thought _I _was the drama queen… that's not what I meant by sitting together, Four Eyes. We don't have to be all over each other, just sit together and don't try to kill each other. Okay?"

Ryder sighed, then nodded, eventually sorting out his books and closing his locker. "Okay."

Marley exhaled heavily as if a weight had just been lifted off her shoulders, following him as they walked next to each other, down the hallway to Glee Club. "_Finally_, we sorted that out. I thought you were supposed to be smart."

"And _I _thought you weren't supposed to be bitter…" Ryder mumbled underneath his breath, though his ex-girlfriend's gasp revealed that his camouflage had failed.

"I am _not _bitter- I-" Marley began to protest until they both found their way to the choir room, suddenly remembering the scene they were to put on in front of the members that had already arrived. "I am _not_ obsessed with frozen yogurt, you idiot!" She giggled instead, acting out their frontage as she gave him a playful push.

"Hey!" Ryder blurted out, trying to sound nonchalant as he chuckled and put his arm around her, leading them to their usual seats in the bottom left area of the room. Once settled down, he mumbled under his breath so only she could hear him. "_Frozen yogurt?_ Really?"

Marley rolled her eyes for the millionth time in his presence. "Oh, shut up. I haven't seen acting skills _that_ bad since the _Twilight _franchise." Ryder was queueing up another insult, until Mr Schue chose that moment to trek into the room with a giddy expression and a loud clap – as always. For once, the cheerleader was elated for their teacher to separate their conversation, as she felt Ryder's arm leave her shoulder and another constant chill weaving its way to her body. She shivered on its impact – seeing him again; seeing how much he had changed… it made her nauseous. Ryder had always been so down-to-earth and kind-hearted, not altering for anyone or anything even when he had been knocked down, and now he was a completely different person before her very eyes. His eyes didn't sparkle anymore, and she already missed their skin-to-skin contact and the way it made her feel… but it wasn't the same anymore – nothing was. She hated that. Trying to let the sudden anger and sadness inside her subside, she began to focus on what Mr Schuester was saying, as he began to proudly write their assignment on the board. Pulling away afterwards with giddiness, Marley visibly cringed. _As if this week couldn't get any worse. _

"Guilty Pleasures!" He announced, watching as some people cheered and others groaned, much like Marley. The girl noticed how Ryder didn't say anything. "As we all know, Regionals is just around the corner and although preparation is going great, I think we need to become more united, as a team. We're a family here, and the judges aren't just looking for stellar dancing and vocals anymore – they're looking for teamwork. So, by taking a week off practicing and making the week's assignment 'Guilty Pleasures', we're getting out any musical secrets… and, possibly, some other ones, too. Opening up to each other will make us closer, naturally. So," He smoothed his hands together, looking expectantly at his audience. "Anyone want to be the first to confess their musical 'sins'?"

Deciding to side-step that slightly creepy comment, Marley instantly conjured up a scenario in her head. Usually, Tina or someone else eager in the club would be the first volunteer, and so, it was a surprise to everyone when the brunette raised her perfectly manicured hand with a mysterious smirk splayed across her features.

"Uh… Marley. Go ahead." Mr Schue spoke gingerly, somewhat nervous – as everyone else was – to see what was up the girl's sleeve.

Marley uncrossed her legs, raising herself from her seat next to Ryder and standing front and centre. "Okay. I know I maintain this façade of despising pretty much anything on the Top 50, and bubble-gum pop kind of makes me feel nauseous, but… okay. I… _love _Taylor Swift. She's awesome. And – bonus – she's a feminist, and, frankly, if you're _not _a feminist, you should get out of my life. So, without further ado…" She raised an eyebrow, seeing that some of the faces in the crowd before her were elated with her confession. Ryder seemed curious still – that was, until the music started when Marley had told the band what she wanted. He scoffed, though thankfully remained unnoticed as the short intro reigned on and people in the crowd reacted to the instantly-recognisable song.

_I remember when we broke up the first time_

_Saying, "This is it, I've had enough," 'cause like_

_We hadn't seen each other in a month_

_When you said you needed space – what?_

_Then you come around again and say_

_"Baby, I miss you and I swear I'm gonna change" – trust me_

_Remember how that lasted for a day?_

_I say, "I hate you," we break up, you call me, "I love you."_

She smirked whilst singing the song, acting on her typically Marley-esque, sassy and snarky actions; applying appropriate hand gestures affectively. She launched into the chorus with confidence.

_Ooh, we called it off again last night_

_But ooh, this time I'm telling you, I'm telling you _

_We are never ever ever getting back together,_

_We are never ever ever getting back together,_

_You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me_

_But we are never ever ever ever getting back together_

She smirked, raising her eyebrow, using her eyes as an invitation as she projected a look of nonchalance in her stance at the front of the room.

_Like, ever..._

Her snarky look growing and increasing in attitude as she strutted to lounge back against the piano for a few mere seconds, she risked shooting a quick glance at Ryder – the recipient to the song – and he presented an off-guarded expression. His arms were crossed and he sat, hunched in his seat, biting his tongue as he struggled not to appear wounded or bitter.

_I'm really gonna miss you picking fights_

_And me falling for it screaming that I'm right_

_And you would hide away and find your peace of mind_

_With some indie record that's much cooler than mine_

The blue-eyed girl tore herself away from the piano to sing the next line, stepping back into the centre with fresh poise and more actions to compliment her voice as she sang.

_Ooh, you called me up again tonight_

_But ooh, this time I'm telling you, I'm telling you_

Before she could launch in, Katie stood up, finally biting the bullet and accepting the girl's invitation, singing the chorus for her.

_We are never, ever, ever getting back together_

_We are never, ever, ever getting back together_

They sang together as more of the glee girls stood up next, harmonising with them.

_You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me (talk to me)_

_But we are never ever ever ever getting back together_

_Ooh, yeah, ooh yeah, ooh yeah_

Marley silenced all of the other singers as she made her way through the girls singing with her, wanting to sing this bit – the final sting – by herself. She shrugged to add to the feel of the song.

_Oh oh oh_

_I used to think that we were forever-ever_

_And I used to say, "Never say never..."_

Winking at Ryder subtly before letting someone else take on the speaking interval, she moved to the back of the group, strutting with self-assurance, thinking finally after what was an agonising day that maybe, just maybe, she could forget about the boy and move on.

_Uggg... so he calls me up and he's like, "I still love you,"_

_And I'm like... "I just... I mean this is exhausting, you know, like,_

_We are never getting back together. Like, ever"_

Coming out from the back of the group and throwing her hands up in the air, she decided to lead with the descant, climaxing note, making her friends snigger from the audience because of her indulgence in the music – she really was channelling her inner nerd through this song, and it was a confident yet easy-going side that everyone loved to see. The other girls dealt with the chorus, until they were all dancing around and incorporating a few synchronised dance moves and gestures together, finishing the song as it hit home.

_No!_

_We are never ever ever getting back together_

_We are never ever ever getting back together_

_You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me_

_But we are never ever ever ever getting back together_

_We, ooh, getting back together, ohhh,_

_We, ooh, getting back together_

_You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me (talk to me)_

_But we are never ever ever ever _

_Marley _silenced them all, settling into a snarky pose and smirking as she sang the last words.

…_Getting back together._

As the overwhelming applause rained on them, the girl grinned and thanked the girls on the stage for helping her (though slightly side-stepping Tina Cohen-Chang) and, having been praised by Mr Schue, the brunette breathed a sigh of relief and lounged back in her seat. She heard a voice next to her, and recognised its bitter tone originating from Ryder Lynn himself. He mumbled sarcastically, just loud enough for her to hear: "Thanks for that."

She didn't turn to him, just sneered and flattened out her uniform, then inspecting her nails. "No problem."

* * *

Throughout the rest of the week, Ryder had been surprisingly mute. Whenever Marley came over to his locker, ready to continue their façade, he was reluctant – but he didn't resist. He held hands with her as they walked when she asked him to because "people were giving us knowing looks back there" and sat next to her, no strings attached. The brunette had her suspicions that he was planning something greater; that the anger of everything in his life was bubbling up and he was about to burst.

Her suspicions had proved themselves to be correct on Friday, at the last Glee rehearsal of the week – the last chance to reveal a guilty pleasure.

"So, before we bring this assignment to a close… any more volunteers?" Mr Schue said, rubbing his hands together and looking into the eyes of the students before him. Timidly, Ryder put his hand up as Marley shrugged back from him with a raised eyebrow. "Oh, Ryder, go ahead!"

He smiled thankfully, biting his lip out of nerves before standing up against the anticipating crowd before him. Marley lounged back in her seat.

"Okay… not a guilty pleasure, I just love this song." The chestnut-haired boy disclaimed, fixing his glasses and biting his lip, before adding as an afterthought: "Besides, this week is about secrets and closure, right?" As you would expect, that sentence had the brunette in a state of even more confusion and dread than before.

The music began, and she rolled her eyes so far back they might have stayed permanently pointed at her brain cells. She understood now, and she already hated where it was going. It was his revenge, but in some sense, this was so much worse than her song. It was more than a dig… it was the truth. It was the pain – it didn't have any sense of fun around it at all. She was the enemy this time, and she hated it as much as she hated him in that moment, despite her muddled feelings every other time.

_Coming out of my cage_

_And I've been doing just fine_

_Gotta gotta be down_

_Because I want it all_

_It started out with a kiss_

_How did it end up like this?_

_It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss_

The brunette had never seen him look so… intense. You could tell he was channelling every nerve in his body; every vertebrate, into this song. Despite the original song's somewhat monotonous vocals, the boy before her was making a _kaleidoscope _out of it. She was so confused between being blown away and standing her ground in some angry state.

_Now I'm falling asleep_

_And she's calling a cab_

_While he's having a smoke_

_And she's taking a drag_

_Now they're going to bed_

_And my stomach is sick_

_And it's all in my head_

_But she's touching his_

_Chest now, he takes off her dress, now_

_Letting me go…_

He paused now as the song reigned on before him, looking down for a moment, as if he was shy or vulnerable. He was. This was very unlike him – letting such strong emotions out through song, but it was obviously for a reason – he made his guilty pleasure debut for revenge, and the song was obviously aimed at her, even if only _she _saw that. The others just thought it was a damn good show.

_I just can't look its killing me_

_And taking control…_

_Jealousy, turning saints into the sea_

_Swimming through sick lullabies_

_Choking on your alibis_

_But it's just the price I pay_

_Destiny is calling me_

_Open up my eager eyes_

_Cause I'm Mr Brightside_

Biting his lip, he made the mistake of not so subtly shooting a quick glance at the brunette in question, where she was cross-armed, glaring at him with one eyebrow raised, staring him down with a smoulder that was ready to flame up at any moment. He quickly shot his eyes back to their neutral position, then repeated the verse again.

_I'm coming out of my cage_

_And I've been doing just fine_

_Gotta gotta be down_

_Because I want it all_

_It started out with a kiss_

_How did it end up like this?_

_It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss_

_Now I'm falling asleep_

_And she's calling a cab_

_While he's having a smoke_

_And she's taking a drag_

_Now they're going to bed_

_And my stomach is sick_

_And it's all in my head_

_But she's touching his _

_Chest now, he takes off her dress, now_

_Letting me go…_

_'Cause I just can't look its killing me_

_And taking control…_

He, for once, gained a smidge of confidence and channelled his emotions into his feet, starting them moving around the room as he played out this role for them – it was easy, seeing as the matter he was talking about was true. The song had described his situation pretty much perfectly, and after all, it was a week for secrets in Glee Club.

_Jealousy, turning saints into the sea_

_Swimming through sick lullabies_

_Choking on your alibi_

_But it's just the price I pay_

_Destiny is calling me_

_Open up my eager eyes_

_'Cause I'm Mr Brightside_

_I never_

_I never_

_I never_

_I never_

The song ended there with one final strum of the electric guitar, and once final hit of the symbols and synths. As the young performer's audience began clapping, the noticeable rise of a club member began to silence a few others, as the red fringes of her uniform skirt moved upon impact, her long, slender legs strutting and finding her way over to him. She locked their eyes for a second. She looked betrayed. With that one millisecond's pause, Marley continued with her strides, soon exiting the choir room through the nearest door out into the hallways and leaving people in the room whispering their hypothesises under bated breaths. The culprit sighed, before following her out. "Marls!"

"I told you not to call me that." Was the first thing Ryder heard from her as he turned the corner out of the room, seeing her slim figure leaning against a few lockers, but straightening up as soon as his face appeared before her. "What the hell was that, Ryder?!"

The boy's chestnut coloured eyes seemingly lost all compassion as he cleared his throat then sighed, scanning over the brunette's betrayed look before speaking. "It was me letting off steam, telling the truth but at the same time not telling the truth, letting out my feelings through-"

"Oh, no, it wasn't. It was you being so damn immature and hurting me just for the hell of it! What, do you think I don't hurt enough already over you? You think this is easy for me?!" Marley raised her voice, anger brewing up inside her as he breathed through his nostrils loudly, beginning to follow suit.

"It sure seemed like it when you sang that Taylor Swift song! What makes you think that _that _was fine and _this _was betrayal? I was just doing what you had done!" Ryder pointed out, so confused by the girl yet so clear of his feelings at the same time, flip-flopping between love and hate, watching her cooling cerulean eyes burn up in fury.

"No, you weren't! _I_ was singing a little pop song that kind of related to what was going on with us, _you _were singing straight-up about me fucking another guy!" She practically screamed, going even closer to him and feeling the anger sparking up like lightning through the both of them.

He just breathed heavily, disbelieving her argument and claiming it invalid. "But you _did_, didn't you? I was just telling the truth."

"And I thought we weren't going to tell anyone the truth – that's what we had decided, right?!" She countered, her face sizzling up just as much as his.

"But how long were we going to keep that up? Did you just expect me to never tell _anyone_; to just carry on with this God-awful cover-up and do nothing about it?!" The brown-eyed boy towered over her, ready to bite back after every word that launched from her mouth; biting back with everything he was too shocked to say on Sunday.

On Sunday, fighting had seemed so difficult with him because it was something so new and painful, but now, with a week's practice on her shoulders, Marley knew exactly what to say and was firing cannonball words at him, overlapping his sentences, not settling to have him on the winning side once again. "Of course not, but that didn't mean you had to give everything away through song! What, is this an after-school concert special or something? How naïve and stupid do you think the Glee Club are, like seriously?"

"Still less so than _you_, seeing as you thought you could hide all that went on that weekend from me in the first place!" Ryder shook his head, letting that reply slide as more of a growl.

There was a moment's silence, before their replies became more overlapped over each other and it made both of them so scared, so caught up in the moment. "Jesus Christ, can't you just let that go?"

"_You slept with another guy_!" It seemed almost rehearsed by now, Ryder thought, with the amount of times he had to spell it out for her.

And still, Marley followed with her usual argument. "_I. Was. Drunk!"_

He replied immediately – they really did know how this fight was turning. "It doesn't matter!"

"Yes it does!" Was her simple retort.

"No, it doesn't! But never mind, I'm sure you have a bunch of other people to fall back on since you're pretty much back on your throne now without me, right?"

She guffawed for a moment, thinking it hilarious how weak his counterforces had become. "That is so _not _true!"

"Yeah, right!" He chuckled humourlessly; scarily, almost.

The brunette huffed, before raising her voice even more to the point where her throat began to protest. "Don't you understand? I _made you_ who you are! You're no longer a dork anymore, you're the guy who dated a cheerleader!"

Ryder chuckled darkly once again, before returning to a serious expression, his next retort laced with sarcasm. "Wow, thanks, I now have a _slightly higher status _than my previous _lowest-of-the-low _status. Hierarchy doesn't matter, wake up and smell the college!"

Marley shook her head again, butting in when she managed to pick up where his last sentence was going. "-And there you go again with the future! Why are you just wishing your life away like that?!"

"Because graduation is in _two months_! I'm not wishing anything away – I'm being realistic!" He yelled, still in disbelief over how naïve the girl was. If anyone, _she _was the one wishing away her future.

She sighed as the tears in her eyes were becoming more and more evident (the gained experience of fighting didn't diffuse the pain it caused her in any way), and spoke in a more hushed, mumbling tone. "You're wishing _me_ away…"

Ryder wasn't having any of _that _point, and continued with his booming tone. "Because we broke up! I don't need you anymore, Marley. Maybe one of these days you'll understand that I'm _trying to move on_!"

"Oh yeah?" The girl raised her voice once again. "When? With who?"

He seemed baffled by that, and how all she could see was externals in even the most valid of points. "Does it matter?!"

At this point, Marley just seemed unprepared because of his obvious will to be prejudiced against _anything _she had to say. "Of course it does! I wanna see who tries to love you like I did, because I'm pretty sure it's impossible now – especially when you'll inevitably change again for her and become someone unrecognisable, just like you were to me!"

He tore his eyes away from her for a moment, instead focusing on the space above the lockers, he huffed, focusing back on her after that moment's break from her gaze. "You wanna talk about _change_, Marley?"

"Yes! I wanna talk about how this whole week, I've just been hoping and praying that you'll forgive me for all the wrong I've done. But now, I'm seeing your true colours, and I've realised how much pain you've given me." She too began to waver her gaze away to the side of him, giving him the chance to see how shiny and vulnerable her eyes had become, as tears threatened to spill down her cheeks. Her lip trembled as she focused her eyes back on the boy in front of her – the boy who had changed so much that she saw no drop of benevolence in him anymore. The boy who, right now, had no words queued up for her for a change. "I realised that _I hate you, Ryder Lynn! _And all I wanted was for us to work things out and love each other, but now I _never want to see your face again. _So congratulations, is that your closure now?! We're-"

"You _so _owe me that ten bucks now." The girl heard a whisper to her right, and, silencing any more quivering words, she turned her head in the direction to see a crowd of familiar faces hanging on every word – it was now noticeable that Sugar had been the owner of those words, and was whispering more rather indiscreetly to Tina, who was stifling a giggle beneath her lips. So much for keeping it a secret for a while.

A deafening silence filled the space where the only noises to be heard were the Glee Club's mumbles and murmurs. Eventually, Marley sniffed sharply, pointing all eyes at her as she stared menacingly at Ryder, a tear finally stripping itself from her lifeless blue eyes. "I guess you got what you wanted, right?" She managed to stop her lip from trembling, keeping it a straight, steady line as she stared at him, before breaking that stare and retrieving her backpack from where it had been angrily thrown on the floor next to her. Fastening it over one of her shoulders, she looked him up and down once more, trying and failing to search for something more than what he had become, focusing on those soulless eyes one last time before sashaying away from the whole situation – that was always easiest for her. "No contact. I'll stay away from you now."

* * *

**Sorry for all this angst lately, gosh.**

**1) The songs in this chapter are not mine! They are, though, '**_**We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together' **_**by Taylor Swift (she really is my guilty pleasure, lol) and '**_**Mr Brightside' **_**by The Killers.**

**2) JENNOIST IS IN ROME JENNOIST IS IN ROME LOOKING AT ARCHITECTURE AND CULTURE AND STUFF AND BEING ALL CUTE IS IT A HONEYMOON IDK BUT THEY MAKE ME SO HAPPY AND SQUEALY OH MY GOOOSSSHSHSHH**

**3) I totally did watch that episode of Ross and Rachel breaking up in Season 3 (I get emotional every time!) and I realised how similar everything was. Hashtag that awkward moment when you love an OTP and a TV show so much you accidentally incorporate them together in your plotline, amirite?**

**4) Like I've previously said, posting may lag a bit because of exam season (ugh) including my first few GCSE's (double ugh). I'll try to find time to write, though!**

**As always, feel free to review! I love it when you guys talk to me :)**

**Stay awesome!**

**-Beth :)**


	17. The Regionals Competition

**Wow! It feels like it's been years. I'm so sorry, exams are getting in the way and yet I still have even more :( Hopefully you can enjoy this chapter as much as possible considering the last one, haha. Sorry if it's a bit of a filler – after this we have an action-packed chapter!**

**The New Directions' Regionals costumes are what the Hoosierdaddies wore when facing them at Season 4's Regionals finale… I just loved them so much! Need a reminder? There's a link in my bio ;)**

**For the sake of my awful planning, Regionals took place roughly this time last month.**

* * *

Things had been different since that particular week at school. Marley attended Glee rehearsals with obvious reluctance, and sat next to Katie – the only person she could trust in the group. Ryder knew it wasn't Katie picking sides – it was his ex-girlfriend sticking to what she knew in a very foreign situation. He couldn't be mad at her for that. Maybe everything else, but keeping her comfortable meant the team was comfortable, so he could let that one slide. Whenever they passed each other in hallways, they just cast their eyes away, as if the other person was some forbidden entity in an ever-growing pandemonium. No glares or awkward smiles, just a reflection of their orbs away from that specific person's face which they wanted least of all to see in that shifting ocean of faces.

The two had their different reasons for looking away and giving the other the cold shoulder: Marley did it because she couldn't bear to look at him; to be reminded of how much he had changed in front of her eyes before. It was a way of preventing that to ever happen again, and although she was nowhere near emotionally available to be dating again, what's the point of giving him any time when she could just talk to someone else instead? Her image had changed remarkably since weeks ago – people _wanted _to talk to her. No one feared her like they used to. Everyone orbited around her, as a constant aroma of relief and friendliness in her life. Ryder, however, he looked away simply because it was too painful for him. Watching her live her life – even as a train wreck – just lengthened the amount of suffering to his – especially when she had visitors. Admirers.

It was a rude awakening when the person he maybe despised _more than Marley_ showed up to greet her the next week. Even viewed as rude in the girl's perspective – she hated him, too. He was the man who had come between them, yet he had the audacity to lean against the side of her locker and raise that flirtatious brow at her with a crude greeting. "Hey, _benefits_ buddy."

And she wasn't having any of that. Immediately taking once millisecond's glance at the person, identifying him and turning away, she stayed silent. She refused to be called by such intolerable terms.

He sighed and rolled his eyes, but continued with his composure. "Oh come on, Mar. It was just a joke." The words flicked mockingly but seductively off of his tongue, traveling to her ear and making her wince internally. Still though, her complexion remained stone-cold and unfazed by his words as she continued to swap and exchange books from her cluttered locker to her bag. Mark sneered. "I heard that you and Donkey Teeth broke up… again."

That sentence and the tone which delivered it switched on every neuron in her brain amongst the foggy morning, as it did Ryder's (who was trying his best to subtly listen into the conversation whilst sorting out his books, opposite to the pair, with his back facing away). Marley finally shattered her neutral expression, letting anger and emotions burst through as she faced him, muttering in disgust and staring his perfectly moulded face down as if she could burn him with a glance. "And what the fuck does that have to do with you, huh?"

He exhaled heavily as he laughed, putting his arms up in surrender. "Wow, no need to get salty. I thought we were-"

She dropped another book into her bag and cut him off, looking at him in confusion and hostility. "What? You thought we were what?"

He exhaled again, looking up as if trying to find an answer etched on the ceiling tiles, knowing that success over her was impassable. "I thought we agreed that night that this wasn't my fault."

The blue-eyed teenager laughed. "Okay, well can you explain it to me again? I seem to have a habit of forgetting things that never existed in the first place."

"Marley. We had _fun. _And your boyfriend obviously wasn't doing things for you… so maybe… we could…" Mark was growing frustrated at her complacency – she was nowhere near as easy to mould between his fingers as she used to be. She stuck up for herself.

And, clearly, she had also retrieved some of her snarky personality along with it. "You're joking."

Frustration or confusion, Mark was prodded by every word his conquest spoke, but any attempts for him to step down failed. He questioned her still. "What?"

"Oh my God. This is actually hilarious."

"Mar-"

She lowered her voice to a sharp murmur, her eyes lighting up as if she was a young girl, discovering a playground to toy with and tease at. Strangely, her previously uptight composure stretched out into some treacly, sarcastically seductive retort. "You know what, Mark? You screwed up my life twice in two weeks, and for that I have to give you props. But, you know, you better watch out. That face isn't gonna charm itself, and let's just say I did some research… you could get arrested if I'm forced to tell anyone else of what _really _happened that night."

"Uh… what?"

The brunette hummed, letting a few chuckles hit the closed gates of her lips, before connecting with his eyes once more in a sickening tone. "That's right, quarterback… according to your old acquaintance The Law, a person cannot legally consent to sex if they are mentally incapacitated or physically helpless, including as a result of alcohol or drugs. So yeah, if you want to talk to me, let alone 'start things up' again, you better do your time, sweetheart."

For a moment, he seemed baffled. He was fighting a war with himself, but was sinking before the cheerleader's eyes as if he knew that either way he would turn out defeated. Him, Marley, even Ryder knew that was the case. Marley appeared in faux shock, gasping inaudibly and cocking her head to the side, looking concerned. "What's the matter, Mark? Was that little reality check a little too much for your 'manly man' thick skull to handle?" He remained, rigid in his place, his ever-confident outer shell concaving into a submissive man. "Aw, don't worry. I won't get you expelled…" Marley closed her locker, her cerulean gaze intensifying before him as she mocked her own seductiveness, biting her lip, then cocking her head again before sashaying away. "…Yet."

* * *

The next occurrence when the exes were forced inescapably to spend time together was none other than their Regionals competition, at Dalton Academy – the home of arguably the New Directions' biggest rival, The Warblers. All information of the group came to the brunette – who was still very much the new member – courtesy of previous Warbler himself, Blaine. After a while, the other member's hatred for the group must have finally caught up with them, because they were soon re-iterating each of the heavily-gelled boy's points. "We've only ever defeated them twice: last year, and the year we won Nationals." Someone repeated for the umpteenth time – Marley hadn't the patience or the curiosity to note who – and she silenced every groan or bellow about the Warblers in their wake.

"Have you ever heard the phrase _"seeing is believing"_?" She spun around to all of them whilst still walking, Blaine leading them backstage into their grouped dressing rooms as some members scattered to the mirrors to inspect their attires. "I'm gonna need some proof before you melodramatic saps suck me even further into this obvious hatred."

Sam winced, peering behind her as he fixed his shirt. "There's your proof." He gestured behind the brunette, at the Warblers themselves, entering the wide space next to the stage to inspect their components before huddling to warm up. She stifled a giggle, raising an eyebrow unsurely. "You're petrified by men in outlined black and red blazers? Guys-"

"Wait until they start singing." Artie hummed humourlessly.

And then, as if on cue, they sang. Their voices were electric, moulding together in perfect harmony even in something as simple as harmonised arpeggios to kick-start their vocal cords. She gulped; tried to avert her eyes away, but no matter how hard she tried, something about them let a foreign body roam free inside her ribcage, making her heart flutter and go haywire. Their best chance was an _interpretive dance_ against these guys?

Almost self-consciously, Marley looked down at her costume, surreptitiously licking her stained, red velvet lips. Maroon bedazzlements littered her sweetheart neckline dress, with a bright red ribbon tied around her waist and a ruffled, red and black petticoat from there downwards. She loved this dress even more than the last one, and was grateful that her quick change from dance clothes to show choir attire would not be too drastic: just placing the petticoat over the thin, breathable skirt that already existed as an attachment to the dress was all that needed to be done in the wings. At least that slight clothing adjustment was _something_ to thank Tina for. Sam, however, had to change completely from colour themed maroon and black free-moving clothes into his dapper, maroon choir shirt, black suspenders and black bow tie with smart black slacks (it was obvious that Blaine had a bit of a say in the costumes). Once the Warblers' huddle fanned out and the blue-eyed girl was staring still, a member of the opposing team noticed, raising his eyebrow to question her movements. Trying not to completely embarrass herself, the brunette bit her lip and tried a seductive wave.

The recipient smirked, though still pondered over the brunette – a face like hers wasn't easy to forget. He mouthed to her, having checked to see if his fellow team members weren't watching: "Who are you?"

The cheerleader sneered, casting her eyes down and presenting actions that were quintessential of the 'hard to get' attitude she had mastered over the years. Flicking her eyes back up mysteriously, she smirked at the boy and mouthed back: "Marley."

The boy simpered like he had just discovered a secret, and was about to answer, when Joe called Marley away from the group to talk to Mr Schue. With a final wink and seductive wave that implied they would talk later, she spun on her heel and strutted back into the New Direction's dressing room for further preparation.

Ryder shouldn't have seen anything. It was none of his business… but yet, just like Marley herself in that moment, he was frozen in his spot, his gaze only focusing on her.

* * *

_Say something I'm giving up on you,_

_Say something…_

The last cadence sounded as Tina and Blaine completed the opening duet, and Sam and Marley wound themselves into the final emotional position of the dance – the one that, they discovered, could be so easily misinterpreted by Ryder. She tried not to give any attention to that memory over these past few weeks; how badly it stung, and how much it shook her. But now, performing as she was sure Sam could feel her heart beating out of her chest on stage, and her vulnerable form trembling, tears were trying desperately to rip through their performance. She wouldn't let them, and she couldn't.

Walking off in character, watching as Tina went off the stage opposite and the boys transferred on (bar Sam), the blonde-haired teenager hugged Marley with a grin as she tried her best to reciprocate without collapsing into his arms. "We did it, Marley. That was so good." Sam whispered to her.

"Yeah, well done." She replied in the same hushed tone as they pulled away, giving the boy an opportunity to comprehend her glassy eyes in the dull light backstage as the boys began to sing.

"Hey, are you okay?" He mumbled, glancing over her complexion. This dance routine had found Marley a friend – a protective one.

She shrugged, shivering, before looking up at him and nodding violently. "Y-Yeah, yeah, don't worry about me. It just… it hits home now, I guess."

The boy took a step back to look at her more, then nodded in understanding. Sam considered that one of the few benefits of being both Marley _and _Ryder's friend – he could actually see and comprehend where both of them were coming from. "He feels it too, you know."

Before Marley could even consider what Sam had meant by "it", Mr Schue was piercing their conversation with a harsh whisper to the boy, telling him to get changed. As they separated, Marley just stood, glued to the spot and tried to appear appreciative of their short conversation no matter how much she was hurting.

* * *

It was a surprise when they won. Aural Intensity was destined to come third (Marley was told that there always was a forgettable group), but as they saw The Warblers' stellar set, the team were preparing themselves for failure; preparing to wish that second shot at Nationals goodbye; preparing to graduate less than victorious. It was _definitely_ a surprise, but when they regrouped with the trophy and Marley and Ryder had shared this awkward eye contact for a few seconds as they contemplated hugging but ultimately turned away, score sheets revealed there were a few points in it due to the New Directions' "original way of handling come-to-know performances" – it must have been the dance.

It wasn't long before the group had to depart with their new Regionals trophy in tow, and Marley couldn't help the melancholy that flooded over her in between her giddy states, just thinking about the events that took place at Sectionals: a two minute long hug, an overflow of kisses, exchanged motivation – moments where Ryder seemed like the most amazing person in the world. Looking over to him, something told her through his body language that he was remembering it too. They looked at each other between the celebrating choir members before them, and the brunette tried a miniscule smile as he nodded at her and walked away to talk to someone else. She sighed, looking down and knowing that all of what had happened at Sectionals was just a memory now. Telling Katie she was going to get some air before they left, she strutted out onto the fire escape and leaned her hands across the bannister, just thinking things over between some elated dream and a stabbing nightmare.

A voice crept up on her. "You know, when we spoke before, I never pinned you down as an ND girl."

The brunette turned around, inspecting the boy before her now that they were in better light for the first time. She sneered, standing up straighter and instead leaning her back against the steel bannister, her arms resting on it at either sides behind her. "Oh, and why's that?"

"You're different to those dorks." He answered, hands in the pockets of his slacks. "You're mysterious, you're… captivating."

She chuckled at his reply, cocking a perfectly shaped eyebrow up at him. "Are you trying to tell me that you're attracted to me, or that I'm about to be the subject to a poem?"

"I'm telling you that you're insanely good. And, from what I've begged my team members to tell me, I've heard you're pretty damn good at singing too. I thought _we _were the only guys that knew how to backflip around here, _Marley._" The words slid off of his tongue expertly, making her cast her face down once again, then look up with huskier sapphire eyes, prodding him with her mystery.

"You know, I never got your name, Warbler." She smirked.

The brunette boy chuckled, grey eyes appearing inviting as he stood in front of her. "Hunter. Hunter Clarington."

Marley giggled, leaning back on the metal bannister even more. "I've heard of you. You're the front man, aren't you? The guy that we're supposed to stay away from?"

"What, does that scare you?" Hunter smirked.

Marley's eyes glimmered amongst the blissful spring day around them. She contemplated her movements for the next reply, but then bit her lip and raised her eyebrows at him. "I've never been one to stay away from danger."

It may have appeared sexy to him, but it was another reminder of everything that had happened – and it made her think of Ryder, and think of her current actions as a betrayal – before she was reminded promptly of all the opportunities right in front of her, and regained her composure as the boy before her chuckled. "So how come I haven't seen you before?" He was practically sympathising with her as she herself started to laugh.

"I joined after Nationals… it's complicated. I really have no reason to be here." The brunette shrugged.

His grey eyes stayed an enigma as he smirked. "Then why have you stayed?"

Marley simpered, leaning closer to him for a few seconds before retreating back against the metal bars to pack the final punch. "Why do you think? To kick the asses of people like you." She inspected how he shrunk back for a few moments and bit his lip as if to say 'touché', before starting a new lead to the conversation. "Speaking of, I thought you'd be a bit more shaken up about losing to your career-long rivals."

The boy huffed, then smirked, focusing on her again as they became very aware of their closer proximity. "I guess I've gained today in some way." H implied.

Marley raised an eyebrow, hesitating before eyeballing him up and down once more. "Oh, really?" Hunter shrugged in response, his gaze piercing through her again. "Then I guess you'll be losing me to Kentucky in a few months, since you're so confident."

Hunter's expression recognisably faltered. "You're transferring?"

The sapphire-eyed mystery shrunk back into her shoulders, looking down before connecting with his eyes again. "Graduating."

The brunette boy sneered. "I guess we aren't that different. And maybe we wouldn't see each other again…" He bit his lower lip, reaching into his blazer breast pocket and pulling out his phone, offering it to her. "Unless we made the effort to."

She knew what that meant. Again, a smidge of disloyalty wound up racing through her veins as fast as her ever-speeding heartbeat, but instead, she embraced being in that position and sneered, taking the phone away from the Warbler's grasp as she began to key her phone number into the device. Handing it back to him flirtatiously, he looked expectant, as if waiting for her to produce a similar device to allow the action to be reciprocated. Instead, she knew how to play this game well, smirking and crossing over, nearer the school's parking lot before them as the members of the New Directions began to file into the school bus. "I guess that's up to you."

* * *

**There you go! Hopefully a half-decent chapter – sorry if it wasn't. Again, I'm very pre-occupied :(**

**So, the ND's are heading to Nationals this year and Marley and Ryder are still not seeing eye-to-eye. Do you think Marley and Hunter will last, or is it just another distraction? Leave a review telling me what you think! It can be like my birthday present, since my birthday's next Saturday… ;)**

**Also… SUPERGIRL TRAILER CBS UPRONTS SUPERGIRL TRAILER CBS UPFRONTS SUPERGIRL TRAILER CBS UPRONTS SUPERGIRL TRAILER CBS UPFRONTS. I. AM. SO. FREAKING. EXCITED. SHE. LOOKS. SO AMAZING. AND BADASS. **

**For more ramblings, follow my Twitter (of which I have changed the username): jennoists.**

**Love you guys, and hopefully I can update as soon as possible after a few more busy weeks!**

**Beth :-)**


	18. The Revenge

**I'm back! Aagh, I hate exam season. So much. And I've just been too busy, I think that was the longest hiatus I've ever taken, sorry. You can all hate me (though I'd prefer it if you didn't tbh).**

**Also, because my timing for this story is now completely out of sync, this chapter takes place in early May.**

**For some form of apology, please accept this eventful chapter? **

* * *

He croons at her. Her eyes shy away before returning with a mischievous grin. She speaks, and the words intrigue him. He chuckles, leans closer, ensures that she is engaged. He slides his hand teasingly into his breast pocket of that infamous blazer that the helpless witnesses had been trained to despise. He produces a device – a phone – sleek, tempting; he offers it to her.

She takes it.

And that's that. Surrounded by the other people – some completely oblivious, some noticing, but not caring – Ryder is stung by whatever just happened. Feeling so incredibly marooned amongst the afternoon chill and his own strange concoction of melancholy and shock, the boy stood there, a bystander witnessing as someone he used to love waltzed down the steps, over to the awaiting bus, obtaining a smirk he knew all too well. And that's that.

Hastily, he got into the bus before her and finally averted his eyes away, because he couldn't risk connecting with those cerulean eyes for even a second. She was too beautiful, and he was too bitter. Marley was moving on, and he was cemented into the same spot he had already been in for weeks. Along with the added pressure of college, final exams and graduation being less than two months away, confusion over where he stood was definitely not what he needed.

What Marley did was wrong, and it still stabbed at his gut every day no matter how she was feeling, or how he was feeling, or the weather, or school. Betrayal was one thing, but as the ancient yellow bus manoeuvred the victorious club back to school, he just felt lost. A bottomless void tied itself to the stabbing sensation, and soon it was difficult to comprehend what was reality anymore. Right now, though, the reality was staring him in the face: Marley was moving on. Marley had told the boy that she never wanted to see his face again, and maybe that used to be a mutual feeling, but it wasn't anymore. The chestnut-haired boy hadn't forgiven her at all, or still loved her (he didn't think), but was merely mesmerised by her, like he had been so many times before. Mesmerised at how resilient she was, but also strangely pitying her because her self-confidence seemed so low that she constantly needed some guy to pick it up for her. In this scenario, it was Hunter – someone who appeared more similar to her than Ryder ever had – yet why did it seem so wrong? If they both shared mutual hatred, why couldn't they just get over themselves and not care?

There were too many questions in his mind to attend to all of them – especially _those _ones; in all honesty, he didn't know how to start.

* * *

"So, word is that a certain graduation party is happening at _your _house this year." Katie sneered, walking with Marley to Glee Club the following Monday.

The girl seemed preoccupied, a device resting in her hands as she tinkered with it and smiled at it foolishly – with her new lack of direction due to her loss of focus, the blonde was practically guiding her through the halls. "Hm? …Oh, yeah! Yeah… that's happening."

"I just hope your parents don't mind – like, the whole year is gonna be there. And I know that your house is ginormous, but come on, it's gonna be a train wreck." Her friend chuckled as they walked leisurely to their destination.

"Mhm… yeah… that's nice." Marley slurred, only half-listening, engrossed beyond words in her phone. Katie noticed.

"Marley!" Katie stopped in front of her, crossing her arms. Her sapphire gaze finally drifted upwards for once, confused and concerned. She saw her friend's impatient attitude instantly.

"What?" She giggled, completely unaware of her own half-heartedness.

Katie rolled her eyes, sighing tiredly – she loved the brunette, but there were times when she had wished for more attentiveness. "Did you even hear what I was saying?"

"Of course I did." The cheerleader shrugged, her phone reclining in one hand now – but not for long, for as soon as Katie began talking again, her eyes became preoccupied once again as her phone buzzed, signalling another text.

Katie stopped upon noticing her friend's tapping thumbs on the screen of her iPhone once again, huffing instead with new agitation. "Who the hell are you texting?"

"Hm…?" Marley hummed absent-mindedly again, and soon, her phone was being taken from her grasp with ease as her friend examined it, finally discovering an answer. "Hey!"

Katie sneered. "Relax, I'm just-" she paused, eyes intensifying and fixating on the name on the screen. "_Hunter_? Who's Hunter?"

"I…" Marley scoffed, crossing her arms as they spiralled into the choir room. Katie still stood in front of her. It didn't take long before the grey-blue eyes before her shot up in realisation.

"Hunter, the head of The Warblers? _That _Hunter?" The girl pondered, and when the cheerleader before her didn't answer, her eyes only grew wider. "Marley…"

The girl in question huffed, settling into a seat at the back of the room as her friend sat in the one to her left. "So I'm friends with him, what's the big deal?"

Katie scoffed, looking down at the girl's phone. "You guys don't text like _friends_…"

Marley snatched away her phone. "It's none of your business!" She reminded the girl playfully.

A silence followed, whereby the brunette continued to tap on her phone, replying to the text. After a while, her friend spoke again. "What about Ryder?"

That comment sent a cold shock through the girl's system, as emotions that came as a result of her promiscuity rose once again. She had hid away those feelings from everyone, including herself, but deep inside – even without commitment – the relationship seemed as though it was picking at new scars which she wanted so desperately to heal; really, they hadn't. Those emotions of betrayal; of forcing herself into a relationship to occupy her mind even when she was uncomfortable doing so at the end of it, poured over her like a bucket of ice water. It turned her excited, hot blood into something strange, something slow. This sensation felt like hours, but in reality it was only a second or two, and the girl herself was the only person to notice it. She chuckled. "_What about_ Ryder?"

"It's only been a matter of weeks since you two separated." Katie reminded her. "The wounds are still fresh – I can see that in both of you. Isn't it too soon to move on?"

Marley sneered at the words. "Honey, we aren't even dating. What Hunter and I have… it's just casual. It's not even exclusive." She bit her lip, pondering over her next choice of words to try and spell out what she had tried to make herself believe, other members of the club beginning to file in. "We've been on _one_ '_date' _and kissed _twice_ – I doubt anything will happen. Besides, I don't want to be weighed down anymore – and _he_ understands that."

Katie shook her head, closing her eyes for a moment before opening them back up and furrowing her brow. "I still think it's an awful idea. You don't know what this guy's capable of, Marley."

"Oh, and what's that?" Marley spoke, her voice like velvet as she put her phone away and folded her arms, raising an eyebrow to question the girl further.

The blonde seemed flabbergasted, chuckling and exclaiming as if it was the most obvious warning side in the world. "He's the head of The Warblers, and you're already on your way to second base!"

Marley sat straighter, pure astonishment taking over her complexion as other people in the group who were settling amongst themselves became involved with the conversation. Blaine spoke first. "What? You're dating Hunter?"

Marley's expression remained intact. "We're not dating!"

"Didn't you give him your number?" Artie remembered, as some of the group members nodded collectively.

"So? Doesn't mean we're going out, Abrams." Marley snickered as more people began to voice their opinion, with the brunette still reminding them that it was only one casual dinner date. "It was just being polite… we both paid our half at the end of it. Please stop making mountains out of this."

"Still, you went out with _the enemy_. He seems charming now, but he's trouble, girl." Unique added what had already been said around the room. The brunette rolled her eyes.

"Why do you care so much about something that's not even your business?" The girl retorted with new-found nonchalance, reclining in her seat as she spoke concerning the whole group.

"We don't." Tina finally butted in after staying silent (much like Ryder was, at the opposite end of the sitting area). "It's not our problem that you can't keep your legs closed."

The blue-eyed girl cocked her head to the side and chuckled humourlessly. "Slut-shaming. Classy."

"Right, everyone!" Mr Schue inevitably interrupted the group, making both Marley and the newly-mute Ryder incredibly glad as he did so. "Congratulations on our Regionals win again!" He grinned from ear to ear, itching his heavily gelled curls for a moment as his class cheered for their victory. "This week, I've got a great assignment planned. So, when you're ready…" The group quietened down, Marley reclining further in her seat with one eyebrow poised and her arms crossed over the WMHS logo on her torso. "She's a resounding success on a bigger scale than ever before, is a role model to people everywhere, and is known for turning feuds into fame… and her newest music video is no exception. Due to popular demand, it needed to be done… it's Taylor Swift week!"

Besides the few taken-aback responses (of which there always had to be a few), the club seemed excited for this assignment – especially Marley. She had been looking for an excuse to sing some Taylor since her stab at her ex-boyfriend, and thinking on that for a while, she dared to turn her head, over to the boy. His head pointed in his lap, biting his lip, it was obvious that Ryder seemed deceived and jealous, leading Marley to remember that he must have been there during her explanation of her and Hunter. He thought she was moving on; that she was over it. But she wasn't. It was just an interruption, to keep her from hating herself any more than she already did – evidently, it did the opposite as her heart crushed just looking at what she had done to him. She had taken away his pride – and with that, taken away his voice.

* * *

He took her out. They paid their halves. He dropped her home. She thanked him. They kissed.

Just thinking about it didn't make him feel sick, no. Thankfully – or maybe not – he had been feeling nauseous so frequently over the past few months that something like that was nothing of a new sensation. All of his thoughts seemed like locked safes which he could not comprehend no matter how hard he tried, or timers ticking until eventually they would drive him insane.

It wasn't all her, though. Part of it was Yale, and the fact that everyone had been getting their college acceptance letters back, and he was struggling to see the lack of his as anything other than a good sign. It wasn't the only college he had applied to, but it was his dream college; the one he had sought after since he first knew anything about education after public school. His nerves and anxiety just happened to be overthrown still by Marley.

Was something wrong with him? It had only been a few weeks, but… he'd never been in a serious relationship before, or any that actually _counted _for something – was it normal to just instantly fling himself at the next person who showed some appreciation for his existence? Mind you, that wasn't very easy to find, especially with his status. It was so much easier for her, McKinley royalty, prom queen.

It took him a while to sleep that night, just lying in bed amongst the darkness he was in; the darkness he felt all over his body, chaining him to the bed as if he didn't already want to keep still. When his eyes did close, he was far from asleep. When he was asleep, he was far from dreaming – even unconscious, he felt like he was in a nightmare. That was until a dream presented itself, seemingly realistic, but he knew that it was far from reality.

He was in the choir room, in his usual spot, and Mr Schue was talking at the front, though he couldn't understand what he was saying. Ryder was conscious of the teacher's words, but couldn't grasp them and forgot them as soon as they passed as if they were nonsense in the air. Katie stood at the front too, poised, and finally he realised that Mr Schue was introducing of the words the man spoke reminded him that it was Taylor Swift week – and his subconscious poked him, reminding him that the last song of Taylor Swift's to be sung in the group was from Marley, that eventful week of Guilty Pleasures. He couldn't remember turning his head, but soon he was looking at her from his seat, where she was sitting as she would usually: reclining, arms crossed, looking as though she couldn't care less. Music began playing, and he remembered this song. He had heard it before, and it was one of his favourites of the singer's. Past the introduction, though, his thoughts soon seemed muddled as Katie didn't sing, but rather Marley did, in the same position as she was mere seconds ago – just reclining nonchalantly.

_I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us,_

_How we met and the sparks flew instantly,_

_And people would say, "They're the lucky ones."_

_I used to know my place was the spot next to you,_

_Now I'm searching the room for an empty seat,_

_'Cause lately I don't even know what page you're on._

She looked nowhere but straight ahead, even when Ryder recognised some kind of hunger inside of him as soon he gave in and sang the next part.

_Oh, a simple complication,_

_Miscommunications lead to fall-out._

_So many things that I wish you knew,_

_So many walls up, I can't break through._

Although the bell didn't ring, people began to gather their things and stand, exiting the room. The boy felt his feet do the same as the song still continued. Marley sang as the members of the group appeared unfazed.

_Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking,_

_And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?_

Ryder looked down as the two ventured still into the hallway, mesmerised by her as she remained unaffected by his presence. He sang next, trying to mirror her actions and staring straight ahead.

_I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all broke down,_

_And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now._

Swirling around the next corridor, Marley raised an eyebrow as her books balanced in between her torso and folded arms. They were about to arrive at their lockers. Marley bit her lip before singing in her typical snarky attitude, finally twisting the combination in her locker upon arriving at it.

_Next chapter._

_How'd we end up this way?_

_See me nervously pulling at my clothes and trying to look busy,_

_And you're doing your best to avoid me._

Ryder turned around, turning his head over his shoulder to see that Marley was actually doing the same thing. Not wanting to risk the pain of contact with that mesmerising shade of blue, he spun his head back around and tried to focus on his locker, which was now open, singing into it.

_I'm starting to think one day I'll tell the story of us,_

_How I was losing my mind when I saw you here,_

_But you held your pride like you should've held me._

Next, the boy felt his hand reach for the rim of his metal locker and shut the small door, his feet moving him down the hallway, next to her still as they now harmonised.

_Oh, I'm scared to see the ending,_

_Why are we pretending this is nothing?_

_[Ryder] I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how,_

_[Marley] I've never heard silence quite this loud._

The two ventured further across the school grounds, and now, Ryder had no idea where his feet were taking them. They continued to harmonise, seemingly moving in slow motion now, as the brunette still refused to acknowledge the boy's existence.

_Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking,_

_And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?_

_I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all broke down,_

_And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now._

In the short intermission, suddenly the boy found himself being propelled downward, nudged by his shoulder, and soon felt his face against the cold linoleum floor of McKinley. The song faded for a few slow seconds as laughing taunted him instead, and as he used his hands to shift himself up from his lying position, he noticed one of the jocks– one of the stars of the school – staring down at him. The culprit. Marley still walked ahead, not noticing anything different as faces crowded around the boy, their laughs echoing in his ears. He felt his mouth move, and wondered if he was going to shout, but instead, the music came back.

_This is looking like a contest,_

_Of who can act like they care less,_

And then, the faces cut away as he noticed a figure standing, separating the faces and keeping his eyes transfixed on the figure as it sang as sweetly as ever.

_But I liked it better when you were on my side._

The cheerleader began to move towards him, putting one white trainer; one slender leg, in front of the other until she was towering over him. He sang to her, now timid and afraid of her capabilities.

_The battle's in your hands now,_

_But I would lay my armour down_

_[Marley] If you said you'd rather love than fight._

Singing to him face to face for the first time, their eyes connecting as deep blue met deep brown, the girl's face still seemed monotonous, but that didn't halt any surprise that Ryder felt. As she sang the next lines and he remained in awe, the brunette leaned forward slightly and offered her hand to the boy, who finally took it after seconds of hesitation. The intensity in her eyes grew stronger.

_So many things that you wish I knew,_

_But the story of us might be ending soon._

_Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking,_

_And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?_

_I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all broke down,_

Ryder suddenly regained his composure and sang the climatic ending with her, their expressions growing desperate for each other, harmonising once again as both of their voices created a power which made it seem like the whole thing was, for a moment, real.

_And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now, now, now._

_And we're not speaking,_

_And I'm dying to know is it killing you_

_[Marley] like it's killing me, yeah?_

_[Both] I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate 'cause we're going down,_

_And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now._

_The end._

Soon, their surroundings became all-too familiar and they soaked up the sound of other conversations, their imagined duet becoming irrelevant. Marley finally let go of his hand as they just stared at each other, and with blurring vision, the boy felt compelled to show gratitude for her helping him. "Th-Thank you."

Marley bit her lip, swaying her head to the side slightly as her eyes grew husky. "I thought we weren't supposed to like each other." She teased.

The teenager squeezed his eyes shut, looking down, his mind going dizzy before her as the sounds around him began tumbling and his vision tunnelling. "I… I _don't_…" He fumbled with words, tripping over his senses. He looked up, faced with her after feeling so incredibly distant. "I… I don't know why you're here…"

She began to divide in his vision, her classic smoulder distorted as he felt himself travel uncontrollably between two worlds: the dream and the reality. When she spoke, her voice echoed and repeated. "Why wouldn't I be here?" She paused, as if showing him that she knew the sensation he was feeling, but wanting to bring him back into the dream no matter how far he was straying away. She looked around surreptitiously, running her hand up the smooth fabric of his sleeve as he shivered upon impact but warmed to the sensation; biting her lip, she echoed a whisper over to his eardrum: "Listen to your subconscious, baby. It knows more than you do."

And just like that, he arose, still coated in darkness, but now awake and definitely in his room, trembling, thirsty, confused. He buried his head in his hands, with even more questions than at the start of his slumber, but somehow, he could feel the keys unlocking and the timers running out.

* * *

Exasperation was the only word to describe the week in the brunette's mind. She had expected the distance from Ryder, but even Katie was giving her shade that, in all fairness to herself, she didn't deserve. Maybe she should have seen the disapproval, the disappointment, from a mile away. Maybe fooling around with a Warbler _was _forbidden territory, but if only they knew it was just a digression, maybe they would understand that bit more. Maybe.

More urgently, it seemed that her small feud with Tina Cohen-Chang still wasn't finished with, despite Marley's best intentions and efforts to make it a completed task – the girl tried so hard to remind herself that Tina shouldn't bother her in the slightest, but in the last week especially, the claws were growing longer and sharper, ready for a fatal attack which, now, Marley couldn't help but fear. It started with little immature, passive aggressive comments that slipped seamlessly into conversation, and then, it was a comment every ten minutes about how the blue eyed girl always demanded attention, or was too sinful for her own good, or that promiscuity was the worst thing ever to exist in the world. Marley did her best to grin and bear it, laughing it off or remaining neutral every time, and soon, Tina had finally stopped.

Or at least, it had seemed that way at the time.

The girl had finally tuned back into Mr Schuester's mandatory drone at the beginning of every club session, long enough to hear that he was now asking for last minute assignments before moving on with their group number that afternoon – _Bad Blood – _complete with costumes and sides to mirror the feud between Taylor and the rumoured Katy Perry. Everyone's head turned to the side, and Marley felt like she should too, over to the inevitable sight of Tina herself, her arm straightened and poised in the air with a sneer as Mr Schue looked elated, welcoming her to the floor. Marley couldn't help but feel nauseous; feel as though something was about to happen.

Tina looked at her audience for a moment, centre stage, gripping their attention and digging those manipulative fingernails into each person's brain cells. Marley reclined in her chair, arms fixed and crossed over her chest, one eyebrow raised expectantly. She suddenly regretted sitting next to Katie, who had for once decided to sit on the front row on the floor of the room; call it ridiculous, but she suddenly felt vulnerable to the Asian girl's eyes as they finally arrived on hers and threatened to pierce through her.

Flashing a lethal grin, she introduced the song. "I guess this is to those who were expecting me to remain the quiet one." Tina threw a millisecond's glance to Marley, who maintained a ruthless composure on the outside. Inside, she knew what was coming. Something poisonous, something final, some kind of… revenge.

And she saw it coming, as arguably the most badass and aggressive song Taylor Swift herself had written to date began to play. The guitar twanging that riff which had previously rung through stadiums, and only now brought dread upon a Taylor Swift fan as it rang through their cramped, pathetic choir room. Tina began to sing.

_The story starts when it was hot and it was summer and..._

_I had it all, I had him right there where I wanted him_

_She came along, got him alone and let's hear the applause_

_She took him faster than you could say "sabotage"_

_I never saw it coming, wouldn't have suspected it_

_I underestimated just who I was dealing with_

_She had to know the pain was beating on me like a drum_

_She underestimated just who she was stealing from_

The brown eyed girl paced around the room with the demeaning glare she began the song with, applying actions and gestures where was most appropriate, though it was debatable whether singing this song in the first place was appropriate at all.

_She's not a saint, and she's not what you think_

_She's an actress, whoa_

_She's better known for the things that she does_

_On the mattress, whoa_

_Soon she's gonna find, stealing other people's toys_

_On the playground won't make you many friends_

_She should keep in mind_

_She should keep in mind_

_There is nothing I do better than revenge_

After shrewdly observing and listening to all of the unsubtle hints, the whole room caught on. The whole room was reminded of how the girl had thrown nothing but awful comments at Marley all week and beforehand, and now identified the song as what it truly was: one final kick in the back of the knee to Marley, even though she was already collapsing to the floor.

_She looks at life like it's a party and she's on the list_

_She looks at me like I'm a trend and she's so over it_

_I think her ever-present frown is a little troubling_

_And she thinks I'm psycho 'cause I like to rhyme her name with things_

_But sophistication isn't what you wear or who you know_

_Or pushing people down to get you where you wanna go_

_They wouldn't teach you that in prep school so it's up to me_

_But no amount of vintage dresses gives you dignity_

Marley rolled her eyes, trying desperately to remind herself that to have her feeling emotion was what Tina desired out of this; trying to hang onto that concrete composure which had guarded her so well in the past. She felt it crumbling. It was bizarre how well the lyrics fit together with what Tina was trying to get across in the first place: that Marley thought of life as a party, a trend, something that is only survived with status. What was strange was that it was as if Tina was under the impression that Marley wasn't conscious of her own wrongdoings. That had been the reason she initially changed – to be a better person and understand that life wasn't what she initially thought. Didn't Tina understand her progression at all? Didn't she comprehend that Marley might already be kicking herself over those things already without her helping?

_She's not a saint, and she's not what you think_

_She's an actress, whoa_

_She's better known for the things that she does_

_On the mattress, whoa_

_Soon she's gonna find, stealing other people's toys_

_On the playground won't make you many friends_

_She should keep in mind_

_She should keep in mind_

_There is nothing I do better than revenge_

At this point, Tina had read everyone's faces and noticed that they had all understood her intentions with the song. Subtlety was meaningless at this point, so she traipsed over to Marley herself for the middle-eighth, picking it up as she crouched down slightly at Marley's eye level as the victim herself held on for dear life to the stone face she was just about maintaining.

_I'm just another thing for you to roll your eyes at, honey_

_You might have him but haven't you heard_

_I'm just another thing for you to roll your eyes at, honey_

_You might have him but I always get the last word_

_Whoa_

Stepping back into centre stage as she began to bring the song to its climax, Tina examined the effect she had on the rest of the audience, who – no matter what mistakes the cheerleader had made – looked incredibly taken aback, almost disgusted at what Tina was doing. Passive aggressive was always the club's style, and it was definitely a new experience for everyone to be witnesses to this confrontational vengeance between the two girls. Still though, the Asian girl belted out her solo as if her life depended on it.

_She's not a saint_

_And she's not what you think_

_She's an actress, whoa_

_She's better known_

_For the things that she does_

_On the mattress, whoa_

_Soon she's gonna find_

_Stealing other people's toys_

_On the playground won't_

_Make you many friends_

_She should keep in mind_

_She should keep in mind_

_There is nothing I do better than revenge_

Watching her enemy rounding the song off, Marley finally began to feel all the restraints she had strapped to herself breaking and pinging off at the sides, fraying, causing her eyes to gloss over as her brain became muddled with everything that was going on. She was meant to be strong. She was Marley Rose, cheerleader, popular, unafraid of imitators like the girl standing in front of her. All Tina wanted was a reaction, and she promised herself to leave her unsatisfied, but she could practically feel that promise being torn in two. She was becoming overwhelmed, and amongst everything that had happened in the last few awful, sickening months of her life, this had been enough to send Marley Rose herself over the edge.

_Do you still feel like you know what you're doing?_

_'Cause I don't think you do, oh._

The song itself was mocking her now as she began to feel the anger and regret bubbling up inside of her.

_Do you still feel like you know what you're doing?_

_I don't think you do_

_I don't think you do_

_Let's hear the applause_

_Come on show me how much better you are (so much better, yeah)_

Tina was only being honest. She had done this to herself.

_So you deserve some applause 'cause you're so much better_

_She took him faster than you could say "sabotage"._

And suddenly, the room discovered that it took sound to appreciate silence. For many witnesses, the storm was rumbling away as everyone just appeared glued to their seats – for others, the thunder was only just starting to brew up. No longer in charge of her own thoughts or actions, Marley felt herself stand up abruptly, turning every head in the room. Many of them expected a physical fight to go down, but amongst the madness Marley still heard Ryder's voice from months ago, telling her that she was worth so much more. That was useless now, because the girl now knew that she wasn't. Either way, she still wanted to be going places after McKinley, and violence would make that impossible, so instead, the brunette felt herself taking bending and unstable steps out of the room as she tried to keep her posture admirable no matter how much she desperately wanted to curl into herself at that moment in time.

Now, she was in the hallway. She was away from the eyes of the school, but it was such a strange sensation to feel herself breaking here – it was a sensation that no one could see, lest her reputation be ruined. Feeling her guard rapidly shaking, crumbling, falling, she moved faster, now running to the girls' bathroom, her feet still light and only tapping against the linoleum floor as she gained velocity. She heard someone calling her name. A feminine, caring voice. She ran faster.

Finally reaching the bathroom, she all but collapsed against the sink, looking down into it as she did all she could to stop herself from falling. Thoughts were having a race with each other as they began a ringing in her ears, the girl beginning to feel dizzy with blue eyes glazing in devastation for herself. It was this moment when she realised how little popularity and status actually meant, and it was such a painful realisation because those things had been all she had really achieved in high school – nothing else. It was this moment when she realised that her whole school career had been a failure. It was this moment when she realised just how dependant she was on other people to boost her up on a podium, and how just one fault could send her crashing down. It was this moment when she saw what Ryder now saw.

She still heard her name being called frantically, and soon, echoing footsteps increased and grew louder until Katie was standing in the doorway looking at the brunette with her own two eyes. She deflated, looking at the red, white and black mess before her. "Marley…"

"No." The girl spoke briskly, trying to straighten herself up and turn away. "You can't see me this way… you can't…"

"Mar, I'm your best friend." Katie chuckled, though it wasn't satirical. The blonde pressed on, stepping towards the brunette and placing a hand on her fragile arm. "Please, just let me help you-"

"No!" The cheerleader winced and drew backwards, her breathing becoming more desperate as she stood, helpless. "I don't need any help. I need to start doing things on my own, I need to stop… relying on other people to get to where I need to be." Her guard was mere rubble now, and whatever attempts she was making to be independent and strong were failing as she sniffed abruptly, leaning against the sink once more and clamping her eyes shut. "I can't do this now…"

"You're human, you're allowed to break and let go." Katie quietly persisted. "It's not healthy to torture yourself like this."

Marley chuckled humourlessly into the dense, uncomfortable air. "As if anything I've done in the last four years is "healthy"."

A silence followed suit after her retort, until it became unbearable and it killed Katie not to break it. "You shouldn't listen to Tina. God knows she's dramatic and gossipy like that, she doesn't know the first thing about you-"

"This isn't about her… I-… I mean, _I_ don't even know the first thing about me…" Marley's voice began to give in as she sniffed sharply, clamping her eyes shut a second time but now forcing a tear out unintentionally. "I feel like I don't know anything anymore."

"Marley…"

"And Tina was right. I've been so stupid, and I'm just gonna be stuck here as everyone else looks back on these years and, like…" The cerulean-eyed teenager gulped, tears streaming down her face with tints of mascara as her perfect ponytail only now began to fray. "I've fucked everything up, I just…"

Katie was far over the line of feeling helpless now, but still tried her best to input something. "You haven't…"

"Yes, I have, Katie! My whole life, I've just been living for myself rather than anyone else, and I don't even know how to reverse all of the damage I've done." She sniffed, raising her body up and allowing Katie to look at her, stiffening but trembling. "This year was meant to be the best year of my life! It started off so perfect, and I didn't feel as much pressure as I had the last few years, and I was entering senior year with someone who I really, really loved and who loved me back. And then I fucked. Everything. Up. Because that's just what I do, isn't it? I just tower over everyone and then somehow I always find a way to collapse, and I just expect others to lift me back up. But this time, I just kept falling and expecting someone to save me when really, no one cares. And I don't blame them at all because whenever I look in the mirror now, I just see this… this _failure_ staring back at me." She shied away near the end with her tone, inhaling that uncomfortable air with difficulty as her throat closed up and she felt as though no one could save her, not even herself. Especially not herself.

At this point, Marley debated turning back to the sink, as she tried to calm herself down so to not appear a complete mess to her friend. She tried breathing normally, and shut her eyes as more tears streamed. She felt Katie press some tissues into her hand, and she tried a smile, finally turning to the mirror and dabbing them against the run mascara on her now-blotchy face. The brunette took a deep breath, finally looking down again and releasing the tissue from her shaking but hesitant grasp. A brief moment of quiet followed, but soon, words that the girl couldn't comprehend until they were out in the open arose. "God, I haven't been this fucking heartbroken since freshman year." She choked out and, disregarding the coarse tissue, used the heel of her left palm to dab at the waterline of one of her damp eyes, applying a small amount pressure as she scolded herself internally for reacting this way. All of that hurt she had ever hidden over the past months was flooding back, and so came the memories of _that_ awful occurrence. The occurrence no one knew about; the one she never dared to tell. The occurrence that started it all and flung her, unprepared, from the comfort of normality.

Of course, her blonde friend was utterly clueless, leading to a wary question: "What… happened in freshman year?"

Marley's eyes rebounded between the other girl, her hands and her reflection in the enviously faultless mirror. Part of her wanted to keep that area of her life a secret forever, and leave it locked up in a realm deep inside her brain where no one could ever access it. But she would access it – and not even if she tried to. That secret would catch up with her in the end when she least expected it: just as she was drifting off to sleep, or when she was dazed out in a boring class at school, or doing her homework in her room, or at Cheerios practice. She bit her lip. It _would _be easier to let it out on someone for a change… or would it? Would Katie be too horrified, and then what? She'd be alone in _all _aspects of her life. But it was so preposterously tempting, and she needed to indulge in that world for once, or else she feared for herself. Keeping it a secret would drive her even more insane – it would haunt her even more than it already had. With that, she couldn't control her mouth as it began to draw out quivering words before her.

"His name was… Dylan. A junior. I wasn't even a Cheerio yet – people looked through me like I was transparent, and no one noticed me, and I was pretty lonely because hardly anyone from my middle school was at McKinley. I was completely isolated. And then… he approached me, and I instantly knew that it was a big deal because he was wearing a letterman jacket and he had one of those smirks which you could tell meant bad news, and he told me that he hadn't seen me around before, and that he would have remembered me if he had because I looked much prettier than any other girl he'd seen before." The brunette scoffed, rolling her glassy eyes. "Bullshit. Of course I fell for it, because someone had actually _noticed _me for a change… so we exchanged numbers, and I remember pressing his cell number into my crappy little phone and thinking _"Oh my God, this guy actually _likes _me." _And I was so excited, and I was so flattered that he was looking at me, I didn't even notice that his eyes lingered longer on some places than others."

Marley paused briefly to swallow down a growing lump which was clogging her throat. "So we went out a few times, and he was my first kiss – and my first boyfriend… or, at least… that's what he was to me. And we'd been going out a month and everything was fine, and I looked past every subtle suggestion he was making because I didn't want to lose him, and I was new to it so I thought… I thought that's what boyfriends do." The sapphire eyed girl squeezed her eyes shut as she sensed Katie's worried eyes never straying from her, tears still flowing slowly as she continued.

"And then it was Valentine's Day. I was so excited because it was my first one where I had someone to celebrate it with, and I went over to Dylan's house with this cutesy sweater dress on and converse, and my hair in a side braid, and I did my makeup all nice, and he'd ordered us Chinese food and movies and we just hung out in his room." She sighed shakily, looking down at the linoleum floor before shifting her head back upwards. "B-But that didn't last long. He seemed agitated; unsatisfied even… and then he was kissing me and we were making out and he wanted to go all the way. He said a bunch of stuff which made him seem like the victim. He told me he'd been patient, and that I made him better, and that it's normal for people to do it… and I didn't want to displease him, or make him leave me… I thought I was a freak for being a virgin… so... we did it." She took a pause for her words to sink into hers and Katie's minds, licking her lips as a single tear strayed from her eye. "And it wasn't anything special, or romantic… it was just… _happening._" She wailed, taking a sharp breath before continuing._ "_Like, one second we were laughing and I was this innocent little freshman girl, and then the next his mouth is like, latched onto my neck, and he's telling me to take off all of my clothes."

Marley sucked in a gasp, before trying to calm herself down after that noticeable crescendo in her voice that had involuntarily developed. "But at the time, I didn't know that. I thought it was how it was meant to be. I was so inexperienced, I had no idea of what a first time was meant to be like. And the thing was: right after we did it, I laid back in this weird state with my senses impaired and my head utterly jumbled with feelings for this guy, and I turned to him, and I said "_I love you_" …And he just said: "_Okay_"."

Her lip trembled as she relived that memory. She left a few more seconds of deadly silence before moving onto the next idea. "The next day at school I was walking in with the biggest smile on my face, because I couldn't wait to see _him_. I thought I loved him. And so, I walk in, and I see him flirting with this girl on the cheerleading squad… her name was Quinn, or something…" She rolled her eyes, clearly reprimanding herself once more for not remembering. "And I got jealous, because he was looking at her the exact same way he looked at me, that first time. So I approached him, and said "Hi." And he turned to me and eyed me up, telling this Quinn girl to hold on a second while he turned to me. We were in the middle of the hallway, and he eyeballed me up again and then winced, as though I was a bad test score that had just been laid on his table, and he told me that he thought that we shouldn't be together anymore. And so, you know, I was shocked and hurt and I asked him why, and you know what he said?" She almost looked right at Katie, but she was too afraid to see what her expression might be at that point in time, so she decided to leave that question rhetorical. "He smirked, and looked at my cutesy outfit and my newsboy cap and my hair in pigtails, and he said – loud enough for everyone to hear – _"Sorry, but goodie-two-shoes girls aren't my type, you prude." _And everyone just… stopped talking. And then a few were chuckling. And… slowly… people began talking again, and he sauntered back to that Quinn girl and I just stood there. I was so humiliated; so heartbroken. I thought he actually enjoyed my company, but all he ever really wanted was to get into the pretty freshman girl's sweater dress." She choked out once more, the cries she had been holding back now threatening to rack her body.

"And I thought I was a freak. I thought it was my fault. I went through hours that night of just crying, and regretting, and crying some more… and then, I just… stopped caring. I'd turned into this cold, bitter girl, and I just wanted revenge for all he'd done to me – I wanted people to know that they couldn't hurt me anymore, or treat me like I was invisible. I wanted to be unrecognisable from who I was. So, the next day I signed up to the Cheerios and got in because Coach Sue said she could use some fresh meat on the squad, and because I looked pretty enough to be Head Cheerleader one day. Santana Lopez became my mentor. And then, when I'd been given my bag and my uniform and my sneakers, and my cardigan and my tracksuit bottoms, I wore my high pony and sauntered right up to the first guy I saw and asked him out. I vowed never to say _"I love you" _to a guy ever again. And then, by the next month, I was appointed Head Cheerleader and the guys were worshipping the ground I walked on… all before my sixteenth birthday."

"Dylan transferred to a different school soon after – God knows why, I didn't even care... But even after that, I couldn't stop because I loved the attention, and the power, and the love I was getting. So, that was just how I remained… for the best part of three years. But every time I was with a guy, I knew I wanted something more… my first time turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life, so I swore to make all of the other times worth more. But I didn't know then that it wasn't the quantity of guys that made it worth more… and now," She gulped once more, her throat bobbing as her eyes sank to the floor again, her voice becoming high-pitched. "Now, I know that it didn't matter about sex at _all_. It didn't even matter. Because my 'something more' just so happened to be this science-obsessed, superhero-worshipping, geeky, book-loving, glasses-wearing nerd. But he was _my_ nerd." She whimpered, crying for a moment or two before swallowing her pride and looking Katie dead in the eyes. She looked so concerned; it was as if she was watching a war unfold right before her eyes. "He was my first _"I love you too"._ But… h… h-he _was _my nerd, Katie. That's just the thing. He _was _my nerd; my perfect, 'something more' guy… but now he treats me just like all of those people did at the beginning of my freshman year. I'm… _t-transparent_ to him. And all- bec-ause I fucked up the be-st thing that e-ver happened to m-me by sleazing a-round with some g-guy..." Her breathing lapsed into that irregularity as Katie finally enveloped her in her arms, Marley sobbing into her with all of that pain that she had hidden behind a smirk for so long. She couldn't decide if retelling that awful event in freshman year was a good or a bad thing, but it had been the first time she had even uttered it since telling Santana as a new Cheerio, so relief was prominent even if nothing else was. The consequence was that recalling that occurrence had been that final push off the edge, and now, the brunette wondered if she would ever stop crying as she indulged in her own sickening emotions at last.

It was a good ten minutes before Katie was drawing back from their embrace, and now, Marley could see that she was crying, too. "You don't deserve this, Marley. You always villainize yourself and see yourself as what you used to be, but don't you see how much you've changed?"

Marley shook her head, gulping and aching for air. "I haven't changed. I still sleaze around, a-and I move on too fast for m-my brain to try to catch up…" the girl looked down momentarily, closing her eyes and biting her lip, her mind rushing between those three guys: Dylan, Hunter and Ryder. Past, present, and someone who she could only hope would be future. "And Ryder w-wouldn't dream of giving me another chance n-ow, after I've broken him so many times and…. Whenever I s-see him I just think about all the times in the p-past when he's said he loves me, and h-he cares about me, and that we belong to each other, and I just feel so lost because it's… it's all my fault that everything's changed now…"

She should have known that it wouldn't be long before Katie stopped her and told her otherwise, whispering into the air between them as the blonde held her by her arms softly. "Don't say that, you know that it was both of your faults in the end and Ryder still cares about you, deep down."

Marley sniffed, whimpering, wishing all that Katie was saying was true. "No, he doesn't… I can see it whenever we cross paths, he wants nothing to do with me anymore." She gulped. "And like, I want to move on because it's hurting me so much, but I know anything I do will just make it worse… and that's why…. that's why I started seeing Hunter. I needed a distraction, and someone to make me feel important. I seemed to be under the stupid impression that it would help all that I was feeling." She chuckled humourlessly between her tear-filled words. "The spark I was expecting never took off. Whenever we touched, it just felt so wrong, I… I don't know what I was thinking. It made me feel even worse… like I was betraying Ryder…" She trailed off into another silence, but returned with silent cries. "I'm so pathetic, why do I do this? I just confuse myself all the time and now I just feel like… like I'm falling…"

Katie held her closer so that they embraced again, wrapping her comforting arms around her friend as they shared that moment together. "I know. And I'm always here, Mar. You don't need to face this on your own."

And she wouldn't. Curious as he ever was, he had tried to find her just like Katie had – he didn't know why at first, but listening to everything she had confessed through the wall, he was starting to realise. He didn't know if what he had heard had cleared things up or just shuffled things around further in his mess of a mind; finally concluding amongst all of the muddle that his dream must have been some sort of clue, even if his feelings were still a blur in front of his eyes, he needed to chase them somehow. He needed to talk to her.

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**I am so so so sorry again! Really, I didn't plan to be gone this long. I doubt the chapter's perfectly polished, but you guys needed it! I'm on summer holidays now, but I will be in France for two weeks and more things are happening... what I'm saying is, if I get the chance, I'll write.**

**For anyone wondering what Taylor Swfit songs I used for this chapter, they were 'The Story of Us' and 'Better Than Revenge', I believe taken from her album **_**'Speak Now'**_** (which, for the record, is a totally underappreciated album in my view).**

**Also, I just really wish I could have been at Comic Con to see Melissa and the Supergirl panel and The Flash panel and aaaarghgh, San Diego is too far away. Why must you do this to me planet Earth?**

**And also, the morning I wrote this, I heard that Melissa confirmed in her last interview at Comic Con that she and Blake **_**are **_**in fact married! They still won't give any specific details, but I admire that and respect that beyond words. I hope the media accepts that and doesn't bug them about it :-(**

**That's all from me for now, until next time (whenever that may be),**

**Beth :-)**


	19. The Sombre Summer

**Oh. My God. I'm so sorry. I never intended to be gone this long! You see, I heard and saw every "come back!" that you all posted, and I read it with longing. I wanted to come back, friends. I so, so, so badly wanted to. But there were reasons that meant I simply couldn't – vis a vis, the following: 1) I was involved in a production at school that meant I came back hideously late and therefore struggled to even complete 2) the copious amounts of work and coursework that I have been getting due to the fact that 3) this year I am undergoing my GCSEs which have a great impact on the rest of my life, meaning that I really need to start concentrating and knuckling down at school. The production is over now, but the coursework and the fact that, yes, this year actually counts towards something, is still prospering onwards. And so, it is with regret that I inform you: I am back, but for how long is uncertain. There may be times in the future when I'm gone for even longer. I understand that this is a whole different hiatus planet, but please know that I so badly want to write. Trust me, this story is often occupying my thoughts when really I should be thinking about more important things in life. I wanted to come back, I just… couldn't. And it sucked. But hey! I'm here now. What did I miss?**

* * *

After that, she couldn't help falling – she had tempted fate; teased it, poked at it until it trembled, and shook, and toppled down before her. So she wasn't surprised when she fell. It was inevitable really, wasn't it? After all this time?

Marley Rose had become a broken shell of a girl, submerged in the deepest of slums, thrown in the deep end and simply awaiting until she would float back up to the surface, ugly, repellent, charmless. And the following weekend, that was how she waited. Surrounded by her own filth, her cheerleading costume strewn over her floor because she hadn't the courage to hang it up in pride; to put it away in her closet like she had for four years. And how could she take pride in a uniform which that disgusting junior had tied her to?

She thought about Dylan a lot after telling Katie about it. There was something strangely therapeutic yet haunting about it taking up her thoughts, as she darkly reminisced about the boy that changed her life back in freshman year; the man who had turned her into this ugly, repellent, charmless thing. She thought about the way he held her, and how she should have known that he didn't care because it wasn't urgent or soft, it was just happening. Everything that night had so oddly changed to 'just happening'. And that's what Marley said to her best friend and she was burning with fear in the ladies' bathroom, wasn't it? That it was all just… happening. Dylan ditching her, just happened. Marley falling for it all the way a naïve fifteen year old would, just happened. Dylan forcing her to have sex even when it wasn't even legal for her to consent to it, just happened. It all sounded very casual and coincidental when she put it like that - it didn't sound like something that would corrupt an innocent girl into a monster. Maybe sugar coating it like it was some little thing that 'just happened' was the best way forward. Besides, Marley's 'drama queen' card had already been played so many times, it would be a crime to play it again, wouldn't it?

And all of these questions just kept swirling around in her mind, with no hesitation of thought. Her blue eyes were still burnt out to nothing – they didn't sparkle, didn't glimmer in that mysterious and provocative way. They were just there, blue holes in her face, unfazed. The real panic was shown in her head, screaming for help from her falling but somehow just letting the freefall happen.

Katie had tried to call her and text her countless times after the series of events on Friday, leading to the inevitable burst of emotions that now, Marley regretted more than anything in the world. Marley had only replied with an exhale. She had more important things to do than to provide her friend with fake reassurances. For one, she had to stand in front of the mirror for prolonged amounts of time, hating her ugly, repellent, charmless reflection. Then, her hand would have to be occupied by fiddling relentlessly with Ryder's peony necklace, and the rest was filled with solemn silences in her room as she meandered around and sat on her bed wondering if she would ever be able to un-fuck up the fucked up situation.

Sometimes she would be reminded of something she learnt in freshman year before it all happened: once, in her English Literature class, her teacher began to speak of how one small thing could lead to a thousand big things, and that this could be either terrifying or incredibly optimistic. On one hand, a small stroke of luck, meeting a person or even catching a bus on time could lead to the happiest times of your life. On the other, a small mistake could follow you in your descent down to the gloomiest depths you have ever seen. Then her teacher said that the key to life is to remember that you have a choice to go down either of those paths; that you make those vital decisions yourself, and that you should know the difference between a minor and a major setback. He said that people should not be afraid of this choice that humans have, and that the best way to go by it is to embrace the choice. Marley would think about how falling for Dylan was the small mistake that led her down every wrong path that followed: revenge, the Cheerios, her attitude, every stupid relationship, and then Ryder. Ryder, the ray of hope, the chance to turn her life in the opposite direction and the chance to start again, and what? She blew it. And now, here she was, thinking back to that philosophical lesson in freshman year, and how she thought so little of it back then – if she could just have that lesson again, maybe she would listen harder.

Marley was in the middle of one of her mirror sessions when her mind flicked back to Ryder. It happened as she examined her complexion: loose hanging sweats, hair messily tied up and resembling a bird's nest, and the peony necklace which she hadn't taken off in a very long time. In a way, that necklace provided her with the last remnants of him before everything went so horribly wrong. She thought about the fact that, aside from the whole slut-shaming business, the majority of what went wrong had been all her fault, right from the get-go. She thought about the first time they met, how he stammered out his name and she embarrassed him by splashing an ice-cold beverage in his face. Why did he still go back to her after that? She thought about his face when she admitted that she had slept with Mark after their break up; the way his brown, warming eyes froze and his tensed body swayed in defeat, and the way his features curled into a look of pure disgust. She had never seen his face do that before, and it was her target in life to never make his face do that again. It all seemed ever so hopeless, now that he despised her the way that he did.

That led her thought process to the present, as the brunette then thought about Hunter – this very charming, attractive, funny guy that she had a lot in common with. But he wasn't Ryder, and therefore wasn't what she needed, as she earlier sent the Warbler a very to-the-point but caring "we'd be better as friends" text. When he asked why, for what seemed like the first time in a century, she told the truth; she said that she had too much on her mind and that she wasn't over someone yet. She apologised for dragging him into it. He understood and wished her good luck for Nationals. Strangely, it was the healthiest break-up Marley had ever had; it was bizarre because she expected more turmoil. That seemed to be what everything else in her life was becoming, anyway.

Perhaps she would come to regret ending things with Hunter, but it didn't seem the case – their relationship was just another pawn, tainted by betrayal, just another example of Marley wanting to stir the pot. She hated how often she would do that, without even questioning it.

But just a few miles away, Ryder was doing the same as her. His mind raced back to Friday, when he had followed Marley's tearful footsteps and had consequently heard a full explanation to every mistake she had ever made. He no longer needed to wonder what Marley had meant at Valentine's Day when she spoke of giving too much of herself away for others, as he heard the story of this 'Dylan' boy that had hurt her, and listened in as Marley confessed all of her emotions at once. She spoke of Ryder in a frightened tone, afraid of what was to become of them. She said that he would never take her back, and that made him so upset, because of course he would… wouldn't he? That's when he got confused, and when he began evaluating everything that had gone wrong in their relationship. To a certain extent, Marley was right – there was a majority of her mistakes hidden amongst everything. But perhaps he had fuelled the fire; perhaps he had put her in a difficult situation. Usually, his logic and reason would defeat that stupid idea, because he had only really made one mistake in their relationship and she had made several, but this time it didn't. The idea merely persisted in his brain as he eventually drove his feet away, finally concluding amongst all the foggy thoughts and dreams he was having that he needed to see her. If not for her, for him. For closure.

Occasionally, Marley dreamed of what life would be like after the weekend. She would return to the havoc with Tina, except now the Glee Club's eyes would be filled with pity as they looked upon the cheerleader that they all used to be afraid of. She had broken before their eyes now, and that gave them a podium to stand on; a level greater than that which she was on. Katie would probably keep her distance, afraid of what the brunette was capable of – or their friendship would be tested and she'd tell everyone what Marley had confessed about her past. No, that wasn't right. Katie wasn't like that, was she? Then again, as the girl paced then collapsed on her bed, she recalled that nothing was for certain anymore. Ultimately, she sighed in exhaustion, thinking about the days to come. Nothing good could come of them, and so the cerulean eyed teenager concluded that perhaps therefore nothing good could come from thinking about them. She focused her thoughts again on everything else instead, as they swirled around in her mind, an endless pandemonium.

A knock on the door echoed through the house.

For whatever reason, her heartbeat pumped at a frenzy and she began to feel flustered; panicked. Perhaps it was just her mother coming home from work early and she had forgotten her house key. Or perhaps…

It couldn't be. The last time they had spoken face to face was a horrific argument, and he hated her. How could he not? She broke him into pieces, so it was only right that she was crumbling now, as punishment. They did this too much anyway – turning up at each other's houses just to apologise in some triumphant, heroic way – maybe now it wasn't time to kiss and make up. Maybe it was time for more hatred, or closure. Maybe he needed an excuse to finally move on, and in that case, she needed to do the same. Too much of her time was spent hung up over Ryder Lynn, but the problem still remained: she didn't want to get over him. She would refuse.

The door knocked again and her heartbeat went haywire. Feeling awfully dizzy all of a sudden, she began to take those trembling first steps down the staircase, as her weight acted on it and bellows of creaks propelled into the warm air, seeming impossibly loud, even rude in the situation.

Now just a few steps away from the front door, she could make out his features perfectly through the distorted glass. She shivered, practically feeling the impact he had on her even without that contact. Her lungs became famished of any air and her stomach dropped in fear of him; of herself. Perhaps her dreams were about to come true? Perhaps he was about to give her the chance to turn her life in the opposite direction; the chance to start again, again? She tentatively wrapped her shaking hand around the brass doorknob, and with a swift twist and one final, quivering breath, she opened the door.

Pressing his lips together, lowering his head as his eyes focused on her, he looked like a timid schoolboy who had done a great wrong. To an extent that was true, but mostly his lack of confidence confused Marley and presented a perspective that she didn't expect to see on the other side of the door. It brought her back to when they had first met, the way he looked almost afraid to see her – it was bizarre, seeing as so much had happened since then. But truly, maybe he thought that they needed to go back to the beginning – before everything spiralled into turmoil – to make amends.

He tilted his head back up as Marley slid fully in front of the door, keeping it ajar whilst she impulsively stroked her arms to calm herself down. She had tried to calm down, but she could already tell that Ryder had seen her little quirks that meant she was anxious. He looked down, then flickered her eyes around her before focusing on those eyes which seemed so afraid; so frightened of what was to come. "Listen…" He started, then averted his gaze to the rest of her, not surprised by the fact that she still looked cute as hell even in ruffled, slept-in clothes. His vision swept over her décolletage, where her collarbones were prominent on either side of a small, silver peony, resting on her pale skin. He huffed, not knowing if he should be creeped out or happy. After everything that had happened, why was she still wearing his necklace? That had to mean something, didn't it? But then, why did she still look so afraid if she was still donning the emblem of the trust; the happiness that they had once shared? Every word he had been ready to say to her collapsed and fell into his stomach, as new ones rose to mind and therefore slid through his throat in a quiet but audible, unmistakeably Ryder-like way. "Sometimes I don't get you."

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**What will happen next? All will be confirmed soon (hopefully in the foreseeable future)…**

**Sorry this chapter was a bit on the short side – it's all I've had time to cobble together thus far. Love you all so much and, again, I am very sorry. Please keep reading as your support means the absolute world to me. Thank you for keeping the faith and liking this story. I hope this little chapter has kept you hopeful for the future.**

**Until next time…**

**Beth :-)**


	20. The Setbacks

**Not too late I hope? Here's the next chapter. Also, just an FYI in case the hiatus I took made you confused on the time frame: the events of the last two chapters and this one take place in Early May.**

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He became breathless, baffled by her as the words latched onto the air between them, making him look down in sudden embarrassment. She lifted a questioning eyebrow as a concerned and confused expression etched itself across her face, urging him to continue having thrown her in such a way. After one of the longest, roughest and most awkward silences he had ever taken part in, he continued. "Sometimes I don't understand what's going on with you, and maybe I should begin to understand because the more I think about it, the more I think that it was my fault for us becoming… _this_, because I didn't understand what was going on with you. But you know what I realised? Sometimes I don't get you, but maybe that's okay, because you sometimes don't get… me…. either. And that's a totally normal, human thing. People aren't put on this earth to be 'figured out' or understood entirely – we're this complex, moving, living, breathing thing and we're _so _complex in fact that we can't even understand ourselves most of the time. At least, that's what I feel. It's all very subjective. But… yeah." He sighed, scratching the back of his neck timidly as the density of the conversation remained heavy still. Ryder could feel her eyes on him, and could feel that they were filled with a pain which begged him to continue. He needed to tell her what he really felt, and then she could make an informed conclusion out of it all.

So he persisted with his awkward monologue. "That night in March, I guess I didn't understand myself or you. So I lashed out, and I've already apologised so it's kind of a given but… _later _that night, when you slept with… that guy… you've been saying this whole time that it wasn't a proper, conscious decision. And I didn't believe you for a really, really long time because I was blinded by all of the awful images in my head and I was, like, so blinded by the idea of what you'd done, but then I realised recently: I may never be able to forget what you did, but it's not fair for me to blame you anymore. I put you in that position in the first place. You may have made it worse… but, like everybody else, you're a complex human being with complex emotions and I can't torture you for that when I'm guilty of the same." He gulped, adjusting his glasses uneasily as he saw her shifting slightly, her throat bobbing and her empty eyes casting downwards. Marley would have never imagined that seeing him again would feel so uncomforting. Every day, she would dream of how amazing this would all feel – his forgiveness, his sincere presence in front of her – and how it would be so courteous and perfect and it would feel like a distance had never come between them. But the distance was there, and they both felt it; it made them both wonder if there was even a point in trying to patch things up if things had become so torn, almost to the point of no repair. But in between all of the fogginess, she knew the kind of person that Ryder was: he was an underdog, quiet but outspoken, wanting always to be the hero. It made him happy, and at the end of the day, that was all she wanted too – so she let him continue.

"What you did… it was wrong, yeah. And perhaps a little stupid. But the thing is: I may have felt lost at that point, not knowing what to do at myself and all that… but nothing's really changed since then. I mean, I still feel all of that even though I thought I would be… over you… by now – now I just feel lost for a different reason. Meaning, like… I feel so lost without you, it's… laughable." He risked a grin, biting his lip over it on second thoughts and looking down. Her glance still pierced through him like a dagger. Perhaps that was when it occurred to him that maybe nothing had changed at all – it was more difficult now than it ever had been, but maybe that was just because this was their biggest setback since being a part of one another's lives. Perhaps, in the reality of things, they could fix it. He hoped they could. He hoped she would speak.

And she did, but not in the way that he wanted – or the way that she wanted. "I don't want to get hurt again, Ryder." Marley cooed, truthfully but painfully.

He bowed his head and nodded in understanding. "I know… and I don't want to make any promises because the last time I did that, everything pretty much turned to shit right after, didn't it?"

To his confusion, the brunette let out a small giggle. "Yeah, I guess it did." She bit her lip, setting her eyes back up to look into him as a tiny glimmer appeared visible in them for a short moment. She had no idea why that was so funny to her, as the situation was so serious, but for whatever reason, she had learnt to find even the littlest bit of humour behind it all: once the promise ring was introduced, they managed to break every promise they had kept for so long beforehand. As Ryder looked at her with revivified but confused eyes, she cast her head back down, thinking of what to say next. She looked back up at him after a silence filled the air around them. "It wasn't your fault, you know. I shouldn't have just expected you to bite your tongue for that long. I've… been the one who's… been an idiot this whole time. I should never have done anything that I did. I created this… shitty distance between us." She had already said all of these things to him before, but this time they weren't panicked or used as a way to win an argument. They were words that came out a different way somehow, and gave him comfort rather than disgust. So he nodded, and she couldn't be offended by him agreeing. This wasn't a "no, after you", "no, _I'm _sorry" situation – this was real life.

He nibbled at his lower lip, processing everything that had happened between them and contemplating which the best way forward was now. He looked into her eyes – those frightened but relieved pools of sapphire – and spoke sincerely to her. "You can run and hide if you want, and I'll understand – God knows we both screwed up a lot already – but I'm willing to try this again, 'cause… I can't risk just doing nothing. That would, like, suck. And I know we've both been through hell to get to this point, but… I'm not really a fan of us screwing things up, if I'm honest. So I want to be done with all of that. It's such a waste of time, Mar. The last thing I want to do right now is waste time with you."

The corners of her mouth raised into a slight smile. "And I know how precious time is to you."

Ryder reciprocated her expression. "Yeah…"

And their greatest enemy – silence – butted into the conversation once more as a stronger gust of wind blew past them, triggering Marley to cradle her forearms with a tighter grasp. The whistling air around her gave her the urge to speak freely. "This is harder than I thought it would be…"

"It really is…" Ryder agreed almost immediately, to Marley's surprise. "Is there any way we can make it easier?"

She thought about that for a while, then bit her lip nervously. "The weather's against us anyway, and I'm cold, why don't you come inside?"

"Um… okay, sure." He decided, and followed her in.

Her room was considerably different to how he had remembered it last. What was a neatly made bed and spotless surroundings had altered to become a messy bedroom, and Ryder knew the reason behind that – she couldn't find the motivation or courage to clean it when everything else was turmoil in her life. He understood that completely. Marley bit her lip once more, cringing as he walked in. "Sorry, it's not in the best state at the moment…"

"Don't be sorry." He smiled sadly, wandering in as he noticed the trash can – littered with tiny, torn up pieces of paper. He lowered his head. Another one of Marley's habits. He would notice that whenever she was extremely anxious – such as before a test – she would get a post–it note or an old piece of paper that wasn't needed and rip it to shreds just so she would have something to do with her hands; she wouldn't stop until the paper practically looked like couscous or until it wasn't physically possible for another rip to be made. From the trash can, he could draw the conclusion that she had been doing it a lot. It made him sick with guilt.

Marley wrapped herself further in her sweater and closed her door behind them, shuddering as she recalled the last time he was in her room – the day when she cried the hardest she ever had… until recently, with Katie in the women's bathroom. She shuddered again, squeezing her eyes shut at the thoughts. Ryder noticed as his face drooped at how uncomfortable she looked. Had he caused all of this? "Are you okay?"

Marley opened her eyes, then sighed and bobbed her head in a nod. "Yeah, thanks."

But he knew she wasn't, because now he knew everything in such better depth. He knew about Dylan, and how despair drove her to do stupid things, and that the only person who she despised more than anyone in the world was herself. And yet, there was this distance between them – a distance that he so badly wanted to kick and punch and be vituperative towards until it burst and turned to nothing. Marley ghosted her thin, pale fingers over her lips, observing with frail eyes as he took a few steps in her direction until he was perfect distance to embrace her. She looked at him with questioning eyes at first, until he wrapped his arms around her waist and bowed his head down to her shoulder – then, she sighed into his shirt and felt herself relax as she wound her arms around his back, her head tucking into his neck slightly as she breathed steadily at last. It was long before Marley had the courage to break the hug with questioning eyes.

He breathed through his nose, looking at her. "You're allowed not to be okay all the time, Marley. And I know that you aren't."

She shrunk and lowered her head, scolding herself for not knowing that he could read her like a book even now. She bit her lip once more. "I know, but…"

"You don't have to tell me anything." Ryder clarified, but with guilt and pity as he now understood the truth behind it all. He sighed once more before continuing. "I want to talk to you about it, though."

She raised an eyebrow as her eyes became panicked with misunderstanding. Her voice remained thin. "What?"

Ryder decided to familiarise himself with the feeling of her hands, so took them in his as he led her to the bed and took a seat with her, her expression not faltering once. He took a deep breath, preparing himself for what her reaction would be. "I know about what happened to you in freshman year."

The brunette drew up a short breath, looking into his eyes for a second as hers became glossy at his words. She looked down. "I… I don't understand-"

"After you stormed out on Friday and Katie followed you to the bathroom, everything went crazy in the choir room. Someone called out Tina, and then a few more did, and then some people argued on her side, and I just sat there not knowing what to do and the only thing that kept going round and round in my head was how you were. So I got up – no one really noticed – and I followed you two. Maybe I shouldn't have, but I was still really confused about what my feelings for you actually were and I wanted to figure you out… I'm sorry."

Marley didn't say anything out of fear of what he was saying to her; she could imagine what he thought of her now: naïve, helpless, stupid, foolish, charmless, slutty, repellent. What he had done didn't faze her – what shook her was the idea of him judging her, now that he knew about everything that had happened. "Don't be. I'm kind of glad you know now… it means I don't have to tell you and relive it all over again." She chuckled humourlessly with her quiet, frail voice. "To be honest… I'm just even more confused as to why you're here."

Now it was his turn to be muddled. "What do you mean?"

"You know why I am the way I am now, right? You know that I'm fucked up, and that I'm weak and stupid and naïve, and I've just… like… _used_ everyone, apart from you. So why are you here?" She spoke, disgusted in herself as her voice began to quiver, looking him in the eyes.

He sighed and clasped his hands over hers. "Why would I ever think that?"

She looked down at their hands, and how he caressed hers with his thumb, everything clicking and muddling in her mind all at once. "But… why are you here then? Because you pity me, or…?"

"No, no of course not. I guess I'm here just 'cause I'm selfish sometimes and I realised that without you my life sucks a lot, and now that I know more about you than ever I thought we could try again. I would never come for those reasons, Marley. Never, I swear." He pleaded his case.

She bit her lip again, then withdrew a shattered inhale. "Sorry, I…" Gulping once, she told him the sincere truth. "I just don't understand why you're always so nice to me when I've never really reciprocated, is all."

Ryder sank down visibly at how little she saw in herself; how much she expected him to see gaining this information as a way of attacking her. He breathed steadily and shuffled a tiny bit closer to her. "How can you even think-? Mar, I wanted to tell you… to tell you that I was sorry that something like that ever happened to you. I don't think that you're weak or stupid, or any of those things. I think you're incredibly strong for bouncing back in the way you did and not letting it affect you for a long, long time. Although using people and burrowing down those memories; not telling anyone, wasn't really the best way to go around it, the fact that you carried on after something like that is… amazing, really." She lifted her head up, amazed at his words of overwhelming support and puzzled as to why he wasn't freaking out, now that he knew all of what had happened. "And it's such an awful thing that happened, and you should never sweep something like that under the rug or feel embarrassed because of it, you need to talk about it to move on from it. So I wanted to be here for you and be the person that you talk to about your worries, because I want to be better at it. The thing that failed last time is that we had problems, but the lack of communication just made them worse. Don't you agree?" Marley sniffed, then flicked her eyes up to look at his in an unspoken agreement. "And so, I really want to be here for you, better. And more often. And now I want to learn from the mistakes we've made instead of getting hung up on them."

The brunette sniffed as the life slowly flowed back into her eyes. "Me too." She smiled for a second, looking up at the man who, until a few weeks ago, she hated. The thought of their distance (that was still somewhat there) made her feel sick to her stomach now, and she so desperately wanted to get rid of it. As her face bowed and one of Ryder's hands rose to caress it uncertainly, she assumed that he wanted the same. He kissed her forehead. She tried not to let her hitched breathing show, but it was hopeless as all of the emotions she had towards him rose like a phoenix, travelling further and further upwards until she sighed into his shirt and wound her arms back to where they had been so many times before. She thought it a crime to keep the distance between them there now, and she wanted it so badly to be gone. For this reason and everything else, as she felt Ryder's lips leave her forehead, the brunette rose her face to the level of his and brushed their noses against each other, closing her eyes and resting them at last as the boy before her continued to caress her cheek with his thumb. As she made that final, short movement and met him halfway, she remembered how effortless all of it was with him, and how even though they needed to get past a huge barrier to get to this point, it was so much easier than doing nothing at all. All of a sudden, everything felt so familiar when before it was as if nothing would ever be the same. Her hands twisted upwards to his hair as she pulled away for air, before going back for a second kiss. After that, she leant her forehead against his and looked down at the space between their chests, the whole experience finally transitioning from fretful to therapeutic.

But it only lasted so long as she considered the aftermath. "What about the future and stuff?"

It seemed that Ryder had a prepared response, and had been considering this for a long time. "I was stupid. We still have the summer, don't we? And when the time to leave does come, in spite of everything else, I'd rather have a distance of eight hundred miles between us and still feel really close to you."

She grinned. "You know… for the longest time I thought you'd changed too much for me to even recognise you, but I was totally wrong. You're still a dork." Once again, Ryder reciprocated her expression and drew her closer to him for a moment. Somewhat precariously, afraid of getting into the same trap they always did but wanting to just leap inside his arms at the same time, Marley pulled herself away from him fully as his body warmth soon left her. There was a silence for a few seconds, as Ryder saw Marley hug herself slightly on impact of the new cold. She looked like she was debating with herself, before she looked back up at him. Her eyes softened. "Do you trust me? I mean… do you think you'll ever be able to trust me again?"

The chestnut-eyed boy sighed and grasped onto her hands. "What happened did leave me uncertain for a long time, but…" He looked into her eyes – hopeful, gleaming sapphires – and knew that he couldn't disappoint them again. Perhaps he shouldn't have lied, but what could he have said? He couldn't have told her that he was scared that she'd do something like that again… but maybe, after what had happened, she wouldn't. So, perhaps it was only a small bit of a lie. In fact, it was. It was a borderline truth. "I do. I trust you."

The smile and kiss that followed confirmed that he had made the right choice.

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**Yay, Ryley's back on! Hopefully nothing bad will happen to them from here on out… only I know…**

**Thanks for reading, my beautiful readers! Until next time,**

**-Beth :-)**


	21. The Buried Hatchet

**Sorry this was late again, blame school 100%! Also give me a heads up in the review section if you are still reading – even if you don't have an account you can still review as a guest! I feel like no one reads Ryley fanfiction anymore and I'm the only one persevering… I have some great ideas though, and would love for this story to be my swan song, as it would be such a shame to give up now after so long – more than two years, can you believe it?**

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She smiled the kind of smile which told a story of happy exhaustion. Exhaustion nonetheless, but filled with a sort of relief around it, consequently spreading to her features and initiating a sudden outburst of a grin which remained thankfully unnoticed by others for several minutes. She looked down bashfully, trying desperately to write a sentence that would make even a little bit of sense. How could she focus in class when she was subdued by such happy exhaustion?

Finally, the exaggerated grin on her face became noticed by the person who sat next to her, who was looking, typically, as though she couldn't care less about the class taking place, before glancing over to her colleague, who looked far giddier than usual. Lana rolled her eyes and reclined in her seat, crossing her arms as she furrowed perfectly formed brows at her fellow brunette cheerleader. "Mar, get your head out of the gutter. It's really hard to be happy for you when you're so annoyingly happy yourself."

"Aw, well aren't you supportive?" Marley giggled sarcastically at her friend, lifting her body up and reclining in her chair, mirroring her friend's movements. "I never said you had to be happy for me, you know. You just have to… not…"

"…Not say "I told you so"?" Lana smirked, reaching up to grab a strand of her dark hair and twirl it around her finger. "I told you that you'd become a sap. Look at you! You're so smitten over this guy that broke your heart that you ended up breaking his. So you broke up, and now you're back together and _I told you so_."

"I'm not a sap," Marley started, defending herself. "I'm compassionate, that's all. And he's-"

"Ugh, don't even start. I don't want to hear the end of that sentence. Whatever gooey, lovey-dovey thing you're about to say about Four Eyes, just… keep it PG, alright?"

Marley found herself tickled by that comment. "Keep it PG? Coming from _you_?"

Lana chuckled, placing the strand of hair back with the others, secured in its usual high ponytail. "Look – we're Cheerios, we've all been there. I mean, _you_'ve been there! Well, before you went off with that-"

"You know what? I think someone's jealous…" Marley sneered, giving up on any classwork and doodling flowers on her piece of lined paper.

Lana guffawed. "_Jealous_? Of what?"

"I think you're jealous that I've finally settled down with someone and you're still hitting and quitting…" Marley bit her lip, cringing at what sentence her friend might follow up with but feeling a strange sense of confidence as she embarked on this teasing conversation.

"You think you two are settled down? Sorry Mar, but from an outsider's view, you two are still on the same bumpy rollercoaster, like always. The length of time you and Ryder have been together doesn't justify the sturdiness of your relationship. Even after almost a year of dating, you two have been so 'off-again on-again' that you're not even allowed to use the term "settling down". Sorry." Lana chuckled, smirking and taking delight in Marley's face, which was growing increasingly red as her brows knitted together.

Eventually, she caved in. "Okay, you're right. Things haven't exactly been easy but… I've persevered, haven't I? I mean, that should at least count for something…"

Lana bit her lip, looking down and sighing, knowing that maybe despite the humour of their conversation, she _had_ hit a nerve in her friend. Perhaps everything wasn't all peaches and cream with Ryder like she had made it out to be. "Yeah, I guess it does. I'm sorry, I just- find it hard to believe that you're still interested in a guy like that. It's just… not how the brains of people who wear that uniform work." She chuckled.

"I know, it's not conventional." Marley laughed with her, then breathed in as she debated which path to go down for her next sentence. "He's just… the first guy that has shown genuine care for me. You don't really get that with jocks or other Neanderthals that roam these halls. They're just confusing. He isn't. But at the same time, he's not simple or stupid, or oblivious. It's… it's hard to explain, I guess."

Her friend nodded, pressing her lips together. "So, forgive me if I'm being stupid but… aren't things awkward between you two? Or have you worked everything out?"

Marley nibbled on her bottom lip out of sudden unease, tapping her pen on the notepad in front of her and becoming further upright. "I mean, things aren't as fun as they were before, but… maybe that's okay. I mean, we were in the honeymoon phase for far too long. Maybe it was time for things to get harder and more serious."

Lana huffed, looking at Marley as she played with her uniform skirt anxiously; all of a sudden, things didn't seem so care-free and easy. She wondered if it was at the sacrifice of something greater. "Can I tell you the truth?"

Marley smiled against her frown, still casting her gaze downwards. "You're going to either way, aren't you?"

The dark-haired girl smiled bashfully, admiring how well the brunette knew her. She dared to face those cerulean eyes but they did not dare to face her, and she sighed. "Your relationship should still be fun, because otherwise what's the point? Obviously it can't _just _be fun and you need seriousness to balance it all out when you've been together for so long, but at the end of the day you're still a teenager. Hell, even if you're 70 your relationship should still be fun!" She bit her lip, thinking about what more she could pass on and, eventually, she continued. "At this stage in your life, you have so much serious crap going on about college and the future and stuff that you can't afford to have your love life sending you into a nervous breakdown as well. You need him to be your anchor throughout everything, now more than ever, and I'm certain he needs you to be the same. The only way your relationship is going to work _now_, is if you can trust each other, and you can still have fun even with everything else in your life going on. It's so important that you get that relief."

Marley sighed, eventually looking up into the set of grey eyes which seemed to care more about her than she had first recognised. "For someone who is notorious for being so hard-to-get in the world of relationships, and with the reputation you've made yourself, that was some pretty damn good advice." She smiled, grateful – despite her mocking – of her friend's support.

Lana sneered. "Any time, Rose."

In all truth, Marley did still worry about the maintenance their relationship would need, but as she reminisced about the events of the weekend, she couldn't even consider the idea of things not working out. This time, she knew that any obstacle competing against them could be dealt with if necessary, because they had both learnt from their mistakes this time around. Things had been slightly awkward at first, but once they had decided that this was how things were going to be; that they would do everything in their power to not make this a catastrophe, they allowed themselves to become accustomed to the other person again. Starting the day miles apart, they had grown closer and closer as they familiarised themselves with the joyful irrationality of it all, until eventually Marley sat on Ryder's lap and they taught themselves how to laugh with each other again. Ryder caressed her waist as Marley told him he was worth a great deal to her. A weight had been lifted. For a while, it felt like nothing had come between them.

But something had, and this fact made itself apparent when Marley realised just how much she had missed out in his life. For one, Ryder revealed that a week ago, he was offered a place at Yale, surprising and overwhelming the brunette with this new information. Naturally, a flood of tight hugs and chaste kisses along with a chorus of "I'm so proud of you" followed his announcement, almost overpowering Ryder with how happy the girl in front of him was for his successes. Soon, though, once the excitement had died down, Marley began feeling embarrassed when the inevitable question finally appeared:_ "So, what about you?"_

She hadn't heard back from Kentucky State yet, with no help or information at all from her controversial coach. Ryder was just about to bestow a comment probably laced with unnecessary pity on her, but Marley didn't want that at the moment. She didn't need any more false hope than she already had. Instead, she butted in before him and turned the situation around herself, announcing that she was going to have a cheer audition with Kentucky in 2 weeks and that some of her hard work had paid off at least, as Sue had finally made her joint head cheerleader with Bree. Although Ryder was happy for her and her reclaimed role, Marley could sense the nervousness in his tone, and his fear that she would return to the way that she was before him; that she would sleaze around, or be foolish again. Almost instantly, she was assuring him that it wouldn't change anything, and that she would make an effort to go to less parties and bring him to the ones she would attend, in order to connect with him and prep him for the college mixers he would inevitably face at Yale. Marley wanted to make it clear that she would still remain loyal to him, and Ryder seemed more relaxed after that promise of monogamy.

She just hoped that one day, she would be able to feel his support again; feel that he trusted her completely and unconditionally. But who was she to become aggravated at him when it was her that caused this lack of faith to begin with?

After what seemed like years, the bell finally rang for the end of the day, and so, with a final nod and a look of thanks to her Cheerio friend, the sapphire-eyed girl hustled out of Spanish and found herself in the busy hallways of McKinley. She had only paced a few steps when she found herself faced with a sickeningly familiar complexion, walking towards her. Immediately, she pivoted and twisted her footsteps in the opposite direction – it was no use as Tina stopped her in her tracks.

"Please! I know this is weird, I just need you to hear me out, okay?" The girl begged.

Marley turned to face her with a titanium expression. "Fine. You have two minutes to tell me what the hell you are doing."

Tina visibly fought the urge to roll her eyes before sighing and looking at Marley sincerely, yet somehow awkwardly. Marley wondered if someone had forced Tina to do this, as she prepared herself for some sort of strange apology.

She wasn't that far off. "Listen… I think I can understand that last week, I went too far. I can't exactly understand your ability to power through every guy at this school," Marley winced at her wording, "but it was wrong for me to call you out on that in _that way_. I'm sorry."

Marley sighed, lifting an eyebrow quizzically. "You're _sorry_? Yeah, that doesn't sound like you. Don't really think I can believe it, but thanks for the gesture. Bye."

Before she could move away from Tina, the smaller girl forced her back into her spot and grew frustrated for a short while. "God, can you just stay here for a few more seconds and understand that I am trying my hardest to be nice to you? Jesus..." She composed herself, before continuing as Marley maintained her questioning expression. "Look. We both don't like each other, and nothing will change that, no matter what Mr Schue wants us to think. But life is way too short, and honestly, I don't care about keeping this going anymore. Even though we'll never be friends, I want us to grow up and at least try and tolerate each other. I know you want that too. So… can we?" Without further ado, the brown-eyed girl was holding out her hand firmly, looking up at her colleague with hopeful eyes. Eventually, Marley caved and shook her hand.

"Sure."

Walking away from the debacle, Marley felt a wave of relief. Although the strife that she had felt while battling Tina would never be forgotten, he felt pride in her recent abilities to step back; to not lash out on her physically and to deal with her anger mostly by herself. That was a big achievement for her, as she revelled in the glory of growing. She decided, as she kept walking through the crowds of students, that she had Ryder to thank for that. If he hadn't stepped in to save her from lashing out so many times – both physically and mentally – on others, perhaps she would be in a completely different position. Despite current affairs, he calmed her; reassured her that she was worth so much more. Only now did she begin to believe that.

Approaching her locker, she witnessed the inevitable view: Ryder stood, burrowed in his locker which was positioned opposite hers, collecting and returning books to their rightful place. That magnificently ridiculous smile returned to her face, transforming into a bashful smirk as Ryder noticed her at last, watching as she teasingly turned sharply to her own locker instead of greeting him first. Now that the crowd had died down rapidly, he decided to take that matter into his own hands as he navigated over to the other side of the hallway. Within seconds, Marley felt hands wrap around her waist from behind, and felt herself being turned around to face him. She giggled, leaning against her now-opened locker.

"I saw you speaking to Tina on my way over here – what happened?" Ryder asked in his consistent concern as Marley placed her hands on his forearms.

"It's fine, actually. We just… talked for a minute and she apologised. I guess we're cool now." The brunette declared, gazing into the distance, into Ryder's newly-abandoned locker, with tired eyes. It had been a taxing day.

"I'm glad you two could sort things out." Ryder smiled, snapping Marley back into the conversation and causing her to move her hands up and down his forearms as she began to match his expression.

"Yeah, me too." She beamed, then looked down and adjusted her look to become more cunning and mysterious. "So… Lacey's parents are out of town on Saturday and she's having another gathering, and I was wondering if… you maybe… wanted to go with me? I was just wondering, like… I know it's stupid seeing as you're not a fan of things like that, but I thought it would be fun for us to go out together, and it would be cute, don't you think?" She trailed off, beginning to mumble – she could already tell, from the slight wince on her boyfriend's face, what his opinion would be.

"I'm sure it would be, but… I was kind of hoping that we could spend Saturday together," Ryder spoke timidly and, before Marley could suggest something else that would get him on the guest list of a party, specified his idea: "alone." Marley raised an eyebrow at his suggestion. "Like… we could go and see a movie, or have dinner, or go to the park or something. And I promise that I would make it so unbelievably soppy and cheesy and romantic that you will feel like you're in a rom-com from the eighties." He smirked, making her giggle as he grew in confidence as a result.

Marley considered his offer and knew that she was being foolish for offering her suggestion so soon, knowing he wouldn't be comfortable with it. Deciding that she couldn't let him down and knowing he'd feel much better if she waited a few weeks before getting into the swing of parties again, she grinned. "You promise?"

The boy before her sneered, knowing that he had won this round. "If it's the last thing I do."

Marley sighed teasingly. "Okay, I suppose we could do that instead." She smiled at him, deciding to clearly reprimand her own opinion. "Yeah, I guess my idea was stupid anyways, yours sounds way better."

"It wasn't stupid… I just want to make up for lost time with you, and I feel like at a party we'd just be constantly worrying about what other people think, right?" Ryder asked, lacing in the concerned tone that was seemingly a part of him now.

Marley sighed, defeated, but decided to slap a smile on her face to make up for her losses. "Yeah, you're right."

"Cool. Anyway, I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow?" Ryder questioned, securing his arms around her waist still.

"Of course." Marley grinned genuinely, watching as Ryder peered around to see if anyone was watching them, then bowing down slightly as Marley sensed his actions and leaned up to meet his lips for a tender kiss, protected from ridiculing as they hid behind the open door of her locker. Pulling away after a few seconds, the brunette smiled bashfully as her boyfriend justified the kiss with a second peck, thus letting herself forget their previous conversation; praising the things he could do to her.

"See you tomorrow." He breathed serenely, breaking away again and unwillingly removing his hands from her waist. He picked up his school bag and began to venture through the halls.

Marley sighed as her heartbeat reluctantly returned to a normal pace, with Lana's advice, Ryder's desire to compromise her date plans and the events of the day finally making her unequivocally flustered. "Yeah…" She huffed, even though he was far down the hallway by now. "See you tomorrow."

* * *

**Yay! I guess you could say that Tina and Marley have BURIED THE HATCHET… I wonder where I got the name of this chapter from…**

**Had a few hints in this chapter as to what will happen next… if you can spot them, that's a different story ;) Let me know if you have guesses for upcoming chapters!**

**Hopefully I won't be **_**as late **_**with my next update****but I can't make any promises, unfortunately. I hope to be back soon, though!**

**Also, I hope you're all watching Supergirl because I certainly am ;) For more tweets, rants and spasms about Melissa and Blake (mostly Melissa lol), check out my twitter jennoists!**

**Finally, I would like to dedicate this chapter to the people of Paris; to the deceased, the friends and family of those affected, and anyone who is wanting a change in the world. Please remember to keep the faith; remember that only humans can shape humanity and it is up to us to stop these awful attacks and, fundamentally, remember that terrorism has no religion. Thank you.**

**-Beth :-)**


	22. The Trust

**Just for extra added geekiness, this chapter takes place in the week commencing 18****th**** May 2015. You're welcome.**

* * *

It was one week later when Marley had an epiphany. It seemed, as the seven days passed by, that they dragged on – as if every hour was reluctant to pass, clinging to every second, snail-pacing their way through to the next one, and the next one, and the next one. It drove her insane. Just a few days prior, unknowingly, Lana seemed to have predicted Marley's exact future – she felt the days and nights tread slowly on, all within the company of Ryder, who had seemed before to make them sprint. Something wasn't right.

Of course, it was all still pleasant, and every kiss still gave her a fluttering sensation – which is why it was so hard for the girl to put her finger on what _had _changed. Seemingly, their relationship was just like it always had been, so why was the change so outspokenly prominent? And why now did she feel suffocated in the presence of it? And fundamentally, what _was _it?

Somehow, everything else in her life was heightening in the worst way possible. She was exhausted, she constantly had something to do and, without a moment's rest, she accepted that she should have listened to Lana's words the second they had come out of her mouth. Everything seemed chaotic, and perhaps all she needed to make things seem controlled was her love life, anchoring everything down to where they belonged. Maybe that's what she had now, and that's what made it seem monotonous – perhaps the fact that she and Ryder had been so contrastingly steady when everything else wreaked havoc made their relationship seem abnormal. On the other hand, maybe that was the problem: no excitement with him, no excitement anywhere else, and their current situation as a result of it all. All she wanted was an adventure; something out of their comfort zone; something out of the ordinary to sink her teeth into. Why hadn't she found that yet?

Something led her to think that he felt it too. Ryder would cast his eyes to the side for milliseconds, clear his throat before moving onto a new topic, and grip her waist both in desperation to find something new and to ensure she was still engaged in him. He desperately clung onto her some days, and on others, he seemed lost in it all instead.

And so, here they were on a Monday afternoon (the two had a surprisingly sparse amount of work that evening, so decided to make a date out of it), cuddling on Marley's bed in front of her laptop, which was projecting an episode of _Friends_ on Netflix. Granted, it wasn't the most exciting date to begin with… but at least it was something, after months before where the two hadn't even spoken to each other. Then again, the two hadn't really spoken that day much at all, and now a laptop screen robbed them of speech. That was acceptable, but what had robbed them of speech earlier? Nothing? The brunette felt a pair of softening brown eyes on her for several seconds as she tried her hardest to focus on the sitcom rather than the mud-brown gaze seemingly drilling into her. Eventually, it became unbearable, and she turned to face him with questioning eyes. Sharp reflexes aided him in turning away the minute he saw her face turning to meet his. Marley's eyes questioned further. Eventually, she mirrored his actions from seconds ago and turned away abruptly, instead casting her gaze down to his hand on her torso – not stroking or rubbing warmly like it always did, just deadly still. Stone fingers sculpted around the inward curve of her waist. She considered moving into him more, trying to get something started by kissing him on the cheek, or the ear, or the neck, but something made her, too, turn to stone.

Why was this so hard?

Being the person she was, Marley wouldn't allow them to settle in their current state; allow them to carry on like this. She wasn't prepared to waste another shot with this man who was so captivating to her and, with a tremendously miniscule sigh, she leaned forward and hit the pause button, freezing the characters on the screen. It was time for Ryder's eyes to question, and she turned to answer them. "Ryder."

His throat bobbed in fear of the events about to take place. "What?"

The concern in his voice made her begin to have second thoughts, but as his hand on her waist remained stone and his eyes scanned her face for answers, she decided to continue, contemplating her next words. "Okay, I need to… how should I…. Okay." She took a deep breath. "Something has changed since the last time around, Ry, I mean… can't you feel it?"

He gulped, leaning out of his reclining position. "I… what do you mean?"

Marley sucked in a breath through her nostrils. "I mean: something has changed between us. And it's not just because we're busy, because that didn't stop us before. And I'm well aware that it might be what happened – you know – what I did, but… something tells me it isn't. Don't you feel like this time… it's different?"

"I… guess…?" Ryder's eyebrows interweaved. "But it's not a big deal… I thought it was just normal to feel like this after we've been together for so long… right?"

"I thought so too, but," Marley cast her eyes down to look at his stone hands. "Something about this doesn't feel "_just normal_"."

Ryder nodded in agreement, though he still felt he couldn't put his finger on what was happening. "What can we do?"

"I have no idea." Marley groaned, whining and laughing at the ridiculously hard situation. "I mean, what _can _we do when we don't know what it is that's wrong?"

"I mean… we're _talking _about it…?" The boy bit his lip, something in his conscience telling him that wasn't the answer to their problems at all.

"I guess… but it doesn't- ugh, I don't know…" It seemed that a silence filled the gap when they weren't talking, prolonging the time excruciatingly and giving the couple time to think. Eventually, after what felt like decades (as everything did now), Marley spoke in saddening realisation. "I know what it is."

Ryder sat up and crossed his legs, loosening his hands on Marley's waist considerably. "What?"

She looked up at him, sinking her shoulders and slouching even further than she already was. "Our relationship isn't fun anymore."

Ryder nodded slowly, understanding that completely but now fearing for what was to come out of this realisation. "But how? I mean, we can fix it…?"

"Yeah, of course we can fix it." Marley brushed off, rubbing her forehead and looking down again, pursing her lips as she finally made the all-important epiphany. Her voice cracked at her realisation, angry at herself rather than angry at him; disappointed. She dared to look into his eyes. "It's because you don't trust me."

Ryder narrowed his eyes. "What? Mar, that's insane-"

"Is it?" Marley's face remained still, looking into him with piercing doe eyes.

The boy wetted his lips and turned his eyes to his surroundings. "Of course! Of course- of course I trust you. Why wouldn't I? You're my girlfriend, if I don't trust you then what's the point, right?"

"Right." Marley attempted not to snap that word, for she didn't want to get herself into a mess; the only person she was mad at was herself. She sighed, hushing her tone. "Babe… I _know_ you don't trust me. And I get it. I wouldn't trust me either-"

"Marley-" He tried to deny it further, but something told him it was no use as his girlfriend interrupted.

"Please, just hear me out. I'm not mad, I promise." She begged, looking at him, then shying away as she tucked a stray hair behind one of her ears. "You said it yourself, Ry. If you can't trust me, I get it, but… you need to try. Otherwise, that's just it for us. The only way that our relationship is gonna work is if we can trust each other." She sighed, basking in the feeling of her raw emotions exposed to him after a week of concealment. "So… can you?"

"I…" he started, raking his hand through his increasingly-dishevelled hair. "I want to, Mar. I want to so, so badly, but… there's still a part of me that worries that this won't work out like it always does, or that I'll get jealous again, or that I'll make you do something stupid…"

Marley nodded with unintentionally glossy eyes – knowing that he didn't trust her was one thing, but hearing him confess was another. "I totally understand."

The boy's heart thumped to herculean extent of guilt. "You… you do?"

"Sure I do." She breathed, sitting upright as her hands settled in her lap, playing with her fingernails. "I mean, it isn't your fault that you can't trust me, is it? So of course I understand. I mean, I blame myself for what happened completely, and you not trusting me is just another consequence of me being an idiot. As long as we can work past it eventually… you know…" She bit her lip, clearly reprimanding herself for their combined loss of faith.

"We will." Ryder confirmed without a second thought, not even considering the other options. "I want to trust you more than anything in the world. And I'm trying. It's just-"

"Hard, I know." Marley finished his sentence, looking up and giving him the opportunity to scan her features, beautiful as they ever were, but seemingly aged and worn as her eyes recovered from their glossy spell.

He smiled at her sadly. "I'm sorry."

"Baby, it isn't your fault…" She instantly objected, reciprocating his expression.

His smile stretched wider as he lifted an eyebrow. "And that means I'm not allowed to be sorry?" He delighted the way her eyes closed slightly as she smiled bigger, and reclined against her bedframe. "Come here."

Marley gladly obliged, shuffling over until he enveloped her in a comfortable embrace, breathing small, relaxed breaths into her hair as she did the same into his chest. It had been a long time coming, but for once, everything seemed peaceful. She tilted her head up slightly and grinned into his shoulder. "I love you."

Leaning down slightly and capturing her lips in a short, tender peck, he smiled as he watched her readjust herself so that their heads were level with each other. "I love you too." Nudging her forehead against his, they remained still, content in each other's company – until Ryder's mouth curled into a mischievous grin. "What time is it?"

The cerulean-eyed teenager leaned up off Ryder to reach over to her phone, on the bedside table next to them. "Almost 5:15, why?" The boy's sneer grew impossibly wider. "Ryder…?"

"You want our relationship to be more fun?" He grabbed her waist and moved her off him, getting up from the bed and collecting his wallet, which was lying around. "Come on."

She giggled, propping her head up against one of the pillows. "What are you up to?"

"I'm being spontaneous and awesome." He dismissed, putting on his shoes. "Come on, get up."

"Ryder, where are we going?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Why so many questions?" He retorted, eventually taking her hands and dragging her off the bed into a standing position.

"I'm not letting you drag me over Lima without knowing what my reward is." She smirked.

Finally, Ryder caved with a sigh. "The thrill of surprise really is dead, isn't it? Well… I thought we could go to the mall, or into town, just walk around like we did last summer. And we could get frozen yogurt or ice cream or something, or those cinnamon sugar soft pretzels that you love so much? Come on, let's go." He waited for her to finish tying her shoelace, and then, with Marley still donned in her uniform and with a cardigan grabbed each, they headed out the door.

* * *

An hour had passed since then, and those 60 minutes led the couple to the mall nearby, with their hands intertwined in one of Ryder's fleece pockets. Marley took the last mouthful of her and Ryder's large soft pretzel, granted such a mouthful with the consent of Ryder, as they strolled calmly and slowly, laughing together like they used to before things got in the way. The brunette yawned and scrunched up the napkin, having finished her mouthful. She leaned her head on the boy's shoulder, taking in the serene scene, closing her eyes and trusting him whole-heartedly to lead her through the mall. "Thank you for this." She giggled. "You're definitely allowed to be spontaneous and awesome more often."

"Well, I mean, it's a gift really." Ryder shrugged as his girlfriend lifted her head off his shoulder, looking at him curiously but warmly.

She chuckled again. "You're a dork."

"Also a gift of mine..." He agreed with her. He sighed and faced her, walking backwards as she walked forwards, holding both of her hands as he focused on not tripping up. "Come on, Rose. Let's get you home."

"No…" she whimpered. "Please, it's not closed yet – can't we just stay a little while longer? Please?"

"What, I've had to drag you off your bed to get you here and now I have to drag you back?" The boy laughed, making her giggle tiredly in response. "Come on."

"Okay, Okay, fine. You have permission to drag me back- ow!" It seems he had playfully tapped her on the arm vituperatively, causing the brunette to laugh as Ryder returned to her side. She settled her hand in his pocket once more.

And so the two walked again, nearing the exit and Ryder's car as they continued to pace onwards. Ryder looked over to his girlfriend, smiling lovingly at her as she wrapped her other hand around his arm and leaned her head on his shoulder. Truthfully, she looked shattered beyond belief – her head and eyes drooped and she swayed, like the spring-summer wind that kissed their bodies as they exited the mall and were exposed to the open air. At first, he thought that her look of fatigue was just her sadness of the turmoil in her life when he had reunited with her, but now, two weeks after their reunion, it was more obvious that it was something else. He bit his lip, praying that it was only the Monday blues – that had been her excuse before. "Are you feeling okay?"

Her lips curled into a smile. "I feel perfect."

He laughed at her adorable drowsiness but, ever concerned, he queried further. "You look awfully tired, Mar."

The girl shrugged, lifting her head off her boyfriend's shoulder as she swayed slightly. "I guess I am a little tired. I mean, I think I've just been working a lot more to get everything finished by deadlines recently. Not really a big deal."

Ryder nodded in understanding, leaning down to kiss her forehead – it was an acceptable concept to grasp, seeing as the stress of school had increased in direct correlation to the inescapability of their futures. Even having already been accepted into the college of his dreams, he felt the pressure that the school still backhanded his way. "Yeah…" he bit his lip, worried as ever about her. "Just try and take it easier from here on out, okay? I don't want you making yourself sick."

"I'm not gonna sugar-coat it, Ry, there's not exactly enough hours in the day to start "taking it easy"," the brunette chuckled, then looked at him. "But I _am _liking this whole taking-time-out-to-be-spontaneous thing, actually. We should definitely keep doing this." She grinned, leaning forward as she nibbled at her lower lip, then pressed a soft but passionate kiss to his cheek as they arrived at his car. He agreed instantly.

* * *

Staying after hours, staring into the mirrored wall, alone. Practicing. Mapping out choreography step after step, planning routines, warming herself up amongst the lazy summer afternoon. This, McKinley's dance studio, where she spent hours now that she had been reappointed head of the Cheerios on top of her head choreographer position in Glee. Nationals competitions were rapidly approaching for both and, having been told by Mr Schue and Sue Sylvester that she should start planning, she did just that for hours on end. Exercising her muscles, exercising her brain, vexing both all at once.

Marley had thankfully conquered almost all of her objectives for the session: she had done a quick warm up, planned Glee's group routine, plotted a few Nationals ideas, and was now amending the routine which Coach Sue had given her to adjust before tomorrow. After that, she would collect her thoughts together and head for home, exercising her brain further with copious amounts of work. It wasn't as though it had all piled on top of her suddenly, it just seemed that, as the year was drawing to a close, her peers and teachers grew impatient and demanded more – in all honesty, it was partly her, demanding more of _herself_, too. Every piece in the jigsaw puzzle had multiplied, and now, she appeared to have trouble piecing it all together. The brunette was getting more and more stressed over what her life would become after it all, not helped by the ever-piling school work, the worries of college and the responsibilities weighing down on her shoulders.

And so, here she was: Marley Rose, in the final weeks of her senior year, working late into the evening, mind buzzing as she loses sleep and food, practicing her cheerleading and running on practically nothing. She reminded herself that thinking these crucial weeks would include anything else would be incredibly naïve.

The brunette twirled, spun, jumping and running, plotting the alterations of the routine and fighting against her exhaustion. She vowed to win against it this time, as even Ryder had noticed how heavily her eyes drooped yesterday. Panting, she wiped her head of sweat and paused for a few seconds, hands on hips, feeding the agonising stitch in her abdomen with slow inhales through her nose. She was wasting time, though, and continued to map out the choreography, fighting against her pounding heart as she took it from the top – growing in energy, sucking in a breath or two, persevering.

Persevering until her ears began ringing.

Persevering until her vision began tunnelling.

Overcome with dizziness, Marley managed to save herself with the nearby ballet bar, fumbling for it and, finally, keeping herself up. Eventually gaining the courage to lift one hand off the bar, she clamped sweaty, shaking fingers around her forehead, hoping it would numb the pain she felt there. Instead, it only throbbed more as her body sweated and her dry throat ached for hydration. Breathing heavily, supplying her figure with the oxygen it ached for, she slowly repaired herself and, ultimately, tore herself away from the bar to retrieve her water, sipping pathetically before putting the plastic bottle back down to its initial spot on the floor. Marley sucked in another few breaths as the pain in her abdomen and forehead persisted, now uniting to weaken her. She found herself groaning against the discomfort, almost keeling over again.

"_My migraines never hurt like _this_ before."_

Again, she found herself wasting her time trying to recover, with still so much work to do. She looked at the clock. Almost 6:15pm. At that gain in knowledge of how much she had worked, the cerulean eyed teenager scolded herself, gritting her teeth as she leaned her head and back against the mirrored wall. Why was she finding all of this so immensely difficult? Why was doing what she loved – dancing, exercising – such a task now? Why did her body seem to fail her, now of all times, now that she needed it the most?

Marley twisted her aching body, so that she could look at herself in the mirror, placing two clammy palms delicately on the reflecting glass before her. There was no denying that she looked a mess –pale skin glistening with sweat, swollen lips, sunken sapphires for eyes, dark circles denting her face underneath them. Evidently, her exhaustion had embedded itself in her skin, as she drooped even as she tried to stand up straight. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to refresh them, to no use as the whites remained bloodshot. She was disgusted at her image, and scolded herself further. She told herself to get a grip, pull herself together, try harder.

And so, launching herself off the mirror with her fingertips, she decided to follow through; to try harder. Recollecting herself, Marley decided to fight against the pain rather than give up, shaking her limbs off and stepping rigidly back into the centre of the studio, where the choreography began. She danced, her head throbbing, trying her best to ignore the persisting agony.

"_Just. Try. Harder."_

* * *

**Well, it's official. The Ryley population is extinct and has become a ghost town. I am the only survivor. The sky is green. I live in the supermarket feasting on whatever scraps of food I can find until, inevitably, the stock runs out and I slowly starve to death. But do not fear! I will finish this story – I promise – before dying my slow and painful death in the supermarket. I promise. (Also, to anyone who is reading (…*tumbleweed*…,) I am writing this at 11:21pm so perhaps that will suffice as a reason as to why I am illustrating the lack of Ryley fanfiction as the aftermath of a zombie apocalypse? It has been a long week).**

**I love you all, Ryley fans and apocalypse survivors alike. I love you LOTS!**

**-Beth :-)**


	23. The Determination

**Sorry for not being consistent with my updating! I'm afraid I can't fix it easily. After this chapter, my time will be consumed by revising for mock examinations, so I kind of need to focus on that. Once they're over in January, I'll try and crack this story best I can. Until then, sorry if this chapter lacks in any way. I've got a lot on my plate!**

**If anyone wants to fangirl about Supergirl/The Flash tho…. Slide into my DMs on here or follow me on Twitter ( jennoists)…. Adam Foster AKA Jennoist TV reunion... That's all I'm saying….**

* * *

Her hand ached monotonously as she etched onto the enviously constant lines, inked one after the other on the page. Her writing – elegant and joined – grew volatile on the page, tiresome. Marley dreamt of the chance to put the pen down, click her hand back into place with a satisfying _crunch_, then skilfully lift the pen back up and return to her essay, but she was convinced that allowing herself even that would lead her to be anxious of the seconds she had wasted instead. Call it ridiculous, laughable, dramatic…. The brunette called it a Thursday evening.

Finally, she scrawled her last sentence messily across the page. Her eyes were too fatigued to proof-read, so the girl assumed that it wasn't incomprehensible and dismissed the four pages of handwritten work, putting them neatly to the side of her desk. She cracked her knuckles, thought about getting a drink of water, declined. She would finish Math, then have something afterwards. Of course, her parents were out that night so she could have dinner whenever she wanted… for as long as she wanted it, at least. Her stomach protested, but she wasn't all that hungry. The anxieties of juggling her social life, romantic life, Cheerios, Kentucky and a hefty load of homework was enough to feed her for the evening.

Beginning her next pile of equations (and ultimately deciphering it as a foreign language on a page), she thought about texting Ryder for help. Things had been easier with Ryder since voicing their opinions more – accompanied by a few more meaningful dates which the pair had managed to squeeze in – but Marley still longed for something that would prove that her faith was save with him again. Besides, all of the buzz around McKinley as students anticipated the end of the semester just reminded the girl that soon, they were to be pulled in opposite directions – Yale awaited him now, hungry for its new teenage prodigy. Her tired eyes wandered to her phone, which had been turned over to prevent any distraction from her work. She sighed – it would have to wait. He was probably busy with his parents anyway – ever since the news of his acceptance into Yale, they had been spoiling him regularly with little outings. Celebrating their genius son.

And so, the considerably less-of-a-genius Marley Rose attempted to decipher her quadratics. The pain in her abdomen persisted. Her throat was sore, cracked, dry. She regretted not getting that water, but it would be her reward when she finished Math. Determination fuelled the pain in her body as her back began to ache prominently from leaning over her desk, her eyes pulsating due to the lack of sleep. Too much of her time was spent worrying in cold sweats in the middle of the night, instead of resting. She couldn't exactly help it.

Marley's long-anticipated cheerleading audition for Kentucky was now only two days away, with plans to leave after tomorrow's school day so she could practice and (hopefully) rest after the journey, staying in a hotel room before the awaited audition the next day. With any luck, she'd be back by that evening. It all seemed strange now, how it came around so quickly and would be over in a similar flash of time, and she found it funny how something which cast the very path of her future would be over in the blink of an eye. However strange it seemed, it didn't stop the girl's constant stressing, lack of sleep, undereating… if anything, it made it all worse. She only had one shot – one miniscule, over-in-a-flash shot – to secure the future she wanted. In fact, it brought out the worst in her, and she found herself being paranoid and scared, even distrustful with Ryder. Marley was certain that in going into any depth on the topic of her insomnia spells or nervous appetite loss, she would get a telling off from her boyfriend, or worse: empathy. She would feel her throat burn up in suppressed anger when Ryder would try to tell her that he knew what she was going through, because the brunette knew he didn't – he had aced every test, every pop quiz, every interview and had already gotten into the college of his dreams. He had no idea. Despite it all, the couple had in fact grown in intimacy, and Ryder's hands had grown warmer with the summer weather; a cold, stone hand no longer stiffened around Marley's waist. Nonetheless, it wasn't long before make-out sessions and sweet nothings would burn out into exactly that – _nothing _– now with the continued lack of trust, less prominent but still somewhat there.

Realising her thoughts had drifted and her hand was scribbling nonsensical answers onto her page, she switched her cerulean eyes back on the swirling questions in front of her and demanded focus. Her body was weak, thirsty, hungry, trembling as her jaw clenched and her eyes narrowed, trying to square in on the equations with a desperate intent to answer them. She was sweaty, as her body hadn't fully recovered even still from the vigorous practice of her dance and exercise – like seemingly everything else, she had simply run out of time to do a cool-down. A shower would be rewarded once all of her homework had been completed. So far, this was only her second piece of five. Her throat burned and now, a headache took over. One that she was well accustomed to by now, since the first one over a week ago in that dance practice.

Then, something new happened, as a dull ache coated her body, moments before it began to quiver out of her control. Like many things, the panicked sapphire gaze would inspect and diagnose, but again she fed herself lies. It was probably just an aftershock from another prolonged session of training for the Cheerios' Nationals Competition – and Glee Club's, for that matter. Yes, she had done a lot of physical work today. It was probably just that. Nothing a bit of mental exercise and arithmetic couldn't fix.

It wasn't long before, contrastingly, a familiar sensation made itself clear – but it was a sensation she despised, and was revolted by. She knew what was coming and, not knowing how much time she had left, rushed to her en-suite (knocking over her desk chair in the process), her head now pounding as her vision began to tunnel and her ears were taken up by vile ghostings. Trying the cold metal doorknob with a shaking, clammy hand, she immediately kneeled down to the toilet on her immediate left upon access. She was throwing up what remained in her stomach within seconds.

Finally satisfied she had nothing left, she clasped her hand around her viciously pounding head as the pain persisted there – luckily it was fading everywhere else. She sat on her bathroom floor against the door, sliding her legs up to her chest and cradling them with her other, unoccupied hand. With blurry eyes, she dared to inspect those hands, damp with sweat and quivering slightly. She waited for her breathing to return from its spell of shortness, and for her racing heartbeat to return to normal. _"I must have a bug of some sort…"_ she made excuses next.

Eventually, with her heartbeat still prominent in her chest, she reached for the basin, and used it as a launch to get herself up. She looked into the mirror, found herself reaching for her skin, which seemed practically translucent. Her face was thin, her fingers frail – she could barely recognise the person she had become. Most noticeably, though, were the dark circles under her eyes. Not puffy due to a simple lack of sleep, but engraved, complex, purple and blue semicircles underneath her bloodshot, unmoving eyes. Suddenly, it wasn't surprising that Ryder had been asking if she was okay more and more lately. Marley wiped the waterlines of her eyes, one at a time, then rested her hands on the sink before her to try and stop the shaking in them.

And yet, even the made-up excuse of "a bug" didn't prompt a break. Even thinking of taking a day off now made her believe she might vomit again. The only option was to persevere; to keep going. Besides, she could only scold herself at how fragile she had become over nothing – no one else seemed to be finding senior year _this _hard.

With no way out, and another reassuring thought to mask something a lot more serious, the girl shook off her arms, flushed the toilet and, eventually, went back into her room. She returned to her desk and picked up the chair, placing it back where it was before starting again with her work.

* * *

"You seem pretty faded… are you sure you're okay?"

There it was again. That lilt in his voice, that slightly tighter grasp on her hand, that lift in his eyebrows as the gaze beneath them focused entirely on her. Usually, she would still be moved by his ultimate care and dedication to her, but today, she was too anxious to answer to it like she usually did. She sighed. "Yes, babe, I'm sure. Honestly."

One eyebrow raised further as the other narrowed in confusion at her follow-up statement. "_Honestly_?"

She was trying desperately not to crumble under the pressure and snap at him. "Yes, honestly. Like I told you: I'm just tired and overwhelmed by the amount of work there is for me to do now. That's it." Marley giggled. "I'll get over it, I'm sure."

Still, Ryder's grip on her hand didn't waver. "I know you will. It's just… you _always_ say you're tired…"

"That's because I _am _always tired…" The brunette sighed again, chuckling agitatedly. She knew he was only trying to help, but another sleepless night and another malnourished morning left her attention span shortened.

Ryder leaned over and kissed her temple. "I know that too. We're all struggling right now, Mar. I mean, I know exactly what you're going through-"

Despite the kiss which calmed her for a second or two, Marley found her rage rising up her throat at her boyfriend's empathy and, this time, she decided not to hold back. "But you don't. You don't, Ryder. Because you're a straight-A student without even trying, and you've already been accepted into the college of your dreams while my career hangs in the balance! You don't have a damn idea what I'm going through." She retorted – thankfully not too loudly – as the chestnut-haired teenager's features grew shocked and exasperated. The couple slowed down as Ryder's hand grew slack and wasn't desperate for Marley's anymore. She finally turned fully to him, feeling his hand's lack of urgency and the shocked look on his face. Her face sank even further. "Oh God… I'm sorry… I didn't mean to snap at you like that. I'm sorry. It's just- I'm just-"

"Tired?" Ryder replied simply, with the same temper she had just shown. On second thoughts about his actions, he too softened his eyes. His jaw remained clenched. "Look, I can't imagine how stressful this must be for you, but I'm right here, with open arms, willing – and trying – to help you. But you're not helping yourself, Mar. Please, just let me help."

The girl looked up into his eyes, not needing to search for truth – she knew he was being genuine with his words. And yet, something still led her to cast her eyes away. "I can't… how am I ever supposed to get into college if my boyfriend helps me with everything? I'm completely incapable of doing anything on my own."

Ryder exhaled to the side of them, looking down to his girlfriend. She appeared more than "a little faded". She had grey pebbles for eyes, not sapphires, and her hands which he now cradled were thin, frail and cold. "No you aren't, Marley. It's completely reasonable for you to be struggling right now and no one's expecting you to juggle all of this without any help whatsoever. I don't want you getting yourself sick."

That sentence forced an involuntary shiver down the girl's spine, not helping seeing as she was already cold. She bit her lip and began walking with him again, tugging him along. She mumbled, simultaneously furious and heartbroken at herself. "I already have…"

"Huh?"

She took Ryder's mishearing as a new lead. "I… I'm late for Cheerio's practice. I'll see you later? We can talk this over, I promise." Marley smiled against her quivering complexion and risked a tender kiss on the lips right by the entrance into the locker rooms.

That kiss lingered on the lips of the two of them, and Ryder considered leaning down and following the action through again, but they were vulnerable to the open spaces of school around them, so he slapped on a smile instead. "Be careful, okay? Don't take any of Coach Sylvester's crap."

Marley could tell his thought process from just looking at him, and found a smirk creep onto her face. Nevertheless, lacing her thumbs between her chest and the straps of her backpack, she opened the door to the girl's locker room. "I promise."

* * *

Stretching on the football field, with the sun beaming down on her transparent skin, Marley eventually found herself in the presence of comfort. Her heartbeat was still frenzied – it hadn't quit since last night – but now, next to probably her best friend in the Cheerios, she was able to relax knowing that any empathy Lana gave her would at least be completely sincere. It was her friend who opened up the conversation: "So, are things any more fun Bieber? Or still stuck between a rock and a hard place?"

Marley smiled into her lap before stretching to reach her toe. "Things are easier. And, yeah, more fun too..." She exhaled, closing her eyes, still smirking.

Her friend raised an eyebrow at that comment, grey eyes intensifying. "Wow, a big change then." She noticed Marley's satisfied and sizeable grin. "You two…? You haven't…?"

"Hm? Oh no… no no no, we haven't. Not yet. Still waiting." Finally some colour tinted Marley's cheeks as she blushed, clarifying to her friend in a fluster. "No… more spontaneous dates, sharing feelings, things like that instead. Although, we have…"

"Oh God, I should have never asked – I will toss cookies all over this field if you continue with that sentence." Lana grimaced, pulling her slender leg up behind her and straightening it out, balancing.

Marley shivered at the mention of vomit, remembering last night but glossing over the memory once again. She cleared her throat, looking up at her friend from the ground, sneering. "Anyway, what about you? Still up to no good?"

Lana chuckled, but was interrupted from any sentences she could have made by Coach Sue, whose voice sounded more vile and menacing through a megaphone, followed relentlessly by her student. "Oh my _God._ For the mother of all that is merciful in this eyesore of a building, _why _do you insist on making my life so hard? _Listen up and gather 'round!_"

Marley was left to stand up abruptly and run over to her coach, making her head throb in the process due to her sudden, shaky movements. The hot, summer sun was hissing at her, making her throat dry and cracked, like it had been last night. She winced as Coach Sylvester drew the megaphone near to her mouth again.

"When there is so little time before Nationals, I don't expect to see you all chatting and loitering about on the grass like prepubescent children at the park, when you should be stretching. And yes, I know, for some of you these are your last weeks at McKinley, and for two of you, there are spots for you to do this professionally on a scholarship which depend on you being spotless tomorrow," Marley gulped, her already-racing heartbeat threatening to go faster at that comment. "But for the next hour, I simply don't give a crap." The woman scanned through her team, ensuring they were all intimidated by her venomous tone and searing eyes, before composing herself. "The first routine. Starting positions. Let's go."

Turning around and suppressing the anger caused by her always-agitating coach, Marley turned around and rushed to her starting position, accidentally brushing the arms of fellow Cheerios as she went. Apologising hurriedly, the girl ran faster, letting her vision blur in exhaustion before rubbing and blinking her eyes. She sighed – hopefully this wouldn't be a catastrophe.

Then again, none of Marley's hopes and dreams were met these days. Running through the first routine a few times, her body grew shaky and tired again as she tried, to no avail, to stop falling apart. Her vision wasn't tunnelling like it had before, thankfully, but was foggy enough that she bumped into one or two of her teammates along the way. Between the mists of fatigue, she could hear Sue's voice booming over the megaphone at her. Asking her what the hell she was doing, yelling for her to put herself together. And she was desperately trying to.

Occasionally, she would snap back into reality and grasp herself again. There was still no justifying her actions, as her teammates were already looking upon her with dismay; Bree was sneering and whispering something to the Cheerios on her side, "If _that's _what I'm competing against tomorrow, there is _no_ problem." Eventually, Sue would get tired of Marley's weary attempts at choreography and demand they go from the top.

And throughout all of an agonising fifteen minutes, the brunette just heard her name over and over again. She heard it through the mouths of her friends as they looked on in worry, disgust, fear; through the mouth of her coach, who had so much faith and hope in her before, but was now so disappointed. _Marley_. She needed to answer those voices and tell them she was okay, that this was just a bad time, that she was just tired.

Only she couldn't now as the voices grew distant and her vision began to tunnel. Her ears were ringing and distorted the sounds around her, making everything around her incomprehensible. Things were beginning to seem distant, out of reach…

The voices moaned a final ghostly lamentation, and then, she was lost in an unfamiliar, dark abyss.

* * *

**DUN DUN DUUUUN**

**Oh no, what will happen to Marley next? Are things going to be okay with Ryder? Will I ever answer these rhetorical questions I probably leave after every chapter? Only time can tell.**

**Love you all, and have a very Merry Christmas!**

**Beth :)**


	24. The Devestation

**I left you on a bit of a cliffhanger last time… so I managed to squeeze in another chapter before Christmas/exam period! A loooooot happens in this one. – all important things, I promise! Hope you enjoy.**

* * *

The sound came first. Agonising white noise and murmurs she couldn't measure into words, and that infuriating, continuous beep. Of course, initially – like everything – it sounded distant, foreign even. But as it cleared, Marley felt the courage to open her eyes at last, squinting at the first sight of the blurry whiteness. She blinked. Still white, but now, tiled ceilings. The beep didn't get louder, but rang clearer and more electronic. The murmurs were clear last, and Marley was finally able – amongst her foggy, drowsy state – to differentiate the mumbles into comprehensible sentences.

"Laurie, how are we going to tell her? It'll break her heart, for crying out loud! After she's worked so hard…"

"I know, Ruth, but... maybe – I don't know – say I have an authority, I'm a professional… maybe we can put in another word-"

"But we can't. They won't listen – we've all already tried. God knows why, but we can't beg them anymore." At that point, the teenager finally felt confident enough in her decision to move her head, pounding, and her eyes to her surroundings. A white room. The door was open. The voices came from the open door. The familiar faces of her parents. "It's clear they've made their decision. God… I just wish there was a better way… oh, honey, how are we going to tell her?"

Not fully understanding the sentences in her lethargic trance, the girl desperately tried to form quiet, hoarse words. "Tell me… what…?"

The parents heard the voice despite its low volume, and rushed over to their daughter in excited, exasperated shock. Her father clasped her hand in his.

"Oh, Marley, you're awake. How do you feel?"

"We were really worried sick about you, sweetheart."

"We were! We were, we had no idea how much you were struggling…"

"You're at the hospital, sweetie. You've been in and out for hours now. Mostly out. Do you remember the times when you woke up?"

Marley tried to speak clearly but instead only croaked out a few words. "I… no… wh…"

"Ryder's outside. He came from school when he heard about you fainting. You fainted at Cheerios practice, Marley. Do you remember?"

The brunette attempted a slight nod. "Mmh…" she breathed. Even provided with all of this new information, she was muddled but persistent in her drowsy state. She needed to know what they were talking about before they bombarded her. "Tell me what?"

Marley's mother turned to her husband in confusion, then turned back to her daughter and began stroking her hair. "Sweetie, what do you mean?"

The cerulean-eyed girl sucked in a breath through her nostrils, sitting up further upon gaining the courage to. Her mouth was still practically drunk as she tried to voice her thoughts. "You have something to tell me, but it's hard. Something that you wish… there was a better way…?"

The parents looked at each other with a sigh, Ruth now perching on the side of the hospital bed. Lawrence Rose took his wife's shoulders in his hands, sensing her concern. "Mar, you've only just woken up. Let's wait for you to have some rest, lie down for a bit…" he said nervously.

"Funny thing about being unconscious – lying down is all you end up doing…" She instantly retorted, then drew her voice back in a huskier, more frightened tone. "Tell me what?"

Marley watched as her mother looked down and composed herself. What was she composing herself for? What was possibly worth composing herself for? "Well… Mar, sweetie… it's Saturday. Saturday the 30th."

"So? What does that have to do with…" the brunette started, chuckling the matter off and wondering why her mother need be so dramatic over a date. Saturday the 30th. She pondered upon the significance of that date…. and then it clicked. "No… Mom we have to go, _now._" Her voice grew louder and more urgent, cracking in intensity. "Mom, why are you just sitting here? If we leave now we can still make it, right? Mom, come on! I have to go to Kentucky to do my audition!"

Something about her father's grip on her mother's shoulders told her that she already knew why they weren't moving; that they had already figured everything out.

And it was her father who decided to deliver. "Marls… we've already called the university and told them your condition, and they said it was in your best interest to rest so that you don't make yourself sicker. They refused our attempts to get you there somehow, even if we showed another one of your cheer tapes… We're so sorry, Marls…"

"But- I mean- you can reschedule it, right? Like…" Marley exhaled in disbelief. "There has to be another way around this, right?"

Her Mom's grip on her hand grew, too, in urgency. "Sweetie, they're all booked up on applications and couldn't have slotted you in anywhere else. I'm sorry."

"No." Marley's eyes blazed in devastation and scepticism. "You have to do something- Dad- this is my future! Kentucky was my one chance to do what I love! Come on, there has to be another way, please… make some calls, tell them I can do tapes, essays, community service, exams-"

And so Marley's mother interrupted again, attempting to put an end to Marley's yelling. The insistency in her voice grew. "Marley, their hands are tied. There's nothing any of us can do to change the board's opinion. I'm sorry, but there's no way – your potential place at Kentucky has been terminated and surpassed and it's been given to Bree, provided her audition goes well. I'm so, so sorry, Marls. I wish there was something we could do, but- we can't. We're so sorry that this has happened. We just want you to get better, please…"

"No- I…" Beginning to panic, the girl's eyes became teary and her breathing was louder and demanding. "Please- this can't be it. I've worked so hard-"

Her father projected a softer tone, but remained pressing in the words he only prayed his daughter would listen to, and take away from. "That's part of the problem, Marley. You're working _too _hard, and your body can't catch up anymore. Your number one priority should be getting better. Your mother and I will contact the other universities that you've applied to-"

"But there's nothing wrong with me!" Marley persisted angrily. "I feel fine, I'm not sick!"

Ruth finally decided to reveal why this conversation had been taking place. It seemed all too sudden and unbelievable when they were told by the doctors, but upon the revelation as they pieced together the excuses Marley had made it was, unfortunately, a reasonable diagnosis. "Marley, you have borderline hypoglycaemia. Your blood glucose levels are abnormally low because you haven't been eating like you should; sleeping like you should, and you're focusing too much on work and your cheerleading and the future – it's stressing you out and worsening your anxiety." The brunette let the words of her mother sink in as she became silent and taken aback. Her mother caressed her hand with her warm fingers, taking on a look of sympathy and pity. "It's not right for you to continue, honey."

No thought stuck out amongst the thousands of thoughts circling her brain – her stupid, incompetent brain which couldn't do things for her the way others could. For the first time in a while, her heartbeat froze – it had listened. It understood that all of this was _her _fault. Marley's fault. She was clearly incapable if, when trying to do the same that everyone else was managing, she crumbled under the pressure and almost obtained an illness rather than obtain any achievements? Had she really become that weak and unable? Was she really so powerless that any attempts at doing things by and for herself left her damaged and feeble, without an endgame anymore? All pushing, all trying, and nothing to show for it. She was missing her shot at what she really wanted to do, and for what? What was the Plan B, or the fairy-tale ending; the senior year she had always wanted?

Her dad interrupted the screaming silence. "Of course, we still want you to finish everything you've started, but… you need to start taking things easy. Your health is our number one priority."

Marley still shook as her lip began to quiver, overwhelmed as she still endeavoured to answer all of the questions in her head. "I just- I've worked so hard, and now… it's all been… for nothing…" She sniffed as her eyes welled up further with tears, triggering her mother to move her warm fingers to her arm.

"I know it seems that way, but you need to think of the bigger picture-"

"Which is what?! I'm useless!" Marley barked, returning to her initial state of disbelief for a few seconds. A silent sob seemed to straighten that out, as she returned to her fragile persona, her lip still quivering. "No other universities have shown any interest in me… I'm gonna be a Lima Loser for the rest of my life… I…"

Her father began to massage his wife's shoulders to occupy his devastated, anxious hands. "This is a huge shock, I know, but we'll get through it, sweetie. I promise. Even if college doesn't work out, we can always look at internships and… all of that…" He spoke, though it was obvious that he hadn't expected his daughter to be taking that route, especially since college was the more praised and preferred option any day.

Not long after, the doctor had come in and explained Marley's condition in more detail, something about malnutrition… treated with medication… small changes in lifestyle… should be fine… not a serious case. The girl wasn't really listening to her, just taking in the monstrous, vicious turn of events as it happened. Her eyes didn't dry up, but they sank and grew deeper; scratchy, unmoving, bloodshot. Her parents left her alone in her room for a while upon request, once the doctor had left. It was nothing they had done, she just needed time to think; to answer the abundance of questions. She didn't know where to start. The only things clear were the facts: she had disappointed herself, her parents, the school, and all because she had tried to do everything she wanted to in the time she had left of her senior year. Now, she would be collecting that diploma in a matter of weeks, with nothing to do with it afterwards.

A knock on the door didn't silence these thoughts. She didn't move, but Ryder risked sliding in anyway, quietly pressing the door closed behind him. He turned to her unmoving body, sat upright in the centre of the room, in that dreary hospital bed with that IV digging into her hand, and that heart rate monitor providing unnecessary percussion in the morbid situation. The boy deflated at how sunken and frail she seemed, her eyes still glossed over in ruin. "Hey." he started, trying not to sound patronising as she finally lifted her gaze to look at him. He took her eyes as an invitation to pace over quietly and take the seat next to her.

"Hey… you waited up for me, after all this time?" His girlfriend murmured, looking up at him as he sank down in the seat.

"Kinda…" He dismissed bashfully. "How are you feeling?"

She sighed, her voice growing tearful once again, but still remaining soft. She couldn't take all of her thoughts and anger out on him, especially since he had waited hours to see her and was probably already worried sick. "I don't know anymore…" She continued to stare into the distance. "How would you feel if you woke up in hospital, and you were told that your whole future that had been mapped out had just… fallen to pieces all at once?"

Ryder nodded his head, devastated for her, his throat bobbing. He knew how hard Marley had worked; it was such a shame that she had vexed herself as a result, and now, she had to pay for the poor treatment of her health. He leaned forward and pressed a pair of lips delicately against her temple; she closed her eyes and leaned against him on impact. He secured his arms around her, drawing away his lips and continuing to try and reassure her. "Everything's gonna be okay. I know it."

"And for the first time since we met, I'm finding it difficult to trust your knowledge…" She trailed off, a tear rolling down her cheek as she sniffed mutely. Ryder hastily wiped it away, deciding that for now, he couldn't say anything to make her feel healed – and for the time being, that would be okay. At the soft touch of his skin, Marley finally found her eyes drifting to his, magnetised to them even at times like this. Hers remained sad, but his crinkled at the corners, smiling forlornly. She considered smiling as well to tell him she was okay, but lying right now wouldn't be of much use – instead, she rested her face in his hand and hoped that would insinuate the message.

Ryder wanted so badly to pacify the anger and pain the girl before him felt. Seeing how empty and broken she appeared now, he couldn't help but feel responsible. Even when he had asked her every day if she was well, she would just shrug it off. Perhaps he could have done more, and then she wouldn't be in this position. Still, to apologise and say it was all his fault was probably not what she needed to hear right now, so instead, he tried to keep their minds off the topic. "When are you allowed to leave?"

Marley sniffed again, watching as Ryder's hand fell slowly from her face and reached for her hands, manoeuvring around the various drips and hospital wires. "Soon-ish I think – Mom's just getting my prescription sorted out."

Ryder caressed her hands with his thumbs. "And… what are they giving you?"

The brunette looked down at their tangled hands, grateful for the comfort he was giving her even when her mind couldn't stray from what had just occurred. "Just glucose pills and vitamins and stuff. Now that they've given me a glucagon shot and we've discussed it all, I'm free to go with just those."

Ryder looked at her and began to smile as his girlfriend intertwined their fingers. "See – that's the silver lining to borderline hypoglycaemia: you can have loads of sugary stuff and like, not have to worry about it that much."

Marley tried a laugh, and for the most part it worked – keeping in mind the morbid situation.

Finally allowed to leave the hospital at 3am on a Saturday morning, Ryder found himself walking over to the Roses having said his goodbyes to Marley. He told them he was on his way. They insisted to let him stay the night at their house, after all he had done for Marley and now that it was so late (or rather, so early). Besides, Ruth was amicable with Ryder's mother, and when it had all happened the day before, the Roses promised Ryder's parents that they would keep him safe until morning. The boy masked his slight guilt at being an inconvenience with overwhelming gratitude – he was exhausted anyway. Marley was told of the new arrangements with Ryder and was elated, but still needed to change clothes. Her mother had gone back to the house at some point and fetched Marley something to wear, suspecting that it would sting to have to wear her cheerleading costume and be reminded of it all.

And so, the brunette was admitted out of Lima General, the four of them travelling to the Rose household in morbid quiet, as her teary eyes finally dried into darkness and stared into the distance. Ryder didn't stop holding her hands, caressing them with his thumbs, sensing when she was about to burst into tears again and letting her sink into him if she needed to. It was strange how he knew when she was about to break, burn, crumble into ashes. It was even stranger how he managed to sweep her up every single time.

Finally home, Marley hazily wobbled into the grand hall entrance with Ryder in tow. Somehow, everything reminded her of her failure and lack of success; lack of colleges. She found her eyes drifting to the trophy cabinet, where many cheerleading trophies gleamed. They were worth nothing now. They proved nothing. It made her flustered with red anger at herself.

Her mother made her a cup of sweet tea to help her blood sugar before bed, calming her down simultaneously. Marley insisted that Ryder slept. He declined and sat with her at the table amongst the dim lit kitchen. The cerulean-eyed girl gazed over her mug as it heated her face, making her nose dewy. She nursed the drink, taking tiny sips, Ryder's hand on her thigh as he stroked it caringly. He had been doing that a lot recently, and she always appreciated it – even tonight, when her head was still plagued with wretched thoughts. "I just don't know why I can't do anything."

He looked up at her words. "Marley…"

She put down her cup, playing with her fingers in her lap and looking down at them, mumbling a teary-eyed response. "I try making friends, that doesn't work. I try and juggle everything best I can, I collapse on the football field. What am I good for?"

Ryder sighed again at her deflated complexion and her low mood, knowing that this time, he needed to tell her why she was wrong. "Mar, you're good at so much. It was just that you were trying so hard to perfect everything all at once, you didn't give yourself a break and that meant that your body didn't rest right. I mean, look at your grades, and your talent in cheerleading, and in Glee. You've never flunked any of that. You have lots of friends who care about you. You're good for so much, Mar – your body just needs to rest every once in a while, that's all."

She didn't believe that, but she would try to with a clearer head. Now, another question haunted her as she looked up to his face. "Please tell me something? I've often wondered. Why are you still here, looking after me?"

Ryder chuckled, one eyebrow lifted, shaking his head dismissively. "I'm not looking after you. This is a team effort, you know – you put in more effort than you lead yourself to believe. Sometimes I wonder what I would have turned out like if we hadn't done all this together, and like… that guy I could have been… I seriously would have hated him." He looked down at his hand rubbing her thigh slowly and softly. "Because without you, I'd never have all of this confidence. I'd probably still be stammering out every word I said, or I would have never had the courage to actually apply for Yale. I certainly would have been beaten up a few more times, that's for sure." He stifled a grimace and ended up with a grin, which Marley even managed to reciprocate. "Even when we've fought, that changed me for the better, 'cause I learnt what my life would really be like if you weren't there. That sucked, so I came back. And even, like, _when _we fight, I don't like myself then – I don't like how I get, and how I go all red and angry at you when I don't have much of a reason – so then, we're stronger because I know that I shouldn't fight with you again. Obviously we're not going to agree on everything because we're only human. We're this co-"

"Complex, moving, living, breathing thing." Marley raised an eyebrow and smirked, remembering what he had said weeks before when he had turned up at her doorstep looking sorry for himself. She giggled tiredly at her boyfriend's confusion. "Don't look so freaked out, I think about you saying that all the time." Upon seeing his eyebrows elevated at _that _comment, her features softened further. "We've been dating for, like, almost a _year _in total and you don't think you've made an impression on me too?"

The brunette grew shy, but was instantly uplifted by a short kiss which lifted her with confidence amongst her fatigue; she could sense his own tiredness from his soft initiation, but luckily the meaning was not tainted by their lack of sleep. Ryder had only pulled away a few centimetres, his hands stroking up and down her body virtuously, when Marley found herself closing her eyes this time and leaning into him more, kissing longer and more passionately but still maintaining that comforting softness. One more kiss after that one saw them satisfied for the moment. Marley sat forward and found herself resting her head on his shoulder. She couldn't forget the world outside of that blissful moment, and found herself asking: "We're gonna be alright, aren't we?"

The cerulean-eyed girl looked up and smiled nervously into his shoulder, anticipating his answer. Eventually, Ryder beamed and leant down to kiss her forehead. "Yeah, of course we are."

Marley's room looked the same as it always did, seeing as rooms never usually alter themselves around bad circumstances and heartbreak. Ryder passed the time as Marley changed into her pyjamas in her en-suite, just looking at the pictures she had on her wall. Memories captured of her childhood, family, friends, boyfriend… all from times and places which were blissfully unaware of the misfortunes that took place now. He smiled as he looked over those pictures, though, because he could only hope that she would look at them and remember there would be a life for her after this; there would be more pictures to add to that wall. The boy turned at the sound of rustling and found Marley opening her bathroom door, now in a loose top and small pyjama shorts. She sighed and stared blankly into the distance, breathing out one of her typical one-liners. "Okay. I am officially exhausted."

Ryder smiled at the floor, then looked up to see her wrapping herself in her comforter. He followed his footsteps to her bed and leaned down to kiss her forehead. "Night."

At his brief words, Marley furrowed her brows, childishly disappointed for some reason. She had no idea why, seeing as she was tired and so was he, so it was wise to get as much sleep as possible. "Goodnight." She smiled slightly and tried to make herself comfortable, but suddenly her mattress became strangely uncomforting; empty. She sat up as quickly as she had laid down and found herself whispering into the dull light in her bedroom. "Wait..."

Ryder pivoted on his feet from the door, turning with questioning eyes to his girlfriend. "What is it?"

Put on the spot under the light of his eyes, the brunette awkwardly began to scratch the back of her neck. She began her timid reasoning for holding him back. "I… uh… will you stay with me… tonight? Not like- no- not in like, a sexual way… just like… so you were with me, I guess? Just to sleep. Nothing else." She gulped, trying to laugh it off. "Y-You don't have to or anything, I know you might not be convinced… I-I just thought…"

He nodded. "Sure."

Her eyes widened in surprise. "Really?" She slouched back down slightly, expression warming as he began to navigate to the other side of the bed. Still fully clothed with nothing to change into, Ryder made himself comfortable next to her, taking off his glasses and putting them to the side. She grinned warmly, sleepily. "Thank you, for… _everything _you've done for me..." He turned to her, features dimmed slightly – the only source of light was her bedside lamp. "…and not just for tonight." She added upon afterthought.

The girl shuffled closer to him as he lay on his back, close enough that she could lean over his body as he leaned up to hers, grinning. He clutched her chin and manoeuvred it close to his as he closed the gap between their mouths. The pace of her heartbeat was only slightly slower than his, and she was aware of this as their chests touched because of the close proximity. A few more soft but passionate kisses, and he was kissing her cheek once, just as delicately, before drawing his face away completely. He smiled. "Goodnight."

She grinned and blinked slowly, shuffling a bit further away but deciding to take advantage of him being there and cuddle up to him, resting her head on his shoulder. "I love you." She breathed as one hand lifted up to his chest, the other curling beneath her own body.

Ryder smiled and closed his eyes, winding one hand to her back and stroking up and down soothingly. "I love you too."

* * *

**Okay, first of all: sorry, I had that planned for a long time. Second of all: sorry, I probably won't be able to update in a long time. Third of all: sorry, I have noticed that my writing has deteriorated recently, and I can only blame myself because I wish I had enough time to tweak every chapter to perfection – I usually write these all in one go and spend days afterwards tweaking. I'm doing the best I can, but I understand it's not as good as it has been, so sorry!**

**Apologies aside, I hope that everyone has a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I don't think there will be that many chapters left of this story, though I'm still mapping out the chapters that follow after this one.**

**Thanks to all still favouriting/following/leaving reviews, I hope Santa is extra nice to you all this year!**

**-Beth :)**


	25. The Recovery

**So…. I'm back?**

**I have a lot of reasons why I haven't updated in so long, but I won't bore you lovely, lovely readers that still read this story, so here we go with the next chapter!**

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Apparently word had spread around school of Marley's fainting episode, and it was apparent that rumours were swimming and flooding through the hallways when the brunette herself heard a few, passing through the following Monday morning and exhaustedly reaching her locker. She twirled the combination as another whisper teased that she had been in hospital. She rolled her eyes. Luckily, the only people at school who knew the true events of the early hours of Saturday (and therein the cause of Friday's unconscious spell) were Mr Schue, Sue Sylvester and Ryder. The girl planned to tell Katie at some point, and perhaps Lana, but elsewhere she strived to leave the rumours unsatisfied, not giving into any lie a student had made up out of pure boredom. She just hoped the lies wouldn't become too severe.

Finally opening her locker after fighting against a clouded mind, she reached to fetch and swap books, but was halted by a softened grip on her waist. She sneered, sensing his fingers aching to turn her around and face him, but she vowed not to satisfy them yet. So he was forced to mumble into her ponytail. "What are you doing here?"

Not predicting such an ominous response, she gave in and peered at him over her shoulder. "What do you mean "what am I doing here"? Last time I checked this was my high school."

It was obvious that it wasn't the response Ryder had wanted either, but he somehow expected it from her. When things seemed darkest, it was bizarre how she would brush things off; act like they never occurred in the first place. It almost scared him, and led the boy to believe there was something rooted deeper, but he huffed through his nostrils and humoured her façade, albeit shakily – turbulence caused by his overwhelming guilt and care for her. "I know that, I-I meant…" Ryder exhaled again, then lowered his voice. "What are you doing in school? Marley, you were really sick…"

Without turning around, she sucked in a breath as a form of preparation for what she should have seen coming earlier. She knew that he was just trying to protect her from everything, but it didn't alter her in anyway as she made the final exchanges in her locker. "Yeah, I _was _really sick. But I'm okay now, alright? I feel _fine. _I promise."

"Mar, this isn't just an "I feel fine" situation – you were in _hospital_. Unconscious. For hours. Doesn't that ring any bells?" He sighed, leaning a hand against the top of the lockers as she shut hers. With the lack of progression, it felt like he was talking to the locker and not the girl who rummaged in it. "You need to rest."

The brunette spoke monotonously and began venturing down the hallway, glancing over her shoulder at him before she left – a sign, beckoning him to follow her. "I rested all of yesterday. And I don't know if you remember, but in the early hours of Saturday it was _you_ I was resting with..." She sneered, hoping that the reminder would pose as a barrier in the inevitable exchange – it did, for a moment, as he caught up to her stifling a blush – but Ryder knew by now how to tackle her playful teasing. He attempted to object again, triggering a sequence of drawn-out exhalations from his girlfriend. He persisted nonetheless, until Marley had no choice but to stop in her tracks, pulling them away from the middle of the hallway. She didn't want annoyance to get the better of her again, so stroked his forearms as a way of therapy as she attempted to fix him in the meantime. "Ry, I get that you care about me. And I'm glad you do. It's just… I don't have time to stop. I know I was at the hospital, but I'm not really that hypoglycaemic and it was only a precaution. I honestly think my parents were being overdramatic about the whole thing." She smiled shyly, but discarded the expression upon seeing that he didn't reciprocate. "I honestly feel fine – I'm on my medication, my blood sugar's fine right now. I have the all-clear from, like, everybody. Except from you, babe… _please,_ just trust me on this."

The boy shuffled anxiously under her comforting words and intense blue-eyed gaze. "I'm trying to, it's just- Mar, you can't expect me not to worry about you… during the time in that waiting room, I was petrified… I…"

"Really? My parents told me you were asleep for quite a lot of it." Marley raised her eyebrows, stifling a laugh.

The boy turned embarrassed, as he did so easily at her hands – thankfully, he managed to laugh before the brunette felt any pang of guilt. He smirked. "Well, I was dreaming of you then."

"Ugh. Please don't tell me those words _actually _just came out of your mouth." Marley mocked disgustedly, but struggled to keep a straight face. "Your sickly remarks are enough to cure my blood sugar completely."

But the light moments always seemed to fade into darkness these days, and inevitably, the colours dulled as they began walking down the corridor again. Ryder grew more serious. "Even if you're not sick, you still had a lot taken away from you that night…" His words threatened to shake her abruptly as she desperately tried holding herself together – she squeezed her eyes shut upon being reminded of that haunting occurrence. "You still need time for _you_… time to, like, properly take it in; talk to your parents, decide what you need to do next-"

Marley turned around abruptly, stopping them walking once again, finding herself weaker listening to his desperate pleas. "No. Ryder… I-" She sucked in another breath, trying to compose herself still. Everything seemed so much slower; so much harder, now that she was so exhausted by everything – with not even a future to motivate her. "I don't think taking a day off is going to help me get into college. But let me know when a university puts that as one of their requirements." She replied sarcastically, bitterly – by now, Ryder had learnt that it wasn't to be taken to heart. It was understandable that she would be a bit infuriated at the news that everything was crumbling into ash around her. She began walking again, briskly, taking his hand and squeezing it – it was little things like that which proved to him she was still grateful for his support. "Besides, I had to come in today. It's the day they announce the prom king and queen nominees."

"Oh, of course." Ryder rolled his eyes, always finding prom and any other high school excitements nauseating. "But good luck."

"For what? I don't want to be prom queen." The brunette scoffed, casting her cerulean gaze in front of them emotionlessly. "Thinking about last year's catastrophe makes me consider not even _going_ to my senior prom."

"Yeah, well, it didn't seem like a catastrophe for you at the time…" Ryder breathed teasingly combatting her previous advances.

Somehow it acted to cheer her up. "Of course it was, and you know it…. Oh, God, I don't want to think about it! Anyway… see you at lunch?"

"Definitely, your majesty." He sneered, earning him a reciprocation and a playful slap on the arm.

-(x)-

It was now every day that Glee Club practice would steal after-school slots, as well as Cheerios practice – so the brunette had to juggle both, amongst all other turmoil taking place. She nibbled on her lip anxiously, walking into the auditorium for Glee Club practice and wondering if she was going to quite literally stomach the next hour or so. Walking in, Marley winced as Sugar approached her. She threatened the urge to roll her eyes upon the girl's nasally congratulation – it just so happened that the brunette was amongst the announced nominees for Prom Queen, to her utter disappointment. Still, she managed to slide her backpack off one shoulder and throw it to the side, grabbing a bottle of water and attaching herself to the cluster of club members surrounding the stage.

Luckily, before her headache could claw onto her temples any further, a voice shooed it away slightly. "I'd congratulate you, but…"

"….You know I'd rather not hear it?" Marley chuckled, finishing Ryder's sentence as she took a sip of her water. The room in the air seemed thick and hot, but somehow made her shiver on impact.

And so the session began, as Mr Schue commanded everyone to get into their first places for another Nationals run-through, giving Marley a look of concern, which the girl nodded and dismissed with a tired smile. She was grateful, at least, that two people in the room knew what was going on besides those swirling rumours and whispers. She hoped that she could silence them all together – that this could be her secret, and that people would stop fussing over her – or better: that this wouldn't be happening to her in the first place. She wished for that, harder and harder, despite how impossible it was; she wished harder as she tried to stay composed in practice, but her breath was growing shorter, and her head pounding. Aching for relief as her stomach and throat burned familiarly, she waited until the song was over before asking to be excused. Mr Schue dismissed her without having to hear some sort of made-up reason, and the group watched with questioning eyes as she rushed out.

Thankfully, she wasn't too late, rushing into the nearest bathroom and spluttering, disgusted in herself – if there was anything worse than the tuna sandwich that Ryder had forced her to eat at lunch, it was seeing it in reverse. Finally confirming that she was finished, she flushed the toilet and exited the cubicle with haste, but a red, white and black uniform stopped her. An infamous face, with piercing eyes cast down at perfectly manicured nails. "Wow. Why am I not surprised, of all people, to find Marley Rose tossing cookies in the bathroom?"

Marley rolled glassy, red eyes and wiped her nose, tiptoeing around her colleague to the sinks. "Lay off, Bree."

The girl in question only smirked further, clearly delighting in the fact that she was evoking some sort of reaction. She persisted in a treacly, venomous tone as Marley washed and dried her hands. "Not until you tell me what the hell is going on with you... so, why the retching, huh? Did your geeky twig of a boyfriend _finally _put out, consequently infesting your uterus with tiny, four-eyed offspring?"

The brunette sniffed again, but with pursed lips and crossed arms as her stance grew menacing, facing her fellow cheerleader. "And when are you finally going to grow up and realise that creating gossip doesn't get you anywhere?"

"You say that, and yet, you're not denying anything, Rose." Bree chuckled, inspecting her nails.

The girl rolled her eyes again, in utter disbelief that the girl hadn't grown at all; that she still lived off unpromising leads and patchy, speckled rumours. "Of course I deny it. God, you actually feed yourself those disgusting lies of yours, sweetheart?"

"Alright, alright." Bree finally looked at her target, raising her hands up as if, all of a sudden, she was the victim in the scene. "All I want to know is why you just threw up all over the ladies' room. Can't you grant me that information at least, Prom Queen?"

Marley paused for a second, considering the way Bree had referenced her, before moving her head forward with raised eyebrows. "Is that it?" She began to laugh. "Is all of this because you're _jealous _of me?"

Bree stepped closer and sneered, looking her opponent up and down provokingly – as if this was a fair game to play at all. Her patronising tone failed to mask the toxic words which occupied it. "And _why _would _I _be jealous of _you_?" She stepped closer still, but Marley stayed put firmly – she had played this game so many times before. Her gaze didn't stray, despite how it was bloodshot and glossy with tears. "Last time I checked, I was the one who had everything I ever wanted. The football players, the popularity, the recognition, the respect… and the future." She spoke in a repulsively treacly tone. "Tell me, Marley Rose… how does it feel knowing that your one shot at your dream vanished before you even had a chance to try? Knowing that a silly little faint meant that your lifelong ambition was taken from you forever, and knowing that for the rest of your life, you're going to be rummaging in the trash; eating off the floor; picking off the goddamn street… until a college finally puts you into consideration?"

She said those things as if she knew that Marley was already telling herself the same; as if the monologue was just a reprise of the brunette's thoughts already. And she was right. Marley's insides twisted lethally, the acidic feeling worsening at the increasing irritation and anger – and suddenly, she didn't want to play this game anymore. She despised being knocked down even at her lowest. Her lip threatened to tremble, but she fought past it with husky, menacing words as she stepped closer, seemingly unafraid, even as she crumbled on the inside. "You can't scare me, Bree. You stole my chance, sure. But I still have something that you don't: I have _compassion_, and _courtesy_, and the strength and courage to continue after something knocks me back. Soon enough, people will stop serving things up for you on a silver platter, and then what? All you do is knock people down, and I know I was guilty of that a year or two ago, but now I know that if you knock people down, eventually they're going to claw their way back up." She spat her final words at the girl before exiting. "I only hope that for your sake, you wake up from your stupid daze sooner rather than later."

And once the bathroom door had swung shut, she could finally release – even slightly – with a prolonged breath. In, out. Trembling, like her. She turned her head to see a familiar silhouette further down the corridor and could assume his concern for her even in the distance. She pivoted on spotless white sneakers and paced over to him. "What are you doing out here, Ryder?"

"We're… taking a break." He gestured to the auditorium with a nudge of his head. "And Mr Schue wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Mr Schue… or you?" She sniffed, finally close enough so he could make out the blotchiness on her face.

He dismissed her comment. "Were you crying?"

"I was throwing up." She countered bluntly, sniffing again. Her heart was pounding still at the surprise encounter that had taken place minutes ago.

His footsteps seemed to interrupt her of further excuses as he met her fully and held her at the arms, which were laden in goosebumps amongst the hot summer around them. "What happened? Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine, I promise." She wheezed.

"Don't lie to me. Please." He was scanning over her in milliseconds, sensing that she was being passively deceitful. His words weren't harsh, but were insistently calm. "What happened?"

Marley gritted her teeth as she felt her eyes welling up further. "Babe, I told you-"

Bree's timing was impeccable as she traipsed out of the bathroom, turning to find Ryder looking at her and delighting in how he connected all of the dots. She smirked, waved, sashayed off down the empty hallways. Marley turned around upon seeing her boyfriend's vision cast away from her at last, and she too connected the dots. She turned back to him cautiously. She knew he would try to pry her open. "Marley…"

But she didn't need to be pried open this time – her eyes were growing more distressed by the second, so he was surprised by the stability in her voice, though the fact that she didn't return his gaze came as no surprise when she was this vulnerable. "I hate this so much. I hate it. I feel so lost, so _fucking _lost… and now I can't even get through a few dance routines without almost passing out. And now the whole school is going to know. I hate this, Ryder…" But even with a confession, she hated showing him how defenceless she was, so bit down on her lip when it trembled. "And I know it's just a taste of my own medicine from the last few years, but… I'm so, like, _sick_ of this... I'm sick of feeling worthless, I'm sick of all the rumours, I'm sick of being incapable to do anything and I'm sick of everyone looking at me like a charity case. And I feel so anxious all the time, a-nd…" She swallowed some of the anger rising up her throat, but her thin composure was crumbling more each second. She shut her eyes. "And I'm just… so lost. I don't know what I'm doing." She opened her eyes as some tears finally fled from them. She finally let her lip tremble. "Graduation is, like, 2 weeks away… and I have no idea what I'm doing, or where I'm going after." She sniffed as her voice was finally flooded with tears as well. "And you're going to Yale and I'm so proud of you… because even when this school gave you shit, you proved them all wrong but- but you're the only thing anchoring me down, Ry." She swallowed again and clamped her mouth shut to prevent a lamentation, staring down at their feet on the hallway's linoleum floor as if it would suffice for not being able to face him. "And you're gonna be so far away… a-and what the hell am I gonna to do… without…."

"Mar, don't…"

Her voice grew less frail and louder in volume, as if Ryder's attempts had only fuelled her anger. "I'm such an idiot, thinking I could leave this school with everything." Her eyes watered out of anger. "I'm so stupid… so naïve to think… to think that my future would line up with everyone else's; would line up with yours… and now not even _you _can fix me…"

"Don't speak like this, please…"

"But it's true, isn't it?" Marley yelled, her eyes finally squinting at him as a few more tears escaped hastily, fleeing from a bloodshot captivity they had known too well. Her gaze flickered fearfully to his left shoulder instead. "I'm so sick of not caring about anything, but it's like…" She sucked in a breath. "It's like I can't stop it… I can't stop myself from not caring, and feeling so lost, and lying awake at night just knowing that I'm…"

"Marley-"

"Past the point of saving." She finished. Her voice cracked and turned quickly into a whisper near the end, and Ryder couldn't bear it anymore. He let her sink into his plaid button-up, let her shake morbidly as her sadness vibrated through him with mumbled cries. He let her mascara run onto his shirt. He let her break away momentarily to breathe his air, and watched as she sucked it in involuntarily, helpless to her own shortness of breath. He let her curl her fingers over his shirt in distress. He let her sink into him again as he stroked her back and kissed her ear. He let himself well up too as she slowly got her breath back, but whimpered into his shirt; into his shoulder; into his neck.

* * *

The next day, rumours had intensified into truths, and the cheerleading team gossiped about the girl who had spent the night with an IV and glucose pills instead of in a hotel room in Kentucky, preparing for her audition. Really, Marley had once believed – besides the shattering of all of her hopes and dreams and futures – that the accident wasn't as big a deal as her parents had made it out to be. But McKinley loved to amplify the truth, and so she was treated as if she was terminal; hopeless; worthless. She swore that Bree and the squad had taken every possible detour through the school so that they could torment the brunette more; so that they could walk past with a menacing, perfumed breeze, and the girl had no choice but to keep walking, keep her head down and her Cheerio uniform straight, holding Ryder's hand with increasing desperation. After her and Ryder had returned to Glee rehearsal the day before – after she had ensured her eyes were no longer red, and complex, and aching for her boyfriend's hands to dry them – Mr Schue made her sit out and get her breath back. She was thankful, but still only struggled when finally allowed to participate again. Those in the club still unaware of her health situation looked on again in miscomprehension, but she tried to erase their gazes with a roll of her eyes. In that sense, looking back on the day before, the blue-eyed girl could be glad that at least some of the school knew.

Bree brushed against her back as the girl exchanged books before Glee Club again. She shivered at the sweet-scented gust that wafted past her, and felt sick as she could practically taste it. Her stomach sank at the thought of Glee Club; the thought of letting another team down. She knew what she had to do, and had already told Mr Schuester.

Ryder would collect her from her locker at exactly this time, and she could feel his comforting presence gaining up behind her until he was tapping her on the shoulder. Marley could already practically feel his pain at what was about to happen, but he was unaware. "You ready to go?" He mumbled delicately into her air, as she smiled sadly and took his hand.

She waited until they had turned onto the hallway of the choir room, when he was just beginning to notice how uncharacteristically mute she had been. "Please, please don't hate me for what I'm about to do. I love you. Don't mistake this for me giving up on _us_." Ryder was already questioning her in his brain as she implied she was giving up on _something_, but before he could voice any of these concerns, they were turning into the full choir room. Mr Schue connected his gaze with Marley's across the room, saw a subtle nod and a panic-stricken glance, before he turned to the rest of the class to check everyone was here. The brunette gave Ryder's hand a final reassuring squeeze. "Go and sit down."

His eyes begged her for answers, but he was dismissed anyway as Mr Schue grasped the club's attention. He had no choice but to sulk in a front-row seat. "Right, everyone. Marley would like to talk to you guys before we start any further preparations." He turned to the girl in question, who was wringing her clammy, pale fingers at the front, and spoke in a hushed tone. "Are you sure you wanna do this?"

But Marley offered that same, sad smile at the man as he returned to his seat, leaving her bare at the front. She sighed, glancing over the faces of the crowd who – after a year – finally trusted her and believed she was a good person, somehow. She bit her lip, shut her eyes and sighed again, clearing her throat to prevent a gravelly tone – but it did nothing to terminate the quiver in it, still. "I…I thought about singing a song or something, 'cause that's what we do here – we share emotions by singing, or whatever- but…" her voice threatened to shudder even more. "But it would take me so long to find a song which had everything I wanted to say- it would take so long… so long to find a perfect last song. A swansong." The brunette inhaled their confused expressions like cold oxygen, and shivered. "And I've really given it some thought, but- for a lot of reasons, it isn't fair for me to continue here… and disappoint you guys, when you've all worked so hard- _we've_, all worked so hard. So… that's why…" She glanced one final time at the sea of faces before her, and spotted Ryder's – as confused as the rest of them. Her public speaking skills amounted to nothing if it meant letting them – especially him – down. She turned to Mr Schue, who regretfully nodded her on. "I've decided to quit Glee Club."

And to what happened next, she amounted to nothing still. A few murmurs of confusion arose, and then, she could hear the cogs turn in their brains. They all began to guffaw, shout, quietly shuffle in miscomprehension. Marley fought the urge to visibly cringe at the response, but she had expected no less. The group demanded answers to justify the betrayal. She was begging them now, screaming over their screams, pleading for the sea of faces to hear her out. "I'm not well…" she finally said, unsteady, rolling her eyes as she recognised how ridiculous it all was to be almost crying over Glee Club. "It's not right for me to continue, and get all your hopes up. I was worried. So then Mr Schue and I got to talking, and…" Apparently that had only fuelled the fire – that their own leader had given a hand in the treachery that was unfolding before their very eyes. She yelled over the voices again, pale hands now gripping at tassels on her Cheerios skirt to prevent the immense shaking in them.

"But… how sick _are _you?" Blaine asked, a discreet voice in comparison to the pandemonium around him. The others quietened down at his more polite plea for answers. "Temporary, terminal… what?" Marley bit her lip as her shoulders scrunched up slightly. "You don't have to leave now, Marley. We've come so far."

The brunette's eyes sank, realising that the rumours hadn't reached the Glee Club yet, before they inevitably flickered to Ryder's, who was more silently distraught over the decision she was making. She could tell he was thinking about averting his gaze away, but chose to stick with her instead. It felt like he was confused over being upset or being supportive – whatever it was, it gave some kind of strength to answer. "You shouldn't start building coffins for me, but… let's just say I don't have the stability to juggle both the Cheerios Nationals _and _this." She smiled. "I'm sure you'll hear about it soon. Bree apparently wants the whole school to know, so look forward to a Jacob Ben Israel interview." She tiptoed around it and was, for once, bathing in the uncomfortable feeling of a silent choir room. "I'm more than happy to help with choreo if you need it, but I don't think me competing is a good idea."

"So who said you had to quit?" Katie finally spoke, desperately trying to keep a hold of her friend's position in the club. "You don't have to compete, just… stay and help us."

Marley smiled genuinely at that comment, but misery still found itself tangled amongst the curled-up corners of her mouth. "You don't need my help anymore." She laced her thumbs between her body and the straps of her backpack. "Good luck at Nationals. You'll all kick ass, I'm sure." She spoke finally, watching as some members were shooting her and Mr Schue glares, others looked confused and distraught silently, and some tried to adjust themselves to the abrupt circumstances.

Amongst these was Sam, who found himself whispering into his friend's space. "Did you know?"

Ryder's exhale seemed to shudder as he comprehended it all for a final time. He clenched his jaw in sorrow of how she saw herself as a bomb, waiting to destroy all in her wake, afraid of hurting another innocent soul. Her junior self would laugh at the sight of her compassion, but it wasn't a joke to him. It was only heart-breaking to watch. "No." He bit his lip, letting his feet move to their own accord upon sensing the group's focus had been wavered to each other. He spoke to her in a hushed tone. "Mar, don't do this…"

She knew he would try to fight in vain, and had considered her means of offering mercy in advance. "I'm sorry, babe… I h-"

"Don't say you have to, because that isn't true and you know it. Mar…" He breathed. "You won't feel this lost forever. And we talked about this – you have to let the medication kick in, start taking things one step at a time – you don't have to sacrifice commitments for this. We're all here to help you-"

"I know you are." She replied instantly, matching the lull of his voice and his gaze as he looked back confusedly. "But I can't just rely on you guys… I'm gonna let people down. If I'm struggling now, what's going to happen in a week or two when all of the deadlines are _really _kicking in and graduation is even closer? You wanted me to take things slower; take a few things off my plate, so I am. I'm trying to be healthier. Please, just… support me on this. I'm sorry, Ry. I don't want to do this either."

"You don't have to." The chestnut-haired teenager reminded her hopelessly.

Marley sighed, taking his hands. "I love you, Ryder. But-"

"I love you too. You don't have to do this." He dismissed.

"This is just something I have to do. To make me better."

"Mar…"

"Don't you want me better?"

"Of course I do, but…"

"I want nothing more than to stay. But I just can't – not for now, anyway. Not until I'm sure I'm better." She sucked in a breath and released one of her hands from one of his, up his chest, to his cheek. He sank into it upon the invitation. "I would never do something like this if I didn't think it was for the best."

It was strange – looking back on the day's events – how he had made himself agree with her in that moment. How he had let her kiss him on the cheek with sunken eyelashes fluttering against his skin. How he had let her lips linger there for far too long. How he had let her hands finally release from him, latch themselves onto the straps of her backpack, and walk out – just like that. How he had no choice but to watch her go, and no ambitions to force her to stay.

* * *

**I'm so dreadfully sorry for not updating sooner, but I hope to get the next chapter out soon! Only about 4 or 5 to go until the end, if my calculations are correct…**

**Until next time,**

**-Beth :)**


	26. The Decisions

Anxieties became so common these days that they transformed into constant, dull undertones. They throbbed at the back of everyone's minds as graduation and the reminder of greater responsibilities grew nearer – most prominently in Marley's, as she was scrolling down through emails, treasure-hunting for replies from her applied colleges, reaping dust instead of gold. It was a long shot that she would get in, and she knew it, but she persevered despite every hurdle in her path. She had already cut out Glee Club to focus on her future, and with her drained body she was tired constantly, but the girl had to continue – otherwise there would be nothing left to be hopeful for. Her naiveties of getting into college were the only things igniting a spark in her life. Ryder was helping her with her ambitions, even when something about her leaving their adored singing club had put a drag on their relationship. He was trying to make it as effortless as possible, and she appreciated it endlessly. Marley needed that out of him when even simple tasks seemed an effort now. She didn't want it to put a dampener on their relationship, but Ryder wouldn't let her chastise her struggles. That was a shame, but only an addition to those dull undertones in the back of everyone's minds.

Watching the words on her screen pan down as she flicked through emails, the brunette's cerulean eyes began to grow heavy with exhaustion – until a phone vibration awoke her. Rubbing her eyes, she picked up her iPhone and initiated the call, having skimmed over the caller's name. "Hey Katie, what's up?"

She had barely mumbled her exhausted introduction when Katie was chirping on the other line. "Okay, look. Before I start, I just wanna say that I was prepared to be fully supportive in your decision to quit Glee."

"….and I'm guessing something changed your mind?" Marley spoke monotonously, one eyebrow raised.

"Exactly. Mar, you know I love you but… that was stupid."

She giggled, seeing Katie's objections as more humorous than persuasive. "I was just doing what everyone else was telling me to – I'm looking after my health-"

"No, you're not." Katie rebuffed immediately. "Cheerios is _way _more demanding that Glee ever was, even with all your added flips and tricks. And I know you didn't give Cheerios up because of status, or because you enjoy it so much, or because you want to do it as long as you can now." Marley sighed, remembering that she had told Katie about her reasons for quitting Glee Club. She was still dodging around telling Lana. "…but I don't see why Glee Club needs to suffer. Especially when Nationals is on _Friday_, and we've had to get a sophomore to fill in your place, and she has no idea what she's doing. So it has to be something else. And my aim today is to get you back on the team."

Marley huffed, feeling her heart sink into her stomach at the difficult situation. The brunette tried to comprehend how she would inform her friend that she would likely never return to Glee Club. "Katie... I can't. I'm sorry. I didn't want to quit, but… what if I faint on stage, or throw up or something? That's not exactly gonna help us win."

"But you've got all the medication you need! You told me the other day you felt better and it was working! Look… we kind of need you over here. Ryder needs you, I need you, Blaine needs you… hell, even _Tina _would kill to have you back in ND right now. So please, just do everyone a favour and come back?" Feeling Marley unchanged by her begging, she conjured up more arguments. "There are less than two weeks left of high school. Come on, Mar… you helped us to this point this year, just help us finish it?"

"I… I…"

"Come on, what's stopping you? Your health is priority, but if something _did _happen, no one would blame you for it, honestly! Besides, we have more of a chance with a subconscious Marley Rose than that sophomore-"

Marley saw no humour in that comment, though, and strived to silence all of the points Katie was making at once, interrupting her of her enthusiastic babbling. "You wanna know what's stopping me?"

"Well… yeah… I-"

"Ryder and I are doing great. We actually haven't been better than we are now, it's amazing, and he cares so much about me… but I told him that me leaving is for the best, and now I have to follow through with that. Even if I came back, he'd be constantly worried about me. Like, it would totally wreck his focus so… I can't. There wouldn't be any chemistry in our duet, because he'd be too busy worrying about me." She sighed. "Besides, Tina has always wanted a solo at Nationals, so now that she's my replacement, I'd want her to achieve her dream."

Katie's voice grew less severe and begging, hushing and cooing to show Marley her sympathy. "She feels bad about that, you know. You and Ryder are the duet partners from heaven." Katie could feel Marley smile helplessly on the end of the phone, and then, there was a silence. The blonde followed through. "Hey…"

"What is it?"

Katie threw caution to the wind, releasing her idea into the air to be judged. "What if you surprised him? He'd be so happy to see you, it would be _perfect _chemistry. Of course, we'd have to have Mr Schue and the rest in on it, but if _Ryder _didn't know…"

Marley furrowed her eyebrows, immediately rejecting this new concept that had been seemingly plucked from a cheesy rom-com. "Katie, what are you talking about?"

"You could still be in Nationals, you could still sing your duet with Ryder… but it could be a surprise. He still thinks you quit, but just before the competition, you come into one of our meetings at the hotel-"

"Oh no no no no no. Sorry. That sounds like an absolute catastrophe."

"But it could work! And if it does, just imagine the chemistry – you'll emerge, and then-"

"Do you even hear yourself?"

"Tina already has your dress measured and made. What's the worst that could happen?"

The brunette bit her lip, feeling strangely convinced by this outlandish thought. It couldn't possibly work out, could it? Something like that only worked seemingly with a script, cameras, a director… it was impossible. And yet, something seemed plausible about it all. She could practically feel Katie's breath bated for a response – but she couldn't offer her a comprehensive one yet. "Um… I'm going to Ryder's. I'll text you later, okay?"

Katie smirked. "Okay. Just let me know."

Marley smiled weakly. "Bye." Hanging up, she scraped her brown tresses away from her face, paused in contemplation, then closed her laptop and put it on her bedside table. No responses from the University of Iowa, Michigan State University or Wake Forest University yet. Huffing in exhaustion, she lifted herself into a standing position, texting Ryder to tell him she was on her way before pushing through her bedroom door, persevering still.

* * *

When her eyes opened next, it was in a blur. Blinded by sunlight. Encapsulated by soft sheets and the tweeting of birds. Deep in serenity – for once. She must have fallen asleep. Blinking repeatedly, she finally respired, inhaling deeply through her nostrils. The scent of him filled her senses, making her suddenly very aware of her surroundings. Reviving on her boyfriend's bed, she outstretched a limb and met an obstacle. Rubbing her eyes, she was faced with her bemused boyfriend beside her, holding a thick book in his hands. "Good nap?"

The brunette grinned sheepishly, lopsidedly, ashamed of her own drowsiness. Memories of how she got in that position flooded back: her and Ryder were watching a movie on his laptop upon her arrival, and she must have found everything so comforting that it drifted her into a slumber, embarrassingly enough. "Oh God… I'm sorry…"

Her boyfriend chucked. "It's okay. I was just reading." With that, he turned to his book, which seemed like a novel, contradictory to his usual non-fiction books.

She grinned at him, outstretching her arm and smoothing a hand over his chest as she edged closer. Marley whispered – "Of course you were" – and kissed his cheek, lingering there as she felt his cheek raise in a smile. Pulling away at last, she watched as his eyes met hers briefly, reciprocating by kissing above her brow. Marley inhaled deeply again as he pulled away. "God, this is a great date huh? Me unconscious most of the time…"

"Mar, you're tired, it's fine. I didn't want to wake you." Ryder countered reassuringly, closing his book and putting it to the side before shuffling to turn to her.

"Thank you, but… I just don't want to miss out on our dates... it's kind of becoming a regular occurrence for me to wake up next to you." She snickered, her hand moving to his shoulder.

"Why do you say that like it's a bad thing?" The boy smirked in reply, smoothing his hands over the definitive curve of her waist. He watched as she bit her lip and blushed. Ryder had become so much more confident as she thought about it, and although for him it was somewhat uncharacteristic, she loved this slight change in him. The teenager gushed in the fact that she no longer had to be so afraid of making him uncomfortable – though she still checked in with him, like he was doing to her.

She couldn't hide from the way he was looking at her – not in lust, or in desire – in admiration. She bashfully turned away when she finally had the chance, looking down. "Yeah, but um…" She couldn't hide from that comment either. "I guess maybe I just feel like we're losing time together. And I know it isn't just from me sleeping when I come round here…"

They never really talked about her leaving Glee Club since she had done it, preferring to ignore it as they spent less time in each other's company. Ryder exhaled, but didn't shy away from her eyes like he so easily used to. It was like he wanted to tell her everything was fine when it clearly wasn't what it used to be. The drag on their relationship grew persistent as they notified it for the first time, and Ryder could read the regret in Marley's eyes like a non-fiction book. She raised her shoulders in a lengthy inhale as she tried to explain herself. "I- I'm sorry… It's just that-"

"I know." He dismissed. "It sucks, sure, but in the grand scheme of things you need to get better. So if you had to do this, I trust you." Perhaps he was scared of her slipping away. Perhaps he didn't want to watch her leave him again. Perhaps he was being genuine, but something about his sincerity made Marley feel worse.

She smiled nonetheless. "I promise. I told you I wouldn't do something like this if I didn't think it was for the best, right?"

"Then I believe you." The chestnut-haired boy smiled and reached for a bit of hair threatening to go in her face.

And as he leaned in to kiss her softly, surprisingly softly considering the way their contact had been recently (Ryder figured that they should slow down and he should comfort her rather than bombard her), Marley couldn't bear to tell him that she didn't quite believe it all herself. She couldn't lose face now that she had committed to her decision, even with Katie's suggestion still fresh in her mind. She bit her lip to hold back an uncontrollable smile as she pulled away, and looked down, dodging another kiss. She suddenly felt an overwhelming sensation of guilt – one which she could sense Ryder had picked up. Looking up to his eyes, she smiled sheepishly. "Come on, let's get you packed for Nationals."

The brown-eyed boy grinned, turning to the side of his bed and launching himself into a standing position. He offered his hands to her to help her get up as well, which she accepted with a smile, not letting go as he led her to his closet.

She began helping him pack, looking between him and the pool of clothes that were going to get him through the trip that hopefully led the New Directions to victory. She bit her lip, Katie's words still echoing in her brain. She could surprise him. It was an outlandish thought. But it was so strangely appealing, and she missed Glee so much… but what were the chances of a win if she couldn't even stay awake in Ryder's company?

The boy was contemplating things too – but not the same things. Instead, he pondered over something that he wanted to ask for a while, ever since Marley had gotten out of the hospital. He had kept his thoughts closed and his mouth shut – but now, he strived to ask, as she helped him pack his things in the most bittersweet of ways. "Hey, Mar… does Lana know? About the hospital, and your… condition?"

Marley furrowed her brows, confused by his sudden interest in a girl he had never talked to. "Uh… no, I haven't told her yet. Part of me doesn't want her to know, and to think I'm weaker, or whatever. Why do you ask, babe?"

"No reason." Ryder breathed in a hurry. "Just… wondering."

She believed him out of exhaustion, and he was grateful – considering his façade was poorly constructed and clichéd. But he knew the truth, and the reason for her not telling Lana. In fact, her dark-haired friend had informed him of it.

_Ryder had just been told of Marley's condition in the hospital, and was trying his best to adjust to what the situation around him had become. The boy bit his lip hard enough to bleed, ducking his head down and trying to find some comfort in running his hands nervously through his hair. Eventually, he shuffled around in the uncomfortable waiting seat – made more uncomfortable by the morbid news he had just received – and shuddered against the numbingly clean hospital air. He remained hunched, towering over his lower half in the seat, resting his elbows on his thighs as he looked down at the linoleum floor. He refused to recline in his seat at such a situation. Usually, the boy had the ability to organise all of his thoughts at once – as he had so many, so often – but now, they swirled around like a current, threatening to drown him. He squeezed his eyes shut. Everything around him seemed deafeningly quiet – after all, it was 1:30am. She hadn't woken up yet – for good, anyway. She was slipping in and out. He missed her. He wanted to see her. He wanted to apologise for not checking up on her more often, and for not realising she was struggling to such an extent – perhaps she didn't want to hear that._

_Inhaling the numbing air through his nostrils, trying to calm down his frenzied heartbeat and pumping blood, he felt a body move to sit next to him. He was so exhausted, and dreaded it being a nurse checking up on him patronisingly. So he was surprised by a shockingly teenage voice. "Hey, Ryder."_

_He lifted his head to see a girl with black hair and edelweiss skin, recognising her instantly as one of Marley's friends. She was wearing high-waisted denim shorts with a large woolly cardigan draped over her exposed skin for warmth amongst the chilly summer evening. "Hey…" he slurred in his drowsy state, trying to muster a smile – something about her expression explained to him that she didn't need him to pretend. What had happened was bad, and there was no use pacifying it. "It's-?"_

"_Lana." Her lips raised at the corners as she leaned back in the seat next to his, crossing one leg over the other with hands in those woollen pockets._

_Ryder nodded, before another query rose in his all-too cluttered mind. "How did you-?"_

"_-know? I saw her faint, just like the rest of the Cheerios did. Girls fainting in practice isn't that much of a big deal – but Sue and I knew it had to be for Marley. She never faints. She's the head girl. So when Sue called for ambulances and school nurses and Principal Figgins, she trusted me to help her. I saw them take her away when no one else did. I didn't want to tag along immediately – figured that time should be reserved for you and her folks, you know?"_

_Again, the boy to her left nodded slowly in drowsy comprehension. "So you turned up at what…. 1:30? Why are you even awake?"_

"_The same reason that you are, Bieber. I'm worried."_

_They were silent for a second, seeping into the sound of heart monitors and IVs dripping into veins. He huffed out of his own exhaustion, biting his lip and scratching his neck. He knew what her fate was – thankfully, it wasn't the worst diagnosis. But it was still a diagnosis. It was still a hospital trip. It was still her fate ruined. _

_It seemed that Lana's next remark followed his train of thought, as if it was moving perfectly in sync. "So… Marley isn't gonna get to that audition in Kentucky, is she?"_

"_No." Ryder breathed. Another silence, when to Lana's surprise, Ryder spoke again. "I want her to wake up, but at the same time… it's going to shatter me. Watching her comprehend it all, I mean." He smiled humourlessly to cope with the horrible situation as he continued. "I mean… I can practically imagine her face already, and it's painful as hell. Her eyes will catch on first as the blueness goes dull. Then her lip might waver, her nose might twitch. Her eyebrows might raise, then narrow. And she'll be crying."_

_The girl beside him was torn between being lost in the depth of his remorseful words, and admiring his adoration for her friend. At the same time, she finally saw what Marley saw, and discovered the pain they carried on their backs. Marley had cried in front of him so many times that he had memorised her mannerisms. It was heartbreakingly impressive. The dark-haired girl turned her face to him, watching the way he was careful not to reciprocate. "So… is it bad?" She whispered, speaking briefly and non-specifically, not wanting to hear the answer at the same time as she was praying for a good one._

"_She's borderline hypoglycaemic. It's not the end of the world, but… it's gonna take a while before she's the energised Marley we know, I guess."_

_Another silence. "Maybe it'll be for the best, though. Like, I know it's bad, but- maybe this was her wake-up call." Ryder finally turned to Lana, slowly comprehending her. "She's always taken on so much – like, Coach Sylvester's always got some task for her to do, and then with parties, and rallies now the weather's warm, and auditions, and homework, and competitions…"_

"_I guess you're right." _

_Another silence._

"_You're taking it out on yourself."_

"_What?"_

"_Her being here. And being her. It's eating you up and tearing you apart." Lana spoke matter-of-factly. _

_Ryder knew he couldn't object when she had read him so easily, so instead, he huffed and bowed his head again. "I'd always ask her if she was okay, and she'd tell me she was "just tired". I guess – after everything that's happened, w-which I'm sure you know about – I just… I didn't… want to pester her. And continue asking and asking. Even if I did, she'd probably say the same thing every time. But… maybe she wouldn't have. Maybe I could have helped her before it meant her missing out on her college dream."_

"_That's unhealthy, you know. Blaming yourself." Her words didn't offer much depth, but none was needed. He wouldn't have been able to comprehend any depth anyway amongst the blur of his own exhaustion._

"_I guess. But it's what I do. She does the same to me – I don't know if she, um, tells you about it…"_

"_She does." Lana dismissed, smirking at him amicably._

_He looked even further down in embarrassment. "O-oh."_

_Another short silence. _

_Ryder spoke again. "When I got into Yale, she was so happy for me. Like, I've never seen her so overwhelmingly happy. But there was some underlying anxiousness for her own fate, so I assured her it would be fine. She would get her dream since the dorkiest guy in school had gotten his. And I really just- I just thought, like… it would happen. And everything would work out. And now I can't stop imagining her waking up and finding out and-" something about his rambling reluctance to stop speaking had sobered him, and soon, he was apologising amongst drowsy slurs. "Ah, I'm sorry – we've like, never had a conversation before this and I'm just blabbing like an idiot. Sorry. Uh…. you talk."_

_Lana smiled at his apology. "It's fine. You're tired. You're worried about her. You're allowed to be like this." She drew in a breath. "I'm worried about her too."_

"_Yeah, it must have sucked seeing her… you know…"_

"_Yeah…" she breathed. "I don't want her to know I was here."_

_This seemed to have sobered Ryder a bit, out of blind misunderstanding. "Really? Why not?"_

"_Because… because she'll be embarrassed. I'm one of her best friends."_

"_Isn't that… more of a reason for you to be here than not?"_

_Lana sighed, leaning forward in her seat. "She doesn't like being weak. She doesn't like people seeing her like that. You've seen it, her parents have seen it – but I hardly ever do. She doesn't let me, no matter how badly I want to help her. So if she saw me here… with you guys… I would stick out like a sore thumb." The black-haired girl smiled humourlessly, the same way he had – to cope with it all. "Marley would probably worry about me seeing her weak than actually worrying about herself."_

_Ryder nodded, understanding her completely. Sometimes, his girlfriend would treat him that way too. She still struggled to let people in. He was about to reply in comfort to this new unlikely friend he had made, when the boy synced into the sounds of her parents down the hall, outside her room._

_Marley's mother was cupping her face in distraught. "Laurie, how are we going to tell her? It'll break her heart, for crying out loud! After she's worked so hard…"_

_Lana's eyes drifted to them as well, following his. "How long have they been doing that?"_

"_Every time she goes back to sleep. It's like they get a false alarm and it sets them off."_

_The girl nodded, her nervous hands stroking up and down her thighs. "I can't imagine what it must be like…. like, I guess you can't blame them."_

_Ryder bit his lip. "Yeah. Marley's parents have always been… vocal. I'm just not used to it. My parents say nothing and then rant behind closed doors."_

_Lana stifled a chuckle. "Is that what you do too?"_

_The boy looked down again. "I guess that's for you to decide."_

_The two teenagers were interrupted again by her parents – but this time they were not bickering. They were rushing into the hospital room. Marley had woken up – hopefully for good this time._

_Lana huffed, uncrossing her legs. "I guess that's my exit." She wrapped her woollen cardigan further around her slim figure, standing up and turning to Ryder. "Promise me you'll get some sleep. And that she'll get some sleep. And that you'll take care of her so I won't have to kick your ass."_

_Ryder's mouth teased a smile. "You got it."_

_With that, Lana nodded once before walking out, her hands still in her pockets. She didn't turn to the side to peer into Marley's hospital room – Ryder figured that she didn't want to see her so frail in that bed, surrounded by all of those monitors._

_Ryder could faintly hear Marley's frail voice in the room as the sound reflected through the walls. "Tell me what?" He closed his eyes as they grew heavy in devastation. He was about to hear her comprehend it all. He was about to hear her caw in realisation. He could practically sense her facial expressions, those twitches making themselves known, her pale skin crumpling like paper as she was torn in half. But he promised Lana he would take care of her – even if Lana hadn't asked it of him, he would have tried his best anyway. He was going to put her back together, when she was ready. Later, amongst the chill of what was now almost 2am, he decided: he wanted to see her, no matter how much she was hurting._

Those past thoughts sobered him as he stopped passing clothes to her. When her outstretched hand was not satisfied, she turned to him with questioning eyes to see his pensive expression. She could tell he was deep in thought. "What's up?"

He said nothing as his face turned into a sombre smile, taking her still-outstretched hand and pulling her up. A curious grin accompanied her furrowed brows as he pulled her into a hug, stroking her back. Slowly, Marley wound her hands around him and buried her face in his shoulder, inhaling comfortably. It seemed that the embrace brought reminders of their straying paths as he packed. Not just for Nationals – but after summer. She would help to drop him off at Yale, his whole future in front of him. Then she would go in a different path, whatever that path was – it most certainly wasn't Yale. She bit her lip, squeezing her eyes shut, and thought again of what Katie had said, and of the way he smelt as if she would never have the chance to hug him again, but she masked all of these thoughts as he pulled away from her slightly. He pressed his lips to her forehead, and she could practically sense by the little pressure he was applying that the same thoughts were drifting through his own mind. She smoothed her hands over his shoulders as they met behind his neck, her timing impeccable as he pulled away, the girl before him looking into that brown gaze through half-shut eyes, restfully drowsy with the feeling of being adored. She shut them at last, pressing her lips against his for a gentle peck. When she pulled away, he caught another one quickly, making her blush.

Marley wondered what he would say next, and hoped it wouldn't tear her apart such as her own thoughts did. Eventually, he sighed. "It's gonna be so weird, not seeing you at Nationals. I mean… I know it's for the best and all, but…"

"Yeah." She breathed, silencing his painfully heartfelt words as she wove her hands apart and down his chest, mesmerised by her movements as she tried to forget. "I know."

* * *

**I am so so so so so so sorry. I can blame this on exams, but I think I deserve to blame this on me. I've been so uninspired lately, and wrote this out of frustration for my own tardiness and for not updating and for being so uninspired. I hope my writing hasn't suffered as a consequence.**

**Every time one of you lovely reader writes "come back!" my heart melts and hurts simultaneously. Those of you that still read are the ones getting me through – please don't think your efforts are in vain. I love each and every one of you for persevering with this story.**

**This story has gone on too long. As soon as my exams are finished (which will be in two weeks), I want to get on this story for the last time. There are only a handful of chapters left, and I am determined to finish them and give these characters the closure they so deserve!**

**See you all soon,**

**Beth :)**


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